Alec's birth story (long, of course!)

Melania writes:
: Alec's birth story

Congratulations, Todd would be proud!

:-)
Larry

Alec's birth story
(pictures at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/mdcnnn/)

All weekend long I was saying to myself "this baby's getting ready to
be born." I had a lot of prelabour signs, but nothing that indicated
exactly when I might expect the little guy to make his debut. I figured
he would likely come sometime between the 20th and the 25th, and other
than that I had no real idea. I had a few painful contractions on
Saturday, and then nothing more. Sunday dh and I realized we'd better
take belly photos if we were going to, and we shot some great pictures
of the pregnant tummy and the family together. We also decided that if
dh was going to put in any extra hours at work, Monday would be the day
to do it, just in case the baby came "early." Tuesday the 17th was my
LMP due date, but I figured I had about 5-8 days to go past that.

Monday the 16th I found myself obsessing over whether or not my waters
would break before labour began, as they had done with my first birth.
I spent some time on mkp and Google trying to work out the likelihood
of it happening, and I briefly considered going out to buy a plastic
sheet to put on my bed. Monday afternoon I didn't feel like doing
anything but play and enjoy spending time with ds, so we went swimming
together, and then turned on some music and had a big dance party, just
the two of us. We also spent some time in the building's playground. Dh
brought home souvlaki for dinner, and after eating the three of us went
to a nearby park and blew bubbles. Monday night after ds was in bed, dh
and I watched a movie and settled in for the night. I went to bed at
about 10:30.

I woke up soaking wet at 12:25 am. Immediately knew that my water had
broken, so I got up, got cleaned up, and checked the water - clear,
with just a touch of pink, and baby was relatively active, so I decided
to go back to bed (now swaddled in towels). Of course, dh woke up and
asked if I was okay, and I told him what had happened. I lay in bed for
two hours, getting up frequently because I kept needing the washroom.
Far from being excited, I was disappointed to be starting the process
tired and disoriented after 2 hours of sleep, and I also found myself
suddenly worrying about how having a new baby was going to impact my
relationship with ds (great timing for that particular worry . . . ).
And then I was disappointed with myself for being so negative about the
birth beginning. Not a great mindset to be in! Finally, at 2:40 am, I
got up for good since it was obvious I wasn't going to get any more
sleep and I was disturbing dh. Still no contractions, but they started
weakly about 10 minutes after I got up. I posted about my water
breaking at mkp, and then tried to lay down on the couch and get some
sleep. Contractions became regular at about 3:30, but were very
manageable. I rested between contractions, never quite dozing off, till
5 am. I was just getting to the point of thinking, "one more and then
I'll wake up dh," which went on for about 4 or 5 contractions, when he
got up. I had a second helping of tea and toast with him, and he put on
some coffee. He started timing contractions, which I hadn't been doing,
and they were actually 8-10 apart; by 5:30 they were 6-8 apart, with 2
mini-contractions in between, and slow dancing through them was
starting to be ineffective. We called the grandparents to fill them in
(they live in a different time zone - we're not that mean!), and called
ds's care person to come over. We also called M, my friend who was
attending the birth. By 6 am dh had talked me into going to the
hospital. Ds was still sleeping, and his aunt was here.

