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All about me now :-) (was Thank you for those people who supported my statements



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 4th 03, 10:11 PM
dolores
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default All about me now :-) (was Thank you for those people who supported my statements


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On 21 Jun 2003 13:53:46 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

Do med changes have to come from the shrink? Our GPs do med changes
once the psych has given them a treatment plan.


Well considering the shrink doesn't really know what works...just keeps

adding
meds (then taking them away when I complain about his drowsiness) I have

to say
I just don't trust a GP. Especially since we dont' have a real rapport

with
one.

There's always the doctor I went to shortly after Loren died for a check

up - I
was paranoid about being the only one left for the kids and heard that

widows
get sick within a few months of their spouses death.

Anyway she asks me about the grief and sez "Is there something I can

prescribe
for you for that?"

?


Yuh. I see what you mean.

I have a wonderful GP. She was recommended to us by the rape crisis
people because she's had special training in the area, and is one of
the docs called in to do the exam when a new victim is brought to
emerg. She has a good understanding of PTSD in rape survivors. So we
decided to give her a try and she's turned out to be just excellent.
But I'm lucky, I guess, in that we already *know* what T's medical
situation is, so we know what we're treating. On a positive note, T
told me yesterday that she feels ready to begin the slow wean off her
meds. And I think she just might be right. Wow.


Over the past year I've thought of your daughter a lot Cele, and wondered
how she is. I really hope she's feeling better, cos she had a real tough
time, I dunno how you've managed to get back to normal, if that's
possible....it must be really hard. Give her a big hug for
me.......jeeez......my eyes are getting all blurry, just thinking of what
she went through. I know I muck about a lot, but I genuinely really
felt/feel for your little girl. Not that I have any words of wisdom
either......I've never had to deal with anything like that.

Werent you talking about moving away from that place (cant remember the
name, some remote part of Canada, I think). Did you change your mind or did
you move?


Dolores




  #2  
Old July 6th 03, 05:15 PM
Cele
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default All about me now :-) (was Thank you for those people who supported my statements

On Fri, 4 Jul 2003 22:11:32 +0100, "dolores" wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message


I have a wonderful GP. She was recommended to us by the rape crisis
people because she's had special training in the area, and is one of
the docs called in to do the exam when a new victim is brought to
emerg. She has a good understanding of PTSD in rape survivors. So we
decided to give her a try and she's turned out to be just excellent.
But I'm lucky, I guess, in that we already *know* what T's medical
situation is, so we know what we're treating. On a positive note, T
told me yesterday that she feels ready to begin the slow wean off her
meds. And I think she just might be right. Wow.


Over the past year I've thought of your daughter a lot Cele, and wondered
how she is. I really hope she's feeling better, cos she had a real tough
time,


Thanks so much, Dolores. She's doing tremendously well. She's come a
very, very long way and her determination and drive to heal has been
just awesome. Right at the moment she's looking after a little girl
who has cerebral palsy and severe mental handicap, and this afternoon
I pick her up from nine days at the child's home giving her care there
so her mother can have a break. She's earnef around $450 at this work,
and she loves doing it. The little girl's parents consistently tell me
she's their first choice for their daughter any time care is required.
So she's become an awesome caregiver, having needed such intense care
herself so recently. :-)

She still has sleep problems pretty often. She has occasional anxiety
issues, generally when there's a major stressor that can be
identified. The last week before school starts and the month of the
anniversary of the assault are still pretty hairy. She's going to talk
with the doc about tapering the antidepressants and instead looking at
'as needed' meds to help with the roughest parts of those two
problems.

She continues to have a hard time in school, partly because of her
dyslexia and partly because of the sometimes profound cruelty that is
so often the norm in high schools. With that in mind, I've pulled her
out of the public system, and enroled her for her final two years in a
private school specifically for kids with dyslexia. She'll earn the
same high school graduation as anyone else, and will be qualified to
go to university or college, but she'll be taught in classes with four
to ten kids in them, all of whom know how it feels to struggle, and by
teachers who understand dyslexia and can teach in ways that work
specifically for these kids. The monitoring of behaviour is much
tighter too, so any bullying is spotted and dealt with straight away.

