Isn't it supposed to get better...

"Tina" wrote in message
. com...
and it got to the point where, luckily it was Summer, because I just
had to go sit on the porch where I could hear her, but be far enough
away to relax a little and see if she'd calm down at night. I let it
go on too long, I think, because she got to the point where she was
waking 6-8 times a night at a year old. I was furious, and confused,
because I had no idea what to do. I still don't know what to do, but
I 'toughed' it out (in a way probably not acceptable to many people,
but I was not parenting well due to my own lack of sleep and I needed
to do something).

The night before my 15 month old started sleeping all night, every
night, I was so upset and just felt I couldn't handle the hourly
wakings anymore, and I left her in there and went outside for a few
minutes. Really I was crying and so upset and tired. It was 15-20
minutes of crying (but interestingly it wasn't her typical hysterical
kind, it was more of a fuss!) and then she stopped. I got worried,
went to check on her, adn she had fallen asleep but it woke her up
when I checked on her. I put her in bed with me. The next night she
slept all night, only waking 3-4 times to fuss for a couple of
seconds but by the time I got out of bed she had stopped. Every night
since she has slept all night. I don't know if it was because of that
first night, where she saw she could actually fall asleep without a
breast in her mouth, or what. Her naptime also improved. Of course my
mom commented on me spending 15 months not getting sleep and then she
cries herself to sleep and now she sleeps all night. I felt like total
sh!t letting her cry but I had to get away for a few minutes, I was
getting so resentful of her. She is "high needs" and very
boob-oriented and along with not getting to sleep longer than one or
two hours at a time was just eating away at me. So there is my story.
I am still amazed that I am not waking up at night anymore (except for
dh's snoring, grrrr)
Marie

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
I feel like I am really losing my mind, I am so exhausted. 6 weeks ago
it seemed DS was clearly moving toward sleeping all night. There was
even one night where he only got up once, and only nursed for 5 minutes.
But instead since then things keep getting worse. He has gradually been
getting up more often, and staying up longer. Now he's up to two or
three times a night, for at least 30 and usually 45-60 minutes at a
time. He nurses most of that time, though the last 15-20 minutes or so
are not active eating. I think it could partly be because he is
becoming easily distractable and not nursing as much during the day as
he should (could? would?).
snip

((((Cheryl)))) No advice really, just another person chiming in to say that
I'm experiencing a similar thing with my 4 month old. It does help to see
how many other people have similar experiences, so that I stop feeling like
one or both of us (DS & I) is abnormal! At 3 months, I, too, felt like my DS
might possible be working toward sleeping through the night. He was nursing
only once at night--at about 2:00--and then not again until 6:00 in the
morning (which I considered my morning cut-off--I only count how many times
I nurse him between the hours of 11 & 6 as night time nursing). Sometimes it
would be 1:00 and 5:00. It was great, I was really getting used to it! Then,
about two weeks ago, he started nursing every two hours at night again, with
*maybe* 3 hours between the first two if I'm lucky. I am lucky in that he
doesn't nurse for long--about 15 minutes or less--and he doesn't actually
wake up, just stirs and starts to flail until I pop it in. I felt so
confused about it, because it actually seems like he is legitimately hungry,
not like he is just nursing because I'm right there and he can--he works
hard to make the milk let down and then gulps away, only pulling off when
the breast is "drained" feeling and floppy. Sometimes during the day he will
go over 3 hours between nursings, so I hypothesized that he was making up
for less daytime nursing, with extended night time nursing.

Now, last night he woke to nurse the first time at 2:00 (4 hours and 15
minutes since when he went to sleep) and then every two hours until we got
up. Of course, *I* woke up at 12:00 and laid there staring until after
12:30, thinking he would wake up. I was so incredibly annoying at myself--my
first opportunity in weeks for more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch and I
blew it!

I'm trying to accept that I am never going to get it all figured out
perfectly, because he is constantly growing and changing and I can't
realistically expect him to maintain totally static patterns. He is loosely
predictable. I guess that will have to do! (I am such a planner though and I
just want to figure out the magic answers!). I am lucky though in that he
naps well during the day time and that he will nap alone! knocks wood I
have heard of so many babies that want the mom rightthere while they are
napping.

Good luck Cheryl! Maybe he'll turn a corner in a few weeks and be sleeping
more solidly. It helps to know that I'm not the only one, so I'm really glad
that your post spurred all of these, "I've been there," or "I'm presently
there" posts. :-)

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 4 months old

"Cheryl S." wrote in message ...
"Sharon" wrote in message
om...


Then again, James was sleeping 7+ hours at 2
months as well, and it all went to hell in a handbasket at around 4
months, when he went back to the multiple night feedings.

I wonder why this happens at 4 months so often. It must be related to
all the new things they are suddenly able to, or trying to, do -
rolling, sitting, grasping, in some cases, eating - not to mention
teething. What a bewildering time it must be for a baby!

I think so, although Holly's theories are quite interesting. I have
found that Sophie seems to be able to put herself back to sleep at
this point - I will wake for a moment and hear her grizzling in the
basinette next to me and think I need to feed her, but after a few
minutes she will be quiet again. Before I know it, it is a couple
hours later before she really lets me know that she is hungry. With
James, I had a hard time sleeping through his noise, and I got him up
at the tiniest wimper, which I am sure did not help matters at all. I
learned my lesson this time!

