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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
Hi everybody,
Thanks for the replies. I'm not really concerned about the schedule yet, I think hubby would like it because he keeps trying to get to bed by 10 and the boys keep keeping us up until 11:30 or 12. More important is the learning-to-go-to-sleep-on-their-own thing. Take last night for example: boys weren't asleep (therefore not in bed) until 12:30am. 3am Chris wakes up, wanting to be fed: hubby has to get up with him because I have to express breastmilk (can't leave it or I leak all over everywhere, wasting precious BM). 3:30am, Alex wakes up. I'm finished expressing, Chris is finished feeding *but* he's not asleep again yet. So hubby has to stay up feeding Alex while I try and get Chris to sleep. By 4:00am both had finished feeding, neither was asleep, so both hubby and I had to still be up. It was about 5:30 before all of us were in bed again, and poor hubby is supposed to be out to work by 7:30am. We were up for 2.5 hours, and only about 50 minutes of that was actually feeding. Days like today (as hubby and I stumble around bleary eyed) I feel like we *need* to teach the boys to go to sleep on their own. But I understand from a lot of your posts that they are still simply too young. SIGH At least I had a mother's helper in this morning so I grabbed an extra hour sleep, but hubby doesn't have that option :-( Marie "Marie" wrote in message e.rogers.com... My twin boys are 3.5 mos old, about 6 wks corrected. They are beginning to sleep 5 hrs at night *once* we get them to sleep, but getting them to sleep is a challenge. They both want to be held while falling asleep, until they are *completely* asleep. If they are even just dozing when we put them down in their crib, they wake up howling and screaming and we have to begin the entire settling down/falling asleep process all over again. This is a pain as one of them, who tends towards colic, can sometimes take upwards of two hours to fall asleep :-( The other one averages about 30-40 mins for the process. I know they are too young for Ferber, but I would *really* like to teach them how to fall asleep in their cribs--it seems like an important lifeskill. Besides, they knew how to do it once, I think: they spent the first 5.5 wks of their life in the hospital and the nurses certainly didn't hold them all the time. Even when I was there during the day they would be out of their cots for feeding and then placed back in, even if they were awake. BTW, it's not just at night--during the day they insist on being held as well. When/how can I start teaching them to relax themselves to sleep on their own? When/how do I start trying to introduce a "scheduled" nap-time into their lives? TIA Marie Chris & Alex--born 04/23/03 (31 wks gestational) |
#2
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
I haven't been totally following this line because I was out of town all
week but I feel for you! Mine went through weekly stages....either they both woke up at the same time or they tag teamed....the only time where it was really difficult was when I just started feeding one and the other woke up shortly there after....thats when I had to wake up dh, otherwise it was all on me to change/feed them at night. I didn't BF, so mine were bottle-fed....while they were very young, I did manage to hold both and feed both at the same time but propping them on pillows, side by side and then holding the bottles also worked well (also made it *kind of* easier to stay awake)....the routine was kinda basic....when they woke, I got the bottles warmed (either by the bottle warmer or just via tap), changed them then fed em, then back to bed.....I can't remember when I started them on their schedule....I know they started sleeping longer at 2.5mos so it must've been sometime after that .... but now come 7pm they know its bed time!! All I have to say/announce is "Its bed time!" and there they go....two cute butts walking down the hallway right to their room! Boy, when they are ready for it, scheduling is definatly the way to go!! Oh, I got sidetracked.....as someone else stated, I would wake the other one up to change/feed at the same time.....getting tagteamed is the worse!....actually you don't have to "wake them up"...you just get them out of bed and then change and feed (if they take it, they take it, if they don't, they don't) oh, and I don't know how light you sleep, but I know with all three of mine, I could sleep while they were awake, cradled in my arms....if they moved, then I instantly woke...but outside of being on a boob, there's nothing a babe likes more than being nuzzled on moms/dads chest, listening to their heartbeats...knocks em right out! hth -- Gwen, Designer Wraps SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02) tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives! www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but singletons can use it too!) www.familyauction.com www.wahmall.com www.wahmauctions.com |
