Review: Scary Movie 3 (*)

SCARY MOVIE 3
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2003 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): *


So how funny do you find the mere sight of a bra barely containing
humongous, fake boobs? How about lots of them? If this is enough to do it
for you, you may find SCARY MOVIE 3 funny. Otherwise, you've got a very
long hour and a half ahead of you.



That's not completely fair, I guess. If you find lots of pratfalls or the
sight of one man throwing up on another humorous, there are lots of
opportunities for you to laugh. Personally, I mainly groaned and stared at
my watch throughout this miserable excuse for a comedy.



The third episode of this hopefully soon to be abandoned series again spoofs
several popular movies, including THE RING, SIGNS and 8 MILE. The movie
opens with Pamela Anderson, as Catholic Schoolgirl #1, complaining that
television transmissions are causing her to lose brain cells. Not that it
matters, but Jenny McCarthy is Catholic Schoolgirl #2.



This PG-13 rated film -- give me a break! -- illustrates everything wrong
with the MPAA's rating system. Sleaze oozes from every celluloid frame. In
a typical scene, Anna Faris plays Cindy Campbell, a mother picking up her
child of about seven from class. Anna and the teacher talk crudely about
sex in front of the kids, and, when one of the pupils throws something, the
teacher screams the F-word back at the little kid. Anna's son makes jokes
with his mom about her period, and, when they get home, a pedophilic
Catholic priest is there to be the boy's babysitter for the night. If this
isn't R-material, for heaven's sakes, what is?



The production is almost devoid of energy, and the editing is so choppy that
it feels like the editor wants to cut away from each embarrassedly bad scene
as quickly as possible. Personally, I recommend cutting away from the movie
itself as quickly as possible.



SCARY MOVIE 3 runs a painfully long 1:30. It is rated PG-13 for "pervasive
crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence and drug references" and
would be acceptable for most teenagers.



The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the
Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and
the Camera Cinemas.



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