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#11
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Feel like giving this baby up for adoption, why shouldn't I? Sorry, long.
I'm just wondering how the OP is doing since she posted this thread?!
I hope that you have taken the others' advice in seeking some help. I understand how stressful all this must be on you, we all have stress in our lives, some worse than others. I have been stressed to my max with this pregnancy and a troubled relationship with my husband and two other young children hasn't helped matters. But the thing to remember when you are feeling like you are at your wits end with life and all it throws at you is that you need to talk to someone about it. Weather it be a doctor, a friend, your husband, or even an unknown pen- pal - you just have to talk! Nothing good comes from holding these thoughts and emotions inside. While my situation is not the same as yours, I do sympathize with you... I have no close friends and while I have plenty of family around me they are not supportive at all - we are more like strangers than family. I have contemplated other options in regards to this pregnancy at which point I realized that it was time for me to start talking to someone else... when I starting thinking about things that before would never have been an option for me then I knew that I was heading down a road that would only cause me more distress! I have questioned my parenting ability, and still do some days, as I suffer from depression and I can lose my temper and start yelling and what not... I feel like the scum of the Earth when I do - then I wonder if I'm like this with only two how will I deal with three? The key is getting support, and if you don't have family and friends to offer that then you need to get it else where. If you and your husband are not happy then its time to just walk away, coming from a broken home I can tell you that parents staying together for the "sake" of the children never works the way the parents think it will... children can pick up on these things, people don't give them enough credit. The point is that you are clearly stressed and I would even go as far as saying depressed and lacking confidence in yourself... you need to do something to start a healing process. Making a huge decision such as adoption at this point is not the answer. You need to start counseling and getting all of this off your chest, even if you just go yourself... then over the next x-number of months discuss the adoption thing with your counselor, but only after you get other things out. My fear for you is that you are in the middle of pre-natal depression which will just toss you down a rough road of post-natal depression, which will only be worse by giving your baby up without proper counseling first. And a note to the last two posters... I can't get over the lack of tact you show here. It doesn't take much education, or common sense even, to see that the poster is in the midst of a crisis, and you are only feeding into it by your posts. I'm sorry that you are unable to have your own biological child and that the adoption process is so long and hard... I have no doubt that it is heartbreaking to go year after year and feel that you are no closer to your dream, but this isn't the way. What would you like to happen? Do you hope that the OP will give you her child in the mind frame that she is in only to come looking for you in a year or two to get her baby back? It is one thing for a woman to find out that she is pregnant and know 100% from the start that she does not want the child... but this situation is not it! -Jen |
#12
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Feel like giving this baby up for adoption, why shouldn't I? Sorry, long.
I do not thing that there is anything wrong with how you are feeling.
Personally, I think that if your husband does wishes you to have an abortion, what kind of life would he be giving the child? It is not the childs fault on how anyone feels, it is just how they feel. I understand that your other daughter doesn't quite understand why you are thinking the way you are. You are thinking for what is in the best intrest of the child. There really isn't anything that you can say to a 5 year old that would help them understand at this age. My husband and I just went through IVF, and it was unsuccessful. We have looked into adopting, and we do want to adopt an infant, but agencies seem to make it so hard. Please think this through all the way, before you make any decisions. If you do keep the baby, please try not to let your husband treat the baby like a mistake, or no wanted you know. Take some time, try and sit down with your husband and discuss things, find out why he is feeling the way he is. I do wish you all the luck in the world, and hope you feel you make the right decision, for your family. |
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