I'm a horrible, horrible person and mother...

Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By huge, I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he snuck up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean, good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him, literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them, obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...

I think you might need to take some anger management classes...soon. You
need to realize that your child comes first and it might be time to let the
animals go to a better suited home. A child needs to be taught how to act
towards others and animals, as a mom that is your job, i'm afraid you're
about to be fired. I hope someone near you has the good sense in calling
Child and Family Services.

"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...

"Megan" lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

I think you might need to take some anger management classes...soon. You
need to realize that your child comes first and it might be time to let the
animals go to a better suited home. A child needs to be taught how to act
towards others and animals, as a mom that is your job, i'm afraid you're
about to be fired. I hope someone near you has the good sense in calling
Child and Family Services.

I do hope this was meant to be ironic!

"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...




Kat,

You are a human being. Accidents happen. What happened with the door was
an accident. You did not intentionally go into that room in order to hurt
your son. I do think you need some sort of help, to figure out what's going
on in your head. Having said that, I need to tell you, I do not think you
are a bad mother. Nor are you a failure. You are a human being who gets
tired, and angry, and frustrated. I have felt the same way. I have yelled
or screamed at my son in the past instead of calming down first. Find
someone, a support group, or individual counselor, or good friend; someone
to talk to, to vent your frustrations. It does help. When bad things start
piling up in life, the rest of the world seems bleak and meaningless. This
is the time to say, "I can't do it all alone." You know what happened was
an accident. Your son is not seriously injured, nor will he be scarred for
life. You will get through this, and come out stronger in the end. You are
a very strong young woman, and I hold you in high regards for all you have
been through. We are always hardest on ourselves. Try not to do that to
yourself. You don't need any more beating up. You are cared about here,
and I will send good thoughts, and loving prayers your direction. Let us
know how things are going. Don't keep it bottled up.

Best wishes,
Betsy

"Megan" wrote in message
news:GLjnb.199843$9l5.175691@pd7tw2no...
I think you might need to take some anger management classes...soon. You
need to realize that your child comes first and it might be time to let
the
animals go to a better suited home. A child needs to be taught how to act
towards others and animals, as a mom that is your job, i'm afraid you're
about to be fired. I hope someone near you has the good sense in calling
Child and Family Services.

Do you think this is helpful? Sounds like you are bitter and angry
yourself. What you have posted is not support.

"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By
huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he
snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past
couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot
of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take
one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found
him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his
room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked
it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it
often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had
a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to
calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back
upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a
human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way
I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his
huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and
make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...

"Megan" wrote in message
news:GLjnb.199843$9l5.175691@pd7tw2no...
I think you might need to take some anger management classes...soon. You
need to realize that your child comes first and it might be time to let
the
animals go to a better suited home. A child needs to be taught how to act
towards others and animals, as a mom that is your job, i'm afraid you're
about to be fired. I hope someone near you has the good sense in calling
Child and Family Services.



Shut the **** up you ****. You don't know anything about her... people like
you **** me off... the nerve of some people!

Christine


"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By
huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he
snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past
couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot
of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take
one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found
him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his
room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked
it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it
often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had
a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to
calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back
upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a
human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way
I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his
huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and
make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...

"Betsy" wrote in message
om...

"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By
huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he
snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past
couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot
of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take
one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found
him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his
room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked
it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it
often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had
a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to
calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back
upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a
human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way
I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his
huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and
make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...




Kat,

You are a human being. Accidents happen. What happened with the door was
an accident. You did not intentionally go into that room in order to hurt
your son. I do think you need some sort of help, to figure out what's
going
on in your head. Having said that, I need to tell you, I do not think you
are a bad mother. Nor are you a failure. You are a human being who gets
tired, and angry, and frustrated. I have felt the same way. I have
yelled
or screamed at my son in the past instead of calming down first. Find
someone, a support group, or individual counselor, or good friend; someone
to talk to, to vent your frustrations. It does help. When bad things
start
piling up in life, the rest of the world seems bleak and meaningless.
This
is the time to say, "I can't do it all alone." You know what happened was
an accident. Your son is not seriously injured, nor will he be scarred
for
life. You will get through this, and come out stronger in the end. You
are
a very strong young woman, and I hold you in high regards for all you have
been through. We are always hardest on ourselves. Try not to do that to
yourself. You don't need any more beating up. You are cared about here,
and I will send good thoughts, and loving prayers your direction. Let us
know how things are going. Don't keep it bottled up.

Best wishes,
Betsy


Kat, I agree with everything Betsy says and then some. I have been where
you are, and it's not your fault. The fact that you even posted this, and
your concern about your son, and about what happened shows me that you are
not a bad mother. Is your son happy? Healthy? Well fed? In bed at a
decent hour? Gets hugs and kisses? Yesssss... So ffs, give yourself a
break girl.

Christine

'Kate wrote in message ...
On Mon, 27 Oct 2003 23:37:56 GMT, "©kat©"
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past
couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot
of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take
one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found
him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his
room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it
often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to
calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back
upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way
I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his
huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...


It was an accident. You were angry, that's true. However, you were not
trying to hurt him. You were working to keep him from harming a living
thing. You were also overtired because of his behavior. That's probably
something to work on in the future - his sleep habits.

If anyone says anything, just tell them that you didn't expect him to be
behind the door when you opened it. That's the truth.

Kids, by the way, make lousy doorstops.

'Kate


LOL I remember a time that I did the same thing, my son got the door knob
right in the forehead... ohhh the tears. He had a purple circle for a good
week... ahhh the memories. I think I even have a photo kicking around. lol

Kat, you beat yourself up far too much... I think you're doing a great job.
If you need a coffee, you know where to find me.

Christine

"steveb" wrote in message
...
"Megan" lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

I think you might need to take some anger management classes...soon. You
need to realize that your child comes first and it might be time to let
the
animals go to a better suited home. A child needs to be taught how to
act
towards others and animals, as a mom that is your job, i'm afraid you're
about to be fired. I hope someone near you has the good sense in calling
Child and Family Services.

I do hope this was meant to be ironic!

Somehow I think not but then maybe I'm just a cynic.


--
Paul Griffiths

Firstly, no you're not IMHO naturally.

The door thing was an accident, period. They happen, not a problem, end of
discussion.

Your child's behaviour and your reaction to it are another matter.

How old is he? I ask because between the ages of about 8 to 12 I went
through a phase where it was "fun" to kill things, or arrange for them to be
killed, too. Spiders, flies, ants, slugs, snails even a frog once. Not
something I'm happy about but it has made me even more caring of all life
now so not all bad I suppose. Dunno how natural this is but I suspect it's
pretty common. Seemed to be a cross between finding out how things worked
and pushing the envelope in respect of what I could and couldn't do.

Then there's the top shelf of the closet thing. The way I see it is that
you were concerned for his safety. Sounds fair to me but don't expect him
to share your concern or even understand it. I know I wouldn't have at one
point. I used to climb all over and seemed to spend an awful lot of time on
one roof or another or jumping between them. I'm a little more sensible
these days, well I hope I am anyway.

As for losing it and shouting at him I don't see any problem with that
either as long as it doesn't happen all the time. I don't think it harms
them to realise there are some things that we feel very strongly about. If
nothing else he knows where you draw that particular line in no uncertain
terms.

More important is how you behaved afterwards and I think you did fine. Have
you talked to him since about how he feels about it all?

Hang in there, you're doing okay.


--
Paul Griffiths