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The art of tough love: 71 percent of people in the United Statesapprove of spanking their children.
James V. Lee of Richardson: The art of tough love http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcont...1.43dd885.html 07:48 AM CDT on Friday, June 15, 2007 The results of the annual General Social Survey conducted by the National Opinion Research Center show that about 71 percent of people in the United States approve of spanking their children. Although this method of discipline has received high approval ratings all the way back to King Solomon, about 29 percent of people in our permissive society condemn spanking for any cause. I suspect that those who are opposed to spanking relate it to child abuse. Having been on the receiving end of beatings from enraged relatives, I understand and oppose such treatment. But all of us have witnessed parents in the mall who seemingly were oblivious to their screaming child, who had been denied some trinket. Those of us who grew up with corporal punishment being the norm know that about two firm swats to the backside of the screamer usually results in sniffling silence. I sometimes wonder if parents ignore such children with the expectation that they will eventually understand the futility of throwing a fit, or whether they are intimidated by the 29 percent who oppose spanking and who might alert Child Protective Services if they saw a kid being swatted. I have heard of a few cases of people who have never spanked anybody. Assuming all those children grew up to be law-abiding adults, I congratulate them with a fervent wish that such were the universal norm. Effective discipline requires setting the rules or conditions that include some kind of firm enforcement by clearly understood consequences, which may or may not include spanking. Both of my grown children received spankings from both parents when they were children. When I asked my daughter if they did any good, she replied, "Well, I think some of it was good, but I recall some whippings that I think were clearly over the top. But that's the way it goes. Parents aren't perfect." Obviously, she knows how to dispense parental remorse. Of course, spanking is not the only way of expressing tough love, and it only works up to a certain age anyway. Methods of tough love are limited only by the imagination of adults in authority. While I was teaching in high school, a star basketball player failing my economics course came to me with tears in his eyes begging me to adjust his grade so he could play in the upcoming game. I kindly, but firmly, responded, "Don't ever put yourself at the mercy of a schoolteacher, or for that matter, don't ever put yourself at the mercy of any other human being. You do what's expected of you, what's required of you, and then you can command whatever privileges to which you're entitled." Sitting out the game didn't hurt him and may have taught him a valuable lesson. The last I heard of him, he was flying helicopters for the Army. Discipline delayed can result in discipline distress. During my years of teaching aboard Navy ships, I met a young sailor who credited the Navy with keeping him out of trouble. As a 15-year-old ruffian of immature judgment, he thought he was tough enough to take on his dad, a U.S. Navy Seal. After the short fight ended in full view of cheering neighbors, my young friend required hospitalization and wore one arm in a sling for a while. His contribution to the fight was to vomit on his father. While his mother and younger brother took him to the hospital, his dad went out for a beer. They've had a good father/son relationship ever since. Children who start out rebellious to parental authority don't always need the trauma of mortal combat to shape up. Sometimes a wayward offspring, like the Biblical prodigal son, just has to hit bottom in some figurative pigsty before coming to his senses. Upon returning home, he needs the welcoming arms of a father and mother who never gave up on him. Even though parents may accept the admonition in Proverbs 22:6 to "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it," they don't always succeed, either with or without spankings. Because parental love may obscure the defects in character that are clearly evident to society at large, often, whenever a criminal's behavior finally catches up with him, somewhere there are parents second-guessing themselves, "Were we too permissive, or were we too strict, and did we apply any of it with love?" If life had only a rewind button. James V. Lee of Richardson is a Voices of Collin County volunteer columnist who retired from teaching aboard Navy ships and has written "Nine Years In The Saddle" and other works. His Web site is www.saladopress.com. CURRENTLY CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES VIOLATES MORE CIVIL RIGHTS ON A DAILY BASIS THEN ALL OTHER AGENCIES COMBINED INCLUDING THE NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY/CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY WIRETAPPING PROGRAM.... CPS Does not protect children... It is sickening how many children are subject to abuse, neglect and even killed at the hands of Child Protective Services. every parent should read this .pdf from connecticut dcf watch... http://www.connecticutdcfwatch.com/8x11.pdf http://www.connecticutdcfwatch.com Number of Cases per 100,000 children in the US These numbers come from The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect in Washington. (NCCAN) Recent numbers have increased significantly for CPS *Perpetrators of Maltreatment* Physical Abuse CPS 160, Parents 59 Sexual Abuse CPS 112, Parents 13 Neglect CPS 410, Parents 241 Medical Neglect CPS 14 Parents 12 Fatalities CPS 6.4, Parents 1.5 Imagine that, 6.4 children die at the hands of the very agencies that are supposed to protect them and only 1.5 at the hands of parents per 100,000 children. CPS perpetrates more abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse and kills more children then parents in the United States. If the citizens of this country hold CPS to the same standards that they hold parents too. No judge should ever put another child in the hands of ANY government agency because CPS nationwide is guilty of more harm and death than any human being combined. CPS nationwide is guilty of more human rights violations and deaths of children then the homes from which they were removed. When are the judges going to wake up and see that they are sending children to their death and a life of abuse when children are removed from safe homes based on the mere opinion of a bunch of social workers. BE SURE TO FIND OUT WHERE YOUR CANDIDATES STANDS ON THE ISSUE OF REFORMING OR ABOLISHING CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ("MAKE YOUR CANDIDATES TAKE A STAND ON THIS ISSUE.") THEN REMEMBER TO VOTE ACCORDINGLY IF THEY ARE "FAMILY UNFRIENDLY" IN THE NEXT ELECTION... |
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