Best way to prevent molestation?

Your opinion?
Lenona.


From http://www.betsysblog.com/ :

Today's Parenting Tip (July 20)
Posted by (columnist) Betsy Hart under Today's Parenting Tip
[2] Comments
Protecting kids. . .

On the "Hannity and Colmes" last night, our debate was about the value
of so-called "good touch bad touch" education for kindergardeners, as
a way of warding off sexual predators.

I argued that at best such education at very young ages doesn't
protect children. At that age, these kids have trouble distinguishing
between (the letters) p and d! At worst, it might be invasive,
unsettling and most concerning, if we think we've protected out
children against something when we haven't, we may even be leaving
them more vulnerable than ever! Like putting a band-aid on cancer. The
issue is the abusers.

Not only all that, but we don't want to leave kids terrified of every
loving adult who just tries to give them a hug.

Here's what was passed on to me by very wise parents, and now here's
what I tell moms and dads are the two things to tell kids early that
will help, at least, to protect them from so much, and nost likely
from more than sexual predators!

First - every sexual pervert tells his young victim, "let's keep this
a secret!" But you know what? No one should be coming between you and
your child anyway, even if well intentioned, without your knowledge
and permission (i.e., a trained therapist.) "Good touch bad touch" for
a 5-year-old is likely going to be confusing and complicated.

You can help protect your children against a wide range of abuse by
instead teaching your kids the simple principle that "if ANY adult
ever says to you, 'let's keep a secret from mom and dad' that person
is trouble because he's trying to come between us - no matter who it
is, you come tell me right away!"

Second - make sure your kids know that they can tell you ANYTHING -
and you will always love and help them (or get them help) more than
anyone else in the world, because you love them more than anyone else
in the world does. That's how it's supposed to be!

Nothing is "for sure" but keeping loving lines of communicataion open,
and making sure your kids know you are there greatest advocate is a
start at protecting them in this world.

Happy Parenting

wrote in message
oups.com...
Your opinion?
Lenona.

You can help protect your children against a wide range of abuse by
instead teaching your kids the simple principle that "if ANY adult
ever says to you, 'let's keep a secret from mom and dad' that person
is trouble because he's trying to come between us - no matter who it
is, you come tell me right away!"

Second - make sure your kids know that they can tell you ANYTHING -
and you will always love and help them (or get them help) more than
anyone else in the world, because you love them more than anyone else
in the world does. That's how it's supposed to be!


I don't want my children to be obedient, that is, to do something just
because an adult tells them to.

On Jul 24, 2:02?pm, wrote:
Your opinion?
Lenona.

Fromhttp://www.betsysblog.com/:

Today's Parenting Tip (July 20)
Posted by (columnist) Betsy Hart under Today's Parenting Tip
[2] Comments
Protecting kids. . .

On the "Hannity and Colmes" last night, our debate was about the value
of so-called "good touch bad touch" education for kindergardeners, as
a way of warding off sexual predators.

I argued that at best such education at very young ages doesn't
protect children. At that age, these kids have trouble distinguishing
between (the letters) p and d! At worst, it might be invasive,
unsettling and most concerning, if we think we've protected out
children against something when we haven't, we may even be leaving
them more vulnerable than ever! Like putting a band-aid on cancer. The
issue is the abusers.

Not only all that, but we don't want to leave kids terrified of every
loving adult who just tries to give them a hug.

Here's what was passed on to me by very wise parents, and now here's
what I tell moms and dads are the two things to tell kids early that
will help, at least, to protect them from so much, and nost likely
from more than sexual predators!

First - every sexual pervert tells his young victim, "let's keep this
a secret!" But you know what? No one should be coming between you and
your child anyway, even if well intentioned, without your knowledge
and permission (i.e., a trained therapist.) "Good touch bad touch" for
a 5-year-old is likely going to be confusing and complicated.

You can help protect your children against a wide range of abuse by
instead teaching your kids the simple principle that "if ANY adult
ever says to you, 'let's keep a secret from mom and dad' that person
is trouble because he's trying to come between us - no matter who it
is, you come tell me right away!"

