PND and new moms

Hello all...

I am posting this in that I will hope that it will help some of the
woman here.

As I have mentioned in another post, I have post natal depression
(PND). I had PND with baby #1. I got treatment and medication, and I
was fine. I was only depression -- never suicidal. Baby #2 came
along, and I could feel the PND coming. I sought help, and I received
medication. The medication was not the right one for me, and I sank
deeper into depression.

I became suicidal. I rationally planned my own death, including how
and when I would do it. I just woke up when the baby cried. I feed
him, and I planned my death. The next morning I told my husband. The
way I was feeling was terrifying because I was so calm about it. I
never wanted to harm my children, though.

It took me a week to see my doctor. My doctor took it very seriously,
and he got a crisis team involved. (I am on the waiting list for a
mother-baby bed in a psych post natal ward.) They changed my
medication. I am being checked on every other day by my GP and my
crisis team. The support I am receiving is amazing.

I was examined by a psychiatrist and a social worker, as well as my
GP. It was terrifying to do through all the examinations, but it was
a lot less scary than the thoughts in my own head. I was deemed to
have PND, and I needed treatment. I am now getting that treatment.

This was a scary experience for me and those who love me. My husband
is sometimes afraid to leave me alone with the baby while he goes out
to run errands. My MIL and mother call me almost every day to talk
and make sure I am okay. Some of my friends don't know what to say to
me or how to act, but it is okay. They have never been through it,
and just knowing they care is enough.

For those who are suffering from depression or they think they might
be suicidal or that they are having thoughts of hurting their
children, I urge you to seek help NOW. Do not wait for it to go away.
You will need help to get through this. They will not take your
children away from you. They will not lock you away in a psych ward
(you can voluntarily go into one though).

You may or may not need medication. However, you will get support
from people who can give you the help you need. Just admitting that
there might be a problem will help you because you will have help to
share the load. Do not suffer alone.

If anyone wants to talk to me about this or they need help in finding
help, please email me. My main email account is


--
Daye
Momma to Jayan and Leopold
See Jayan and Leo: http://www.aloofhosting.com/jayleo/
Updated 28 Feb 2004

Just wanted to tell you that I hope things are ok. You are very brave.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 3 years
Christopher, 11 months

(((((Daye)))))
I am so sorry that PND caught up with you again. Being "normally" depressed
and having been suicidal I know very well how you are feeling.
It is so nice to hear that you have such amazing support. I really think it
makes a lot of difference.
I hope you can get your place in the hospital very soon and that your
depression goes away ASAP.
I really admire you for talking about it and I think you gave wonderful
advice.
Seeking help and accepting it is the first step to recovery.

Gentle hugs and pampering vibes to you and your family.

--
Love

Nicky

Proud mamma to Alexandra (03/22/2004)

Alexandra's birth announcement

Fur Babies

(snip)

Daye,
I'm so glad that you are getting the help that you need. As a social
worker, I know how important early intervention is, and it sounds like you
are getting exactly that. I have never heard of a mother/baby bed or a PND
specific ward: if we have them in the US, they are likely rare and not open
to Medicaid patients (our system of health insurance for low-income
families). I'm so impressed Australia takes this problem so seriously and
has those resources. I think I'll do some research on this model for my own
info.
Your description of how quickly the suicidal impulses came on will hopefully
help someone else who thinks they may have a problem with PND, but puts off
seeing their Dr. Suicidality can happen very fast, and has nothing to do
with whether or not you are "strong willed" or "too smart". At the time, it
can seem like the strongest and smartest thing to do, so it's best to seek
help before you get into that stage.

Best of luck to you and your family,
Amy

Daye, thank you for sharing that with us....from what I understand a lot
of ppl hide, well =91=91try=92=92=A0to hide it,,,, it must be awful.....

Is a person who suffers occasional depression more likely ot have
PND????
than someone who never suffers depression al all?

Maybe your post will make ppl be more open to talk about this, and
talking about this, and like you said admitting there is a problem helps
too...

take care.....(((((((Daye)))))))

"Daye" wrote in message
...
Hello all...

I am posting this in that I will hope that it will help some of the
woman here.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Daye. I come from a long line
of bi-polar, suicidal people. Mental illness is nothing to keep quiet
about. When it is ignored, people can die. My mother did, as did two of my
grandparents, and there is a brother on the edge all the time.
It is not shameful or degrading. It is a condition that needs to be taken
seriously.
I'm glad to see that you are getting help. I think the fact that you are
able to share it with all of us is a sign that you will be able to attack
this problem effectively.
Sending good thoughts to ease your burdens,
Alexis

says...
Hello all...

I am posting this in that I will hope that it will help some of the
woman here.

As I have mentioned in another post, I have post natal depression
(PND). I had PND with baby #1. I got treatment and medication, and I
was fine. I was only depression -- never suicidal. Baby #2 came
along, and I could feel the PND coming. I sought help, and I received
medication. The medication was not the right one for me, and I sank
deeper into depression.

snip

How brave and caring of you to share, Daye.
You are one remarkable woman.

Best of luck in your continued treatment and further happiness.

xx

"Daye" wrote in message
...
Hello all...

I am posting this in that I will hope that it will help some of the
woman here.

As I have mentioned in another post, I have post natal depression
(PND). I had PND with baby #1. I got treatment and medication, and I
was fine. I was only depression -- never suicidal. Baby #2 came
along, and I could feel the PND coming. I sought help, and I received
medication. The medication was not the right one for me, and I sank
deeper into depression.
snip

((((((((Daye)))))))
I hadn't realised you were going through this. I've never had depression
(of any clinical sort) so I can only imagine what it does to you.
I am glad that you are receiving help and thank you for posting your story
so to help others.
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

It took me a week to see my doctor. My doctor took it very seriously,
and he got a crisis team involved. (I am on the waiting list for a
mother-baby bed in a psych post natal ward.) They changed my
medication. I am being checked on every other day by my GP and my
crisis team. The support I am receiving is amazing.

Hi Daye,

Sorry to hear how things are, I was just wondering that if you are in a
condition to be able to wait for a bed, whether you really need it? I did
have a stay in hospital, it was a necessary and urgent admission, however
I felt that hospital was a hinderance not a help. I was readmitted later,
voluntarily, though it would have been forced had had not gone
voluntarily, I spent the whole time negotiating my discharge! There was
nothing that they did on the ward that helped, the only thing was to
provide a safe place, but with help we could do that at home. I've spent a
long time recovering from the upset of the hospital stays and I wouldn't
want someone else to go through that.

Anne

I am posting this in that I will hope that it will help some of the
woman here.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for posting this. It was a very
selfless, brave thing to do. Best wishes for your swift recovery -
sounds like you are on your way.