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#1
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GAL Report / looking for comments!
What does one make of a GAL's report that states "while Plantiff may
parent from a motel room, she choses not to" In this case, we have a two year old home and the child (my step-son) has his own room, clothes, toys and belongings here. I raised my three daughters always believing that one of the most important things one could do for there children was to provide a home that gave them the sense of safety and security. It seems to me that parenting on weekends from a transient location such as a motel room would certainly not provide the feeling of stabilty and security to a child, let alone the added expense of renting a room for 2 or 3 nights. It really makes me wonder what New Jersey uses as a criteria for their Court appointed Guardian ad litems. Would love to have input on this matter! Thank You! |
#2
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GAL Report / looking for comments!
On Aug 15, 7:01 pm, (:\) Happy) wrote:
What does one make of a GAL's report that states "while Plantiff may parent from a motel room, she choses not to" In this case, we have a two year old home and the child (my step-son) has his own room, clothes, toys and belongings here. I raised my three daughters always believing that one of the most important things one could do for there children was to provide a home that gave them the sense of safety and security. It seems to me that parenting on weekends from a transient location such as a motel room would certainly not provide the feeling of stabilty and security to a child, let alone the added expense of renting a room for 2 or 3 nights. It really makes me wonder what New Jersey uses as a criteria for their Court appointed Guardian ad litems. Would love to have input on this matter! Thank You! The system is driven by money. The CP has hostage of the child, which due to current CS guidelines = hostage of money. The issue, for the most part is not GAL criteria, but rather who is willing to sell out. Being a GAL can be a lucruative direction at least for a psychologist. Not every single GAL sells out, but the vast majority do. They do so because for the most part better attorneys take the CP's side since their fees are better protected in the typical financial division. When a GAL is known to side strongly with the CP it makes is more likely that the CP attorney will push for that GAL rather than another. Most NCP attorneys are either clueless, burned out, or just go through the motions because the outcome is largely predetermined. Mine wasn't but most are. Just as with attorneys, the psychologist/social worker either won't take custody cases or if they do they get sick of being beat up by the system and side with the CP. This is another of the NCP traps and one which is very difficult to avoid. (Just for perspective I was a practicing psychologist and in my own divorce I did have a very fair and balanced GAL.) Anyway, in your situation you now have an "expert" looking out for the "best" interests of the child as determined by a binding court order. I don't believe you are going to win this one. BTW I completely agree with you over the important of providing a child with a stable home, if at all possible. It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP. What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. Focus on being available to your child; focus on good shared times together. (I know this is painful, it hurts me to even write this.) Once the child is older 12? (depends on the state) you can then file a motion for change. Don |
#3
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GAL Report / looking for comments!
"don_1228" wrote in It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP. What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. \ Tries? The system is designed to mow down NCP's and there is no hope of recovery! It's ironic that the Federal government will send millions of dollars to fix a bridge, billions if the wind blows down some houses, even a trillion to fix a couple desert countries in the middle east, but they will spend thousands to prosecute a dead broke father who doesn't have any money. |
#4
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GAL Report / looking for comments!
On Aug 16, 10:13 am, "DB" wrote:
"don_1228" wrote in It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP. What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. \ Tries? The system is designed to mow down NCP's and there is no hope of recovery! Yes, tries....I guess that is about the only place we disagree. I don't feel mowed down. I have permanent sadness from my son being taken from me when he was four years old. Though I did my best to continue to maintain my connection with him and at one point that was all that stopped me from leaving the country. (He's nearly 20 now.) I have a loving relationship with my son, it's not as close as I would like but it is more than most have, including intact families. I have rebuilt my life. I am not where I would have been if I hadn't paid about $0.5M in CS and legal fees or having to make various mid-life career choices in light of custody and child support guidelines. But I don't find constant advice that every NCP's life is over to be either accurate or helpful. If you are talking about recovery in terms of society moving back to any semblance of rationality over CS laws then I fully agree with you (at least for the next generation, probably longer). But if you are saying that every NCP must abandon all hope well IMO that is not only inaccurate but worse it directly and perfectly feeds into maintaining the current mess. Don |
#5
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GAL Report / looking for comments! Don
Thanks for the response. It is a very sad situation. The CP is a very
munipulating person who makes "deals" by using his son. It is the only way for him to continue to punish my wife for divorcing him. He manages to get away with everything! He attacked the arbitrator in their case to the Judge who told him he ought to appoligize or face a libel suit. He did appoligize thru his attorney, but the arbitrator then refused to clarify things in the case because of the conflict of interest that he created. I don't know where this will end! Thanks again for the responses! |
#6
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GAL Report / looking for comments! Don
On Aug 16, 10:36 pm, (:\) Happy) wrote:
Thanks for the response. It is a very sad situation. The CP is a very munipulating person who makes "deals" by using his son. It is the only way for him to continue to punish my wife for divorcing him. He manages to get away with everything! He attacked the arbitrator in their case to the Judge who told him he ought to appoligize or face a libel suit. He did appoligize thru his attorney, but the arbitrator then refused to clarify things in the case because of the conflict of interest that he created. I don't know where this will end! Thanks again for the responses! Here's the deal...the governments figure the mother will probably need their government assistance if she were alone and you were the custodial parents. Therefore, they allow the mother the custody of the children, with child support, in the hopes that they can squeeze enough out of your husband so that the mother doesn't qualify/need the government assistance any longer...and that my friends, is pretty much it in a nutshell! |
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