A devious plot...

"Werebat" wrote in message ...
Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message
..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months
old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation.
CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as
time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc.
It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon
amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to
pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank
can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments
then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work
(they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I
otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's
exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of
her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by
greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a
job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over
a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE
to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to
make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare.
Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career,
you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are
illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways.
You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Oh no, I hardly don't think you should shut up and pay. I don't think 2
wrongs make a right though. You doing something illegal is NOT going to make
a change in the system. What will? Heck if I know, ask the others here that
are doing stuff.

T

"Werebat" wrote in message ...
Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message
..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months
old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation.
CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as
time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc.
It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon
amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to
pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank
can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments
then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work
(they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I
otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's
exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of
her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by
greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a
job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over
a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE
to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to
make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare.
Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career,
you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are
illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways.
You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Oh no, I hardly don't think you should shut up and pay. I don't think 2
wrongs make a right though. You doing something illegal is NOT going to make
a change in the system. What will? Heck if I know, ask the others here that
are doing stuff.

T

"Werebat" wrote in message ...
Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message
..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months
old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation.
CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as
time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc.
It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon
amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to
pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank
can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments
then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work
(they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I
otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's
exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of
her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by
greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a
job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over
a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE
to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to
make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare.
Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career,
you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are
illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways.
You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Oh no, I hardly don't think you should shut up and pay. I don't think 2
wrongs make a right though. You doing something illegal is NOT going to make
a change in the system. What will? Heck if I know, ask the others here that
are doing stuff.

T

Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message ..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation. CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc. It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work (they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare. Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career, you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways. You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message ..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation. CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc. It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work (they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare. Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career, you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways. You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message ..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation. CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc. It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work (they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare. Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career, you
might end up being a millionaire.

Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex? I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are illegal.
Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways. You
already know the system isn't for the man.

T

Yeah, I know, just shut up and pay...

fleecedlosershrug

"Whatareyagonnado?"

- Ron ^*^

Joe_College wrote:

What's going to happen (at the LEAST) is once you go on welfare and use
that child as the dependent, a case will open with DCSE (IF you meet
eligibility requirement and get approved) and they will see that the child
is active on another case. They are supposed to close the existing case.
They may call the mother and find out WHEN the child left her custody so
that the accounting will be correct. She will tell them that you are a
lying fool, the child never left her custody. If you had gotten approved,
you will be caught up in welfare fraud, as you already suspected. As far
as you getting welfare and working, you may not meet the eligibility
requirements, but if you do, you could get caught. If you already believe
you will get caught (just because you are a man) then why walk through
hell with gasoline underwear? Two wrongs don't make a right and sure
doesn't pay little Werebat Jr's Child Support. If you are thinking about
getting welfare some other way, it won't stop your child support from
charging, it just stops DCSE from enforcing it. Once you're off welfare,
you'll have a nice debt to pay. PLAY NOW, SUFFER LATER...

Ah, Joe.

You see she isn't on welfare anymore. As I explained, she dropped it
like a hot potato once it became clear that she was going to be getting
more money from me than what welfare would be giving her, and CSE started
keeping more than their fair share of said money. She had to drop
welfare to get CSE out of the loop (not that they have actually gotten
themselves out of the loop, mind you -- but that's another matter).

So... If I applied, and won (remember I am listed as a custodial parent
on the divorce decree), they wouldn't have an existing order to remark
on.

Once I got on welfare I would have no intention of spending the money
like a fool. It would sit in an account until I had no further need of
being on welfare (i.e. once the CS obligation for my ex was set by
aggressive CSE lawyers), then I would drop welfare. Being a responsible
citizen, I would then promptly call the welfare department, inform them
that there had been an error, and pay back all of the money they had
given me. My ex didn't even do them THAT courtesy when she committed her
fraud, and they haven't lifted a finger against her...

I do believe that the court system is sexist, but as I said, I think CSE
is much more fundamentally greedy than fundamentally sexist. I also have
a feeling that they are quite in cahoots with the family court system and
would have a much greater chance of extracting the maximum amount allowed
from my ex than I would on my own. Besides, they're "free"!

Of course once I dropped welfare, my ex would be free to go on welfare
and start the dance all over again. I wonder how long the state would
allow that to go on? Hell, I might do it just to see what happens.

