I had a major meltdown... :(

Not sure why...
I lost it the evening before last when N basically threw the bowl of
vegetables out of the microwave all over the kitchen... It was, of course,
an accident. He didn't know that there was that much water in it (was
cooking frozen vegetables in water in the mic) and when he went to take it
out, it splashed on his hands. He jumped a bit, and it splashed almost
boiling hot water on him again. I was in the living room changing DD2's
diaper, DS and DD1 were both sitting at the table ready to eat. I was going
to give DD2 a diaper change then go join them to eat. He came into the
living room, seriously angry, asking who put that in the microwave. Duh,
who the heck did he think put it in there? The lady next door???
So, he's angry, and it was a long, stressful day for me, for some reason. I
ended up losing any appetite I had and went upstairs to feed DD2, and I
didn't really care to eat much of anything at that point. I just totally
lost it and couldn't control myself.
Then just tonight, I nearly lost it again... Almost another meltdown like
the night before, but I managed to contain myself just a bit... I had to
keep reminding myself that it was alright if every bloody potato I pulled
out of the bag for supper was rotten just a bit. Brand new bag, not 5 days
old, and the potatos were bad from the start. I just about fell apart, but
I'm not sure how I managed to control myself a tiny bit.
I really don't know what is wrong with me.
DD2 won't take a bottle at all. We had been giving her a bottle of EBM
every now and then. I kind of wanted a little bit of freedom for something
simple - like going to get groceries - without having to worry so much about
the baby getting hungry and needing to eat. With a stash of frozen EBM, I
figured I could go out for a little, get done what needs to be done, and if
she absolutely needed to eat, Dad could give her a bottle of the EBM. Yup,
not no more, though... She will NOT take a bottle. I do believe that if she
gets hungry enough, a bottle would be good enough and she could and would
figure it out. I have no doubt that she'd hate it and not be very happy
about it, but if push comes to shove, I would bet my last dollar that she'd
suck the bottle before starving herself. Or wait around for me. It's just
me wondering how much *I* can handle... Doesn't seem to be much as I lost
control of myself and ran upstairs the other night over the veggies all over
the entire kitchen, then just about the same thing over the rotten potatos
tonight. And more in between...
I still have red nipples. Not too sore, but still red, peeling and maybe
ever so slightly tender. Far from painful, as they still feel almost like
nothing. Odd as it is. DD2 is around 13ish lbs now, and she's 15 weeks
already. DD1 is really starting to push my buttons at 18 months, and
there's times when I want to severly teach DS a lesson, yet I just decide to
pick my battles wisely and ignore his mouthy mouth or rotten attitude.
I also got a lovely (nasty) email from DH's brother. Not to really get into
that, but as far as I'm concerned, if he so much as calls, I will be
immediately hanging the phone up right in his ear, and if need be, I'll call
the phone company to have his number(s) blocked off of my phone line.
Should he grow the balls to grace me with his presense around here, I will
be on the phone with the police faster than he could say 'button' and if he
happens to say one more word as he had just recently, and wants to play
dirty, I will play along with him real dirty.
I think I have folded the same basket of clothes 3 times now since I pulled
them out of the dryer yesterday. I'd have thought someone - anyone - could
have been so kind as to maybe put them away OR watch DD1 enough to stop her
from destroying the folded clothes - 3 times.
Let's not talk about how DS has found himself a pretty good mouth when it
comes to mouthing off lately. He's lost a few things he likes and wants,
and quite frankly, the new little TV he got for his birthday just over a
week ago - I'll toss that right out his second storey bedroom window. He
hasn't even earned the TV being set up in his room yet, and it's already
going to end up at the recycle station right away.
I'm really getting worn down to the bone lately. I don't know why. It just
seems everything is happening all at once... DD1 just about turning into a
monster from some dark lagoon, DS getting a wickedly mouthy mouth, DD2
refusing a bottle and being EXTREMELY difficult come evenings, for some
reason... Then there's the (cooked) frozen veggies the DH decided to
(accidently, at least) throw from one end of the kitchen to the other, not
failing to hit everywhere in between, and the rotting potatos... I can't
handle any of this... I have this feeling that the PPD that I had to deal
with when DD1 was born a year and a half ago has suddenly hit me again... I
felt awesome when I was able to deal with the PPD after DD1 was born, and
was feeling just fantastic after DD2 was born, but I don't know... Maybe the
clothes, vegetables, potatos, etc., has possibly pushed me a bit too far?
Any ideas? I might be losing it, but, luckily for me, DH has been home and
not at work much of this week at all due to extremely cold weather, freezing
rain and real cold temps and much more and has been home... I think I'm
probably overacting when I say it, but I feel he's done squat around here
while he's been home to help out as much as I'd like and feel I need... I
feel like I'm picking up after EVERYONE non stop, with very little help. He
does help out, but just some things - like the folded basket issue, the
'please could you get DD1 down from her bed and give her breakfast while I
feed DD2' - yea, sure, but only AFTER he sits on the bloody computer (which
I'm ready to just have at it with a baseball bat) for a while.
Ugh. Sorry for venting. I just feel like I'm close to totally losing it
and wonder where I should go from here. Could this be a form of PPD? DD2
is already 3 months old... Or is this just being overwhelmed? Overworked?
Over exaggerating?

