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#1
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I need a bit of Help...
My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have split on good terms
and all, I need to find out if any one has ever had shared custody where Mom had the kids 6 months out of the year and Dad had them the other 6. I would like to find out what the out come was of this also Thanks, Joni |
#2
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I need a bit of Help...
"Joni" wrote in message om... My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have split on good terms and all, I need to find out if any one has ever had shared custody where Mom had the kids 6 months out of the year and Dad had them the other 6. I would like to find out what the out come was of this also I have not heard of this arrangement. It seems that it is a bad arrangement. I could see maybe switching weeks (If the parents live near each other), but not 6 month periods. It seems that every time there is a switch in parent, it will be really traumatic for the kid. Usually, the kid(s) lives with one parent, and the parents alternate weekends and holidays, and one of the parents gets the kids for a few weeks or even a month or two over the summer. If the parents live far apart, this is harder, with school and stuff. It seems like this is a question that you need to discuss with your lawyers, too. Jeff Thanks, Joni |
#3
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I need a bit of Help...
Joni wrote:
My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have split on good terms and all, I need to find out if any one has ever had shared custody where Mom had the kids 6 months out of the year and Dad had them the other 6. I would like to find out what the out come was of this also How near each other will you live? I think it's much more likely to be workable if you live so near each other that the kids wouldn't be uprooted from their community every six months. On the other hand, if you lived that close anyway, I would probably be more inclined to swap more frequently just because if I were going to be a custodial parent half time and a non-custodial parent half time, I'd rather have my chunks of custodial time in smaller bits. I'd rather not save up all the things that are more convenient to do without kids for six months, and I'd rather not do without my kids for that long. Is there an impediment to switching more frequently, say, every month or even every fortnight? (Or did you just mean a situation where Mom and Dad each have equal time, rather than switching every six months?) Best wishes, Ericka |
#4
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I need a bit of Help...
"Joni" wrote in message om... My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have split on good terms and all, I need to find out if any one has ever had shared custody where Mom had the kids 6 months out of the year and Dad had them the other 6. I would like to find out what the out come was of this also Thanks, Not a good idea. It's too unstable for the kids. How old are they? What do they think? As a child of divorce, I say they need a place to call home. Spending 6 mos. here, 6 mos. there would make them feel like visitors and not like they belong. If they are old enough, ask for their input. It would make them feel like their feelings matter. The convenience of the parents always seem to trump the kids in custody decisions. No one seems to care if the kid wants to spend some weekends with a friend or just hanging out but now has to spend them all with non-custodial parent or maybe they are in a team sport and have to leave mid-season to spend the other 6 months at dad's, etc. I was older, so it didn't affect me so much, but I could see a problem for my brother. Stability is important, so is respect for the child's time. |
#5
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I need a bit of Help...
In article , Joni says...
My husband and I are getting a divorce. We have split on good terms and all, I need to find out if any one has ever had shared custody where Mom had the kids 6 months out of the year and Dad had them the other 6. I would like to find out what the out come was of this also Thanks, Joni I've known a couple of cases where this was done for a couple of years. You know of course, this scheme falls apart once a child reaches school age unless they're homeschooled. The biggest concern in my mind is - when I've seen this happening, it's because one or both parents aren't putting the child(ren)'s well-being in the proper place in their lives - that is - one or even both parents are living wherever suits them, leading to the two being so far apart such an arrangement would be considered. So's it was this evident lack of committment, rather than the 6/6 arrangement, that became pretty manifest as a problem. Banty |
#6
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I need a bit of Help...
Banty wrote:
I've known a couple of cases where this was done for a couple of years. You know of course, this scheme falls apart once a child reaches school age unless they're homeschooled. Why does everyone assume that the divorced parents will not live near each other? I know a couple sets of divorced parents who live very near each other--same school district, still near all the kids' friends, still able to participate in all the same activities. The kids have their own rooms at both homes and move back and forth quite freely. None of them rotate on a six month basis, though. They all swap more frequently. I agree that if the parents live further apart, then the situation is rather untenable. If they're nearby, though, why not? Best wishes, Ericka |
#7
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I need a bit of Help...
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message news will not live near each other? I know a couple sets of divorced parents who live very near each other--same school district, still near all the kids' friends, still able to participate in all the same activities. The kids have their own rooms at both homes and move back and forth quite freely. None of them rotate on a six month basis, though. They all swap more frequently. I agree that if the parents live further apart, then the situation is rather untenable. If they're nearby, though, why not? Because the kids need to feel they belong somewhere. It's fine if the kids go back and forth freely, but they need to feel they have a home base, not living out of a suitcase, not everything always temporary. |
#8
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I need a bit of Help...
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#9
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I need a bit of Help...
In article , Ericka Kammerer says...
Banty wrote: I've known a couple of cases where this was done for a couple of years. You know of course, this scheme falls apart once a child reaches school age unless they're homeschooled. Why does everyone assume that the divorced parents will not live near each other? I know a couple sets of divorced parents who live very near each other--same school district, still near all the kids' friends, still able to participate in all the same activities. The kids have their own rooms at both homes and move back and forth quite freely. None of them rotate on a six month basis, though. They all swap more frequently. I agree that if the parents live further apart, then the situation is rather untenable. If they're nearby, though, why not? ?? Did you read my whole post before you posted? Or am I missing something. Banty |
#10
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I need a bit of Help...
toypup wrotem in part:
As a child of divorce, I say they need a place to call home. Spending 6 mos. here, 6 mos. there would make them feel like visitors and not like they belong. I remember once reading about a divorce where the judge ordered an interesting set-up. The kids lived in the house full-time, and the parents were the ones who were forced to come and go. Brilliant! -- Sara, accompanied by the baby barnacle |
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