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No Wrap Shower



 
 
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  #1  
Old June 19th 07, 01:04 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
HELP!!
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3
Default No Wrap Shower

We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped? We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!

  #2  
Old June 19th 07, 01:32 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Ericka Kammerer
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Posts: 2,293
Default No Wrap Shower

HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?


No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!


Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #3  
Old June 19th 07, 01:48 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
HELP!!
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3
Default No Wrap Shower

Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

On Jun 19, 8:32 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?


No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.


We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!


Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka



  #4  
Old June 19th 07, 02:30 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
betsy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 234
Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 19, 5:48 am, HELP!! wrote:
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.


It may be too late for this, but with a shower this large, you are
likely to end up with way too much baby stuff. Could it be turned
into a baby advice shower? Each guest writes a baby tip on a 3x5
notecard. Guests who wanted to could also bring gifts.

--Betsy

  #5  
Old June 19th 07, 03:05 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Sarah Vaughan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 443
Default No Wrap Shower

HELP!! wrote:
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.


I realise this is of no actual help to you, but... good heavens, how
many close friends do you have? 20 aunts and uncles and 60+ first
cousins still adds up to 20 short of 100+, so, if my arithmetic is
correct, that means your very trimmed-down list of close friends still
includes an average of 10 people each!


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

  #6  
Old June 19th 07, 04:44 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
beyond the pale
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 67
Default No Wrap Shower

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote
Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.


I agree. I wish more people used some etiquette and manners in the execution
of their baby showers. The ONLY way I know of to have a "no wrap" shower is
for the *people who are throwing it and totally not related to the parents
to be* to throw it as that type of shower, and I've never heard of that. But
I suppose it's possible if it's thrown as a No Wrap Shower, similar to other
themed showers people have like Lingerie Showers for weddings.

Personally, I think it's tacky even if it's friends who do all the throwing,
for someone to have extremely huge showers OR mulitple showers. I mean, it's
one thing to have a shower in each "circle" such as shower thrown by
coworkers and then another thrown by friends which family will attend.

But let me introduce you to my sister in law. She had 5, count them, 5
showers for her FIRST baby and some people were invited to 3 or 4 of those
showers. SOOOO tacky to invite the same person to several showers to where
they feel obligated to bring gift after gift after gift! My SIL planned her
showers and put friends up to throwing them for her. Not only that but she
dictated themes and this is how people got invited to 3-4 showers- she
decided to have a "Baby Gear Shower", then a separate "Clothing Shower" and
then a "DIaper Shower" and a "Toy Shower"! She might as well just have sent
cards to everyone and said "Hey, you have to buy me an outfit, a toy, a baby
gear item, and a bag of diapers- not just one gift, but one of each". SOme
people grudgingly attended one or two but a lot of people did not. In
addition, she had someone throw her a shower at a large church where she
didn't know half the people but they were invited due to her being a
member's friend. She received all-themed gifts at this shower and I remember
her counting her outfits and she had something like 80 baby outfits from
just this one shower. The whole family talked about her, like "Oink oink!!"
Because she had shower, after shower, after shower until she reached
everyone she knew- not friends, jyst acquaintances. It was the tackiest
thing I have ever seen. To this day. And she DID put little stipulations on
the guests, no No Wrap specifically, but she did do a lot of dictating as to
exactly what she wanted. Oink indeed.

This isn't the same thing at all, but a girl I used to work with is pregnant
with twins, a boy and a girl, through in vitro. Her sister is throwing her a
shower at work. She has already had one shower and the work one is going to
be just as huge. She went to a store to register, and she filled up the
memory card on the scanner- she had to go back to the service desk and get
an additional scanner because she registered for so much stuff, the scanner
wouldn't take any more. People think this is sort of tacky, too. Her
registry is unbelievable. Everything on the shelf it seems. I know she's
having twins but her sister has kids and has given her a lot of hand me
downs too. Also, when you have twins, you don't need to register for 2 of
everything but she seems to think (well this was SAID) "Why not, since
others are buying it??" So she registered for 2 high chairs ($120 each), 2
bouncy seats, 2 cribs, 2 swings. I told my husband you'd need 2 car seats.
and maybe 2 high chairs would be handy. But you can surely do with one
bouncer and one swing- but one baby in the swing and one in the bouncer,
then swap them later. Etc. I don't know, it just seems like people get tacky
with the showers and this is IMHO. I know it causes a lot of people to avoid
attending more than one showr and I know some people who didn't attend one,
they thought it was "safer" just to send a gift. Sad..

