Dr. Phil

'Kate 'Kate wrote in message ...


This may surprise you but some men know darn
well that if they shrink a few sweaters or put something dark in the
white wash a few times, that will be the last time they are ever asked
to do laundry in the house.


And plenty of women know how to stand beside a flat tyred car looking
helpless and letting a gallant male do the job when they are quite capable
of changing the wheel themselves.

Dennis

Joelle wrote in message

I think young babies need mama's in a way that men can't fulfill.

Cobblers!
Why then did (and still does,) Freddie bypass his mother to get to me for
his comfort?
I'll tell you. Because I did 90% of the night feeding, he was only weeks old
initially and I did it until he stopped night feeds. The messages sent
through our eye contact during those precious hours has lasted and I expect
it will continue for some time to come. After the feed I used to nestle him
on my chest with his ear over my heartbeat. He felt safe, secure and at ease
with me, I became his comfort.
If I did it then so can any man. Most never get the opportunity because of
the prevailing attitudes being discussed in this thread.

Dennis

'Kate 'Kate wrote in message

But many mothers can use a breast pump (no, not all)
and most fathers are very good nurturers when given the chance.

I had the chance, I also had the pumped breastmilk initially as Freddie's
mother was quite ill after giving birth. Later, when she was able to "take
over" it never happened so I carried on. I still am!

I wish fathers felt their true value within the family. I think they've
been made to feel superfluous by the changes in society and the more
militant members of the women's rights movement.


Not my generation. Perhaps young men have been influenced more but that
would not be all bad. Getting the balance right seems to be the problem.



A good man is a loving, kind, and considerate father. He stands by his
children and spouse regardless of the ups and downs. He communicates
openly with his wife about the children and works with her as a united
team for the benefit of the family unit. He makes himself available and
takes an interest in the children's interests. He wants to spend time
with them because he genuinely likes them.

As a husband, someone who asks, "How are you doing?" and means it.
Someone who is honest, open, trustworthy and will not betray my
confidences. Someone who sees me as a woman and not just a mother,
housekeeper, or any of the other roles that I take on in life... and one
who cherishes the marriage by doing things that are special to us as a
couple. He would be intelligent and make me laugh but know when it's
time to be serious too. He would not be prone to angry outbursts but be
passionate about life and have a wide range of interests. He must be
able to express himself without being demanding or putting others down.


Hiya 'Kate! [waving] here I am!

Dennis

Andrew wrote in message ...


PS Joelle, don't say things like 'he was older, 35'. It hurts. 35 is not
older, it is prime rib from there till at least 45. (Dennis, help me out
here?? 35-55, your sexiest years???) :-)


Well, that would be for them to decide!

Dennis

Vickychick wrote in message

So right. You must have patience. I am now teaching J and C to iron.

I taught both older boys to iron. When married I used to do most of it
anyway. After seperation I was the one who always sent them to school in an
ironed uniform. Still the same with Freddie's mother, uniform comes back
un-ironed on a Sunday night! Since I started work I have bought another.
Just before I came on line tonight I was supervising Freddie making cakes!
Real man's work. Trouble is we fight over who gets to scrape the bowl!

Dennis

BOTH a male and female child are doing the same chores and I do not
label them as "male or female" roles. That does not fly in my home.
V

'Kate 'Kate wrote in message ...

I can only theorize that the
idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the
economic changes in the operation of the family.


Already changing .

Thirty years ago, men spent an average of 15 minutes a day with their
children. Today, it's three hours. And new research shows it's the amount of
'father time' which is driving down juvenile crime and pushing up levels of
literacy. Mark Honigsbaum meets the family men who are aspiring to be better
dads than their fathers were to them

Sunday November 30, 2003
The Observer
Full article, well worth the read at

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magaz...094709,00.html

Dennis

"Dennis Here" youreply
wrote in message ...

'Kate 'Kate wrote in message ...


This may surprise you but some men know darn
well that if they shrink a few sweaters or put something dark in the
white wash a few times, that will be the last time they are ever asked
to do laundry in the house.


And plenty of women know how to stand beside a flat tyred car looking
helpless and letting a gallant male do the job when they are quite capable
of changing the wheel themselves.

Dennis



You never think about the obvious until its pointed out. That very example
is one I have done many times. I can also recall getting calls on the mobile
to dash over and rescue people by changing tyres. I'm going to have to lie
down and review it all now. Hmm.

Andrew

Dennis Here youreply
wrote in message ...

'Kate 'Kate wrote in message ...


This may surprise you but some men know darn
well that if they shrink a few sweaters or put something dark in the
white wash a few times, that will be the last time they are ever asked
to do laundry in the house.


And plenty of women know how to stand beside a flat tyred car looking
helpless and letting a gallant male do the job when they are quite capable
of changing the wheel themselves.

Dennis



Isn't that what AAA is for? Plus I have this program with my new car. I have
never changed a tire nor due I plan to. I do however, know HOW to thanks to
a mechanic friend. I also know how to change the oil and some other simple
things to a car.

I have dated men who didn't know **** about a car either BTW.

T

Dennis Here youreply
wrote in message ...

Joelle wrote in message

I think young babies need mama's in a way that men can't fulfill.

Cobblers!
Why then did (and still does,) Freddie bypass his mother to get to me for
his comfort?
I'll tell you. Because I did 90% of the night feeding, he was only weeks
old
initially and I did it until he stopped night feeds. The messages sent
through our eye contact during those precious hours has lasted and I
expect
it will continue for some time to come. After the feed I used to nestle
him
on my chest with his ear over my heartbeat. He felt safe, secure and at
ease
with me, I became his comfort.
If I did it then so can any man. Most never get the opportunity because of
the prevailing attitudes being discussed in this thread.

Dennis



I agree with you Dennis. It isn't all about who can breastfeed the child, as
I am sure there is a high percentage of mothers who don't breastfeed
anyways. It is about the parent spending time and nurturing the baby. That
can be done by any sex.

T

And plenty of women know how to stand beside a flat tyred car looking
helpless and letting a gallant male do the job when they are quite capable
of changing the wheel themselves

Actually flat tires are what I pay for Triple A for. Yea, I could do it, but
last time it was raining and I was more than happy to pay someone else to do
it.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle