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#1
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Any ideas about....
Hello every "single-parents"
My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? |
#2
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Any ideas about....
On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:34:21 +0200, "Tall Kate"
wrote: Hello every "single-parents" My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? Neither. She's clever, as you say, and as most children are. She's learned that crying is an effective way of getting your attention. At her age, she's probably able to understand blocks of time, so you can preempt the tears by letting her know the plan ahead of time. "Mommy has to do a little bit of work now, and then I'll play with you for a little while." If she knows she's going to have your undivided attention soon, she'll think it's worth waiting for. lm |
#3
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Any ideas about....
It sounds as a great idea, thank you very much "lm" but in my case
( tested) those very sweet words just could not work. She repeats "mom hold me, hold me mom, give me a hold, mom, mom,..... and those tears that make me soft . So she gets her way. ? "lm" ?????? ??? ?????? ... On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:34:21 +0200, "Tall Kate" wrote: Hello every "single-parents" My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? Neither. She's clever, as you say, and as most children are. She's learned that crying is an effective way of getting your attention. At her age, she's probably able to understand blocks of time, so you can preempt the tears by letting her know the plan ahead of time. "Mommy has to do a little bit of work now, and then I'll play with you for a little while." If she knows she's going to have your undivided attention soon, she'll think it's worth waiting for. lm |
#4
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Any ideas about....
If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and
tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Well now you've just trained her to cry if she wants to be held. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) That is pretty clever for so young a child. At that age I doubt she is being deliberately manipulative, but if you continue to reward it, it will only get worse and will become manipulative. When you do have time, teach her to entertain herself, but I must say that under two is still pretty young to expect to spend a lot of time taking care of herself, different kids have different needs. Reward her and hug her when she is independent and cheerful. But if you are expecting a two year old to spend a lot of time on her own while you are working, I think that's unrealistic. you may need to hire some help. joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#5
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Any ideas about....
Thank you "Joelle" for the time you spent posting to me.
Some times I am pretty sure that she manipulates me very well, but at the same time I think she is very young to do this. Many friends say that all she does to me is nothing but what I teched to her. Actually I give her all my attention, because when I come home- after my work- I spend all the time with my daughter. There is no leisure time for me. Now she is sleeping , so I can spend some time with friends,talking, posting etc. Thank God my parents give me a hand when I work. ( When she sleeps she is an angel ). ....But I can go nowhere because as soon as she wakes up, she is looking for her mother.And she could wake up at any time , looking for her mother's hold and kisses... Ο "Joelle" έγραψε στο μήνυμα ... If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Well now you've just trained her to cry if she wants to be held. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) That is pretty clever for so young a child. At that age I doubt she is being deliberately manipulative, but if you continue to reward it, it will only get worse and will become manipulative. When you do have time, teach her to entertain herself, but I must say that under two is still pretty young to expect to spend a lot of time taking care of herself, different kids have different needs. Reward her and hug her when she is independent and cheerful. But if you are expecting a two year old to spend a lot of time on her own while you are working, I think that's unrealistic. you may need to hire some help. joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#6
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Any ideas about....
I pay all my attention to her but I still worry if this is not enough
for my little girl. But sometimes I think that she reacts like that because she probably needs her father. He is not pay many attention to her because he comes to visit his daughter every three or four weeks -maybe more- and there was time that he even did not call us for four months and more....(so now my daughter should be satisfied for keeping such a touch with her bio-father). He is about forty eight to fifty kilometers from us but he thinks he has a lot of work to do than to spend his leisure time with his child ( at the week-ends of course) and that this distance is great enough to keep him apart of his daughter. He insists that he loves her , because he is sending me for her feet about EUROS-100 a month and nothing else.( He probably thinks that the baby is eating nothing but fresh air.... and grows up only because she should grow up) I try to teach him pay some attention by playing together with the girl, to hold her into his arms but he is not behaving like a father .All I do, I do it for my little girl, so one day she is not accusing me that I try to keep her father apart( even his parents and his brother and his sister did not give us a phone call since the day they learn about my pregnancy.....) ? 'Kate ?????? ??? ?????? ... On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:34:21 +0200, "Tall Kate" Hello every "single-parents" My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? I wouldn't want to label her either. Nothing good can come from that. Nor should she be able to use tears to manipulate you. But...she's using them to get attention and hugs. They're not being used to get things like sweets and toys. Maybe she needs more attention than she is getting. Do you think that you're giving her enough attention? 'Kate |
#7
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Any ideas about....
