Should I or should I not....(long)

"Shannon" wrote in message
news:2004052613570050073%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...
I have been TTC for a little while now and of course have been thinking
A LOT about pregnancy and child rearing. I feel very confused right
now and I'm thinking that many other women probably feel the way I do
so I thought I would post and see what people's opinions are.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have a baby. About 3
years ago I got married and we bought a condo. I was, and still am in
many people's minds, very young at the time as I was only 23. The
condo was great because it was pretty cheap and so we got to go out
whenever we wanted, buy whatever we wanted and travel whenever and
wherever we wanted. It was great. But still I wanted a familty.
Whenver the topic of children was brought up amongst friends or family
people would tell me I wasn't ready to have kids because I was having
too much time travelling here and there etc.

This past fall my husband and I bought a 3 bedroom house. Money is a
bit tighter but overall I think we are doing very well. Now people are
telling me that I should wait to have kids until we buy all the stuff
we want for the house.

I have a great career at the moment where I make decent money. It was
shear luck that I got this job and I am so thankful that I have this
opportunity. I am afraid that if I have a baby that I may not want to
keep the job. I feel like I am letting myself down somehow. Women are
'supposed' to have 'careers' and look after the kids are they not???

Why does it feel like everyone is saying not to have a baby right now?
The only person who actually said to go ahead and genuinely looked
happy was my doctor.

I feel like society went from expecting women to get married, stay home
and have children, to expecting them to become 30 something business
women who drop their kids off at an expensive day care for 12 hours a
day.

My husband and I sat down and determined that we have what we need to
have a child. Good jobs, a good home, some experience under our belt
with 3 years of marriage. My biggest fear is surrounding my job. Will
I want to stay home with the kids, resulting in losing my career? Will
I be forced back due to finances? Will I want to go back and
everything will be just fine? How do you know ahead of time in order
to make any sort of plans??

I know I"m kind of babbling, but does anyone out there know where I am
coming from?? Do you think that people might just be looking out for
me and I should listen to them? Or should I do what I really want to do?

I say just do what you really want to do. Don't listen to anyone else
unless
they say something that you like. You seem to be more stable than we are
and
I am currently 5 months pregnant. Good luck in your decisions.

Andrea
#1 due: 09/28/04

"Shannon" wrote in message
news:2004052617314816807%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...
One thing that I never mentioned is that I work from home. I actually
don't really like working from home because I feel really isolated but
a few people have pointed out that it is great that I work from home
because it would come in handy when I have kids. Personally I don't
really see it that way. I work full time (8:30 - 5:30) and I am busy
constantly. It is a pretty stressful job related to the medical system
and so it is hard to work around interruptions.

Is there anyone else out there who worked from home before they got
pregnant and then continued to work from home after?

Shannon

I have been wanting to get a job working from home. How would I go
about doing that?

Andrea
#1 due: 09/28/04

Shannon wrote in message
news:2004052617314816807%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...
One thing that I never mentioned is that I work from home. I actually
don't really like working from home because I feel really isolated but
a few people have pointed out that it is great that I work from home
because it would come in handy when I have kids. Personally I don't
really see it that way. I work full time (8:30 - 5:30) and I am busy
constantly. It is a pretty stressful job related to the medical system
and so it is hard to work around interruptions.

Are you a medical transcriptionist by any chance?
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Andrea J. Richardson wrote:

I have been wanting to get a job working from home. How would I go
about doing that?

Almost everyone I know who works from home started
out doing the same job for the same employer in the office
and then was able to make arrangements to work all or part
of the time from home. That's how most of my working from
home jobs started, though my current one started with me
working mostly from home (but I had a connection in the
company before I started). There are also some jobs that
are more easily done from home. I know graphic designers,
editors, researchers, IT folks, and academics who largely
work from home, but there are other jobs where I think
the pickings are slim.
What job skills do you have? How you go about
getting a job that allows you to work from home depends
a lot on what job market you're looking in.

Best wishes,
Ericka

From: Shannon

My husband and I sat down and determined that we have what we need to
have a child. Good jobs, a good home, some experience under our belt
with 3 years of marriage.

I think this is the answer to your question. If you and your husband feel
ready, then go for it. You're 26 years old? That's hardly too young- and
you'll be 27 or older by the time you have a baby. Perfect age IMO.

As for your career, will you really do that much more in the next few years
that you can't go back and do someday? And so what if you decide to stay home
with your kids- if you do decide that, it will be because it's the only thing
you want to do. If you don't, then you can continue to work out of the home and
be a mom, whether you do part time or full time.