I didn't have a single contraction waiting for the taxi, on the ride
over, or during admitting, and I was beginning to think I'd made a huge
mistake in going to the hospital when the next three contractions
caught me. We got settled into our room and met the nurse, who was just
about to end her shift. We gave her the birth plan, which she read, and
which she said she would share with the rest of the staff. She then
asked me a battery of questions, most of which dh had been asked by the
nurse on the phone when he called in to tell them we were coming (when
waters broke, appearance of waters, when contractions started, baby's
activity, etc), and she did a strip test through two contractions. I
was getting pretty annoyed with the questioning, and with being made to
sit in a chair for the strip test when I wanted to be on my feet for
the contractions. Around 7 am a young guy in scrubs walked in and
introduced himself as the resident. He had a big list of questions to
ask, most of which we were now being asked for the third time in an
hour, and many of which a glance at my file would have answered (lmp,
first pregnancy or not, etc.). I was really unimpressed by now, and
actually being rude in my responses. I have to admit I wasn't pleased
with the resident just based on appearances, which isn't fair. I told
him, between contractions, that it was really ridiculous to be asked
all these questions so many times, and he seemed genuinely sheepish. He
also said he would need to do a cervical check, and I asked if my
doctor had been called yet. He said they didn't want to call her till
he knew how dilated I was, so I consented. The day nurse, who was
fantastic, came on shift and assisted with the exam. I should also
mention that both the resident and the nurse told me they'd read the
birth plan and thought it looked great. The resident found that I was 4
cms, mostly effaced, and baby was at 0. This was far better than what I
was expecting - and the exam didn't hurt at all. I thanked the
resident, told him it didn't hurt (it was gradually dawning on me,
based on his interaction with the nurses, that he had almost no
experience with attending births, and was actually really nervous, and
I hadn't helped with that initially), and settled in. M had brought her
cd player and we hung out for a while, timing contractions, which were
3-5 apart and strong enough that I was leaning over the table or the
birthing ball with dh applying pressure on my hips and pelvis, and
moaning quite loudly through the contractions.

My doctor came by at 8:45 on her way into the office, by which time I
was yelling through contractions. I was feeling terrible emotionally,
because in my first labour I had about 8 hours of contractions 4-6
minutes apart, and between contractions I was happy and gregarious. I
just felt grumpy and irritable this time, and upset that I wasn't
getting a second wind or an adrenaline rush. My doctor didn't examine
me at all, but said, "this baby's coming before noon!" She told me to
make sure that I called the nurse when I hit transition, which she
assured me would be obvious, and to "remind them to call me right away;
sometimes they forget." Huh? Especially when her office is kitty corner
to the hospital? Um, okaaaay . . .

I didn't look at the clock after that, but things got fast and furious.
In my last birth, I had an epidural after a lot of labour without much
dilation, so I was about to experience unmedicated birth for the first
time. I couldn't find a good position for my contractions, which were
getting stronger and stronger, and ended up sitting on the ball at the
end of the bed, holding a stirrup in each hand and basically howling
through the contractions. I decided I wanted to try the nitrous oxide,
which my doctor had said didn't do much and mostly just helped focus
the breathing. Sure enough, I used the gas through three contractions
and found that it made me light headed without helping the pain, so I
put it away. I ended up kneeling on the floor, hugging the birthing
ball through the contractions, and refusing to talk or even move
between contractions. I wanted desperately to lie down, I was so tired,
and so angry at myself for not feeling "better," but I knew that if I
did lie down the next contraction would be unbearable. Dh started
asking, "is this transition? Is this transition? What's transition
like?" Till I yelled, "I DON'T KNOW!!!" I had one contraction where I
found myself shouting, "MAKE IT STOP!" and I began to sob with
frustration at the pain. Through it all, M and dh were stellar - she
was timing every contraction, and announcing, "halfway done!" "almost
done!" which I heard through the pain and which helped me not to panic.
Dh was still doing the pressure on my hips, which I'm sure was helping.
The next contraction after the "make it stop!" one I felt myself
bearing down, and then realized I wanted to sit on the toilet. I knew
now that we'd better call the nurse, which we did, and when she came
running in I was refusing to get off the toilet. I didn't want her to
check me, since I knew only a couple of hours had passed since I'd been
at 4 cms, and I didn't want to be discouraged, but she insisted because
I was feeling a pushing urge. A quick check had her saying, "you're at
8 or more, there's a bit of cervix, baby's right there," and suddenly I
was elated. I was able to handle my contractions on my feet again, just
leaning into the birthing ball, and dh's pressure on my hips was taking
away what felt like 50% of the pain - I could almost talk through the
contractions. It was, I discovered later, not even 10 am yet. Nobody
had expected me to go from 4 to 8 in 2 hours, except maybe my doctor,
and there was a scramble to get everything lined up (including my
doctor!) for the birth.