- Ron ^*^

Joe_College wrote:

What's going to happen (at the LEAST) is once you go on welfare and use
that child as the dependent, a case will open with DCSE (IF you meet
eligibility requirement and get approved) and they will see that the child
is active on another case. They are supposed to close the existing case.
They may call the mother and find out WHEN the child left her custody so
that the accounting will be correct. She will tell them that you are a
lying fool, the child never left her custody. If you had gotten approved,
you will be caught up in welfare fraud, as you already suspected. As far
as you getting welfare and working, you may not meet the eligibility
requirements, but if you do, you could get caught. If you already believe
you will get caught (just because you are a man) then why walk through
hell with gasoline underwear? Two wrongs don't make a right and sure
doesn't pay little Werebat Jr's Child Support. If you are thinking about
getting welfare some other way, it won't stop your child support from
charging, it just stops DCSE from enforcing it. Once you're off welfare,
you'll have a nice debt to pay. PLAY NOW, SUFFER LATER...

Ah, Joe.

You see she isn't on welfare anymore. As I explained, she dropped it
like a hot potato once it became clear that she was going to be getting
more money from me than what welfare would be giving her, and CSE started
keeping more than their fair share of said money. She had to drop
welfare to get CSE out of the loop (not that they have actually gotten
themselves out of the loop, mind you -- but that's another matter).

So... If I applied, and won (remember I am listed as a custodial parent
on the divorce decree), they wouldn't have an existing order to remark
on.

Once I got on welfare I would have no intention of spending the money
like a fool. It would sit in an account until I had no further need of
being on welfare (i.e. once the CS obligation for my ex was set by
aggressive CSE lawyers), then I would drop welfare. Being a responsible
citizen, I would then promptly call the welfare department, inform them
that there had been an error, and pay back all of the money they had
given me. My ex didn't even do them THAT courtesy when she committed her
fraud, and they haven't lifted a finger against her...

I do believe that the court system is sexist, but as I said, I think CSE
is much more fundamentally greedy than fundamentally sexist. I also have
a feeling that they are quite in cahoots with the family court system and
would have a much greater chance of extracting the maximum amount allowed
from my ex than I would on my own. Besides, they're "free"!

Of course once I dropped welfare, my ex would be free to go on welfare
and start the dance all over again. I wonder how long the state would
allow that to go on? Hell, I might do it just to see what happens.

- Ron ^*^

Joe_College wrote:

What's going to happen (at the LEAST) is once you go on welfare and use
that child as the dependent, a case will open with DCSE (IF you meet
eligibility requirement and get approved) and they will see that the child
is active on another case. They are supposed to close the existing case.
They may call the mother and find out WHEN the child left her custody so
that the accounting will be correct. She will tell them that you are a
lying fool, the child never left her custody. If you had gotten approved,
you will be caught up in welfare fraud, as you already suspected. As far
as you getting welfare and working, you may not meet the eligibility
requirements, but if you do, you could get caught. If you already believe
you will get caught (just because you are a man) then why walk through
hell with gasoline underwear? Two wrongs don't make a right and sure
doesn't pay little Werebat Jr's Child Support. If you are thinking about
getting welfare some other way, it won't stop your child support from
charging, it just stops DCSE from enforcing it. Once you're off welfare,
you'll have a nice debt to pay. PLAY NOW, SUFFER LATER...

Ah, Joe.

You see she isn't on welfare anymore. As I explained, she dropped it
like a hot potato once it became clear that she was going to be getting
more money from me than what welfare would be giving her, and CSE started
keeping more than their fair share of said money. She had to drop
welfare to get CSE out of the loop (not that they have actually gotten
themselves out of the loop, mind you -- but that's another matter).

So... If I applied, and won (remember I am listed as a custodial parent
on the divorce decree), they wouldn't have an existing order to remark
on.

Once I got on welfare I would have no intention of spending the money
like a fool. It would sit in an account until I had no further need of
being on welfare (i.e. once the CS obligation for my ex was set by
aggressive CSE lawyers), then I would drop welfare. Being a responsible
citizen, I would then promptly call the welfare department, inform them
that there had been an error, and pay back all of the money they had
given me. My ex didn't even do them THAT courtesy when she committed her
fraud, and they haven't lifted a finger against her...

I do believe that the court system is sexist, but as I said, I think CSE
is much more fundamentally greedy than fundamentally sexist. I also have
a feeling that they are quite in cahoots with the family court system and
would have a much greater chance of extracting the maximum amount allowed
from my ex than I would on my own. Besides, they're "free"!

Of course once I dropped welfare, my ex would be free to go on welfare
and start the dance all over again. I wonder how long the state would
allow that to go on? Hell, I might do it just to see what happens.

- Ron ^*^

Tiffany wrote:

"Werebat" wrote in message ..
I was thinking today.

This will be easier to follow if you know my story.

Nutshell version: My ex and I split when our son was about 6 months old.
We agreed in mediation to joint physical and legal custody. We share
time with him 50/50 (although this is complicated a bit as my parents
have him one day a week).