I had absolutely no money to pay for this school, which costs about a
third of my annual salary. I have a large streak of the spiritual in
me, and I decided just to act on faith that the universe would be
there if the choice was a good one, and I paid the assessment fee and
went through the enrolment process anyway. She was accepted instantly,
even though most kids have to wait about six weeks to see if they got
in. I called up her Dad and he was willing to come up with the first
payment of four. Then it turned out there was a bursary process, and
of a hundred and ten kids, or so, there are twenty bursaries. So I
applied. I spent two days going nuts trying to organise all my
finances so that I could get the incredible detail required presented
in some rational form, and they gave us the biggest bursary on offer.
That left only one more payment, which I don't have to come up with
'til November. So I'm doing respite care to earn the money over the
summer. It means I've had to move us back with my parents, where I
haven't lived since I was sixteen, but that's okay. It's turned out to
be a good thing anyway; T benefits enormously from her grandparents'
close presence in her life, and so do I. Only problem is that it's a
two hour commute each way from their house to the school, so we're
looking at a lot of driving come fall.

I dunno how you've managed to get back to normal, if that's
possible....it must be really hard.


It's so much better now, because I can see she's healing, and she's
working hard to heal. She's damned if she'll be a victim - she's a
SURVIVOR! [g] I sent that message right from the start and she really
got it.

We're not totally back to normal, as you see, but the 'new' normal
isn't such a bad one.

Give her a big hug for
me.......jeeez......my eyes are getting all blurry, just thinking of what
she went through. I know I muck about a lot, but I genuinely really
felt/feel for your little girl.


I know you do, Dolores, and I really appreciate it. I sometimes think
that all of the good wishes and empathy of all the people who know
about T's experiences have maybe improved the goodwill in the world
just a little... with your background, you'll be aware of the photons
that know what each other are doing even when they're too far apart to
communicate....even when they're on opposide sides of the
universe....and I sometimes think that in the same mysterious way,
maybe the goodwill out there was felt inside T when it was felt by all
of you. In any case, Great Mysteries aside, your goodwill is so
appreciated here. :-)

Not that I have any words of wisdom
either......I've never had to deal with anything like that.


The wisdom I needed I've been able to find from wherever, but the
empathy, that's what I couldn't just track down. That's what needs to
be given by others, from the heart. The compassion is probably the
most important thing. I couldn't have helped T if I hadn't had
compassion. Compassion comes first. Wisdom is just its byproduct.

Werent you talking about moving away from that place (cant remember the
name, some remote part of Canada, I think). Did you change your mind or did
you move?


Hee. It has been awhile, hasn't it? I moved from the Yukon a year ago
April. She absolutely had to be got out of there. I left my eldest,
who was then sixteen, with a young woman I trusted, in my house, so
she could graduate. I continue to have some difficulties with
unloading the house; it's on a rent-to-own arrangement that I just
extended for another year 'cause the people didn't close in June like
they were supposed to. [sigh]

I first lived in a horrible part of town because it was what I could
afford. We had tires shot out by the cops in front of our unit. The
smell of weed was overpowering in the complex most nights. The lady
next door, for whom T babysat, offered her a line of coke to snort
(that was the end of that babysitting job).

So we moved to my parents' house in a rural area. They have a separate
suite with a self contained kitchen and all, and I'm there, and T has
a room in the big part of the house. It's going well.

D, my eldest, came down and did a year of college here last year, but
she couldn't stand to be away from all her friends and so she moved
back up this spring. I miss her something awful, but she's doing well.
She'll be 18 at the end of the month. She's working and looking for
more work. She says she's going to college up there in the fall, but I
wouldn't be surprised if she took a year off. Most kids her age are
only now graduating from high school, so a year off isn't so bad.
She's already got some college under her belt. She's learning a lot.
The latest undertaking is to try to figure out how to get her down
here for Christmas. I expect we'll figure it out one way or another.

Thanks for asking. :-)

Cele
  #3  
Old July 6th 03, 05:53 PM
dolores
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default All about me now :-) (was Thank you for those people who supported my statements


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 4 Jul 2003 22:11:32 +0100, "dolores" wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message


I have a wonderful GP. She was recommended to us by the rape crisis
people because she's had special training in the area, and is one of
the docs called in to do the exam when a new victim is brought to
emerg. She has a good understanding of PTSD in rape survivors. So we
decided to give her a try and she's turned out to be just excellent.
But I'm lucky, I guess, in that we already *know* what T's medical
situation is, so we know what we're treating. On a positive note, T
told me yesterday that she feels ready to begin the slow wean off her
meds. And I think she just might be right. Wow.