On Feb 10, 6:51 pm, "xkatx" wrote:
Not sure why...
I lost it the evening before last when N basically threw the bowl of
vegetables out of the microwave all over the kitchen... It was, of course,
an accident. He didn't know that there was that much water in it (was
cooking frozen vegetables in water in the mic) and when he went to take it
out, it splashed on his hands. He jumped a bit, and it splashed almost
boiling hot water on him again. I was in the living room changing DD2's
diaper, DS and DD1 were both sitting at the table ready to eat. I was going
to give DD2 a diaper change then go join them to eat. He came into the
living room, seriously angry, asking who put that in the microwave. Duh,
who the heck did he think put it in there? The lady next door???
So, he's angry, and it was a long, stressful day for me, for some reason. I
ended up losing any appetite I had and went upstairs to feed DD2, and I
didn't really care to eat much of anything at that point. I just totally
lost it and couldn't control myself.
Then just tonight, I nearly lost it again... Almost another meltdown like
the night before, but I managed to contain myself just a bit... I had to
keep reminding myself that it was alright if every bloody potato I pulled
out of the bag for supper was rotten just a bit. Brand new bag, not 5 days
old, and the potatos were bad from the start. I just about fell apart, but
I'm not sure how I managed to control myself a tiny bit.
I really don't know what is wrong with me.
DD2 won't take a bottle at all. We had been giving her a bottle of EBM
every now and then. I kind of wanted a little bit of freedom for something
simple - like going to get groceries - without having to worry so much about
the baby getting hungry and needing to eat. With a stash of frozen EBM, I
figured I could go out for a little, get done what needs to be done, and if
she absolutely needed to eat, Dad could give her a bottle of the EBM. Yup,
not no more, though... She will NOT take a bottle. I do believe that if she
gets hungry enough, a bottle would be good enough and she could and would
figure it out. I have no doubt that she'd hate it and not be very happy
about it, but if push comes to shove, I would bet my last dollar that she'd
suck the bottle before starving herself. Or wait around for me. It's just
me wondering how much *I* can handle... Doesn't seem to be much as I lost
control of myself and ran upstairs the other night over the veggies all over
the entire kitchen, then just about the same thing over the rotten potatos
tonight. And more in between...
I still have red nipples. Not too sore, but still red, peeling and maybe
ever so slightly tender. Far from painful, as they still feel almost like
nothing. Odd as it is. DD2 is around 13ish lbs now, and she's 15 weeks
already. DD1 is really starting to push my buttons at 18 months, and
there's times when I want to severly teach DS a lesson, yet I just decide to
pick my battles wisely and ignore his mouthy mouth or rotten attitude.
I also got a lovely (nasty) email from DH's brother. Not to really get into
that, but as far as I'm concerned, if he so much as calls, I will be
immediately hanging the phone up right in his ear, and if need be, I'll call
the phone company to have his number(s) blocked off of my phone line.
Should he grow the balls to grace me with his presense around here, I will
be on the phone with the police faster than he could say 'button' and if he
happens to say one more word as he had just recently, and wants to play
dirty, I will play along with him real dirty.
I think I have folded the same basket of clothes 3 times now since I pulled
them out of the dryer yesterday. I'd have thought someone - anyone - could
have been so kind as to maybe put them away OR watch DD1 enough to stop her
from destroying the folded clothes - 3 times.
Let's not talk about how DS has found himself a pretty good mouth when it
comes to mouthing off lately. He's lost a few things he likes and wants,
and quite frankly, the new little TV he got for his birthday just over a
week ago - I'll toss that right out his second storey bedroom window. He
hasn't even earned the TV being set up in his room yet, and it's already
going to end up at the recycle station right away.
I'm really getting worn down to the bone lately. I don't know why. It just
seems everything is happening all at once... DD1 just about turning into a
monster from some dark lagoon, DS getting a wickedly mouthy mouth, DD2
refusing a bottle and being EXTREMELY difficult come evenings, for some
reason... Then there's the (cooked) frozen veggies the DH decided to
(accidently, at least) throw from one end of the kitchen to the other, not
failing to hit everywhere in between, and the rotting potatos... I can't
handle any of this... I have this feeling that the PPD that I had to deal
with when DD1 was born a year and a half ago has suddenly hit me again... I
felt awesome when I was able to deal with the PPD after DD1 was born, and
was feeling just fantastic after DD2 was born, but I don't know... Maybe the
clothes, vegetables, potatos, etc., has possibly pushed me a bit too far?
Any ideas? I might be losing it, but, luckily for me, DH has been home and
not at work much of this week at all due to extremely cold weather, freezing
rain and real cold temps and much more and has been home... I think I'm
probably overacting when I say it, but I feel he's done squat around here
while he's been home to help out as much as I'd like and feel I need... I
feel like I'm picking up after EVERYONE non stop, with very little help. He
does help out, but just some things - like the folded basket issue, the
'please could you get DD1 down from her bed and give her breakfast while I
feed DD2' - yea, sure, but only AFTER he sits on the bloody computer (which
I'm ready to just have at it with a baseball bat) for a while.
Ugh. Sorry for venting. I just feel like I'm close to totally losing it
and wonder where I should go from here. Could this be a form of PPD? DD2
is already 3 months old... Or is this just being overwhelmed? Overworked?
Over exaggerating?

