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A sad good bye.



 
 
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  #21  
Old December 12th 03, 12:37 AM
Dawn Lawson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye.



Stephanie and Tim wrote:

"Denise" wrote in message
...

"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message
.. .

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in

I do not know this posters whole situation. And I don't care. There is


more

to parenting, particularly more than one child, then breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is important, but I am grateful that there are


alternatives

that are far better than they used to. I am having exactly ZERO problems
breastfeeding, but I still sometimes think that bottle feeding would


allow

me to balance parenting of both children and give my son some of the


time

and attention he has been missing. I am holding off day by day. As I


say,

breasfeeding is important, and this is a great place to get help and
support. But there is more to parenting and being a person than
breatsfeeding. For some of us anyway.




meow



I agree with you, but when a person makes it seem like they're sad to not


be

able to breastfeed, doesn't it make sense to offer them advice to help?


If

she's truly happy with not breastfeeding and she thinks formula will make
her and baby happier, good, go for it.




I guess I read it differently. I did not think she was looking for advice to
help. But yeah, I agree with you.



especially so near where most problems level out anyhow.



Dawn

  #22  
Old December 12th 03, 01:18 AM
K-K ~Glass Boobs~
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye ((Thanks))



Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know something
NEEDS to change.

K-K


  #23  
Old December 12th 03, 02:24 AM
Dawn Lawson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye.



Elfanie wrote:

On Thu, 11 Dec 2003 16:56:26 GMT, "K-K ~Glass Boobs~"
wrote:


I could tell the tension was
dwindling my supply.



*snip*

I cant go back, Im on dry up pills.
I dont know why I took them, My doc suggested them to me and said that they
will help with the engorgement.



Ok...I'm confused.

the only pills I know that will "dry you up" is bromocriptine (brand
name Parlodel). Unlike most people are mistaken about, they are not
off the market. they also are not an arthritis drug...they are an
anti-parkinsons drug. they DID stop giving them to dry up milk
supplies because there are a LOT of risks to bromocriptine, a LOT of
side effects, and it was deemed not worth it to have that level of
risk for that temporary of a problem.


bromocriptine is also used for pituitary tumors, and to lower prolactin
(PCOS) in order to concieve. (and also for reducing milk production,
obviously)

And certainly not off the market, at least not in Canada.

HOWEVER....that aside..

You are stopping nursing because you are tired and stressed because
your baby wants to nurse all the time and you feel your supply is
dwindling..
yet you're taking something to dry you up?? *boggles* I suppose I
just don't understand this...not at all. Makes no sense....


It's not about supply issues *at all*.

Dawn

  #24  
Old December 12th 03, 02:29 AM
badgirl
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye ((Thanks))


"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:kP7Cb.663747$6C4.568845@pd7tw1no...


Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice

place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know something
NEEDS to change.

K-K



I would think that change needs to come from DH. Instead of dreading coming
home he could be somewhat more understanding. nstead of telling you that the
house is trashed he could just pick up and deal with it. Instead of letting
you cry he could make you a cup of hot chocolate and take the 3YO for an
hour or two for you.
I don't see your problems as being BF problems, I see them as being DH
problems. He needs to be the one to support you now and I'm truely sorry
that he isn't. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your baby and I'm sorry for
your whole family unit. If he won't support you in something as *small* (in
the whole picture) as this, what happens when something major comes along?

Jen
*who can't STAND unsupportive husbands*


  #25  
Old December 12th 03, 03:09 AM
Stephanie and Tim
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye.


"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:Lc7Cb.666997$pl3.283982@pd7tw3no...


Stephanie and Tim wrote:

"Denise" wrote in message
...

"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in

message
.. .

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in

I do not know this posters whole situation. And I don't care. There is

more

to parenting, particularly more than one child, then breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is important, but I am grateful that there are


alternatives

that are far better than they used to. I am having exactly ZERO

problems
breastfeeding, but I still sometimes think that bottle feeding would


allow

me to balance parenting of both children and give my son some of the


time

and attention he has been missing. I am holding off day by day. As I


say,

breasfeeding is important, and this is a great place to get help and
support. But there is more to parenting and being a person than
breatsfeeding. For some of us anyway.




meow


What does "meow" mean in this context? Thanks.



I agree with you, but when a person makes it seem like they're sad to

not

be

able to breastfeed, doesn't it make sense to offer them advice to help?


If

she's truly happy with not breastfeeding and she thinks formula will

make
her and baby happier, good, go for it.




I guess I read it differently. I did not think she was looking for

advice to
help. But yeah, I agree with you.



especially so near where most problems level out anyhow.