Over the past year I've thought of your daughter a lot Cele, and wondered
how she is. I really hope she's feeling better, cos she had a real tough
time,


Thanks so much, Dolores. She's doing tremendously well. She's come a
very, very long way and her determination and drive to heal has been
just awesome. Right at the moment she's looking after a little girl
who has cerebral palsy and severe mental handicap, and this afternoon
I pick her up from nine days at the child's home giving her care there
so her mother can have a break. She's earnef around $450 at this work,
and she loves doing it. The little girl's parents consistently tell me
she's their first choice for their daughter any time care is required.
So she's become an awesome caregiver, having needed such intense care
herself so recently. :-)


She must definitely be on the mend, other wise she wouldn't be able do
this, it takes a lot of strength to be a caregiver, particularly someone
outside the family and tons of compassion too. T deserves a lot of credit.
Glad to see how far she's come.

She still has sleep problems pretty often. She has occasional anxiety
issues, generally when there's a major stressor that can be
identified. The last week before school starts and the month of the
anniversary of the assault are still pretty hairy.


But hopefully this will diminish with time.

She's going to talk
with the doc about tapering the antidepressants and instead looking at
'as needed' meds to help with the roughest parts of those two
problems.

She continues to have a hard time in school, partly because of her
dyslexia and partly because of the sometimes profound cruelty that is
so often the norm in high schools.


Oh don't tell me she has to deal with bullies too.....God!....does this not
drive you mad and want to get the bullies by the scruff of the neck, cos I
know I dont think I'd be able to contain my anger with them......or the
school for that matter.

With that in mind, I've pulled her
out of the public system, and enroled her for her final two years in a
private school specifically for kids with dyslexia.


This sounds so unfair......on ye.

She'll earn the
same high school graduation as anyone else, and will be qualified to
go to university or college, but she'll be taught in classes with four
to ten kids in them, all of whom know how it feels to struggle, and by
teachers who understand dyslexia and can teach in ways that work
specifically for these kids. The monitoring of behaviour is much
tighter too, so any bullying is spotted and dealt with straight away.

I had absolutely no money to pay for this school, which costs about a
third of my annual salary. I have a large streak of the spiritual in
me, and I decided just to act on faith that the universe would be
there if the choice was a good one, and I paid the assessment fee and
went through the enrolment process anyway.


LOL......sounds like something I would do, through caution to the wind and
hope for the best. I reckon you've done the right thing though and fair play
to ya!

She was accepted instantly,
even though most kids have to wait about six weeks to see if they got
in. I called up her Dad and he was willing to come up with the first
payment of four. Then it turned out there was a bursary process, and
of a hundred and ten kids, or so, there are twenty bursaries. So I
applied. I spent two days going nuts trying to organise all my
finances so that I could get the incredible detail required presented
in some rational form, and they gave us the biggest bursary on offer.
That left only one more payment, which I don't have to come up with
'til November. So I'm doing respite care to earn the money over the
summer. It means I've had to move us back with my parents, where I
haven't lived since I was sixteen, but that's okay. It's turned out to
be a good thing anyway; T benefits enormously from her grandparents'
close presence in her life, and so do I. Only problem is that it's a
two hour commute each way from their house to the school, so we're
looking at a lot of driving come fall.



Two Hours!!.....My god!......I know US is big, but here a two hour drive is
half way across the country..... I really dont envy ye..... Would it not be
easier to just move nearer the school?

I dunno how you've managed to get back to normal, if that's
possible....it must be really hard.


It's so much better now, because I can see she's healing, and she's
working hard to heal. She's damned if she'll be a victim - she's a
SURVIVOR! [g] I sent that message right from the start and she really
got it.

We're not totally back to normal, as you see, but the 'new' normal
isn't such a bad one.


I think she's done incredibly well, but it must really take a toll on you. I
needn't state the obvious that it's hard enough to bring up kids single
handedly without added burdens......oops just did (state the obvious).

Give her a big hug for
me.......jeeez......my eyes are getting all blurry, just thinking of

what
she went through. I know I muck about a lot, but I genuinely really
felt/feel for your little girl.


I know you do, Dolores, and I really appreciate it. I sometimes think
that all of the good wishes and empathy of all the people who know
about T's experiences have maybe improved the goodwill in the world
just a little... with your background, you'll be aware of the photons
that know what each other are doing even when they're too far apart to
communicate....even when they're on opposide sides of the
universe....and I sometimes think that in the same mysterious way,
maybe the goodwill out there was felt inside T when it was felt by all
of you. In any case, Great Mysteries aside, your goodwill is so
appreciated here. :-)

Not that I have any words of wisdom
either......I've never had to deal with anything like that.