This sounds like PPD to me. Go and see someone as soon as you can.
My PPD manifested as anger over stuff that really didn't deserve an
angry response and you sound like you are feeling something similar.
There are medications that can help. There are people who can help.
Being self-aware enough to think "Is this PPD?" is not a sign that is
_isn't_ PPD, which is what I thought. Make sure you talk to someone,
and tell them everything.

Cheryl

"Cheryl" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Feb 10, 6:51 pm, "xkatx" wrote:
Not sure why...
I lost it the evening before last when N basically threw the bowl of
vegetables out of the microwave all over the kitchen... It was, of
course,
an accident. He didn't know that there was that much water in it (was
cooking frozen vegetables in water in the mic) and when he went to take
it
out, it splashed on his hands. He jumped a bit, and it splashed almost
boiling hot water on him again. I was in the living room changing DD2's
diaper, DS and DD1 were both sitting at the table ready to eat. I was
going
to give DD2 a diaper change then go join them to eat. He came into the
living room, seriously angry, asking who put that in the microwave. Duh,
who the heck did he think put it in there? The lady next door???
So, he's angry, and it was a long, stressful day for me, for some reason.
I
ended up losing any appetite I had and went upstairs to feed DD2, and I
didn't really care to eat much of anything at that point. I just totally
lost it and couldn't control myself.
Then just tonight, I nearly lost it again... Almost another meltdown like
the night before, but I managed to contain myself just a bit... I had to
keep reminding myself that it was alright if every bloody potato I pulled
out of the bag for supper was rotten just a bit. Brand new bag, not 5
days
old, and the potatos were bad from the start. I just about fell apart,
but
I'm not sure how I managed to control myself a tiny bit.
I really don't know what is wrong with me.
DD2 won't take a bottle at all. We had been giving her a bottle of EBM
every now and then. I kind of wanted a little bit of freedom for
something
simple - like going to get groceries - without having to worry so much
about
the baby getting hungry and needing to eat. With a stash of frozen EBM,
I
figured I could go out for a little, get done what needs to be done, and
if
she absolutely needed to eat, Dad could give her a bottle of the EBM.
Yup,
not no more, though... She will NOT take a bottle. I do believe that if
she
gets hungry enough, a bottle would be good enough and she could and would
figure it out. I have no doubt that she'd hate it and not be very happy
about it, but if push comes to shove, I would bet my last dollar that
she'd
suck the bottle before starving herself. Or wait around for me. It's
just
me wondering how much *I* can handle... Doesn't seem to be much as I lost
control of myself and ran upstairs the other night over the veggies all
over
the entire kitchen, then just about the same thing over the rotten
potatos
tonight. And more in between...
I still have red nipples. Not too sore, but still red, peeling and maybe
ever so slightly tender. Far from painful, as they still feel almost
like
nothing. Odd as it is. DD2 is around 13ish lbs now, and she's 15 weeks
already. DD1 is really starting to push my buttons at 18 months, and
there's times when I want to severly teach DS a lesson, yet I just decide
to
pick my battles wisely and ignore his mouthy mouth or rotten attitude.
I also got a lovely (nasty) email from DH's brother. Not to really get
into
that, but as far as I'm concerned, if he so much as calls, I will be
immediately hanging the phone up right in his ear, and if need be, I'll
call
the phone company to have his number(s) blocked off of my phone line.
Should he grow the balls to grace me with his presense around here, I
will
be on the phone with the police faster than he could say 'button' and if
he
happens to say one more word as he had just recently, and wants to play