On the shower note...the girl w/ twins' sister had 2 babies a couple of
years apart and had showers at work. Some people at work thought it was
tacky for her to have a shower for a second kid when it had only been 1-2
years since they went in and bought the stroller, carseat, high chair, etc-
she got almost everything she needed from the work shower. People felt like
they had just bought all that stuff, she could have used it again. But I
noticed that she didn't register for the big baby gear, she registered for
diapers, baby wash, wipes, and things like that.Now that I am pregnant with
#2, someone wants to throw me a shower. With #1 I only had ONE shower, and
it was small. I received a lot of helpful things but we also bought a lot of
what we needed ourselves. I saved **everything**- clothes, swing, bouncer,
crib, car seat, stroller. Toys etc. This person really wants to throw me a
little shower again, it would be the same people as last time. It's been
just over 4 years. I am debating if it's rude to "turn down" a shower, and I
am debating if it's rude to let her throw the shower but have her somehow
let people know that we saved everything and will only need some basics and
mostly diapers and wipes. I don't want to dictate my shower, you know? I
thought maybe it's better etiquette to put up a small registry that she can
enclose on the invitations and if people go look, they'll SEE that it's
small, and contains mostly necessities such as diapers.?? Or just let her
throw the shower and say nothing at all and maybe people will get things
like that anyway? My husband still works with these people and he doesn't
want to have another shower thrown for us, he doesn't want for anyone to be
able to comment that it's our 2nd shower. Are 2nd baby showers (meaning
showers for Baby #2) tacky in general? Money is a LOT tighter this time so
if someone did throw us a diaper shower that would help out tons. But I just
don't want to seem like I am trying to GET people to. I don't care if they
don't, so I have also just felt like we can just let people get us gifts if
they want to without them feeling like they have to because of a shower.


  #7  
Old June 19th 07, 05:01 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Jamie Clark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 855
Default No Wrap Shower

Instead of a single shower that you invited a 100 people to, you could have
had 3 showers -- one for dh's side of the family, one for your side of the
family, and one for close friends. That way you would have had about 30
people at each shower, which is still a large number but much more
reasonable.

I agree with Ericka. There is no way to dictate that people not wrap their
presents because it would be more convenient for you. It's like asking them
to self address their own Thank You cards. Heck, why not ask them to write
them too.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

"HELP!!" wrote in message
oups.com...
Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.

On Jun 19, 8:32 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped?


No. Who planned this monstrosity of a shower anyway?
At some point, you've made your bed and you lie in it. I just
don't see any way that you can politely say to people, "All
those gifts you spent your hard earned time and money on are
just too much trouble for us to open, so please don't bother
to wrap them." No matter how you phrase it, that's how it's
likely to come across.

We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.


We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!


Because a shower is the only type of adult party where
guests are required to bring gifts, it confers special obligations
on the guests of honor and on the people who plan the shower
to avoid looking like a greedy gift-grub. That's why people are
not allowed to throw themselves or close relatives showers, shower
guests are supposed to be very close friends, and the gifts are
supposed to be small, almost token gifts. You've stretched
things by having a shower this big, but you still have to act as
if this the gathering of intimate friends it ought to be.
One possibility for the shower is that you plan a set
of activities for the guests so that they're enjoying themselves,
and you gather small groups of guests together throughout the
party and open their gifts. You will be kept busy with the
gift opening, but at least your guests won't be tied down to
it and you'll be able to provide some of that more personal
attention to each guest and the gift they chose for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka





  #8  
Old June 19th 07, 05:01 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,293
Default No Wrap Shower

beyond the pale wrote:

It's been
just over 4 years. I am debating if it's rude to "turn down" a shower, and I
am debating if it's rude to let her throw the shower but have her somehow
let people know that we saved everything and will only need some basics and
mostly diapers and wipes. I don't want to dictate my shower, you know?


It's not rude to turn down an offer to throw a shower. Just
say, "You are so kind to think of me, but I would just be too
embarrassed to put people through that trouble after they'd already
been kind enough to throw a shower for my first. My mother would
have my head on a platter if I accepted your kind offer." Then,
if she continues to press it because she wants to have some sort
of celebration, you can say, "If you really want to do something,
maybe we could just have a little tea or something after the baby's
born so that folks can meet him/her--but please, not a shower where
people feel like they need to bring a gift." Even if you do some
other kind of party, people may still bring gifts, but at least
the gift-giving is not required. What they choose to do is their
own business, so you accept it graciously. If people ask what you
need/want, you can always say that you have everything from the
first time around, so you don't need anything big and really it's
just the consumables that you're saving up for this time.

