GAL Report / looking for comments!

What does one make of a GAL's report that states "while Plantiff may
parent from a motel room, she choses not to" In this case, we have a
two year old home and the child (my step-son) has his own room, clothes,
toys and belongings here.

I raised my three daughters always believing that one of the most
important things one could do for there children was to provide a home
that gave them the sense of safety and security.

It seems to me that parenting on weekends from a transient location such
as a motel room would certainly not provide the feeling of stabilty and
security to a child, let alone the added expense of renting a room for 2
or 3 nights.

It really makes me wonder what New Jersey uses as a criteria for their
Court appointed Guardian ad litems.

Would love to have input on this matter!
Thank You!

On Aug 15, 7:01 pm, (:\) Happy) wrote:
What does one make of a GAL's report that states "while Plantiff may
parent from a motel room, she choses not to" In this case, we have a
two year old home and the child (my step-son) has his own room, clothes,
toys and belongings here.

I raised my three daughters always believing that one of the most
important things one could do for there children was to provide a home
that gave them the sense of safety and security.

It seems to me that parenting on weekends from a transient location such
as a motel room would certainly not provide the feeling of stabilty and
security to a child, let alone the added expense of renting a room for 2
or 3 nights.

It really makes me wonder what New Jersey uses as a criteria for their
Court appointed Guardian ad litems.

Would love to have input on this matter!
Thank You!

The system is driven by money. The CP has hostage of the child, which
due to current CS guidelines = hostage of money. The issue, for the
most part is not GAL criteria, but rather who is willing to sell out.
Being a GAL can be a lucruative direction at least for a psychologist.
Not every single GAL sells out, but the vast majority do. They do so
because for the most part better attorneys take the CP's side since
their fees are better protected in the typical financial division.
When a GAL is known to side strongly with the CP it makes is more
likely that the CP attorney will push for that GAL rather than
another. Most NCP attorneys are either clueless, burned out, or just
go through the motions because the outcome is largely predetermined.
Mine wasn't but most are.

Just as with attorneys, the psychologist/social worker either won't
take custody cases or if they do they get sick of being beat up by the
system and side with the CP. This is another of the NCP traps and one
which is very difficult to avoid. (Just for perspective I was a
practicing psychologist and in my own divorce I did have a very fair
and balanced GAL.) Anyway, in your situation you now have an "expert"
looking out for the "best" interests of the child as determined by a
binding court order. I don't believe you are going to win this one.
BTW I completely agree with you over the important of providing a
child with a stable home, if at all possible.

It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP.
What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional
energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. Focus on
being available to your child; focus on good shared times together. (I
know this is painful, it hurts me to even write this.) Once the child
is older 12? (depends on the state) you can then file a motion for
change.

Don

"don_1228" wrote in

It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP.
What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional
energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. \

Tries?

The system is designed to mow down NCP's and there is no hope of recovery!

It's ironic that the Federal government will send millions of dollars to fix
a bridge, billions if the wind blows down some houses, even a trillion to
fix a couple desert countries in the middle east, but they will spend
thousands to prosecute a dead broke father who doesn't have any money.

On Aug 16, 10:13 am, "DB" wrote:
"don_1228" wrote in

It is just one more brick the system throws to aid the drowning NCP.
What you can do is focus on where to spend the limited emotional
energy you have left after the system tries to mow you down. \

Tries?

The system is designed to mow down NCP's and there is no hope of recovery!

Yes, tries....I guess that is about the only place we disagree. I
don't feel mowed down. I have permanent sadness from my son being
taken from me when he was four years old. Though I did my best to
continue to maintain my connection with him and at one point that was
all that stopped me from leaving the country. (He's nearly 20 now.) I
have a loving relationship with my son, it's not as close as I would
like but it is more than most have, including intact families. I have
rebuilt my life. I am not where I would have been if I hadn't paid
about $0.5M in CS and legal fees or having to make various mid-life
career choices in light of custody and child support guidelines.

But I don't find constant advice that every NCP's life is over to be
either accurate or helpful. If you are talking about recovery in terms
of society moving back to any semblance of rationality over CS laws
then I fully agree with you (at least for the next generation,
probably longer). But if you are saying that every NCP must abandon
all hope well IMO that is not only inaccurate but worse it directly
and perfectly feeds into maintaining the current mess.

Don

Thanks for the response. It is a very sad situation. The CP is a very
munipulating person who makes "deals" by using his son. It is the only
way for him to continue to punish my wife for divorcing him. He manages
to get away with everything! He attacked the arbitrator in their case to
the Judge who told him he ought to appoligize or face a libel suit. He
did appoligize thru his attorney, but the arbitrator then refused to
clarify things in the case because of the conflict of interest that he
created. I don't know where this will end! Thanks again for the
responses!

On Aug 16, 10:36 pm, (:\) Happy) wrote:
Thanks for the response. It is a very sad situation. The CP is a very
munipulating person who makes "deals" by using his son. It is the only
way for him to continue to punish my wife for divorcing him. He manages
to get away with everything! He attacked the arbitrator in their case to
the Judge who told him he ought to appoligize or face a libel suit. He
did appoligize thru his attorney, but the arbitrator then refused to
clarify things in the case because of the conflict of interest that he
created. I don't know where this will end! Thanks again for the
responses!

Here's the deal...the governments figure the mother will probably need
their government assistance if she were alone and you were the
custodial parents. Therefore, they allow the mother the custody of
the children,
with child support, in the hopes that they can squeeze enough out of
your
husband so that the mother doesn't qualify/need the government
assistance
any longer...and that my friends, is pretty much it in a nutshell!