"Tall Kate" wrote in message ... It sounds as a great idea, thank you very much "lm" but in my case ( tested) those very sweet words just could not work. She repeats "mom hold me, hold me mom, give me a hold, mom, mom,..... and those tears that make me soft . So she gets her way. Maybe you could start with a short activity that she understands. At her age, she is probably potty-training or recently potty-trained, so she is familiar with the concept and probably thinks of it as very important. Maybe you could start with "just a minute, Mommy has to go potty, then I'll hold you". The go into the bathroom briefly, shut the door, come out, and then hold her. This could get her accustomed to waiting to get what she needs, and introduces the idea that Mommy has needs too. Hope that helps, Joy ? "lm" ?????? ??? ?????? ... On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:34:21 +0200, "Tall Kate" wrote: Hello every "single-parents" My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? Neither. She's clever, as you say, and as most children are. She's learned that crying is an effective way of getting your attention. At her age, she's probably able to understand blocks of time, so you can preempt the tears by letting her know the plan ahead of time. "Mommy has to do a little bit of work now, and then I'll play with you for a little while." If she knows she's going to have your undivided attention soon, she'll think it's worth waiting for. lm |
#8
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Any ideas about....
"Tall Kate" wrote in message ... Thank you "Joelle" for the time you spent posting to me. Some times I am pretty sure that she manipulates me very well, but at the same time I think she is very young to do this. Many friends say that all she does to me is nothing but what I teched to her. You could possibly use this as a tool to teach her other things. You already know that she loves being held and hugged. You can use that as a reward whenever you catch her doing something you want her to do - if she plays by herself for a minute or two, offer her a hug and tell her how great she is doing playing by herself. If she puts her doll away, or pats the dog nicely, or anything else that you have decided to work on, you could reward her with a hug (always telling her whatever it is that she did that you liked). On the other hand, it sounds like having to sit in a chair by herself for a moment might be a good way to discipline her for NOT doing what she is supposed to (within reasonable bounds for her age, of course). Actually I give her all my attention, because when I come home- after my work- I spend all the time with my daughter. There is no leisure time for me. Now she is sleeping , so I can spend some time with friends,talking, posting etc. Thank God my parents give me a hand when I work. ( When she sleeps she is an angel ). ....But I can go nowhere because as soon as she wakes up, she is looking for her mother.And she could wake up at any time , looking for her mother's hold and kisses... She will eventually become more independent, of course, and then you will have a little more time to yourself. She might become that way more quickly if you can figure out how to reward independence, instead of rewarding whining and crying. That's what I was thinking of when I suggested offering hugs whenever she plays by herself for a minute or two - always also telling her verbally what it is that you are rewarding her for, so she understands. Best wishes - I know needy little ones are tiring. Joy Ο "Joelle" έγραψε στο μήνυμα ... If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Well now you've just trained her to cry if she wants to be held. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) That is pretty clever for so young a child. At that age I doubt she is being deliberately manipulative, but if you continue to reward it, it will only get worse and will become manipulative. When you do have time, teach her to entertain herself, but I must say that under two is still pretty young to expect to spend a lot of time taking care of herself, different kids have different needs. Reward her and hug her when she is independent and cheerful. But if you are expecting a two year old to spend a lot of time on her own while you are working, I think that's unrealistic. you may need to hire some help. joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#9
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Any ideas about....
Hello "Joy" and thank you very much.
