If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#71
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
Irene wrote in message om... "Sophie" wrote in message ... What I didn't know with 2 that is so simple is - no one will die if they have to wait. I though if they both needed me, they both needed me *NOW*. Lol. DD is just starting to want to "play" (stare at the Gymini, at least) and so ds is starting to "play" with her, but I don't dare leave them alone together! It's lovely when they play together. #1 gets frustrated that she can't play more adventurous games, but they have a lot of imaginary games (like birthday parties). I love hearing #1 say "now you blow out the candles-well done you've blown them all. Let's eat the cake now!" Fortunately, I had already learned to do lots of stuff while nursing with ds (I would've starved otherwise!) but I'm definitely reaping the benefits of that skill now! Pushing a loaded trolley with #1 in as well was my limit. #I gave up on that one! Another lucky thing - some things are simpler just because ds had been a poop every feeding kind of baby, while dd is already skipping a day sometimes,at one month. She also rarely spits up. So, the time I spent cleaning up after ds is now used to convince ds that we need to go! ;-) Dd#2 goes every 5 days, Gives me a few minutes grunting warning, and if I can I'll sit her on the toilet. The only time she's gone more often have been for about 5days after her polio immunisation-then she's gone every feed. I like this timing! My ped has already commented that I'm a lot calmer this time around! I'm not keeping track of how long she eats or sleeps - it's obvious to me that she's doing plenty of both, and I have too much else going on! (75th percentile at her one month checkup!) I didn't manage that last time either :-) Debbie |
#72
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
Circe wrote:
3) I tandem-nursed, so I got "touched out" and felt a bit overwhelmed fairly often, especially in the first few months. I remember many times, I would nurse them together and they'd both fall asleep and then, there I'd be, alone in the house and stuck under two sleeping babies needing to pee. Mind you, I'm not sorry I tandemmed--I think it helped reduce the sibling rivalry/jealousy immensely (and my toddler didn't feel "left out" when I nursed the baby), and I certainly saw the difference when I had my third and *didn't* tandem--but it did have its downsides. Barbara, I've been re-reading this like a lifeline. Encourage me! I should start an mkb thread, too. Nursing is just a pain right now. I was all gung ho about the benefits of tandem nursing in the beginning, but I've heard people say yes and others say no, it didn't make any difference for them. Sprout really isn't ready to wean, and it's not too bad yet, it just hurts a lot during latch-on. Tell me this is going to be worth it later! Mary S. computer ate my sig |
#73
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
Nikki wrote:
Never blame the baby for some injustice to the toddler. I never told Hunter he had to wait because the baby was eating etc. I *always* found another excuse. Sometimes (like at bath and baby woke up) I'd say out loud that I was helping Hunter right now and that I'd be there in a minute. I guess I blamed the toddler but the baby didn't notice, lol. I was doing that for the toddlers sake, so he'd realize that sometimes his needs come first too. I love this! It's going into my baby file of wisdom. Mary S. |
#74
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
Never blame the baby for some injustice to the toddler. I never told
Hunter he had to wait because the baby was eating etc. I *always* found another excuse. Sometimes (like at bath and baby woke up) I'd say out loud that I was helping Hunter right now and that I'd be there in a minute. I guess I blamed the toddler but the baby didn't notice, lol. I was doing that for the toddlers sake, so he'd realize that sometimes his needs come first too. Just to say this one backfired on me. I did this for the first couple of months, then found that dd#1 expected everything to drop if she wanted anything. I gradually introduced to her that sometimes #1 as to wait and sometimes #2, and she's much better now. It's got to be sometimes they come first, but not always. If you do say that #1 has to wait then you do need to offer what they want as soon as possible. I'm feeding #2 while doing this, while #1 is getting her dominoes out. A lot of things you can do while feeding, and it's worthwhile introducing those as fun things to do together. (particularly reading) Debbie |
#75
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
Welches wrote:
Never blame the baby for some injustice to the toddler. I never told Hunter he had to wait because the baby was eating etc. I *always* found another excuse. Sometimes (like at bath and baby woke up) I'd say out loud that I was helping Hunter right now and that I'd be there in a minute. I guess I blamed the toddler but the baby didn't notice, lol. I was doing that for the toddlers sake, so he'd realize that sometimes his needs come first too. Just to say this one backfired on me. I did this for the first couple of months, then found that dd#1 expected everything to drop if she wanted anything. I gradually introduced to her that sometimes #1 as to wait and sometimes #2, and she's much better now. It's got to be sometimes they come first, but not always. If you do say that #1 has to wait then you do need to offer what they want as soon as possible. I'm feeding #2 while doing this, while #1 is getting her dominoes out. A lot of things you can do while feeding, and it's worthwhile introducing those as fun things to do together. (particularly reading) Debbie That is a good perspective, you don't want to over do it! :-). I just wanted to clarify that #1 had to wait all the time, I just never told him the reason he had to wait was because of the baby. I think he did understand that though. It wasn't unusual for him to tell me the baby was ready to be put in his crib :-) I actually spent many hours dancing around in the kitchen while holding both of them at the same time. It was tricky finding a position to put the baby in so his head was safe but once I figured it out, it really made Hunter happy :-) I didn't have a sling I liked. I had a big padded one that was like a furnace. A sling would have probably made that process a lot easier, lol. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3) |
#76
|
|||
|
|||
BTDT moms: is it as hard the second time around?
"Donna" wrote in message ... So following Carol Ann's story over the last six weeks has had me reliving the early days with my daughter; the shellshock, the exhaustion, the inability to stop her crying at times, the six weeks sitting on the couch nursing, the 30 second showers, the mess.... I'm remembering all the stuff I'd just forgotten (or blocked out grin). I'm beginning to get seriously nervous about going through it again, but this time with the responsibility of looking after a toddler as well. I had nothing left the first time around -I can't conceive of how I'm going to handle two. Is it easier the second time around? My mom swears that it is - not that it's any easier to get in a shower, or get them to sleep through the night, but that not having that constant shell-shocked "now what do I do" feeling, makes a world of difference. (But really, what else are they going to tell me? "Oh no, honey, the first 10 weeks are *just* as horrible, and this time around, you'll also have to keep your elder child entertained, too!" Not likely. smile) So - what is the real answer? I can take it. Dunno about doing it with a toddler, but for comparison sake: With my daughter, I was at home. Breastfeeding. She was *all* I was focused on. And the first six weeks were hell. With my foster son, I was working, taking him with me from the time he was 3 days old (in a sling), formula feeding, getting my kid to school, singing in the church choir, helping with a brownie troop. It was MUCH easier. Specific things were harder... formula feeding is a damn nuisance and takes up far too much time--breastfeeding was, after the first week, much simpler. It was exhausting trying to work while parenting a newborn. But I was just flat out more competent and had more support. Oh, and I had better slings. Jenrose |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Article by Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D. - Happily Married with Kids | Jane Smith | General | 0 | July 27th 04 02:17 PM |
Spousal Debate: Time to Oneself | Sonnie B. | General | 259 | May 26th 04 04:03 AM |
| | Kids should work... | Kane | General | 13 | December 10th 03 02:30 AM |
Kids should work. | LaVonne Carlson | General | 22 | December 7th 03 04:27 AM |