Child Custody Change

Hey all, maybe you've heard of me before. Please keep it under your hat.

I have joint physical custody of my 5-year-old son, and am supposed to
have him in my care 50% of the time. This has been the case until a
little over a month ago.

His mother lives alone with 2 cats and a dog. Her chronic severe
depression mean that she doesn't keep the cleanest of houses in the best
of times, but around the beginning of October her place began to smell
so bad that I would gag when she opened the door. I would frequently
have to change my son's clothes immediately on getting home because they
smelled of permeated animal waste from his mother's house.

At first I gave her a couple of days to clean up the place, but I almost
vomited one morning when I dropped my son off (I saw flies in the
apartment too), and that was the final straw. I spoke with her and
luckily she agreed that her place was not fit for a small child to sleep
in. She said she knew the problem was one of her cats that keeps peeing
on everything, and that she didn't want to clean the carpet until she
got rid of the cat at a "no-kill shelter" she'd heard of. I offered to
take our son every night until she got rid of the cat and cleaned the
carpet, and she agreed.

That was over a month ago. Initially she said she would get rid of the
cat and take care of the carpet within a week, then two weeks. Then she
took our son on a vacation with her family for a week (her family live
almost out of state and never see her place -- no one ever does). On
her return, the cat and carpet were unchanged. The smell was not quite
so bad, but none of what she had promised had been done. She dropped
him off to me without complaint.

I continue to pay child support as I am ordered to do. I drop my son
off to his mother every morning where he stays for four hours before
school and half an hour after school, then pick him up after work every day.

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough
rope to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a
year or so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.

I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just
looking for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if
I keep on the path I'm on. If I give it a year, transfer our son to the
school system in my town, and then file for custody, what's my likely
chances?

Thanks,

Secret Asian Man!

"Secret Asian Man" wrote in

I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if


Wake up man, can you not see that your child is clearly in danger of getting
infected with some form of illness?
Call Child welfare and they will immediately remove the child from that home
and award you full custody.

No more child support, no lawyers to pay, and you are acting in the best
interest of your child!

What are you waiting for?

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough rope
to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat, or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet, and
make changes in YOUR home?



I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if I keep on
the path I'm on. If I give it a year, transfer our son to the school
system in my town, and then file for custody, what's my likely chances?

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement? Request mediation (which I believe is generally ordered
when a change in primary placement is requested) and take it from there?



Thanks,

Secret Asian Man!

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the phone
and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child has
to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible conditions?

On Wed, 23 Nov 2005 03:28:25 GMT, "DB"
wrote:


"Secret Asian Man" wrote in

I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if


Wake up man, can you not see that your child is clearly in danger of getting
infected with some form of illness?
Call Child welfare and they will immediately remove the child from that home
and award you full custody.

No more child support, no lawyers to pay, and you are acting in the best
interest of your child!

What are you waiting for?


1. Child is not currently living in that home
2. Father wouldn't get the child either, if removed, because he uses
the cesspool like daycare, dropping the child off before school and
picking child up after school. He will be found just as guilty as
mother by child protection.
3. If child is taken by child protection, he will probably pay more in
child support.
4. The law seems to frown upon using child protection as a means to
secure custody.

Seeking the advice of a lawyer before doing anything rash would be the
smartest course of action.

If the situation is as bad as he describes, why is he still dropping
the kid off to her? Why hasn't he contacted his lawyer, her family, or
the authorities?

Obviously, he's blowing things out of proportion. Ex-spouses often call
child services with unfounded and exaggerated claims of horrid living
conditions.

He probably doesn't like her cat since he seems to focus on it.

DB wrote:
"Moon Shyne" wrote in

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the phone
and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child has
to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible conditions?

"DB" wrote in message
. com...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the phone
and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child has
to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible
conditions?

Of course not - though I recognize that all anyone has is whatever he's
chosen to post to an internet newsgroup, which may or may not have any basis
in reality.

I wonder, though, about ANY person who thinks they have the right to get rid
of some else's pet, or make changes in someone else's home.

Don't you?

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough
rope
to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat, or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet, and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.




I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just
looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if I keep
on
the path I'm on. If I give it a year, transfer our son to the school
system in my town, and then file for custody, what's my likely chances?

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

What do you mean by "keep him with you"?

Request mediation (which I believe is generally ordered
when a change in primary placement is requested) and take it from there?



Thanks,

Secret Asian Man!

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"DB" wrote in message
. com...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the
phone
and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child
has
to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible
conditions?

Of course not - though I recognize that all anyone has is whatever he's
chosen to post to an internet newsgroup, which may or may not have any
basis
in reality.

I wonder, though, about ANY person who thinks they have the right to get
rid
of some else's pet, or make changes in someone else's home.

Don't you?

Nowhere did he ever state that he had the right to do ANYTHING in her home.

"DB" wrote in message
om...

"Secret Asian Man" wrote in

I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just
looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if


Wake up man, can you not see that your child is clearly in danger of
getting
infected with some form of illness?
Call Child welfare and they will immediately remove the child from that
home
and award you full custody.

Dream on.


No more child support, no lawyers to pay, and you are acting in the best
interest of your child!

What are you waiting for?