Only you and your husband can decide, but it sounds to me like you're ready.
Don't let other people get in the way of something you've been wanting for a
long time! How could they possibly know if *you're* ready to have a child?

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 3 years
Christopher, 13 months

Shannon wrote:

Is there anyone else out there who worked from home before they got
pregnant and then continued to work from home after?

Yes. I work full time from a home office. I can't do my job with out child
care and have no idea how anyone else does. There are some nice benefits
(which I'm sure you are already experiencing) but they are magnified once
you have a baby and time is at such a premium. No commute, can unload your
dishwasher while you warm up your soup, etc ;-). I can move my office if I
want to and the only reason I seriously consider it at times is the
isolation factor. It *is* isolating and became even more so once I had
babies.


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

I work at home as a medical transcriptionist (that's why I asked because
your work sounded suspiciously like my job) and have for the last six years.
I didn't work at home when my babies were small and toddling around, but I
have been as they are older now and in school. Child care is going to be a
must for you even though you still work at home. I have done without child
care for the most part, but I did hire a mother's helper to come in, in the
summer to help out. Working at night, naps or early morning is probably what
you will adopt.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Shannon wrote in message
news:2004052617314816807%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...
One thing that I never mentioned is that I work from home. I actually
don't really like working from home because I feel really isolated but
a few people have pointed out that it is great that I work from home
because it would come in handy when I have kids. Personally I don't
really see it that way. I work full time (8:30 - 5:30) and I am busy
constantly. It is a pretty stressful job related to the medical system
and so it is hard to work around interruptions.

Is there anyone else out there who worked from home before they got
pregnant and then continued to work from home after?

Shannon

On 2004-05-26 13:57:00 -0400, Shannon said:

I have been TTC for a little while now and of course have been thinking
A LOT about pregnancy and child rearing. I feel very confused right
now and I'm thinking that many other women probably feel the way I do
so I thought I would post and see what people's opinions are.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have a baby. About 3
years ago I got married and we bought a condo. I was, and still am in
many people's minds, very young at the time as I was only 23. The
condo was great because it was pretty cheap and so we got to go out
whenever we wanted, buy whatever we wanted and travel whenever and
wherever we wanted. It was great. But still I wanted a familty.
Whenver the topic of children was brought up amongst friends or family
people would tell me I wasn't ready to have kids because I was having
too much time travelling here and there etc.

This past fall my husband and I bought a 3 bedroom house. Money is a
bit tighter but overall I think we are doing very well. Now people are
telling me that I should wait to have kids until we buy all the stuff
we want for the house.

I have a great career at the moment where I make decent money. It was
shear luck that I got this job and I am so thankful that I have this
opportunity. I am afraid that if I have a baby that I may not want to
keep the job. I feel like I am letting myself down somehow. Women are
'supposed' to have 'careers' and look after the kids are they not???

Why does it feel like everyone is saying not to have a baby right now?
The only person who actually said to go ahead and genuinely looked
happy was my doctor.

I feel like society went from expecting women to get married, stay home
and have children, to expecting them to become 30 something business
women who drop their kids off at an expensive day care for 12 hours a
day.

My husband and I sat down and determined that we have what we need to
have a child. Good jobs, a good home, some experience under our belt
with 3 years of marriage. My biggest fear is surrounding my job. Will
I want to stay home with the kids, resulting in losing my career? Will
I be forced back due to finances? Will I want to go back and
everything will be just fine? How do you know ahead of time in order
to make any sort of plans??

I know I"m kind of babbling, but does anyone out there know where I am
coming from?? Do you think that people might just be looking out for
me and I should listen to them? Or should I do what I really want to do?

Its strange. When I got married I just felt like everything was going
to work out and that I was doing the right thing. With having a baby,
I feel like there is so much more to consider. It is kind of scary
bringing another person into the world. I am in a constant state of
confusion...

Shannon


--
Shannon

Please remove -NO SPAM from email address to email me personally.

In my case they just told me when I went for the interview that I would
be working from home. It never occured to me to ask.

I know a lot of sales people from various industries work from home
(although I'm not in sales) but they also travel quite a bit..

If you do job where you are pretty independent and don't need to
collaborate with other team members on a daily basis then it is pretty
easy to work from home. You just need a laptop and a phone line. If
you already have a job then maybe you should just ask.

If your employer is not used to that sort of thing maybe you can
convince them to allow you to do it one or two days a week until you
can prove that it works well. Then maybe you can do it full time.

