What's AP?

I ran into it a few times today and contextually can't figure it out?
Alternative parenting???
Clue me in

Lisa

Zucca4 wrote:

I ran into it a few times today and contextually can't figure it out?
Alternative parenting???
Clue me in

It's short for Attachment Parenting.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

Zucca4 wrote:
I ran into it a few times today and contextually can't figure it out?
Alternative parenting???

Attachment parenting: see http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

It's a parenting style that promotes developing and maintaining a close bond
with your child; AP parents tend to babywear, cosleep, breastfeed for more
than a year, abhor "cry-it-out" methods, and avoid long separations.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

"iphigenia" wrote in message
...
Zucca4 wrote:
I ran into it a few times today and contextually can't figure it out?
Alternative parenting???

Attachment parenting: see http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

It's a parenting style that promotes developing and maintaining a close
bond
with your child; AP parents tend to babywear, cosleep, breastfeed for more
than a year, abhor "cry-it-out" methods, and avoid long separations.

However, it must be noted that AP does not REQUIRE all of these things,
You can be AP and feed your baby formula. You can be AP and have your baby
in a crib in another room (though man, it'd do awful things to your sleep,
having to run in there to tend to baby's cries!). You can be AP and *never*
wear the baby - some babies don't even like to be worn.

The biggest point of AP is to be aware of the child's personality and needs,
and meet them. It means if the baby sleeps best in bed next to you, then you
put him there rather than leaving him to cry in another room. If you decide
to feed formula for whatever reason, you hold the baby, talk to the baby,
and interact with the baby - never prop his bottle and leave him alone. If
he needs to be held to be happy, you find a way to do it. But conversely, if
he sleeps better in a crib, you respect that. And so on.

Some people will try to make it out to be a rigid philosphy, and tack things
like non-vaccination and so on, onto it. I would only call non-vaccination
an AP issue if the parent knows the child has had a true adverse reaction to
a vaccination, and chooses to read the child rather than follow standard
recommendations to continue the vaccine series. And even that has less to do
with "attachment" and more to do with medical issues.

I'm not really AP myself, I don't think. While I do practice child-led
weaning (to a degree - Emmaline was 5 when she stopped for good, and
Alexandra was 3 1/2 when my milk dried up due to pregnancy), and co-sleeping
until about the age of 2, I do not carry my infant around all the time (back
won't tolerate it), and yes, we do give, ah, motivational swats on the
backside. Which is strictly a no-no in AP philosophy (though it's sad how
many "AP" moms I've heard talk about how they don't spank, but they find
themselves screaming hysterically at their children for various reasons.
Like that's somehow better. )

AP is also, now that you mention it, Alternative Parenting. It is not
mainstream. It does not expect babies to sleep through by 8 weeks, it does
not simply expect babies to be weaned to formula by 3 months, it does not
countenance leaving babies to cry themselves to sleep. It pretty much
doesn't fit with almost anything you'd read in 'Parenting' or 'Child' or
whatever magazine. So that's not a bad acronym either.

--angela

Chotii wrote:

However, it must be noted that AP does not REQUIRE all of these
things,

You'll note that I wrote "tend to" : )

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
reminds me of the statement "hippy is a way of thinking not a way of
dressing"

Heh, I like that.

I think that I am probably and APer, but I don't fit into the
above very well at all, in particular we've recently let ds cry,
because
he seems to have nightmares, if we go to comfort him he wakes up,
making the whole situation worse! he quitens in 2 mins, any longer
and we know he does need us!

To me that actually does fit with AP - you are in tune with what his
actual needs are, and IMO sleep *is* a very important one of a child's
needs. Two minutes is no big deal especially since it doesn't even wake
him up! Going in to comfort him just bevause some AP book says to,
rather than doing what works best for your DS as you are, would
ironically be non-AP. ;-)
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 10 mo.
And Jaden, 4.5 months

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

"Chotii" wrote in message
...
You can be AP and have your baby
in a crib in another room (though man, it'd do awful things to
your sleep, having to run in there to tend to baby's cries!).

This is me. Recent posts notwithstanding it does far worse things to my
sleep to have my kids in the same room with me (I have done this on a
few occasions for various reasons), let alone the same bed, than having
to walk a couple yards on the occasions when they cry. DD slept 12
hours straight from very early on, so no cries to tend to at all. DS is
now up 2-3 times, but getting up 2-3 times is a lot better for me than
waking up 10-15 times a night when he doesn't even need anything, he
just breathed extra loud, for example. Being in a crib doesn't bother
either one of them (though DD just recently started wanting her own bed
and will be getting one for her birthday (!) ). Not trying to wage a
"what is AP" war but just sharing my experience. ;-)

The biggest point of AP is to be aware of the child's personality
and needs, and meet them.

