Review: The Alamo (*)

THE ALAMO
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): *


John Lee Hancock's THE ALAMO is cartoonishly awful! As a native Texan who
spent last summer visiting that shrine to Texas history, I found this comic
book version, all dressed up and asking to be taken as a serious drama, to
be an insult to the brave people who died on both sides of the battle.
Overacting with a vengeance, the actors are sometimes almost laughably bad.
The only enjoyable performance is that by Billy Bob Thornton as Davy
Crockett. Thornton tosses in the towel early on and tries to turn the movie
into a spoof. He is the only one who gets how bad it is. Expect to see
this film on many worst-of-the-year lists. It's this year's GODS AND
GENERALS, although these two war pictures fail miserably for different
reasons. THE ALAMO is painfully over the top and sometimes downright silly
whereas GODS AND GENERALS was painfully slow and just about inert.



The movie is about the battle for the Alamo, a fortress fortified by a
hundred or so Texas regulars and militia, which was besieged by a
well-trained and well-equipped Mexican army of thousands. According to this
version of the story, Crockett was an opportunist who only came to the Alamo
with his men because he thought the battle was over.



Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna (Emilio Echevarría), we are told, was a
buffoon, a megalomaniac and a sadist. He thought the lives of his own men
were worth no more than chickens, and he insisted that large numbers of them
die in battle in order to increase the glory of the victory. Wealthy and
pompous to a fault, he also did pretty ridiculous things, including walking
out into the open by himself in clear rifle shot of every Texan on the wall
in the Alamo. As you might guess, it is only Crockett who fires -- and
misses.



The ridiculous moments in the movie come so often it's hard to remember
them. Two more of my favorite stupid moments are the time that Crockett,
standing up as a easy target, engages the enemy in a musical battle with his
violin vs. the Mexican's band and the time that every man, woman and child
in the Alamo on the first morning of the battle wakes up at the exact same
moment.



Memorably awful performances include Patrick Wilson's wooden work as Col.
William Barrett Travis and Dennis Quaid's grandstanding as Gen. Sam Houston.
As James Bowie, Jason Patric keeps starting to deliver semi-decent work but
keeps giving up.



This troubled production was originally to be helmed by Ron Howard, who had
an R-rated, realistic version in mind. When Disney insisted on a more
easily marketed PG-13 film, he pulled out. He is given a producing credit
now, probably only for his work on his movie which never got made and which
had a different cast attached.



Only in the post-Alamo epilogue, culminating in the battle of San Jacinto,
which actually lasted only eighteen minutes and which won the war for Texas,
does the movie ever deliver on any of its promise. Trust me. The last
section is not worth waiting for.



Remember the Alamo but forget this movie.



THE ALAMO runs a long 2:15. It is rated PG-13 for "sustained intense battle
sequences" and would be acceptable for teenagers.



The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, April 9, 2004. In
the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.



Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com

Email:



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Interesting, as I read about the movie in my latest "Smithsonian" magazine,
and it says that it's pretty accurate, historically - the first movie about
the Alamo to even try to be accurate.

Corinne


"Steve Rhodes" wrote in message
hlink.net...
THE ALAMO
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): *


John Lee Hancock's THE ALAMO is cartoonishly awful! As a native Texan who
spent last summer visiting that shrine to Texas history, I found this
comic
book version, all dressed up and asking to be taken as a serious drama, to
be an insult to the brave people who died on both sides of the battle.
Overacting with a vengeance, the actors are sometimes almost laughably
bad.
The only enjoyable performance is that by Billy Bob Thornton as Davy
Crockett. Thornton tosses in the towel early on and tries to turn the
movie
into a spoof. He is the only one who gets how bad it is. Expect to see
this film on many worst-of-the-year lists. It's this year's GODS AND
GENERALS, although these two war pictures fail miserably for different
reasons. THE ALAMO is painfully over the top and sometimes downright
silly
whereas GODS AND GENERALS was painfully slow and just about inert.



The movie is about the battle for the Alamo, a fortress fortified by a
hundred or so Texas regulars and militia, which was besieged by a
well-trained and well-equipped Mexican army of thousands. According to
this
version of the story, Crockett was an opportunist who only came to the
Alamo
with his men because he thought the battle was over.



Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna (Emilio Echevarría), we are told, was a
buffoon, a megalomaniac and a sadist. He thought the lives of his own men
were worth no more than chickens, and he insisted that large numbers of
them
die in battle in order to increase the glory of the victory. Wealthy and
pompous to a fault, he also did pretty ridiculous things, including
walking
out into the open by himself in clear rifle shot of every Texan on the
wall
in the Alamo. As you might guess, it is only Crockett who fires -- and
misses.



The ridiculous moments in the movie come so often it's hard to remember
them. Two more of my favorite stupid moments are the time that Crockett,
standing up as a easy target, engages the enemy in a musical battle with
his
violin vs. the Mexican's band and the time that every man, woman and child
in the Alamo on the first morning of the battle wakes up at the exact same
moment.



Memorably awful performances include Patrick Wilson's wooden work as Col.
William Barrett Travis and Dennis Quaid's grandstanding as Gen. Sam
Houston.
As James Bowie, Jason Patric keeps starting to deliver semi-decent work
but
keeps giving up.



This troubled production was originally to be helmed by Ron Howard, who
had
an R-rated, realistic version in mind. When Disney insisted on a more
easily marketed PG-13 film, he pulled out. He is given a producing credit
now, probably only for his work on his movie which never got made and
which
had a different cast attached.



Only in the post-Alamo epilogue, culminating in the battle of San Jacinto,
which actually lasted only eighteen minutes and which won the war for
Texas,
does the movie ever deliver on any of its promise. Trust me. The last
section is not worth waiting for.



Remember the Alamo but forget this movie.



THE ALAMO runs a long 2:15. It is rated PG-13 for "sustained intense
battle
sequences" and would be acceptable for teenagers.



The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, April 9, 2004.
In
the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC and the Century
theaters.



Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com

Email:



************************************************** *********************



Want free reviews and weekly movie and video recommendations via Email?

Just send me a letter with the word "subscribe" in the subject line.