The doctor got there, and they got me up on the bed on my knees,
leaning forward into the back of the bed. I was definitely having
pushing contractions now, and although the beginning of the
contractions hurt, the pushing felt wonderful. I surprised everyone by
smiling through several contractions. It helped to have such wonderful
support people; the nurse kept saying, "you're amazing!" and my doctor
told me "that's how you do it! Just like that!" several times. The
resident was back, and I realized he was being coached through the
delivery by my doctor (I had specified in my birth plan that students
were welcome at the birth). Subsequent inspection of the birth photos
show her hands guiding his in perineal support and in supporting the
head as it delivered, too. I heard him say, "so, you can deliver the
baby with her on her knees like this?" And my doctor said, "oh, yeah,
some women find this a really comfortable position." My legs, however,
got shaky and I decided to try side lying for the birth. Dh held my
right leg, and I hung onto his jeans pocket and belt loops through the
contractions! I wanted so badly to give it everything I had and push
like a maniac through the contractions, but my doctor kept saying,
"just breathe, just breathe, let your body do it." Once I got the hang
of breathing through instead of holding my breath and bearing down, the
contractions felt easier. I remember between contractions looking over
at M, who was taking pictures, and flashing her a big grin. I felt so
relieved that the negativity I'd been feeling through what I now knew
to have been transition had vanished.

They let me know the baby was about to crown, and said, "okay, you'll
be feeling the ring of fire soon," at which point I felt the ring of
razor wire (no kidding, fire does NOT describe it). I started chanting
"it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts" to which someone said, "oh, we
know it hurts, that's you stretching to fit the baby through, you're
doing great!" and I chanted "it hurts I know you know it hurts I just
need to keep saying it hurts it hurts it hurts" and then the next
contraction came, which at that point was a relief. When it was over,
the pain was gone, and I could feel the head partly out. I made the
mistake of thinking, "oh, good, ring of razor wire is over," because
when it came time to fully deliver the head and I felt the REAL pain, I
started yelling "nonononononono!" and trying to push up away from the
pain. Fortunately, everyone was calm, happy, and wonderfully supportive
through the few seconds it took to get past that point, and suddenly
the head was out, and although delivering the rest of the baby wasn't
comfortable, the worst was certainly over. At 10:53 am, up he came onto
my belly, I rolled onto my back, they dried him off there, and in the
distance I heard the resident asking the doctor, "so, when does the
cord stop pulsating?" and her replying, "oh, it depends, we'll just
deliver the placenta before we do anything." Alec hung out with me till
then, and when the placenta was out and the cord had stopped pulsating,
dh cut it. I confirmed for everyone the obvious fact that he was a boy,
and we noticed that he has the same microtia (ear condition) as his
brother - only on the opposite side. After a quick physical, Alec was
returned to me to nurse, which he did like a trooper. I took some of
the nitrous before the freezing was put in, to stitch up a couple of
small tears, and it was much more effective at taking the edge off of
that than during labour!

Within minutes of Alec's birth I felt on top of the world. He was so
lovely and ready to be born - in spite of being early by my
calculations and on his due date by lmp, he was covered in flaking
skin, completely free of vernix, and had long, manicured-looking nails.
I made all the announcement calls from the bed, with Alec in my arms,
and felt physically well instantly. Such a far cry from how I felt
after an augmented labour with an epidural! I admit I was taken aback
by the pain of the contractions during transition, and by the pain of
delivering the head, but having done it both ways the payoff
immediately after the unmedicated birth was completely worth it.