The wisdom I needed I've been able to find from wherever, but the
empathy, that's what I couldn't just track down. That's what needs to
be given by others, from the heart.


Well I hope you were/are able to find this nearer to home, tis all very well
to read it online from a stranger, but means so much more when experience
within your immediate circle.

The compassion is probably the
most important thing. I couldn't have helped T if I hadn't had
compassion. Compassion comes first. Wisdom is just its byproduct.

Werent you talking about moving away from that place (cant remember the
name, some remote part of Canada, I think). Did you change your mind or

did
you move?


Hee. It has been awhile, hasn't it? I moved from the Yukon a year ago
April. She absolutely had to be got out of there. I left my eldest,
who was then sixteen, with a young woman I trusted, in my house, so
she could graduate.


Now that, I would have been nervous about, it must have been hard to leave
her there.

I continue to have some difficulties with
unloading the house; it's on a rent-to-own arrangement that I just
extended for another year 'cause the people didn't close in June like
they were supposed to. [sigh]

I first lived in a horrible part of town because it was what I could
afford. We had tires shot out by the cops in front of our unit. The
smell of weed was overpowering in the complex most nights. The lady
next door, for whom T babysat, offered her a line of coke to snort
(that was the end of that babysitting job).

So we moved to my parents' house in a rural area. They have a separate
suite with a self contained kitchen and all, and I'm there, and T has
a room in the big part of the house. It's going well.

D, my eldest, came down and did a year of college here last year, but
she couldn't stand to be away from all her friends and so she moved
back up this spring. I miss her something awful, but she's doing well.
She'll be 18 at the end of the month. She's working and looking for
more work. She says she's going to college up there in the fall, but I
wouldn't be surprised if she took a year off. Most kids her age are
only now graduating from high school, so a year off isn't so bad.
She's already got some college under her belt. She's learning a lot.
The latest undertaking is to try to figure out how to get her down
here for Christmas. I expect we'll figure it out one way or another.

Thanks for asking. :-)

Cele


No prob!.....I just hope life gets a bit (a lot) easier for you now,
otherwise YOU are going to end up ill or burnt out.

Dolores


  #4  
Old July 6th 03, 06:04 PM
dolores
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default All about me now :-) (was Thank you for those people who supported my statements


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 4 Jul 2003 22:04:29 +0100, "dolores" wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message
.. .
On 20 Jun 2003 14:01:12 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

.

I'm so incredibly glad T's out of the system and off to private
school. We're going to buy her uniform next week, while I still can.
:-/

Cele


Grooaan....you've just reminded me that I've nearly a E1000 to fork out

for
Ronan for secondary school....Damn it's expensive here in Ireland to have
your kids educated....I got the book list the other day and there's not

one
book less than E20.00 (UK £15.00) dunno dollars. And then there's all

the
other stuff like music things/art things......oh.....why did I have
kids......I could have bought a real nice car instead.....lol


Heh. I can relate!

And...psssst..... Dolores.....

You coulda bought TWO LAMBORGHINIS instead!

ROFLMAO

Cele


LOLOL......instead I'm driving my dads car. He passed away last May 3 weeks
after having triple bypass surgery and it's still hard to believe he's gone.
He went under the knife the day I was leaving my old house in the UK and was
buried on the day I was supposed to move into my new house here in Ireland.
it really creeped me out and I very nearly didn't move in cos of it. But
*he* found the house for me and fell in love with it. Mum and Dad didnt
really give me much choice in the matter anyway, they said they werent
looking at anymore houses.....*this* was the one *they* liked. I had to
buy it. So much for being an adult.....and making my own decisions......
Now I'm glad cos I really believe Daddy is here with us, and looking after
us. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes I think I can *feel* him here,
and I'm not given to this type of thing *ever*.

Now I'm driving his car.....and even though it's a bit too small and not
near powerful enough for me ( I really like a car with welly) I'm stuck with
it until it falls apart......Can't imagine telling my mum that I want to
sell it, I wouldn't have the heart anyway, cos of the sentimental value.....

Sooooo the Lambhorgini will have to wait until the next life......in
which...... I'm going to be rich, tall, drop dead gorgeous and have no idea
how to use a drill... I'll have men dropping at my feet to do it for
me........I'm really sick of having to do my own DIY.....lolol...well that's
the plan anyway!....

Dolores

Dolores


 




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