Back Child Support

"Tippy" wrote in message
news:Uxt1d.2202$fA1.201@lakeread02...

And what about men that simply take a lower paying job to reduce the
stress
level / time commitment. Happens all the time in two parent
households.....the child(ren) then live with the reduced lifestyle. Only
an
NCP is not granted that right......and somehow those children
automatically
become 'entitled' to a percentage of a parent's income.

The child did not have a choice, the adult does. My stress nearly topped
out for me.

For nearly 1 1/2 life was hell. I accepted physical custody of 3 kids.
At
the time, one preschool, one 1st grade the other 2nd. I had intended to
leave Virginia and go to LV for retirement. Instead, I found caregivers
in
DC because the kids were in DC schools (mother forced to put them in
school
there as she left VA) although abandoned in VA. I work in DC and dropped
the kids at day care so they wouldn't get disrupted and could finish in
the
DC school. My commute time was extensive. Then home, fix meals, go over
homework, give each attention and prepare for the next day. Usually to
bed
no earlier than 1 pm. Chores -- washing clothes, buying clothes, mental
counseling for the children, parenting classes, nurturing classes, case
workers up the yazoo, 3 guardian ad litems, 3-5 lawyers, CARE workers, and
mentors. Case workers telling you that the brother and sister have to be
in different rooms and dealing with how to put 3 children in two rooms and
placing a 3 or 4 year old in room by himself for the first time in his
life.
Up at 6, breakfast and begin the long commute again. Work suffered--
fortunately my reputation and past work allowed my superiors to give me
time
to get back to speed. I didn't see friends or family for nearly a year
and
saw to the needs of the kids BECAUSE that's what it took. Much of the
stress dropped off when the courts finally gave me legal custody after
they
were comfortable that the various bio parents were out of the picture.
You
make the sacrifices because it is the right thing to do. Now-- you want
to
talk about a little stress that causes someone to take a lower paying job.
Sorry, no sympathy here.

One can always find an excuse not to do what one should and convince
himself
that what he/she is doing is right.
Trust me, I've made the excuses myself in other situations. Kids can't
wait
for the adult to mature and take responsibility-- they need immediate help
so that they can grow up to be physically and mentally healthy.

I absolutely agree with that. And, if Dad taking a lower paying job so he
can spend TIME with the kids, rather than just providing money, then I'm all
for it. Kids need DAD more than they need the latest fashions, the newest
playstation, another sports team, etc. Spending time with a relaxed and
loving dad is far more important than the "luxuries" that a bit more money
would buy. Enough money for the basic necessities of life, and plenty of
time with both parents will help kids to "grow up to be physically and
mentally healthy."

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Tippy" wrote in message
news:Uxt1d.2202$fA1.201@lakeread02...

And what about men that simply take a lower paying job to reduce the
stress
level / time commitment. Happens all the time in two parent
households.....the child(ren) then live with the reduced lifestyle.
Only
an
NCP is not granted that right......and somehow those children
automatically
become 'entitled' to a percentage of a parent's income.

The child did not have a choice, the adult does. My stress nearly
topped
out for me.

For nearly 1 1/2 life was hell. I accepted physical custody of 3 kids.
At
the time, one preschool, one 1st grade the other 2nd. I had intended to
leave Virginia and go to LV for retirement. Instead, I found caregivers
in
DC because the kids were in DC schools (mother forced to put them in
school
there as she left VA) although abandoned in VA. I work in DC and
dropped
the kids at day care so they wouldn't get disrupted and could finish in
the
DC school. My commute time was extensive. Then home, fix meals, go
over
homework, give each attention and prepare for the next day. Usually to
bed
no earlier than 1 pm. Chores -- washing clothes, buying clothes, mental
counseling for the children, parenting classes, nurturing classes, case
workers up the yazoo, 3 guardian ad litems, 3-5 lawyers, CARE workers,
and
mentors. Case workers telling you that the brother and sister have to
be
in different rooms and dealing with how to put 3 children in two rooms
and
placing a 3 or 4 year old in room by himself for the first time in his
life.
Up at 6, breakfast and begin the long commute again. Work suffered--
fortunately my reputation and past work allowed my superiors to give me
time
to get back to speed. I didn't see friends or family for nearly a year
and
saw to the needs of the kids BECAUSE that's what it took. Much of the
stress dropped off when the courts finally gave me legal custody after
they
were comfortable that the various bio parents were out of the picture.
You
make the sacrifices because it is the right thing to do. Now-- you want
to
talk about a little stress that causes someone to take a lower paying
job.
Sorry, no sympathy here.

One can always find an excuse not to do what one should and convince
himself
that what he/she is doing is right.
Trust me, I've made the excuses myself in other situations. Kids can't
wait
for the adult to mature and take responsibility-- they need immediate
help
so that they can grow up to be physically and mentally healthy.

I absolutely agree with that. And, if Dad taking a lower paying job so he
can spend TIME with the kids, rather than just providing money, then I'm
all
for it. Kids need DAD more than they need the latest fashions, the newest
playstation, another sports team, etc. Spending time with a relaxed and
loving dad is far more important than the "luxuries" that a bit more money
would buy. Enough money for the basic necessities of life, and plenty of
time with both parents will help kids to "grow up to be physically and
mentally healthy."

A better response than mine--

Tippy