We stayed at the hospital for one night. The nurses and doctors were
completely supportive of him cosleeping with me during that time. The
only time Alec left my sight was when dh took him to the lab for an
ultrasound on his kidneys, which is required when an outer ear
malformation is present, since the two develop at the same time in
utero. Apart from the ambient noise, the hospital was very comfortable
and we debated staying an extra night to take advantage of the jacuzzi
tub (which felt maaaarvelous after having given birth!) and the care in
case something suddenly went wrong. However, Alec was already nursing
like a champ, we missed ds (although he was welcome at any time and
indeed spent several hours with us in the room), and the hospital food
was unspeakable.

As an entertaining aside: there was a provincial election on Alec's
birthday, and we had election officials coming uninvited into the
delivery room twice during labour and once within the hour after the
birth, hounding me to vote! At which point (I hate to admit) I told
them off and announced that I wouldn't be voting at all, thank you very
much. I had intended to vote, actually, but was not feeling up to it in
the event, and certainly did not appreciate their persistence.

In spite of my initial concerns upon arrival at the hospital, I
couldn't be happier with how the birth went and with the support I got
- dh and M were wonderful, I was able to call the shots throughout the
birth, my birth plan was not only adhered to but applauded by the
staff, and I was able to try a mild medication and then discard it as
an option, to deliver without medication, and to deliver in the
position I chose. My doctor and nurse actually remarked several times
that they wished they had the labour and birth on video so they could
show women how a normal unmedicated delivery looks!

So, here we are six days after the birth. My rash has not flared up,
mercifully, and establishing nursing has been a dream. I feel so much
healthier and better than I did following my first birth. Ds is dealing
very well with everything, although he has of course been a bit more
sensitive and vulnerable, and he's giving the baby loads of gentle
snuggles and kisses, helping with diaper changes, and generally being
involved and interested. For my part, I've been taking advantage of my
newly reduced belly to get in heaps of snuggling with my big boy. I
fell instantly in love with Alec, and am just soaking up the joy of
being with my two wonderful sons.

Melania
Mom to
Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
Alec (May 17, 2005)

On 23 May 2005 22:01:08 -0700, "Melania" wrote:

Alec's birth story
(pictures at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/mdcnnn/)

Ohhhh, he's gorgeous!
And your oldest is such a cutie pie :-)

Thank you for sharing your story.

Nan

Congratulations! I'm so glad your labour delivery went so well! I've been
anxiously awaiting your post. Sounds like a wonderful hospital, which one
was it? What beautiful boys you have!

Love your story, but I am fascinated as to how election officials managed to
get into Delivery! I would have thought security would be a bit tighter -- to
say nothing of care for women in labour! Maybe you could write to your
newspaper about this?

Congratulations again

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

"Melania" wrote in message
ups.com...
Alec's birth story
(pictures at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/mdcnnn/)

SNIP
.. I
fell instantly in love with Alec, and am just soaking up the joy of
being with my two wonderful sons.

Melania
Mom to
Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
Alec (May 17, 2005)


aw, that is alovely story. well done. more power to you! congrats and
welcome baby alec

christine

Melania wrote:
Alec's birth story
(pictures at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/mdcnnn/)



Melania
Mom to
Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
Alec (May 17, 2005)

Oh how beautiful Congratulations, wonder-woman How strong do you
feel?

The pics are gorgeous, too!

Can't wait to share my story... Hope I have as much memory of it's
intricacies as you did - you really brought the story to life

Jo (RM)

"Melania" wrote:

Alec's birth story
(pictures at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/mdcnnn/)

Melania
Mom to
Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
Alec (May 17, 2005)

That's a wonderful story, Melania. Your boys are beautiful. Glad it went
so well!

--
Rebecca Jo
EDD may 27 2005

many congratulations Melania,

you never actually mentioned his weight, surely you know it is imperative to
give us all the stats!

Anne

Congrats! Great story, glad you had your unmedicated natural birth.
Since you got compliments on your birth plan, would you mind posting it or
emailing it to me? I'm eons away from needing to write mine, but thought I
should start getting ideas so I can talk to the OBs about them while I
decide if I should switch to a midwife.
email address is avoisine at gmail dot com
Congrats again!
Amy V.
EDD 11/25/05