Need Advice: Breastfeeding with 3 older (13+) stepson's

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
Frisbee® wrote:

I've read a few of the replies in this thread, and while I agree that you
should definitely breastfeed (my wife breast-fed our twins), it should
definitely be done in private.

I understand your intentions are good, but do you
understand the repercussions of this statement?

I phrased it poorly.

It most
definitely makes breastfeeding a difficult and isolating
chore for women.

That was not my intention.

Many babies spend quite a lot of time at
the breast. You cannot always predict when they will need
to eat. Breastfeeding only in private means that most women
will give up breastfeeding early because they're going stir
crazy and are unable to carry on with their lives because
they can't go anywhere for fear that they'll be caught out
in public when they need to nurse. (And believe me, public
restrooms and such are *NOT* an acceptable alternative most
of the time.) So, keeping it in private is an absolutely
unacceptable solution, in my opinion. I've spent about
four years of my life breastfeeding, and breastfed in
public whenever necessary or convenient for all of it.
I never got a single dirty look or comment. It is entirely
possible to breastfeed discreetly in public. Anyone who's
seeing too much when a woman is breastfeeding discreetly
is actively looking for trouble.

I should note that I was referring ONLY to the situation at home. As far as
BF in public, screw the people that can't handle that. My point is meant to
be directly applied to this particular home situation.

One reply highlighted that breast-feeding is not sexual. While you are
correct in that statement, these are teenage boys who are NOT
blood-related to "step-mom." It -will- be sexual to them.

I don't believe that's necessarily true. I'm sure it'll
be odd and maybe even uncomfortable at first, but they will very
quickly get to the point that they don't give a rip and just
want to make sure baby gets fed and stops fussing quickly.

As a teenager, it would not have been odd or uncomfortable to me. It would
have been VERY sexually arousing. I'm not kidding. At thirteen, (or for
that matter, eighteen), I'd have made any excuse to watch it. Watching my
own wife (who googles my posts) BF our twins was quite arousing. While I
believe that for a majority of men BF-ing in general is a turn-off, there
are many of us for whom it is a turn-on. But even for teens for whom the
BF-ing act itself might be a turn-off, I doubt very many teenage boys (who
are straight) would miss out on an opportunity to see bared breasts. This
is all I'm saying. Again, in public, you know what you're dealing with in
that it is what it is. Discretion is always a good idea, when possible
(when not possible, screw 'em!) but it would be, in my humble opinion, even
more important when BF-ing in front of teenagers that are not your own kids.
Unless you don't mind that you very well may have caused some "stirrings."
Believe me, I'm not a prude, but I know how I would react in that situation
(as a teenage boy).

It's sometimes uncomfortable enough for a teenage boy to see his
biological mother breastfeeding, but in the case of mom being step-mom,
the guilt of ogling your own mother's breasts is not there, she's not
related.

I don't buy that either. I suspect most step-sons would
feel guilty about ogling, but you know what? There's a *really*
easy cure for that. They can choose not to ogle.

They can certainly choose not to ogle, but since you've never experienced
the raging hormones that most teenage boys experience, I doubt you'd
understand the incredible self-control that would require. I'm not saying
that's right, I am saying it's natural, however.

While I don't think this would mess them up, so to speak, it's still a
pretty good idea to be as discrete about this as possible.

I would definitely agree that discretion is appropriate.
However, saying a woman must avoid breastfeeding in public AND
ALSO in her own home whenever one of four family members happens
to be around is just way beyond the pale in my opinion. I can't
imagine hardly anyone breastfeeding beyond a week or two under
those circumstances. Who'd want to live like that? I just don't
think you can claim to be "supportive" of breastfeeding on the
one hand, and then impose so many restrictions on it that practically
no sane person would continue to do it. One of the things
many women need the most after having a baby is support and
companionship. Handing her a baby that needs to eat frequently
(and possible for long stretches of time) and then telling her
to go away every time she needs to nurse can have lots of
negative consequences.

I'm not imposing any restrictions. I am merely suggesting that the mother
be as discrete as possible. It's not like the consequences are
life-threatening if she can't be discrete, and again, I am emphasizing the
importance only at home and only because of her special situation. You're
implying I'm a hippocrate. I am merely offering some suggestion to help
avoid some potentially uncomfortable situations because having once been a
teenage boy, I can anticipate what the reaction will most likely be of her
step-sons. I am 100% behind breast-feeding, for many reasons, admitedly
some of them even selfish, but most importantly for the health of the
children. Yet at the same time, whenever one -can- avoid offending people,
or in this case, arousing people, one should strive to do so if possible.
If it's not possible, then forget about it. Baby comes first.

Is that any clearer?