I
thought maybe it's better etiquette to put up a small registry that she can
enclose on the invitations and if people go look, they'll SEE that it's
small, and contains mostly necessities such as diapers.??


Even with a shower, it's not really proper to enclose
registry information with the invitation.

Or just let her
throw the shower and say nothing at all and maybe people will get things
like that anyway? My husband still works with these people and he doesn't
want to have another shower thrown for us, he doesn't want for anyone to be
able to comment that it's our 2nd shower. Are 2nd baby showers (meaning
showers for Baby #2) tacky in general?


They are not properly done. You can have any other sort of
party to celebrate the arrival of this baby (and guests may well
choose to bring gifts to it), but not properly a shower. People
get all confused because they think that showers are about celebrating
the baby. In fact, they're not. Showers are a party where the
*woman* is "showered" with gifts of small, practical things she
will need as a result of a change in her position (e.g., things
to set up housekeeping as she moves from being single to married,
or things to take care of a baby as she moves from not having
children to having children).
If the goal is to celebrate the baby, you can have a
breakfast, brunch, luncheon, dinner, tea, Christening party,
naming party, welcome home party, pool party, picnic, meet-the-
baby party, or whatever other party you can dream up. Not only
that, but anyone (including the parents) can throw the party,
and they can invite anyone they want and as many or few guests
as they want. None of those parties require folks to bring
gifts, so all you're asking is for them to share your hospitality,
and you can do that anytime you please.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #9  
Old June 19th 07, 05:16 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Jamie Clark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 855
Default No Wrap Shower

"beyond the pale" wrote in message
...

On the shower note...the girl w/ twins' sister had 2 babies a couple of
years apart and had showers at work. Some people at work thought it was
tacky for her to have a shower for a second kid when it had only been 1-2
years since they went in and bought the stroller, carseat, high chair,
etc- she got almost everything she needed from the work shower. People
felt like they had just bought all that stuff, she could have used it
again. But I noticed that she didn't register for the big baby gear, she
registered for diapers, baby wash, wipes, and things like that.Now that I
am pregnant with #2, someone wants to throw me a shower. With #1 I only
had ONE shower, and it was small. I received a lot of helpful things but
we also bought a lot of what we needed ourselves. I saved **everything**-
clothes, swing, bouncer, crib, car seat, stroller. Toys etc. This person
really wants to throw me a little shower again, it would be the same
people as last time. It's been just over 4 years. I am debating if it's
rude to "turn down" a shower, and I am debating if it's rude to let her
throw the shower but have her somehow let people know that we saved
everything and will only need some basics and mostly diapers and wipes. I
don't want to dictate my shower, you know? I thought maybe it's better
etiquette to put up a small registry that she can enclose on the
invitations and if people go look, they'll SEE that it's small, and
contains mostly necessities such as diapers.?? Or just let her throw the
shower and say nothing at all and maybe people will get things like that
anyway? My husband still works with these people and he doesn't want to
have another shower thrown for us, he doesn't want for anyone to be able
to comment that it's our 2nd shower. Are 2nd baby showers (meaning showers
for Baby #2) tacky in general? Money is a LOT tighter this time so if
someone did throw us a diaper shower that would help out tons. But I just
don't want to seem like I am trying to GET people to. I don't care if they
don't, so I have also just felt like we can just let people get us gifts
if they want to without them feeling like they have to because of a
shower.


If your friend wants to throw you a shower, and it would be helpful to you,
then let her do it. Tell her that you have all the big stuff you need, but
would love diapers. She can pass the information on to people who ask,
without it officially being a DIAPER SHOWER. Atlhough even if it was
"advertised" as a diaper shower, to me, that sort of takes the "greedy
greedy greedy" taint off it.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password


  #10  
Old June 19th 07, 06:16 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Sarah Vaughan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 443
Default No Wrap Shower

beyond the pale wrote:
This person really wants to throw me a
little shower again, it would be the same people as last time. It's been
just over 4 years. I am debating if it's rude to "turn down" a shower, and I
am debating if it's rude to let her throw the shower but have her somehow
let people know that we saved everything and will only need some basics and
mostly diapers and wipes. I don't want to dictate my shower, you know?


It's not a choice between having a shower or having nothing. Seems to
me it would be perfectly reasonable to say to her "That's so kind of
you! I don't feel it would be appropriate to have a *shower* again,
since these people brought me gifts for my last shower, but why don't we
have a celebration party for the baby? I would love you to host that."


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

 




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