I really appreciate the advices you suggested me to follow .I think I am going keep in mind all your thoughts and teach my little princess to behave so . Actually I find the way you think very good, near my philosophy, very tender and gentle and I hope it will help me a lot. ......But of course not from the very first time and I know it takes a lot of work to do. At university -many years ago - I had the experience to follow some courses about psychology but it was concernig other ages( teens in high school , young people at college, etc) , so I was totaly unprepared for my daughter's behavior . Then a friend suggested me to be in touch with other members of your group and here I am. Ο "Joy" fairly_happy_doesn't_need_any_more_spam@withoutsp amyahoo.com έγραψε στο μήνυμα . .. "Tall Kate" wrote in message ... Thank you "Joelle" for the time you spent posting to me. Some times I am pretty sure that she manipulates me very well, but at the same time I think she is very young to do this. Many friends say that all she does to me is nothing but what I teched to her. You could possibly use this as a tool to teach her other things. You already know that she loves being held and hugged. You can use that as a reward whenever you catch her doing something you want her to do - if she plays by herself for a minute or two, offer her a hug and tell her how great she is doing playing by herself. If she puts her doll away, or pats the dog nicely, or anything else that you have decided to work on, you could reward her with a hug (always telling her whatever it is that she did that you liked). On the other hand, it sounds like having to sit in a chair by herself for a moment might be a good way to discipline her for NOT doing what she is supposed to (within reasonable bounds for her age, of course). Actually I give her all my attention, because when I come home- after my work- I spend all the time with my daughter. There is no leisure time for me. Now she is sleeping , so I can spend some time with friends,talking, posting etc. Thank God my parents give me a hand when I work. ( When she sleeps she is an angel ). ....But I can go nowhere because as soon as she wakes up, she is looking for her mother.And she could wake up at any time , looking for her mother's hold and kisses... She will eventually become more independent, of course, and then you will have a little more time to yourself. She might become that way more quickly if you can figure out how to reward independence, instead of rewarding whining and crying. That's what I was thinking of when I suggested offering hugs whenever she plays by herself for a minute or two - always also telling her verbally what it is that you are rewarding her for, so she understands. Best wishes - I know needy little ones are tiring. Joy Ο "Joelle" έγραψε στο μήνυμα ... If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Well now you've just trained her to cry if she wants to be held. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) That is pretty clever for so young a child. At that age I doubt she is being deliberately manipulative, but if you continue to reward it, it will only get worse and will become manipulative. When you do have time, teach her to entertain herself, but I must say that under two is still pretty young to expect to spend a lot of time taking care of herself, different kids have different needs. Reward her and hug her when she is independent and cheerful. But if you are expecting a two year old to spend a lot of time on her own while you are working, I think that's unrealistic. you may need to hire some help. joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#10
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Any ideas about....
Καλά σου τα λένε οι άνθρωποι!
"Tall Kate" wrote in message ... I pay all my attention to her but I still worry if this is not enough for my little girl. But sometimes I think that she reacts like that because she probably needs her father. He is not pay many attention to her because he comes to visit his daughter every three or four weeks -maybe more- and there was time that he even did not call us for four months and more....(so now my daughter should be satisfied for keeping such a touch with her bio-father). He is about forty eight to fifty kilometers from us but he thinks he has a lot of work to do than to spend his leisure time with his child ( at the week-ends of course) and that this distance is great enough to keep him apart of his daughter. He insists that he loves her , because he is sending me for her feet about EUROS-100 a month and nothing else.( He probably thinks that the baby is eating nothing but fresh air.... and grows up only because she should grow up) I try to teach him pay some attention by playing together with the girl, to hold her into his arms but he is not behaving like a father .All I do, I do it for my little girl, so one day she is not accusing me that I try to keep her father apart( even his parents and his brother and his sister did not give us a phone call since the day they learn about my pregnancy.....) ? 'Kate ?????? ??? ?????? ... On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:34:21 +0200, "Tall Kate" Hello every "single-parents" My little daughter is trying to keep me busy all the time. She is totally depended on me. There is something that makes me worry a lot!. The last week she seems to discover the new power of tears. If I don't pay any attention to her for five minutes she starts crying and tears-drops are appearing to her face. This is something that I can't even regist for a minute, so I open my arms and I give her a big hold. Nowhere else but my job. She becomes so noisy, and ....tears. Is it normal for a child of her age ( almost two year old- but very clever you should believe me) Is she reacting like an actress or is she very sensitive? I wouldn't want to label her either. Nothing good can come from that. Nor should she be able to use tears to manipulate you. But...she's using them to get attention and hugs. They're not being used to get things like sweets and toys. Maybe she needs more attention than she is getting. Do you think that you're giving her enough attention? 'Kate |
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