A step down...

Hopefully you all remember all the trouble my SS is having (7th grade, SIED
program, not working out). A couple of weeks ago he was suspended from
school again--third time in one month--this time for 5 days for assaulting
one of his teachers. Basically, he was refusing to do what he was told
(flat-out defiance: No, I won't do that, you can't make me), so his teacher
(actually one of the paras in the classroom) told him to gather up his stuff
and go to the office. She was waiting for him by the door, and he was very
angry. On his way out the door he basically body-slammed her, even had to
go out of his way to do it; it's not like she was blocking the door or
anything.

This is a teacher that he *likes.* The AP who called said that he was very
belligerent/defiant at first when he was in her office, then started crying.

So, he was sent home, and suspended for the next 5 days. The AP and SIED
teacher said right away that that was basically IT, he would have to go to
another program since the one he's in now is obviously not restrictive
enough. I mentioned this in my "at wit's end" post--how he was going to be
sent to a "day treatment" program if this did not work out--well, that's
where he's headed.

The people at the school are actually being really good about it. They are
smart enough to recognize that this isn't all voluntary, controllable
behavior on his part. Once he gets mad, or pushed into a corner, that's it,
he completely loses control. So we talked to his teacher, and the AP, the
day it all happened and they said they'd set up an IEP meeting with the
district SPED coordinator to have his placement changed.

That was a week and a half ago. He has Monday off for Veteran's day, so by
the time he goes back to school it will be 2 weeks exactly. And we still
haven't had the meeting to have his placement changed. He went to school
with me for the 5 days he was suspended, then went back to school last
Tuesday. He's not going to any regular classes at all, just sitting in the
SIED classroom all day long. He actually had an OK day on Tuesday, but then
Wednesday morning, had another episode of defiance (and another one of his
stupid stories--he found a pen outside on the ground and insisted to
everybody that it was made of gold, worth $300, he had researched it on the
internet, blah, blah, blah) so he sat in the office all day. Thursday was
his appointment for the psych evaluation, so he was only at school for 2
hours. Friday, another day spent sitting in the office.

Meanwhile, we are getting more and more frustrated with the lack of
communication from the district SPED person. The people at the school are
great; we talk to them nearly every day, but every day it's the same thing,
"No, we haven't heard from her either." She is never in when we call (we
have her direct number), and leaving messages doesn't seem to have any
effect. Her personal assistant is never in either, just voice mail (why
leave a voice mail for the assistant when she won't even return calls
directly to her own voice mail?) Finally yesterday we tried to call the
director of special education, and got yet another voice mail system.

We're just wondering what's going to happen if he does something that can
get him suspended again. Right now, we feel like he's being repeatedly put
into situations where he is likely to fail, while the district person drags
her feet about getting him moved. There's a pretty good chance that, if he
did get suspended again from this school, we will likely fight it on those
grounds. It has to be frustrating for him, too, because we know *he* does
not like what's going on at school, he recognizes that there is a problem
and that it is mainly within himself that the problem lies, but he is, at
this point, pretty powerless to do anything about it. He obviously does not
have the skills that he needs to deal with these issues, so he's literally
languishing at school, mainly just sitting there doing nothing of any value
at all.

Needless to say, my husband and I are pretty ****ed about all this. The
lack of communication is really something. If the district person would
just *call us* and let us know what she's doing, or even when she's
available! I've said repeatedly that I will take a day off from work. My
husband is always available since he works from home. That leaves it mainly
up to her, and she won't even call us back!

As for the psych evaluation, that was pretty much a joke. We met (all 3 of
us) with the therapist guy--I don't know if he was a psychologist or just a
LCSW. We all sat there in his office talking. I had typed something up,
really simliar to the "at wit's end" post but with a lot more information
and details. Also had a written statement from his current teacher. Both
were about 2 pages. Before we went into his office, I gave both of those to
the receptionist and told her to have him read them before he met with us.
He didn't even read them! Then while we were sitting there, and he started
to ask us "what is the problem" and all that crap, I told him to just read
the letters--both of them. He resisted somewhat with things like "I don't
know that this is the best use of my time," etc. But once he started
reading I think he understood why we had written all that down for him--it's
just way too complex of a problem to sit there and talk about in his little
office, with conversation around each item and everything--I wanted him to
get the whole picture, uninterrupted.