Second - make sure your kids know that they can tell you ANYTHING -
and you will always love and help them (or get them help) more than
anyone else in the world, because you love them more than anyone else
in the world does. That's how it's supposed to be!

Nothing is "for sure" but keeping loving lines of communicataion open,
and making sure your kids know you are there greatest advocate is a
start at protecting them in this world.

Happy Parenting

Neither bit of advice will guarantee that your child will not fall
prey to the manipulations of a child molester. The only way to truly
prevent it is to not let your children out of your sight, which isn't
reasonable. It isn't that they don't know the difference between a bad
touch or a good touch or that they want to keep secrets and were told
to, it is the confusing feelings that are brought about by the whole
deal, compounded with the words of their molestor. I believe in
discussing good touches and bad touches AND that when somebody says
"Keep it a secret from your parents." it is because THEY know it is
wrong. My kids also know that no matter what happens in their lives, I
will always love them, even if someone tries to tell them that I
won't. Like it or not molestation can produce enjoyable sensations for
a youngster that confuse them and have them unafraid.

On Jul 24, 11:02 am, wrote:
Your opinion?
Lenona.

Fromhttp://www.betsysblog.com/:

Today's Parenting Tip (July 20)
Posted by (columnist) Betsy Hart under Today's Parenting Tip
[2] Comments
Protecting kids. . .

On the "Hannity and Colmes" last night, our debate was about the value
of so-called "good touch bad touch" education for kindergardeners, as
a way of warding off sexual predators.

I argued that at best such education at very young ages doesn't
protect children. At that age, these kids have trouble distinguishing
between (the letters) p and d! At worst, it might be invasive,
unsettling and most concerning, if we think we've protected out
children against something when we haven't, we may even be leaving
them more vulnerable than ever! Like putting a band-aid on cancer. The
issue is the abusers.

Not only all that, but we don't want to leave kids terrified of every
loving adult who just tries to give them a hug.

Here's what was passed on to me by very wise parents, and now here's
what I tell moms and dads are the two things to tell kids early that
will help, at least, to protect them from so much, and nost likely
from more than sexual predators!

First - every sexual pervert tells his young victim, "let's keep this
a secret!" But you know what? No one should be coming between you and
your child anyway, even if well intentioned, without your knowledge
and permission (i.e., a trained therapist.) "Good touch bad touch" for
a 5-year-old is likely going to be confusing and complicated.

You can help protect your children against a wide range of abuse by
instead teaching your kids the simple principle that "if ANY adult
ever says to you, 'let's keep a secret from mom and dad' that person
is trouble because he's trying to come between us - no matter who it
is, you come tell me right away!"

Second - make sure your kids know that they can tell you ANYTHING -
and you will always love and help them (or get them help) more than
anyone else in the world, because you love them more than anyone else
in the world does. That's how it's supposed to be!

Nothing is "for sure" but keeping loving lines of communicataion open,
and making sure your kids know you are there greatest advocate is a
start at protecting them in this world.

Happy Parenting

Good touch-bad touch, telling if an adult says to keep something a
secret, shoot, I wouldn't count anything out.

I think I remember John Walsh saying something like would you rather
have your kids a little frightened or to be molested and perhaps
killed? I agree. Any advice is good advice.

The easiest way I started the conversation with my kids was that no
one should be touching their private parts except themselves, mom,
dad, or the doctor. When I would hear something in the news along the
lines of child missing or child being molested, I would take that as a
reminder to ask my kids, "Who can touch your private areas?" And all
three, including my 4 year old repeat what I have told them.

I have told them other things as well, including the former in this
post. And I always tell them, they can come to me for anything.

I know my kids well and my middle would be the most frightened with
regards to *stranger awareness*. So with her I speak clearly, but a
little more tenderly.

And, of course, we have went over the how to get out of a situation
you are uncomfortable or frightened of. First being call attention by
screaming your bloody head off.

I hope this doesn't sound like I spend my days frightening my kids.
That is far from the truth. But again, it is better to have them
aware then out there with no clue a'tal.

VIckie