My own opinion with sleep issues (and there are alot of people who
disagree with me) is that babies, to an extent, are just born with
certain sleep temperments.

It makes sense to me. People are born with certain temperaments for
other things, why not sleep? I haven't done anything differently with
Jaden than I did with Julie but I've got quite different results.

James is just like DH - has never needed alot of sleep. He never
napped as an infant much, gave up toddler naps by the time he was 2,
and likes to stay up late and get up late. Sophie is a different
story, or maybe I am just more relaxed about the whole sleep thing
this time around.

Sophie, OTOH, is a dream sleeper - goes down really easily, and is
sleeping 6-7 hours stretches at night now (and has been since about 5
weeks). Of course, I am fully expecting this to eventually change,
being the pessimist that I am, but she could prove me wrong!

Julie was like this - slept from 10:00 pm to 6:00 am, nursed, then went
back to sleep until 8:00 regularly, by the time she was 2 months. Was
sleeping 8pm to 8am by 4-5 months. So far she has continued to sleep
well, so I hope Sophie does to!

I hope so too! She is about to be too big for her bassinette, so we
will be moving her to her crib this weekend - I hope that the move
doesn't disrupt her sleep patterns too much.

Hang in there - I will be sending sleep vibes to Jaden !

Thanks, they must have worked! Last night was pretty good - up only
twice, 30 minutes the first time and 20 minutes the second time.

Good news indeed!

Sharon
Mom to James 6.2.00
and Sophie 12.3.03

"HollyLewis" wrote in message
...
At 4 months I think it has to do with the maturation of the part
of the baby's nervous system that controls sleep. There's an
explanation of it in Meredith Small's book _Our Babies, Ourselves_,
the details of which I can't remember, but IIRC it's at about 4
months that babies' sleep patterns first change from a relatively
random set of awake-asleep cycles to a more environment-
dependent daily rhythym.

That sounds interesting, and plausible. I just put a hold on that book
at my library, so hopefully I'll get to check it out soon. (no pun
intended)

With my DS, he started night waking and nursing right at 4 months;
it was a growth spurt type pattern, and it was hellish but it only
lasted
about a week. Thereafter, he started consistently waking an hour
*later* in the morning than he had been, which was great.

I hope it works out that way for you, Cheryl. :-)

Thanks, I hope so too - but I'm not very optimistic since it's already
been well over a week. Then again all of Jaden's growth spurts have
been terribly long, (10-14 days rather than the 3-5 that I usually hear
about) so maybe there is still hope that he'll pass out of this phase
like your DS did.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 10 mo.
And Jaden, 4.5 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Em" wrote in message
news:_svSb.188121$xy6.964085@attbi_s02...
((((Cheryl)))) No advice really, just another person chiming in
to say that I'm experiencing a similar thing with my 4 month old.

Ai yi yi, you too. I'm sorry to hear that.

I felt so confused about it, because it actually seems like he is
legitimately hungry, not like he is just nursing because I'm right
there and he can--he works hard to make the milk let down
and then gulps away, only pulling off when the breast is "drained"
feeling and floppy.

Yes, Jaden seems 'legitimately' hungry too, and since I don't co-sleep,
I can tell you for sure it isn't just because I'm "right there handy".
He's been working to get about 4 let-downs per session (that I can
tell), which is a *lot* compared to what had been normal for him -
usually 2.

Sometimes during the day he will go over 3 hours between nursings,
so I hypothesized that he was making up for less daytime nursing,
with extended night time nursing.

Something interesting happened today. We were going to go out on a
quick shopping trip. Julie told me, "I think the baby needs to eat."
He wasn't the least bit fussy, not even chewing on his hands or
anything, but I thought, "she's right, I should just offer at least,
since we're going to be out." He ate a ton! I wonder if he's become so
aware and interested in the world that he's not feeling his own hunger
pangs as acutely as he did as a newborn. I'm going to have to pay more
attention to how often he eats during the day and offer more frequently,
I think. I thought I could just nurse on demand, but maybe that's not
working.

Now, last night he woke to nurse the first time at 2:00 (4 hours and
15 minutes since when he went to sleep) and then every two hours
until we got up. Of course, *I* woke up at 12:00 and laid there
staring until after 12:30, thinking he would wake up. I was so
incredibly annoying at myself--my first opportunity in weeks for
more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch and I blew it!

Oh, do I hate when that happens. Never wait for a baby to wake up.
It's like watching a pot boil. ;-) About a month ago there was
actually a week where Jaden slept 6+ hours three times in that one week!
But the first two times it happened, *Julie* was up right in the middle
of Jaden's long sleep. She almost *never* gets up at night, so I was
feeling soooo star-crossed that of all nights, those would be the ones.
And not once, but twice! What were the odds?

I'm trying to accept that I am never going to get it all figured out
perfectly, because he is constantly growing and changing and I can't
realistically expect him to maintain totally static patterns.

Yep. People used to ask me Julie's schedule during her first year and I
always said, "I don't know. As soon as I've got it figured out, she
changes it."

Good luck Cheryl! Maybe he'll turn a corner in a few weeks and be
sleeping more solidly. It helps to know that I'm not the only one, so
I'm really glad that your post spurred all of these, "I've been
there,"
or "I'm presently there" posts. :-)

Good luck to you too! I'm glad you got some reassurance too. It
somehow makes (almost) anything seem tolerable to think of it as
"normal".
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 10 mo.
And Jaden, 4.5 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.