Dawn



  #26  
Old December 12th 03, 03:14 AM
K-K ~Glass Boobs~
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye.

read my original post, Its not about my drying up... I felt my supply *was*
dwindling which was adding to the downward spiral. I want to stop nursing
because of the stresses I am putting on my self and others. I want to stop
nursing because I miss my DD and my DH. I want to stop because he was on my
feeding too frequently than I could handle emotionally. My daughter was un
able to deal with it as well and that made me feel guilty etc... I'm not
going to go on. I took the pills because I wanted to dry up faster. when I
said I don't know why I took them I meant (I don't know why I took them, I
guess I could have dried up on my own.


"Elfanie" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 11 Dec 2003 16:56:26 GMT, "K-K ~Glass Boobs~"
wrote:

I could tell the tension was
dwindling my supply.


*snip*
I cant go back, Im on dry up pills.
I dont know why I took them, My doc suggested them to me and said that

they
will help with the engorgement.


Ok...I'm confused.

the only pills I know that will "dry you up" is bromocriptine (brand
name Parlodel). Unlike most people are mistaken about, they are not
off the market. they also are not an arthritis drug...they are an
anti-parkinsons drug. they DID stop giving them to dry up milk
supplies because there are a LOT of risks to bromocriptine, a LOT of
side effects, and it was deemed not worth it to have that level of
risk for that temporary of a problem.

HOWEVER....that aside..

You are stopping nursing because you are tired and stressed because
your baby wants to nurse all the time and you feel your supply is
dwindling..
yet you're taking something to dry you up?? *boggles* I suppose I
just don't understand this...not at all. Makes no sense....


Stephanie Soderblom CLD CCCE CD(DONA) ICD
Mesa, AZ
Mommy to Mikael 5/9/95 - Kerstyn 8/6/99 - and Kevin 8/30/02
Student Midwife
Birth Doula / Childbirth Educator / Pregnancy and Birth Photography

http://www.birthdiaries.com - Birth Story Diaries=REAL BIRTHS = REAL

PHOTOS


  #27  
Old December 12th 03, 04:14 AM
K-K ~Glass Boobs~
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye.

Why cant I be a bit disappointed in my self not being able to handle breast
feeding and a family life at the same time?
I am going through a bunch of emotions! I am glad to have more free time to
spend with my DD and DH! but I am ashamed and disappointed that I couldn't
last bf'ing longer, emotionally it was more than I can handle.
I weighed all the pros and cons and well it came out with more cons if I
continued to bf.


"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message
...

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:Lc7Cb.666997$pl3.283982@pd7tw3no...


Stephanie and Tim wrote:

"Denise" wrote in message
...

"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in

message
.. .

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in

I do not know this posters whole situation. And I don't care. There

is

more

to parenting, particularly more than one child, then breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is important, but I am grateful that there are

alternatives

that are far better than they used to. I am having exactly ZERO

problems
breastfeeding, but I still sometimes think that bottle feeding would

allow

me to balance parenting of both children and give my son some of the

time

and attention he has been missing. I am holding off day by day. As I

say,

breasfeeding is important, and this is a great place to get help and
support. But there is more to parenting and being a person than
breatsfeeding. For some of us anyway.




meow


What does "meow" mean in this context? Thanks.



I agree with you, but when a person makes it seem like they're sad to

not

be

able to breastfeed, doesn't it make sense to offer them advice to

help?

If

she's truly happy with not breastfeeding and she thinks formula will

make
her and baby happier, good, go for it.




I guess I read it differently. I did not think she was looking for

advice to
help. But yeah, I agree with you.



especially so near where most problems level out anyhow.



Dawn





  #28  
Old December 12th 03, 04:23 AM
K-K ~Glass Boobs~
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye ((Thanks))

in bold (IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THE ENTIRE FAMILY TOGETHER! HE
IS SUPPORTIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THERE IS ONLY SO
MUCH ANY ONES DH CAN TAKE, AND NO PUNY CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE CAN CONSOLE ME
AFTER SPENDING THE DAY WITH A DAUGHTER WHO IS CRYING BECAUSE I AM NEGLECTING
HER. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY TIMES READING HER A BOOK WHILE IM NURSING WILL
AMUSE A 3.5 YEAROLD, AND IM SICK OF USING T.V AS A BABYSITTER.)

it is not a small thing, it was a big deal! Nevermind my dh, my daughter was
suffering greatly because of this. I great cure would be to put her in
preschool a couple afternoons a week but we cant afford it and are just
barely above the financial standards for any type of subsidy. I have looked
at many routes to try and make this better on every one.
I am only 22
DH is 26
DD is almost 4
DS is 4.5 weeks
We own a house
We own a new car
We are doing very well for people so young, and its hard and stressful to
deal with all of these (new) responsibilities. Maybe I'm not mature enough
to be completely selfless, maybe I'm not mature enough to figure out how to
bf and take care of my family. Regardless, I am trying my best.

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:FR8Cb.367876$ao4.1233531@attbi_s51...

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:kP7Cb.663747$6C4.568845@pd7tw1no...


Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice

place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has

torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know something
NEEDS to change.