#3
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
I remember those awful nights...really I do...do try the tandem nursing, a
BFing pillow or just a whole bunch of pillows around you, football holds and see if that works. No sleep makes one nuts..I remember that too. Most babies don't mind sharing mom at that age so the double feeding might work. I did try to wake one up when I fed the other and it worked for a while until the other one went on strike when I would wake them up. But for a while it helps mom and dad get a few more winks. Good luck, hang in there, it seems like a long time but really it will be over and you will be surprised. Shirley Chris and Kathleen 1/95 "Sue" wrote in message ... My friend had twins and if one woke up to feed during the night, she woke the other one too to feed at the same time. I don't know if that is an option for you and your husband, but at least they got the feedings done at the same time. She only did this in the middle of the night. -- Sue mom to three girls Marie wrote in message le.rogers.com... Hi everybody, Thanks for the replies. I'm not really concerned about the schedule yet, I think hubby would like it because he keeps trying to get to bed by 10 and the boys keep keeping us up until 11:30 or 12. More important is the learning-to-go-to-sleep-on-their-own thing. Take last night for example: boys weren't asleep (therefore not in bed) until 12:30am. 3am Chris wakes up, wanting to be fed: hubby has to get up with him because I have to express breastmilk (can't leave it or I leak all over everywhere, wasting precious BM). 3:30am, Alex wakes up. I'm finished expressing, Chris is finished feeding *but* he's not asleep again yet. So hubby has to stay up feeding Alex while I try and get Chris to sleep. By 4:00am both had finished feeding, neither was asleep, so both hubby and I had to still be up. It was about 5:30 before all of us were in bed again, and poor hubby is supposed to be out to work by 7:30am. We were up for 2.5 hours, and only about 50 minutes of that was actually feeding. Days like today (as hubby and I stumble around bleary eyed) I feel like we *need* to teach the boys to go to sleep on their own. But I understand from a lot of your posts that they are still simply too young. SIGH At least I had a mother's helper in this morning so I grabbed an extra hour sleep, but hubby doesn't have that option :-( Marie "Marie" wrote in message e.rogers.com... My twin boys are 3.5 mos old, about 6 wks corrected. They are beginning to sleep 5 hrs at night *once* we get them to sleep, but getting them to sleep is a challenge. They both want to be held while falling asleep, until they are *completely* asleep. If they are even just dozing when we put them down in their crib, they wake up howling and screaming and we have to begin the entire settling down/falling asleep process all over again. This is a pain as one of them, who tends towards colic, can sometimes take upwards of two hours to fall asleep :-( The other one averages about 30-40 mins for the process. I know they are too young for Ferber, but I would *really* like to teach them how to fall asleep in their cribs--it seems like an important lifeskill. Besides, they knew how to do it once, I think: they spent the first 5.5 wks of their life in the hospital and the nurses certainly didn't hold them all the time. Even when I was there during the day they would be out of their cots for feeding and then placed back in, even if they were awake. BTW, it's not just at night--during the day they insist on being held as well. When/how can I start teaching them to relax themselves to sleep on their own? When/how do I start trying to introduce a "scheduled" nap-time into their lives? TIA Marie Chris & Alex--born 04/23/03 (31 wks gestational) |
#4
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
My friend had twins and if one woke up to feed during the night, she woke
the other one too to feed at the same time. I don't know if that is an option for you and your husband, but at least they got the feedings done at the same time. She only did this in the middle of the night. -- Sue mom to three girls Marie wrote in message le.rogers.com... Hi everybody, Thanks for the replies. I'm not really concerned about the schedule yet, I think hubby would like it because he keeps trying to get to bed by 10 and the boys keep keeping us up until 11:30 or 12. More important is the learning-to-go-to-sleep-on-their-own thing. Take last night for example: boys weren't asleep (therefore not in bed) until 12:30am. 3am Chris wakes up, wanting to be fed: hubby has to get up with him because I have to express breastmilk (can't leave it or I leak all over everywhere, wasting precious BM). 3:30am, Alex wakes up. I'm finished expressing, Chris is finished feeding *but* he's not asleep again yet. So hubby has to stay up feeding Alex while I try and get Chris to sleep. By 4:00am both had finished feeding, neither was asleep, so both hubby and I had to still be up. It was about 5:30 before all of us were in bed again, and poor hubby is supposed to be out to work by 7:30am. We were up for 2.5 hours, and only about 50 minutes of that was actually feeding. Days like today (as hubby and I stumble around bleary eyed) I feel like we *need* to teach the boys to go to sleep on their own. But I understand from a lot of your posts that they are still simply too young. SIGH At least I had a mother's helper in this morning so I grabbed an extra hour sleep, but hubby doesn't have that option :-( Marie "Marie" wrote in message e.rogers.com... My twin boys are 3.5 mos old, about 6 wks corrected. They are beginning to sleep 5 hrs at night *once* we get them to sleep, but getting them to sleep is a challenge. They both want to be held while falling asleep, until they are *completely* asleep. If they are even just dozing when we put them down in their crib, they wake up howling and screaming and we have to begin the entire settling down/falling asleep process all over again. This is a pain as one of them, who tends towards colic, can sometimes take upwards of two hours to fall asleep :-( The other one averages about 30-40 mins for the process. I know they are too young for Ferber, but I would *really* like to teach them how to fall asleep in their cribs--it seems like an important lifeskill. Besides, they knew how to do it once, I think: they spent the first 5.5 wks of their life in the hospital and the nurses certainly didn't hold them all the time. Even when I was there during the day they would be out of their cots for feeding and then placed back in, even if they were awake. BTW, it's not just at night--during the day they insist on being held as well. When/how can I start teaching them to relax themselves to sleep on their own? When/how do I start trying to introduce a "scheduled" nap-time into their lives? TIA Marie Chris & Alex--born 04/23/03 (31 wks gestational) |
#5
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
Marie,
I had (what sounds like) the same sleep goals for my kids that you have. My belief for our family is that kids should go to bed and stay there until they get up in the morning. Bad dreams, thunderstorms, illness, etc. do not count, btw! You have already heard that it is too early to worry about this, although I sympaythize with you. I think a key thing we did was start putting them in their cribs at about a month of age after that early evening feeding, around 8 pm or so?? Door closed, room dark, so they know it is now nighttime. The nighttime feedings were done, then back to the cribs. In the daytime it took a little longer for them to start napping in the cribs. I kept a log of feeding and sleeping, and one day when they were about 5 mos. old I realized that they had napped at right around the same times for a few days straight. Alas, our two-nap schedule was born! Another suggestion if you are not already doing it...when one wakes up to eat, either wake the other at the same time or right after so they get on the same feeding schedule. My boys have eaten, napped, and gone to bed at the same time since they've been on a schedule. They didn't have a choice Otherwise you will get no sleep and get nothing done. Don't fret too much right now about having to let them cry it out, etc. I am a firm believer in children going to sleep on their own and staying asleep, but I am not some tyrant who let them cry for hours. They really never needed much "coaching". All 3 now go to bed and sleep 11-12 hrs. Yours may be the same way, or you may need to "teach" them. You may find that you'll do anything to get some sleep and have them both in with you if need be! Take it one step at a time and things will fall into place. You have probably already realized that people have very strong opinions about the sleep topic. I'm sure some are reading this thinking I am a heartless wench because I don't sleep with my kids or let them sleep with me. Just do what works for you. Good luck and hang in there! Ellen -------- Erin 6/26/95 Bradley & Alex 10/5/00 |
#6
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
Ellen Kmetz writes:
I had (what sounds like) the same sleep goals for my kids that you have. My belief for our family is that kids should go to bed and stay there until they get up in the morning. Bad dreams, thunderstorms, illness, etc. do not count, btw! OK, I really can't tell. Do you mean that being sick isn't a valid excuse for not sleeping according to your standards? Or do you mean the opposite: that you're willing to waive your mandate in case of sickness? David desJardins |
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
I think she meant she believes they should stay in bed until morning. However,
she makes an exception when there is a bad dream or illness... That is how I read it. ~Kimberly Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02 come see us... http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/ |
#8
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
I think she meant she believes they should stay in bed until morning.
However, she makes an exception when there is a bad dream or illness... That is how I read it. That is exactly what I meant, Kim! Ellen -------- Erin 6/26/95 Bradley & Alex 10/5/00 |
#9
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
I think I remember mine pulling that one too....thinking that 3 am was
morning! ahhhh well, at least around here they repeat the previous nights local news at that time.....plus it a good time to run another load of laundry! -- Gwen, Designer Wraps SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02) tired of eBay? Try these great alternatives! www.tobuytwo.com ....auction house for families of multiples (but singletons can use it too!) www.familyauction.com www.wahmall.com www.wahmauctions.com "Bert Szala" wrote in message ... My girls just turned 7 months monday (6 weeks premature) and I have to echo the sentiments that I've heard. If one wakes up they both get fed (only at night). Mind you that I have to feed them formula (they can't eat my breast milk - but that's another story!). We keep lights and noise to an absolute minimum, just enought to measure the meds and mix the formula (and not stumble). Usually we are able to get them both back to sleep with singing and carrying. If they wake up after 3am for the "midnight" feeding we seem to be out of luck. At that point they seem to think that they've had enough sleep and it's time to play. Bert PS I keep telling myself that it gets easier but DH and I have yet to get a full night's sleep (or enough sleep for that matter) since they were born. Sue wrote: My friend had twins and if one woke up to feed during the night, she woke the other one too to feed at the same time. I don't know if that is an option for you and your husband, but at least they got the feedings done at the same time. She only did this in the middle of the night. -- Sue mom to three girls Marie wrote in message ble.rogers.com... Hi everybody, Thanks for the replies. I'm not really concerned about the schedule yet, I think hubby would like it because he keeps trying to get to bed by 10 and the boys keep keeping us up until 11:30 or 12. More important is the learning-to-go-to-sleep-on-their-own thing. Take last night for example: boys weren't asleep (therefore not in bed) until 12:30am. 3am Chris wakes up, wanting to be fed: hubby has to get up with him because I have to express breastmilk (can't leave it or I leak all over everywhere, wasting precious BM). 3:30am, Alex wakes up. I'm finished expressing, Chris is finished feeding *but* he's not asleep again yet. So hubby has to stay up feeding Alex while I try and get Chris to sleep. By 4:00am both had finished feeding, neither was asleep, so both hubby and I had to still be up. It was about 5:30 before all of us were in bed again, and poor hubby is supposed to be out to work by 7:30am. We were up for 2.5 hours, and only about 50 minutes of that was actually feeding. Days like today (as hubby and I stumble around bleary eyed) I feel like we *need* to teach the boys to go to sleep on their own. But I understand from a lot of your posts that they are still simply too young. SIGH At least I had a mother's helper in this morning so I grabbed an extra hour sleep, but hubby doesn't have that option :-( Marie "Marie" wrote in message ble.rogers.com... My twin boys are 3.5 mos old, about 6 wks corrected. They are beginning to sleep 5 hrs at night *once* we get them to sleep, but getting them to sleep is a challenge. They both want to be held while falling asleep, until they are *completely* asleep. If they are even just dozing when we put them down in their crib, they wake up howling and screaming and we have to begin the entire settling down/falling asleep process all over again. This is a pain as one of them, who tends towards colic, can sometimes take upwards of two hours to fall asleep :-( The other one averages about 30-40 mins for the process. I know they are too young for Ferber, but I would *really* like to teach them how to fall asleep in their cribs--it seems like an important lifeskill. Besides, they knew how to do it once, I think: they spent the first 5.5 wks of their life in the hospital and the nurses certainly didn't hold them all the time. Even when I was there during the day they would be out of their cots for feeding and then placed back in, even if they were awake. BTW, it's not just at night--during the day they insist on being held as well. When/how can I start teaching them to relax themselves to sleep on their own? When/how do I start trying to introduce a "scheduled" nap-time into their lives? TIA Marie Chris & Alex--born 04/23/03 (31 wks gestational) |
#10
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Clarification teaching good sleep habits (xpost)
On Wed, 06 Aug 2003 12:24:42 GMT, Bert Szala
wrote: PS I keep telling myself that it gets easier but DH and I have yet to get a full night's sleep (or enough sleep for that matter) since they were born. Again, I don't multiples. At night, I did all the feeding and waking during the week, which included pumping with my DD (for the first few weeks). My DH had to be at work at 7am. I went to bed early usually by 8pm. So he did the evening shift with DD, and I did the night shift. On one weekend night a week, DH did the night shift for me so I could sleep through. If you are breastfeeding, this might not work. It is what helped me save my sanity and get enough sleep. -- Daye Momma to Jayan EDD 11 Jan 2004 |
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