So anyway, he read, we talked, we said "he needs intensive one-on-one," he
told us "well Kaiser isn't really set up for that." That's the exact same
thing the last Kaiser psychologist told us!!! So I asked him, "Why not? He
gets 20 visits a year, why can't he come without us?" The doc said "Well
mainly what we do is meet with the child, meet with the parents, and try to
give the parents tools for dealing with the child." Okay, whatever. Then I
started asking him about neurological issues, like what is the effect of
Ritalin on a 2-year-old child's brain, and could that have caused some
imbalance that we're not aware of? He responded that he needed to make an
apointment WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST to have him evaluated for that. That's
exactly what I *thought* we were doing--the appointment was supposed to be
for a *full psychiatric evaluation*!!!

So, now, THAT will not take place until the middle of December. Meanwhile,
we have another appointment with this "therapist" in a couple of weeks. He
wants to meet with my SS alone, then with us (me and hubby) alone. So,
we'll see where this goes. This wouldn't be enough just by itself, but I'm
thinking this may be a nice complement to the treatment program he's going
to start going to (any day now....), so we'll stick with it and see.

Now, if only we can actually get his program switched!
--
ColoradoSkiBum

ColoradoSkiBum wrote:

The lack of communication is really something.

Put it in writing and send it to her with a date you want a response.
Actually there are laws that dictate how many days they have to respond to a
written request but adding a date of your own never hurts. Do you document
all your correspondence? You should, it can be invaluable.

He responded that he needed to make an
apointment WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST to have him evaluated for that.
That's exactly what I *thought* we were doing--the appointment was
supposed to be for a *full psychiatric evaluation*!!!

So, now, THAT will not take place until the middle of December.

Arg. I'm glad it is scheduled. Sounds like he really needs it.

Good luck
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

In ,
ColoradoSkiBum wrote:

*Meanwhile, we are getting more and more frustrated with the lack of
*communication from the district SPED person. The people at the school are
*great; we talk to them nearly every day, but every day it's the same thing,
*"No, we haven't heard from her either." She is never in when we call (we
*have her direct number), and leaving messages doesn't seem to have any
*effect. Her personal assistant is never in either, just voice mail (why
*leave a voice mail for the assistant when she won't even return calls
*directly to her own voice mail?) Finally yesterday we tried to call the
*director of special education, and got yet another voice mail system.

OK, this is absurd. If I were in such a position, I would drive over to
where this person's office is (if I knew) or to the main district
administration office (to find out where the person's office was) and I
would not leave until I had either met with the person, met with the
person's supervisor, or had a firm appointment date for a face-to-face
meeting to discuss this.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

"ColoradoSkiBum" wrote in message
...
..... So we talked to his teacher, and the AP, the
day it all happened and they said they'd set up an IEP meeting with the
district SPED coordinator to have his placement changed.

That was a week and a half ago. He has Monday off for Veteran's day, so
by
the time he goes back to school it will be 2 weeks exactly. And we still
haven't had the meeting to have his placement changed. ...

Here are a couple of websites that might help:
http://www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/Pare...iepprocess.htm ... it is not for
Colorado, but much of it applies nationally. At some point you should get a
list of your rights as a parent:
http://www.cde.state.co.us/cdesped/index.htm

and this one:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/

In article ,
"ColoradoSkiBum" wrote:


Needless to say, my husband and I are pretty ****ed about all this. The
lack of communication is really something. If the district person would
just *call us* and let us know what she's doing, or even when she's
available! I've said repeatedly that I will take a day off from work. My
husband is always available since he works from home. That leaves it mainly
up to her, and she won't even call us back!


Loathe as I normally am to suggest anything like this, it may be time to
consult a lawyer who specializes in education law. In most states, the
fact that you are not getting a response for this long would put the
system out of compliance with state law. The longer they put off doing
the things that need to be done, the longer your step son will go
without the services he really needs.

I know after fighting with a school for several weeks, I got exactly
what I wanted (and my daughter needed) only after they got a call from
someone outside the school system who knew what the law required and had
more power than I do (in my case, it was someone from the county health
department). A letter from a lawyer might get their attention -- and it
is clear that their attention needs to be gotten!

So, now, THAT will not take place until the middle of December. Meanwhile,
we have another appointment with this "therapist" in a couple of weeks. He
wants to meet with my SS alone, then with us (me and hubby) alone. So,
we'll see where this goes. This wouldn't be enough just by itself, but I'm
thinking this may be a nice complement to the treatment program he's going
to start going to (any day now....), so we'll stick with it and see.


I'm glad you finally have an appointment for a full psych evaluation.
Hang in there!

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care