Child Custody Change

"Chris" wrote in message
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"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"DB" wrote in message
. com...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the
phone
and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child
has
to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible
conditions?

Of course not - though I recognize that all anyone has is whatever he's
chosen to post to an internet newsgroup, which may or may not have any
basis
in reality.

I wonder, though, about ANY person who thinks they have the right to get
rid
of some else's pet, or make changes in someone else's home.

Don't you?

Nowhere did he ever state that he had the right to do ANYTHING in her
home.

Ah - so he stated he was thinking about getting rid of her cat and washing
her carpets for the helluvit?

"Chris" wrote in message
news:57chf.8065$dv.5712@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to make
a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough
rope
to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year
or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get
rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat, or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet,
and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.

Of course - he only stated he was thinking about doing those things. Got
it.





I know the answer is "see a lawyer", and I intend to. I was just
looking
for some feedback from this group on what might likely happen if I keep
on
the path I'm on. If I give it a year, transfer our son to the school
system in my town, and then file for custody, what's my likely chances?

Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

What do you mean by "keep him with you"?

Request mediation (which I believe is generally ordered
when a change in primary placement is requested) and take it from there?



Thanks,

Secret Asian Man!

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:57chf.8065$dv.5712@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to make
a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough
rope
to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year
or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get
rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat,
or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet,
and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.

Of course - he only stated he was thinking about doing those things. Got
it.




Here is what he said:

I spoke with her and
luckily she agreed that her place was not fit for a small child to sleep
in. She said she knew the problem was one of her cats that keeps peeing
on everything, and that she didn't want to clean the carpet until she
got rid of the cat at a "no-kill shelter" she'd heard of.

She admits to having an unfit home but can't seem to do anything about it.
She is probably severely depressed and one can only wonder at what other
neglect is happening.

Though I don't agree that the father should call Child Protection YET, he
should be documenting everything, pics and all.

A parent has every right to request changes if a living situation is
harmful.

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
news:Trihf.3482$Qs2.2215@trnddc03...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:57chf.8065$dv.5712@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to
make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough
rope
to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year
or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get
rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat,
or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet,
and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.

Of course - he only stated he was thinking about doing those things. Got
it.




Here is what he said:

I spoke with her and
luckily she agreed that her place was not fit for a small child to sleep
in. She said she knew the problem was one of her cats that keeps peeing
on everything, and that she didn't want to clean the carpet until she
got rid of the cat at a "no-kill shelter" she'd heard of.

She admits to having an unfit home but can't seem to do anything about it.
She is probably severely depressed and one can only wonder at what other
neglect is happening.

Though I don't agree that the father should call Child Protection YET, he
should be documenting everything, pics and all.

A parent has every right to request changes if a living situation is
harmful.

He also said:

or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.




T

Moon Shyne wrote:
"Chris" wrote in message
news:c7chf.8066$dv.6415@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"DB" wrote in message
gy.com...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in


Why not simply keep him with you, as you've been doing, and file for
physical placement?

He doesn't have to file for anything, all he needs to do is lift the

phone

and have child services take a look at the putrid conditions the child

has

to live in. Would you allow your child to live in such terrible
conditions?

Of course not - though I recognize that all anyone has is whatever he's
chosen to post to an internet newsgroup, which may or may not have any

basis

in reality.

I wonder, though, about ANY person who thinks they have the right to get

rid

of some else's pet, or make changes in someone else's home.

Don't you?

Nowhere did he ever state that he had the right to do ANYTHING in her
home.


Ah - so he stated he was thinking about getting rid of her cat and washing
her carpets for the helluvit?

Actually it was my EX-WIFE who claimed that the reason her apartment
smelled horrid was that her cat was whizzing on everything instead of
using the litter box. Personally I think this is because she doesn't
keep the box clean (years ago she kept a plastic tub the size of a large
laundry basket for a litter box and never cleaned it, she just kept
adding more and more litter as it filled up until she couldn't move it).

We reached an agreement that I would keep our son as much as possible
(all the time except for a handful of hours per day before and after
school). SHE told ME she would get rid of the cat and wash the carpets.
She has failed to do this. Moreover, she hasn't made any complaints
about my having our son the vast majority of the time.

I hesitate to sue for full custody at the moment for a few reasons:

* If I contact CPS, they may just remove our son from her apartment and
place him in a home, without letting me care for him. This would
traumatize him.

* He is attending school in her district. Next year we plan to move him
to mine. Waiting for this to happen seems like a smart move because
it's a point in my favor if he is enrolled in my town, not hers.

* Also, next year he'll be in school all day and won't even need the few
hours per day that I need her to watch him.

* Ex-wife and I are on good terms and I don't want to jeopardize that
unless I'm relatively certain that I will win custody.

You tell me, do you think a house with cats ****ing on everything and
carpets reeking of cat waste is a good place for a small kid? I suppose
if you were in my shoes you would never have mentioned the problem, eh?
For fear of seeming "aggressive"?

I pity your kids, then.

Moon Shyne wrote:

"Tiffany" wrote in message
news:Trihf.3482$Qs2.2215@trnddc03...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:57chf.8065$dv.5712@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to
make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough

rope

to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year
or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get
rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat,
or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet,
and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.

Of course - he only stated he was thinking about doing those things. Got
it.



Here is what he said:

I spoke with her and
luckily she agreed that her place was not fit for a small child to sleep
in. She said she knew the problem was one of her cats that keeps peeing
on everything, and that she didn't want to clean the carpet until she
got rid of the cat at a "no-kill shelter" she'd heard of.

She admits to having an unfit home but can't seem to do anything about it.
She is probably severely depressed and one can only wonder at what other
neglect is happening.

