An interesting (potty-training related) phenomenon

My daughter has been day-trained for about 4 months now, but it looked like
night-training was still a long way off--her morning diapers were always
*very* wet. A few weeks ago, however, I decided to switch her from regular
diapers at night to pull-ups because the diapers I was using for both her
and Vernon were getting a bit snug on her. Well, she didn't like the
pull-ups at all. I'm not exactly sure why, although I suspect that it was
partly that they didn't hold urine quite as well as the diapers and she felt
"wetter" in them when she got up in the morning.

In any event, while we were on vacation, she decided she didn't want to wear
a "panty diaper" to bed any more. I flatly refused to let her wear any of
Vernon's diapers after having spent good money on the pull-ups that fit her.
So she said she'd rather wear a panty. And she has been dry at night with
one exception ever since (about 10 days now).

What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under the
impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology and neurology
and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be. It seems, however,
that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night and is.

Comments?

--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [17mo] mom)
"Nobody died when Clinton lied." -- freeway sign

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"They walk with an unsteady, shambling gate." -- Article in the San Diego
Union Tribune

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Circe wrote:

What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under
the impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology
and neurology and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be.
It seems, however, that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night
and is.

Comments?

I think it is what I'm going to refer to as the "Hunter and Aurora"
phenomenon. It works like this

*I* will decide. You will not bribe me into deciding. I am not competitive
and could care less what every other child I know does. I will do it my way
until I see fit to change. This generally means that I will do whatever
amounts to the least amount of work for myself. I may decide to do more
work, but only when the least amount of work impacts my life so negatively
that I can see the scale tip in favor of doing more work. However, if you
seem to happy about my decision, I may just put up with my discomfort for a
little while longer...just because I can :-)

I figure this phenomenon will actually serve them well when they get a
little older. Peer pressue will not phase them :-)
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

"Nikki" wrote in message news:3f3a5ec5_3@newsfeed...
Circe wrote:
What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under
the impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology
and neurology and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be.
It seems, however, that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night
and is.

Comments?

I think it is what I'm going to refer to as the "Hunter and Aurora"
phenomenon.

LOL! I'm glad *someone* else out there has a kid like her.

*I* will decide. You will not bribe me into deciding. I am not
competitive
and could care less what every other child I know does. I will do it my
way
until I see fit to change. This generally means that I will do whatever
amounts to the least amount of work for myself. I may decide to do more
work, but only when the least amount of work impacts my life so negatively
that I can see the scale tip in favor of doing more work. However, if you
seem to happy about my decision, I may just put up with my discomfort for
a
little while longer...just because I can :-)

I figure this phenomenon will actually serve them well when they get a
little older. Peer pressue will not phase them :-)

Oh, yeah! It's a hassle when you can't get them to do what YOU want just to
please you, but it's nice to know they probably won't do everything their
friends want just to please THEM.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [17mo] mom)
"Nobody died when Clinton lied." -- freeway sign

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"They walk with an unsteady, shambling gate." -- Article in the San Diego
Union Tribune

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Circe wrote and I snipped:

My daughter has been day-trained for about 4 months now, but it looked like
night-training was still a long way off--her morning diapers were always
*very* wet. A few weeks ago, however,
So she said she'd rather wear a panty. And she has been dry at night with
one exception ever since (about 10 days now).

What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under the
impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology and neurology
and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be. It seems, however,
that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night and is.

Could it be that she was dry overnight in the diaper, but wet it as she
was waking up, stretching, etc.? I wondered about that with my DD. If
she was not wetting during the night, but just before she actually got
out of bed, it could be her "choice" to use the toilet instead.

Make sense?
-Patty, mom to Corinne [Mar-98] and Nathan [May-00]
and stepmom to Victoria [Apr-90]

What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under the
impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology and neurology
and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be. It seems, however,
that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night and is.

Comments?