K-K



I would think that change needs to come from DH. Instead of dreading

coming
home he could be somewhat more understanding. nstead of telling you that

the
house is trashed he could just pick up and deal with it. Instead of

letting
you cry he could make you a cup of hot chocolate and take the 3YO for an
hour or two for you.
I don't see your problems as being BF problems, I see them as being DH
problems. He needs to be the one to support you now and I'm truely sorry
that he isn't. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your baby and I'm sorry

for
your whole family unit. If he won't support you in something as *small*

(in
the whole picture) as this, what happens when something major comes along?

Jen
*who can't STAND unsupportive husbands*




  #29  
Old December 12th 03, 05:40 AM
badgirl
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye ((Thanks))

Do you think maybe you could refrain from yelling?
I could be a royal ass and go on the defensive and yell back but I won't. I
simply pointed out what I saw as the problem, and I still feel that's the
most likely suspect.
It seems to me that you could make other choices and have it turn out well
for all of you. I'm glad you got your baby as much breastmilk as you did,
but I'm also dissappointed just like I was when my sisters quit. They had
the same kinds of excuses and it didn't matter how much I offered to
help...even to the point of babysitting for their older kids so they could
get a good rythm going with BF for the babies. Apparently like you, they had
made up their minds and nothing I offered to help with was going to change
it. Whatever. No, breastfeeding is not the only important aspect of
parenting, but it is a big one IMO and sometimes other things need to be at
least temporarily readjusted in order to succeed at it...or any other part
of being a parent for that matter.

Jen
"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:7xaCb.665374$6C4.338699@pd7tw1no...
in bold (IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THE ENTIRE FAMILY TOGETHER!

HE
IS SUPPORTIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THERE IS ONLY SO
MUCH ANY ONES DH CAN TAKE, AND NO PUNY CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE CAN CONSOLE ME
AFTER SPENDING THE DAY WITH A DAUGHTER WHO IS CRYING BECAUSE I AM

NEGLECTING
HER. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY TIMES READING HER A BOOK WHILE IM NURSING WILL
AMUSE A 3.5 YEAROLD, AND IM SICK OF USING T.V AS A BABYSITTER.)

it is not a small thing, it was a big deal! Nevermind my dh, my daughter

was
suffering greatly because of this. I great cure would be to put her in
preschool a couple afternoons a week but we cant afford it and are just
barely above the financial standards for any type of subsidy. I have

looked
at many routes to try and make this better on every one.
I am only 22
DH is 26
DD is almost 4
DS is 4.5 weeks
We own a house
We own a new car
We are doing very well for people so young, and its hard and stressful to
deal with all of these (new) responsibilities. Maybe I'm not mature enough
to be completely selfless, maybe I'm not mature enough to figure out how

to
bf and take care of my family. Regardless, I am trying my best.

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:FR8Cb.367876$ao4.1233531@attbi_s51...

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:kP7Cb.663747$6C4.568845@pd7tw1no...


Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice

place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has

torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know

something
NEEDS to change.

K-K



I would think that change needs to come from DH. Instead of dreading

coming
home he could be somewhat more understanding. nstead of telling you that

the
house is trashed he could just pick up and deal with it. Instead of

letting
you cry he could make you a cup of hot chocolate and take the 3YO for an
hour or two for you.
I don't see your problems as being BF problems, I see them as being DH
problems. He needs to be the one to support you now and I'm truely sorry
that he isn't. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your baby and I'm sorry

for
your whole family unit. If he won't support you in something as *small*

(in
the whole picture) as this, what happens when something major comes

along?

Jen
*who can't STAND unsupportive husbands*






  #30  
Old December 12th 03, 07:26 AM
Denise
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default A sad good bye ((Thanks))


"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:7xaCb.665374$6C4.338699@pd7tw1no...
in bold (IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THE ENTIRE FAMILY TOGETHER!

HE
IS SUPPORTIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THERE IS ONLY SO
MUCH ANY ONES DH CAN TAKE, AND NO PUNY CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE CAN CONSOLE ME
AFTER SPENDING THE DAY WITH A DAUGHTER WHO IS CRYING BECAUSE I AM

NEGLECTING
HER. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY TIMES READING HER A BOOK WHILE IM NURSING WILL
AMUSE A 3.5 YEAROLD, AND IM SICK OF USING T.V AS A BABYSITTER.)


I'm really, honestly things didn't work out for you. Have you considered
maybe getting screened for PPD? What do you suppose other moms with more
than one child do while they nurse? Its good that you are doing so well for
your age, but honestly, age has nothing to do with maturity, or parenting,
or the ability to handle responsibilities, or make commitments.. etc. I'm
24. I have 3 kids and 1 on the way. My husband's 31, he's been in the Navy
for 14 years and we own stuff. Does that make me or him better parents than
you or anyone else? No. Parenting isn't a competition. If you're happy,
good. You don't need to make excuses for making decision. Part of being an
adult is making decisions for your family. You did. Good. Don't make
excuses to appease others.





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