Though I don't agree that the father should call Child Protection YET, he
should be documenting everything, pics and all.

A parent has every right to request changes if a living situation is
harmful.


He also said:

or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.

Yes. We had an agreement on what would happen before our son slept at
her place. SHE agreed without any coersion on my part. I never
threatened to call CPS on her.

Now my choices a

1. Call CPS and/or sue for full custody now
2. Release her from our agreement and ask her to take our son half of
the time again
3. Step on her heels about getting rid of the cat and washing the carpet

This woman is depressive and doesn't do much unless someone is prodding
her to do it. She's like a big kid. I got tired of prodding her all of
the time and being painted as the "bad guy" because of it. This is one
reason our marriage didn't work out.

Now she's free to sleep in cat **** if she wants to, or her own **** for
that matter. I don't care. What I DO care about is that our son
doesn't have to share that fate.

Truth be told, her apartment doesn't reek as much as it used to. She
opened some windows and dumped a lot of freshener on the carpet.
However, that doesn't make the carpet CLEAN and the ****cat is still in
the house. My personal belief is that she isn't asking for more time
with our son because she's actually more comfortable with the small
amount of time she DOES have him, and continuing to receive the same
amoung of child support she is accustomed to. Why bother cleaning up?
That ****cat is giving her a good excuse to not have to care for her kid
three nights a week!

Secret Asian Man!

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

He also said:

or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.


You seem more consumed with the rights of a cat than the health of a child.

Wake up, it's not about control, it's about doing what is right for the
child or are you so obsessed with hating men you cannot see that?

snip



You tell me, do you think a house with cats ****ing on everything and
carpets reeking of cat waste is a good place for a small kid?

Of course not - ande I also recognize that we only have your side of this,
and there are always 2 sides.

I suppose
if you were in my shoes you would never have mentioned the problem, eh?

My solution would never be to presume to tell someone else what they can do
in their own home, or to actually consider making CHANGES to someone else's
home.


For fear of seeming "aggressive"?

When it comes to my kids, I'm as agressive as needs be.

I pity your kids, then.

For what? My kids are in good shape, having a good time, and despite 3
cats, you never smell any cat odor.

It isn't that hard.

"Secret Asian Man" wrote in message
news:QNkhf.42770$2k5.35612@dukeread09...


Moon Shyne wrote:

"Tiffany" wrote in message
news:Trihf.3482$Qs2.2215@trnddc03...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:57chf.8065$dv.5712@fed1read02...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

Nothing seems to be changing, and I am at a point where I have to
make a
decision. Either I continue to say nothing and let her weave enough

rope

to hang herself with (the plan here would be to go to court in a year
or
so and demand full custody), or I start stepping on her heels to get
rid
of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising
our child.

Why on earth would you think you have the right to get rid of her cat,
or
make changes in her home? Would you allow her to get rid of YOUR pet,
and
make changes in YOUR home?

He never claimed such right.

Of course - he only stated he was thinking about doing those things.
Got it.



Here is what he said:

I spoke with her and
luckily she agreed that her place was not fit for a small child to sleep
in. She said she knew the problem was one of her cats that keeps peeing
on everything, and that she didn't want to clean the carpet until she
got rid of the cat at a "no-kill shelter" she'd heard of.

She admits to having an unfit home but can't seem to do anything about
it. She is probably severely depressed and one can only wonder at what
other neglect is happening.

Though I don't agree that the father should call Child Protection YET, he
should be documenting everything, pics and all.

A parent has every right to request changes if a living situation is
harmful.


He also said:

or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.

Yes. We had an agreement on what would happen before our son slept at her
place. SHE agreed without any coersion on my part. I never threatened to
call CPS on her.

Now my choices a

1. Call CPS and/or sue for full custody now
2. Release her from our agreement and ask her to take our son half of the
time again
3. Step on her heels about getting rid of the cat and washing the carpet

This woman is depressive and doesn't do much unless someone is prodding
her to do it.

And you think it's YOUR place to do it? What are you, some sort of control
freak? She's your ex - let her run her own life.

She's like a big kid. I got tired of prodding her all of
the time and being painted as the "bad guy" because of it. This is one
reason our marriage didn't work out.

Because you nagged her all the time? Big surprise there.


Now she's free to sleep in cat **** if she wants to, or her own **** for
that matter. I don't care. What I DO care about is that our son doesn't
have to share that fate.

If the home is truly unhealthy, call the health department. It's not that
hard to do. Let it be their call whether it's truly unhealthy, or simply
your need to control your ex.


Truth be told, her apartment doesn't reek as much as it used to. She
opened some windows and dumped a lot of freshener on the carpet. However,
that doesn't make the carpet CLEAN and the ****cat is still in the house.
My personal belief is that she isn't asking for more time with our son
because she's actually more comfortable with the small amount of time she
DOES have him, and continuing to receive the same amoung of child support
she is accustomed to. Why bother cleaning up? That ****cat is giving her
a good excuse to not have to care for her kid three nights a week!

Secret Asian Man!

I'm hard pressed to believe that you ex is living under the conditions you
keep insisting are there.

"DB" wrote in message
. net...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in

He also said:

or I start stepping on her heels to
get rid of the cat, wash the carpet, and shoulder some responsibility in
raising our child.


You seem more consumed with the rights of a cat than the health of a
child.

Wrong - I'm concerned about the rights of his ex - doesn't she get to be in
control of her own life?


Wake up, it's not about control,

Then why does he think it's ok to tell her how to live, if not to exert
control?

it's about doing what is right for the
child or are you so obsessed with hating men you cannot see that?

I don't hate men - I despise people who think they have the right to tell
their ex's what to do or how to live. They lose that right as soon as the
divorce is final.