My ex got on welfare, which introduced the State into the situation. CSE
pulled me into court and demanded the maximum amount of CS they could,
about three times what we had agreed to in the original divorce. They
did some flim-flam type CSE math tricks to "prove" that this was
"reasonable". For example, the time my parents had him counted as time
my ex had him... 30% of his total time was taken from me and given to
her because "that's what most NCPs have their kids for anyway", etc. It
was made clear to both of us that this is likely what the judge would
agree to.

My ex agreed to drop welfare and settle on a mutually agreed upon amount
of money, this being a bit higher than 50% of the amount quoted by CSE
(she knew she had much more leverage at that point). I still have to pay
her about $200 above and beyond that amount to help her "repay" loans
what she will never repay because she is on disability and the bank can't
get blood from a stone. We both know that if I stop these payments then
she can just get back on welfare and let CSE do its dirty work (they'll
end up forcing me to pay about the same amount anyway).

I was wondering -- what would happen if *I* were to get on welfare?

She's off it now, so the door is open to me, or would be if I otherwise
fit the requirements. Note that I am also the custodial parent! If I
got on welfare we would have a situation where CSE would step in to...
to do what? To force HER to pay ME? It seems to me that that's exactly
what they would do. She does have SOMETHING to take, in the form of her
disability checks (about $600 per month). Would they just do an
about-face like that and come after her? It seems like it would be a
battle between greed and sexism. While the family court judges may be
primarily sexist, it seems to me that CSE is mainly motivated by greed.
Who would win out in this scenario?

Now the tricky part. What if I got on welfare while still having a job?
Yes, that's welfare fraud, but my ex committed welfare fraud for over a
year and didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist for it. What would
happen if I applied for welfare, won it, set things in motion for CSE to
flip-flop and reverse my obligation to a payment that my ex had to make
to me?

Of course eventually I'd be found out and have to reimburse welfare. Oh
no. I'd just save the extra money from the start and repay them
promptly.

What do you think?

- Ron ^*^

I think if you put this much energy and effort in to your work/career, you
might end up being a millionaire.

No... But my ex might.


Why do you want to resort to the bad behavior your dislike in your ex?

Well, let me explain.

I'm not really opposed to helping support my son, but I am opposed to
paying the full amount of CS when she only has him two nights a week.
That's effectively the way things have worked out because of our joint
physical and legal custody, once welfare and CSE got involved.

Right now I'm paying $400 per month -- about $80 above half of the
"standard" she would get if I were a NCP. However I am also paying a
non-court-ordered $200 per month on top of that, to cover old "living
expense loans". Although that agreement between us held that she would
be paying the loans off with the money (she has not, and will not be
doing so anytime soon), and that I would not have to continue paying if
she were no longer responsible for the loans (she is now effectively no
longer responsible for them, as she is on disability), I continue to pay
them because I know if I stop she will just haul me back to court to have
my CS obligation maxed out, and also because I know they will be paid up
in about a year.

My concern is what happens next year when the loans are paid up. She
will suddenly *need* more money, and the easiest way to get it will be to
hit me up for the full amount of CS. I believe this is unfair since I
have 50/50 joint physical and legal custody.

What does this have to do with my proposed scenario? Well, so far we are
attempting to be civil with each other on the surface. However, that is
a strained arrangement when one party knows the other has him over a
barrel with the snap of two fingers. When there is a disagreement over
parenting strategies, bedtimes, etc., it is difficult for me not to feel
quite disempowered because I know her ability to nearly double my CS
obligation with ease is hanging over my head. I'd like to have the
feeling that I have some sort of recourse, and that I am not stuck like a
bug in her collection. Even if I have no real intention of USING said
recourse.

It's a pretty reasonable thing to want, isn't it?

I live with a wonderful woman who often tells me, "it's only money".
She's right, and I know it -- I don't want for anything right now, and
lead an enjoyable life despite the drain of my lazy, nonproductive ex.
However, sometimes it's the principle of the thing. If someone were to
steal $20 out of your purse, how would that make you feel? The $20 isn't
the issue (presuming that you have the finances to live without it), it's
the violation. That and the feelings of having to smile a lot and act
like something of an Uncle Tom around a person who has an inordinate
amount of power and control over your life.


I
only suggest taking the high road and not doing things you know are illegal.

There's illegal, and there's Illegal. What I propose isn't likely to net
me much trouble at all, after seeing what happened to my ex (who actually
kept the money the state gave her).


Chances are they won't go after her very hard for any support anyways. You
already know the system isn't for the man.

"They" in this case would be CSE, and I believe that CSE's inherent greed
and sense of the bottom line would very much impel them to go after her
for every penny they could and then some. As I said before, they are
motivated by profit much more than they are motivated by sexual
prejudice.

- Ron ^*^