One of the best books I've read on this is _Everday Blessings: The Inner
Work of Mindful Parenting_ by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I just have to
give it a plug because I never hear anyone else mention it. It is very
helpful wrt the "awareness" part of the above sentence, and you can't
meet needs if you aren't aware of them. The biggest lesson I took from
it is to always relate to your child as he is *now*, not as he was last
month, last week, or even an hour ago. Children are constantly
changing, and thinking and feeling in new ways.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 10 mo.
And Jaden, 4.5 months

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
...
"Chotii" wrote in message
...
You can be AP and have your baby
in a crib in another room (though man, it'd do awful things to
your sleep, having to run in there to tend to baby's cries!).

This is me. Recent posts notwithstanding it does far worse things to my
sleep to have my kids in the same room with me (I have done this on a
few occasions for various reasons), let alone the same bed, than having
to walk a couple yards on the occasions when they cry. DD slept 12
hours straight from very early on, so no cries to tend to at all. DS is
now up 2-3 times, but getting up 2-3 times is a lot better for me than
waking up 10-15 times a night when he doesn't even need anything, he
just breathed extra loud, for example. Being in a crib doesn't bother
either one of them (though DD just recently started wanting her own bed
and will be getting one for her birthday (!) ). Not trying to wage a
"what is AP" war but just sharing my experience. ;-)

The biggest point of AP is to be aware of the child's personality
and needs, and meet them.

One of the best books I've read on this is _Everday Blessings: The Inner
Work of Mindful Parenting_ by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I just have to
give it a plug because I never hear anyone else mention it. It is very
helpful wrt the "awareness" part of the above sentence, and you can't
meet needs if you aren't aware of them. The biggest lesson I took from
it is to always relate to your child as he is *now*, not as he was last
month, last week, or even an hour ago. Children are constantly
changing, and thinking and feeling in new ways.

That's a really good point, I have only just realised that now I am onto
number two. With DS1 I used to get upset when his patterns changed,
wondering what I had done wrong etc.. but as DS2 hit four months this week
and his patterns changed it sort of hit me. He is just changing and growing
up, there's nothing "wrong" at all! It makes life a hell of a lot easier
when you realise that :-) I am going to look for that book.

Judy

--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 10 mo.
And Jaden, 4.5 months

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

"Cheryl S." wrote in message ...
"Chotii" wrote in message
...
You can be AP and have your baby
in a crib in another room (though man, it'd do awful things to
your sleep, having to run in there to tend to baby's cries!).

This is me. Recent posts notwithstanding it does far worse things to my
sleep to have my kids in the same room with me (I have done this on a
few occasions for various reasons), let alone the same bed, than having
to walk a couple yards on the occasions when they cry. DD slept 12
hours straight from very early on, so no cries to tend to at all. DS is
now up 2-3 times, but getting up 2-3 times is a lot better for me than
waking up 10-15 times a night when he doesn't even need anything, he
just breathed extra loud, for example. Being in a crib doesn't bother
either one of them (though DD just recently started wanting her own bed
and will be getting one for her birthday (!) ). Not trying to wage a
"what is AP" war but just sharing my experience. ;-)

And I'm another one who does the exact same thing! Co-sleeping only
works if it means everyone is sleeping better - if mom can't sleep,
it's not a good solution!


The biggest point of AP is to be aware of the child's personality
and needs, and meet them.

One of the best books I've read on this is _Everday Blessings: The Inner
Work of Mindful Parenting_ by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I just have to
give it a plug because I never hear anyone else mention it. It is very
helpful wrt the "awareness" part of the above sentence, and you can't
meet needs if you aren't aware of them. The biggest lesson I took from
it is to always relate to your child as he is *now*, not as he was last
month, last week, or even an hour ago. Children are constantly
changing, and thinking and feeling in new ways.
--
Sounds like a good book, and the part of AP that I try to adopt.

Irene
mom to Thomas 7/01
& Marcus or Gwendolyn EDD 4/04

Kereru wrote:
That's a really good point, I have only just realised that now I am
onto number two. With DS1 I used to get upset when his patterns
changed, wondering what I had done wrong etc.. but as DS2 hit four
months this week and his patterns changed it sort of hit me. He is
just changing and growing up, there's nothing "wrong" at all!

I agree - seems like it would be a good thing for many parents, especially
first-time parents, to read. I know that a lot of first-timers (me included,
when DS was little) feel so crazy in the first days, then finally they start
to get to know the baby and feel like they've sort of got a handle on
things. And then the baby changes, and the parents feel all crazy again. But
if you realize, this is what babies do, it's normal, then it's a little
easier to go with the flow, than if you're worried that something's wrong or
you're doing it wrong.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."