My guess is she was actually wetting the diaper upon waking up, first thing in
the morning while still drowsy. She was physiologically capable of staying dry
during the night, but as long as she had a diaper on, she didn't have to get up
and use the potty as soon as she woke up. (Wouldn't *you* stay in bed a little
longer if you didn't have to get up to pee? ;-) )

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs

"Circe" wrote in message news:fCN_a.10722$2g.199@fed1read05...
snip

What I find interesting about this is that I have always been under the
impression that night-time dryness is a function of physiology and neurology
and that it's not something a child can *choose* to be. It seems, however,
that my daughter *has* chosen to be dry at night and is.


I have heard the same thing too, but my oldest made a similar choice.
He had been day trained for about 8 months, but was still waking up
very wet every morning. We didn't even try to get him to go dry at
night. Well, one night he had a babysitter and told her that he
didn't wear diapers to bed anymore. She believed him and put him to
bed in his underwear. Imagine our surprise when he woke up the next
morning completely dry. He has been dry ever since - not a single
accident.

Our second son has made the same decision several times and it has
never worked. He still soaks everything and he's 5 ½. We figure it
will happen eventually.

I guess it works for some, but not others.

~ Sher

P. G. Chavez wrote:


Could it be that she was dry overnight in the diaper, but wet it as she
was waking up, stretching, etc.? I wondered about that with my DD. If
she was not wetting during the night, but just before she actually got
out of bed, it could be her "choice" to use the toilet instead.


I think this might well be it. I check in the middle
of the night to have some sense of when they're wetting.
They obviously have a choice about wetting in the morning
after they wake, but not so much afterwards.

Best wishes,
Ericka

wrote:

Absolutely. You may refer to this as the "Hunter and
Aurora and Adrian" phenomenon--and you're right that peer
pressure has little meaning for kids like this.

Yeah -- but if they personally decide that what their peers are suggesting
sounds like fun, then watch out! I know plenty of rampant individualists who've
gotten into drug trouble and the like.

--Helen

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Nikki wrote:

I think it is what I'm going to refer to as the "Hunter and Aurora"
phenomenon. It works like this

*I* will decide. You will not bribe me into deciding. I am not competitive
and could care less what every other child I know does. I will do it my way
until I see fit to change. This generally means that I will do whatever
amounts to the least amount of work for myself. I may decide to do more
work, but only when the least amount of work impacts my life so negatively
that I can see the scale tip in favor of doing more work. However, if you
seem to happy about my decision, I may just put up with my discomfort for a
little while longer...just because I can :-)

I figure this phenomenon will actually serve them well when they get a
little older. Peer pressue will not phase them :-)

Absolutely. You may refer to this as the "Hunter and
Aurora and Adrian" phenomenon--and you're right that peer
pressure has little meaning for kids like this.

Best wishes,
Ericka
--------------
Sounds like me, except I never was abusively potty-trained. Everyone
on here knows MY stubbornness.

With our kids, who were the same, mostly because we DIDN'T abuse or
try to control them (so they responded like adults against fascism),
we simply asked them what they wanted to do and did that. They got to
try diapers till they got a bad rash a few times, that hurt, and
then they were more amenable to learning, and then we simply followed
what they wanted to try, and they trained themselves. Being able to
watch us use the toilet probably helped, as I know few kids get to
see what they're supposed to learn that way, and they both were
self-trained by about 2 and a few months. They were a little bit
physically advanced in their skills, however, so it could take a
little longer for most or some others.

Abusive potty-training is where you don't ask the child what they
want. Potty-learning is where you ask them what they want to try
and JUST DO THAT, making suggestions of course, but letting THEM decide
everything at each step!!
Steve

H Schinske wrote:

wrote:

Absolutely. You may refer to this as the "Hunter and
Aurora and Adrian" phenomenon--and you're right that peer
pressure has little meaning for kids like this.

Yeah -- but if they personally decide that what their peers are suggesting
sounds like fun, then watch out! I know plenty of rampant individualists who've
gotten into drug trouble and the like.

--Helen
-------------
Sure, but they're the first ones to get out of it too, and on their
own just because they want to. These are the people who can stop
habits almost at will, they keep themselves on such a short leash.
They have rigid personal ethics, but usually not yours.
Steve