dirty, I will play along with him real dirty.
I think I have folded the same basket of clothes 3 times now since I
pulled
them out of the dryer yesterday. I'd have thought someone - anyone -
could
have been so kind as to maybe put them away OR watch DD1 enough to stop
her
from destroying the folded clothes - 3 times.
Let's not talk about how DS has found himself a pretty good mouth when it
comes to mouthing off lately. He's lost a few things he likes and wants,
and quite frankly, the new little TV he got for his birthday just over a
week ago - I'll toss that right out his second storey bedroom window. He
hasn't even earned the TV being set up in his room yet, and it's already
going to end up at the recycle station right away.
I'm really getting worn down to the bone lately. I don't know why. It
just
seems everything is happening all at once... DD1 just about turning into
a
monster from some dark lagoon, DS getting a wickedly mouthy mouth, DD2
refusing a bottle and being EXTREMELY difficult come evenings, for some
reason... Then there's the (cooked) frozen veggies the DH decided to
(accidently, at least) throw from one end of the kitchen to the other,
not
failing to hit everywhere in between, and the rotting potatos... I can't
handle any of this... I have this feeling that the PPD that I had to deal
with when DD1 was born a year and a half ago has suddenly hit me again...
I
felt awesome when I was able to deal with the PPD after DD1 was born, and
was feeling just fantastic after DD2 was born, but I don't know... Maybe
the
clothes, vegetables, potatos, etc., has possibly pushed me a bit too far?
Any ideas? I might be losing it, but, luckily for me, DH has been home
and
not at work much of this week at all due to extremely cold weather,
freezing
rain and real cold temps and much more and has been home... I think I'm
probably overacting when I say it, but I feel he's done squat around here
while he's been home to help out as much as I'd like and feel I need... I
feel like I'm picking up after EVERYONE non stop, with very little help.
He
does help out, but just some things - like the folded basket issue, the
'please could you get DD1 down from her bed and give her breakfast while
I
feed DD2' - yea, sure, but only AFTER he sits on the bloody computer
(which
I'm ready to just have at it with a baseball bat) for a while.
Ugh. Sorry for venting. I just feel like I'm close to totally losing it
and wonder where I should go from here. Could this be a form of PPD?
DD2
is already 3 months old... Or is this just being overwhelmed?
Overworked?
Over exaggerating?

This sounds like PPD to me. Go and see someone as soon as you can.
My PPD manifested as anger over stuff that really didn't deserve an
angry response and you sound like you are feeling something similar.
There are medications that can help. There are people who can help.
Being self-aware enough to think "Is this PPD?" is not a sign that is
_isn't_ PPD, which is what I thought. Make sure you talk to someone,
and tell them everything.

Cheryl

I will probably do that soon. Is it possible to get signs of PPD a while
after baby? I've heard something like a year or two after it can show up.
I had PPD with DD1 (she's 18 months now) so would I possibly be higher risk
for it with DD2 (3 months)?
I've felt fine up until now. It's been the last week or so that I feel like
I've slowly been slipping.

In article danzh.42167$Fd.27629@edtnps90, "xkatx" wrote:

I will probably do that soon. Is it possible to get signs of PPD a while
after baby? I've heard something like a year or two after it can show up.

That is correct.

I had PPD with DD1 (she's 18 months now) so would I possibly be higher risk
for it with DD2 (3 months)?

Absolutely. In fact, I am wondering why your health workers are not following
you up. Do you recognise the feelings from last time? A friend of mine
realised she had hit it again because she recognised the emotions she was
having.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue