Sooooo frustrated

My 12 year old son has attention deficit. He has never had an IEP and
up until now has been able to be successful in school. When he began
having difficulty at the beginning of middle school last fall, I
visited the assistant principal to talk about an IEP but was
discouraged from doing that because it would, in the view of the
principal, stigmatize him. Instead, he suggested we rely on informal
arrangements with teachers.


Most teachers have been helpful. One, however, his science teacher,
has been very discouraging.


The latest incident with her involves a lost study guide for a test.
Papers get lost very easily in the ADD student's world. This is a
one-page sheet that basically lists all the facts that will be on the
test. It's been very helpful in past tests.

Henry lost his study guide and when he asked her for a new one she
refused. Assuming that he had misunderstood (taking "not now" to mean
"not ever") I e-mailed her to clarify. No, she responded, she will not
provide a second copy.

I've requested a meeting with the assistant principal who discouraged
the IEP last fall. I am going to insist on a formalized IEP. I'm
looking for ideas for the types of accommodations I should request,
especially as concerns lost papers. Do any of you have ideas? I've
never done this before.

Things we have in place informally:
-Extra copies of all textbooks kept at home so that he does not have to
remember to bring books home.
-A tacit understanding that when homework loads are heavy, we may elect
to allow Henry to dictate his answers to us as we type them into a
computer.
-At times, we have had teachers checking Henry's planner to ensure he
has written down homework assignments correctly. He hates this, as he
feels it stigmatizes him, and so we have not insisted on it.

What other ideas do you have? Can an IEP help with an uncooperative
teacher like this one? Am I overreacting?


Thanks in advance,


Dawn

In article .com, Dawn says...

My 12 year old son has attention deficit. He has never had an IEP and
up until now has been able to be successful in school. When he began
having difficulty at the beginning of middle school last fall, I
visited the assistant principal to talk about an IEP but was
discouraged from doing that because it would, in the view of the
principal, stigmatize him. Instead, he suggested we rely on informal
arrangements with teachers.


Most teachers have been helpful. One, however, his science teacher,
has been very discouraging.

::Snip::


Things we have in place informally:
-Extra copies of all textbooks kept at home so that he does not have to
remember to bring books home.
-A tacit understanding that when homework loads are heavy, we may elect
to allow Henry to dictate his answers to us as we type them into a
computer.
-At times, we have had teachers checking Henry's planner to ensure he
has written down homework assignments correctly. He hates this, as he
feels it stigmatizes him, and so we have not insisted on it.

What other ideas do you have? Can an IEP help with an uncooperative
teacher like this one? Am I overreacting?

I can't comment specifically about IEP's. But if you've gotten this much
cooperation, and it's only one teacher that's not working with you informally,
can you institute a work-around of your own, like having Henry get the list from
a friend in the class?

Also with my non-ADHD son, sometimes he'll be disorganized (he tends to be
messy) or just *claim* to be disorganized, and I'll follow up with checking his
planner every day for awhile. If there is a question, he has two or three
friends he can call for clarification. Just the action of my checking gets him
focussed because he'd rather have Mommy out of it. :-) I know your son has a
different problem, but possibly he can double-check things with friends. Surely
other students do.

Some teachers at our school daily put the assignments on a webpage. Including
my son's science teacher (seems his science teacher is his bugaboo this year,
too!) That's another resource which helps every kid. Maybe you can encourage
that at your school.

Banty

Hi --

First of all, have you gone in to speak with the teacher? If you
schedule a conference (preferably at the start the the semester) to
explain the situation and ask what class expectations are, what you can
do to help, what accomodations the teacher thinks are reasonable, *most*
teachers will do their best to help a child succeed.

Second, don't other students in the class have the study guide?
Couldn't you take your child over to another child's house, borrow the
guide, copy it, return it, and then let your child study from it? Why
do you need to go through the teacher for something like that? This is
the kind of thing your child will probably be doing all his life --
getting extra copies of lost items -- so he may as well learn how to do
it now.

I know this doesn't speak directly to the question of an IEP. I'm
afradi I have no experience with those.

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Thanks to everyone so far for the excellent suggestions. Just to
clarify, we already have taken each of the steps suggested. He did try
to get the study guide from another student, but we weren't able to
locate anyone -- it's complicated, but this particular class is not in
his regular "group" and he doesn't know many kids from the class -- and
wasn't able to contact the few he did know. I check his planner every
day, period. That's the kind of thing you absolutely have to do with
an ADD kids. I was told at orientation that every class's homework
would be on the website -- that has only been true for one of his four
teachers consistently. When the assignments are online, the actual
worksheets are not. So in this case I knew the study guide was due but
couldn't access the study guide. Lastly, we met with all the teachers
at the beginning of the year and twice since then. This one has also
refused to let him to go the nurse to get needed medication for
migraine headaches. It's my personal opinion that she has just decided
not to like him for who-knows-what reason.

She's been rude to me in person and in e-mail. I'm not willing to
schedule another conference, it's time to take this to her superior in
my view. Hence, the IEP question. For his good, I need some assurance
that we're not just going to rely on the kindness of teachers (as
wonderful as that is when it happens).

-Dawn

Dawn wrote:
Thanks to everyone so far for the excellent suggestions. Just to
clarify, we already have taken each of the steps suggested. He did try
to get the study guide from another student, but we weren't able to
locate anyone -- it's complicated, but this particular class is not in
his regular "group" and he doesn't know many kids from the class -- and
wasn't able to contact the few he did know. I check his planner every
day, period. That's the kind of thing you absolutely have to do with
an ADD kids. I was told at orientation that every class's homework
would be on the website -- that has only been true for one of his four
teachers consistently. When the assignments are online, the actual
worksheets are not. So in this case I knew the study guide was due but
couldn't access the study guide. Lastly, we met with all the teachers
at the beginning of the year and twice since then. This one has also
refused to let him to go the nurse to get needed medication for
migraine headaches. It's my personal opinion that she has just decided
not to like him for who-knows-what reason.

She's been rude to me in person and in e-mail. I'm not willing to
schedule another conference, it's time to take this to her superior in
my view. Hence, the IEP question. For his good, I need some assurance
that we're not just going to rely on the kindness of teachers (as
wonderful as that is when it happens).

-Dawn


Dawn, this sounds very frustrating, and what unprofessional
behavior on the part of the teacher! Yikes! It sounds like
you've done all you can, and it's absolutely time to go
up the food chain.

I think I'd be doing the same thing, were I in your shoes.

Scott, DD 11 and DS 9, in cold and blustery WI (but did DD
wear a coat today? Oh nooooo!!)

In article .com,
Dawn wrote:


What other ideas do you have? Can an IEP help with an uncooperative
teacher like this one? Am I overreacting?


My instinct would be that it will not help with an uncooperative teacher,
or that she will "get back at him" in other ways for having to "put up
with it". Since he has been getting along well overall without the IEP,
I might be tempted to look for other options. For example, does he have
a friend in science class whose papers he (you) might be photocopy in the
case of lost papers?

Good luck!!
--Robyn

..

In article .com,
Dawn wrote:

I was told at orientation that every class's homework
would be on the website -- that has only been true for one of his four
teachers consistently. When the assignments are online, the actual
worksheets are not. So in this case I knew the study guide was due but
couldn't access the study guide. Lastly, we met with all the teachers
at the beginning of the year and twice since then. This one has also
refused to let him to go the nurse to get needed medication for
migraine headaches. It's my personal opinion that she has just decided
not to like him for who-knows-what reason.

She's been rude to me in person and in e-mail. I'm not willing to
schedule another conference, it's time to take this to her superior in
my view. Hence, the IEP question. For his good, I need some assurance
that we're not just going to rely on the kindness of teachers (as
wonderful as that is when it happens).

What a terrible situation you have with this teacher! Have you been
able to do anything about the medication situation? I think I would
tell my child to walk right out of class in a situation like that, though
that would certainly exacerbate the situation

I definitely agree that it's time to go over her head. However, I'm
not sure if an IEP is the route you necessarily want/need to take.
The problems with this teacher aren't really limited to to issues
related to your son's ADD anyhow.

I might start with the website -- apparently it is school policy that
assignements be listed, yet they are not being listed. Perhaps you
could approach this issue first, as well as suggesting/requesting that
supporting materials (worksheets, etc.) be made available there as
well.

At least around here, the IEP process is a major pain. They are
required to do very thorough testing of the student before developing
an IEP, even if something like ADD has already been diagnosed, and even
if everyone in attendance agrees on the child's issues and the desired
goals and accomodations. This I know from experience (email me offline
if you want to hear details). We got what we wanted/needed, but it
took, literally, months to get there. Also, a child is only entitled
to an IEP if you can prove that the child's differences prevent them
from performing at grade level in school without the required
services/accomodations. Since your son has been doing fine thus far,
that might be hard to prove, though a cooperative team can usually find
a standard or two that your child is failing at to get you past that
"gate".

All this to say that, you might want to meet with the vice principal
just for a conference, not necessarily to request an IEP, at least at
first, and see if that doesn't gain you enough ground. You may indeed
need to go the IEP route since you have one teacher who is a major
hard-@$$, but it's probably worth investigating other less-formal
approaches first.

Good luck!!
--Robyn
..

Robyn Kozierok wrote:
snip

I might start with the website -- apparently it is school policy that
assignements be listed, yet they are not being listed. Perhaps you
could approach this issue first, as well as suggesting/requesting that
supporting materials (worksheets, etc.) be made available there as
well.
snip

That's probably not legal. Some textbook companies allow teachers to
photocopy worksheets for in-classroom use (many require consumable
workbooks be purchased, and no material be reproduced by the school),
but putting them up on a website will probably get the school stormed by
the DMCA Nazis, unless, of course, the worksheets were put together by
the teachers themselves, and can not be shown to in any way to be a
derivative work of the textbook (a sticky legal matter I won't even go
near). Unless the teachers write all their own materials, putting
worksheets and such up on a web site is probably begging for textbook
companies to sue the school. Sad but true.

Susan

In article .com,
Dawn wrote:

I was told at orientation that every class's homework
would be on the website -- that has only been true for one of his four
teachers consistently. When the assignments are online, the actual
worksheets are not. So in this case I knew the study guide was due but
couldn't access the study guide. Lastly, we met with all the teachers
at the beginning of the year and twice since then. This one has also
refused to let him to go the nurse to get needed medication for
migraine headaches. It's my personal opinion that she has just decided
not to like him for who-knows-what reason.

She's been rude to me in person and in e-mail. I'm not willing to
schedule another conference, it's time to take this to her superior in
my view. Hence, the IEP question. For his good, I need some assurance
that we're not just going to rely on the kindness of teachers (as
wonderful as that is when it happens).

Since I used to be a science teacher and I would not behave like that
I was kind of upset that it was a science teacher that was doing it.

I also agree that an IEP isn't really the way to go. What you have to
deal with is not Henry so much as this particular teacher and that
could be the possibility with anyone. It happened a couple of times
to mine. It sounds like he's coping fine without an ISP in general,
and I agree with the principal on this - it will be another strike
against him, and it IS a major PITA.

Is there no possibility whatever that Henry can transfer to another
class? It sounds to me that anything would be better than this
teacher even if it creates a less optimum learning experience. I
would rather even see him in a study hall than in this toxic
environment.

Is she a new teacher, and thus slightly incompetent or uncomfortable
or overwhelmed? Or is she trained in some other field and has to
teach science because there's a shortage (like elementary trained
where they are considered able to teach 'anything') and she is not
really comfortable with it? Is she an old teacher who is set in her
ways? Is she perhaps prejudiced against Henry because of his race and
perhaps you because he is a different race?

I ask these questions because I think that in order to find any
satisfactory solution (since asking nicely has not worked) it will be
necessary to know where she's coming from. Prejudice will not be easy
to deal with. A new teacher without tenure can be fired. An insecure
teacher can perhaps be helped.

So what I would do - I would approach the principal first of all on
the medication question. He ought to be able to make her let him out
of class to get it and also give Henry a blanket permission to walk
out of her class to get it if he needs to. If he is a good principal,
he will defend his teacher, but if he was a good principal this would
not be happening.

But even before that, I'd inquire about the possibility of a transfer
and see how he (the principal) feels about that.

If a transfer is not available, I'd ask him why this teacher is not
following policy about assignments website. If he doesn't appear
interested in enforcing the policy, then you need to get the roll and
the phone numbers of some other students in the class.

Or, as much as I hate to suggest it, just tell Henry not to worry
about science, and if he gets poor grades document your complaints
with the school and strongly suggest (especially if he gets good
grades elsewhere) that this teacher is incompetent, and that maybe the
school board should be informed. Have your complaints recorded and
put into his record, although the 'permanent record' business is WAY
over-rated as a threat.

As for that particular lost paper, I wasn't clear if it was an
assignment that he lost or just a study aid for a test or both. If it
is a study aid, it might help Henry to brainstorm what might


grandma Rosalie

In article ,
illecebra wrote:

Unless the teachers write all their own materials, putting
worksheets and such up on a web site is probably begging for textbook
companies to sue the school. Sad but true.

That's a good point. I was assuming they were generated by the
teachers, but that's probably not a fair assumption, at least not
all of the time. If the worksheets are coming from a text/wookbook,
though, perhaps Dawn can purchase a copy to have at home for her son.


--Robyn
..