Shannon

On 2004-05-26 20:22:20 -0400, "Andrea J. Richardson"
said:

news:2004052617314816807%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...


--
Shannon

Please remove -NO SPAM from email address to email me personally.

Thank you everyone for your comments. I think they have all been
really nice and do make perfect sense to me. I appreciate your
thoughts.

Shannon

On 2004-05-26 13:57:00 -0400, Shannon said:

I have been TTC for a little while now and of course have been thinking
A LOT about pregnancy and child rearing. I feel very confused right
now and I'm thinking that many other women probably feel the way I do
so I thought I would post and see what people's opinions are.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have a baby. About 3
years ago I got married and we bought a condo. I was, and still am in
many people's minds, very young at the time as I was only 23. The
condo was great because it was pretty cheap and so we got to go out
whenever we wanted, buy whatever we wanted and travel whenever and
wherever we wanted. It was great. But still I wanted a familty.
Whenver the topic of children was brought up amongst friends or family
people would tell me I wasn't ready to have kids because I was having
too much time travelling here and there etc.

This past fall my husband and I bought a 3 bedroom house. Money is a
bit tighter but overall I think we are doing very well. Now people are
telling me that I should wait to have kids until we buy all the stuff
we want for the house.

I have a great career at the moment where I make decent money. It was
shear luck that I got this job and I am so thankful that I have this
opportunity. I am afraid that if I have a baby that I may not want to
keep the job. I feel like I am letting myself down somehow. Women are
'supposed' to have 'careers' and look after the kids are they not???

Why does it feel like everyone is saying not to have a baby right now?
The only person who actually said to go ahead and genuinely looked
happy was my doctor.

I feel like society went from expecting women to get married, stay home
and have children, to expecting them to become 30 something business
women who drop their kids off at an expensive day care for 12 hours a
day.

My husband and I sat down and determined that we have what we need to
have a child. Good jobs, a good home, some experience under our belt
with 3 years of marriage. My biggest fear is surrounding my job. Will
I want to stay home with the kids, resulting in losing my career? Will
I be forced back due to finances? Will I want to go back and
everything will be just fine? How do you know ahead of time in order
to make any sort of plans??

I know I"m kind of babbling, but does anyone out there know where I am
coming from?? Do you think that people might just be looking out for
me and I should listen to them? Or should I do what I really want to do?

Its strange. When I got married I just felt like everything was going
to work out and that I was doing the right thing. With having a baby,
I feel like there is so much more to consider. It is kind of scary
bringing another person into the world. I am in a constant state of
confusion...

Shannon


--
Shannon

Please remove -NO SPAM from email address to email me personally.

Hi Sue,

No I'm not a transcriptionsit, although I work with transcriptionists a
lot. I'm actually in IT.

Shannon

On 2004-05-27 07:45:25 -0400, "Sue" said:

I work at home as a medical transcriptionist (that's why I asked because
your work sounded suspiciously like my job) and have for the last six years.
I didn't work at home when my babies were small and toddling around, but I
have been as they are older now and in school. Child care is going to be a
must for you even though you still work at home. I have done without child
care for the most part, but I did hire a mother's helper to come in, in the
summer to help out. Working at night, naps or early morning is probably what
you will adopt.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Shannon wrote in message
news:2004052617314816807%shannonNOSPAM@sdf1net...
One thing that I never mentioned is that I work from home. I actually
don't really like working from home because I feel really isolated but
a few people have pointed out that it is great that I work from home
because it would come in handy when I have kids. Personally I don't
really see it that way. I work full time (8:30 - 5:30) and I am busy
constantly. It is a pretty stressful job related to the medical system
and so it is hard to work around interruptions.

Is there anyone else out there who worked from home before they got
pregnant and then continued to work from home after?

Shannon

On 2004-05-26 13:57:00 -0400, Shannon said:

I have been TTC for a little while now and of course have been thinking
A LOT about pregnancy and child rearing. I feel very confused right
now and I'm thinking that many other women probably feel the way I do
so I thought I would post and see what people's opinions are.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have a baby. About 3
years ago I got married and we bought a condo. I was, and still am in
many people's minds, very young at the time as I was only 23. The
condo was great because it was pretty cheap and so we got to go out
whenever we wanted, buy whatever we wanted and travel whenever and
wherever we wanted. It was great. But still I wanted a familty.
Whenver the topic of children was brought up amongst friends or family
people would tell me I wasn't ready to have kids because I was having
too much time travelling here and there etc.

This past fall my husband and I bought a 3 bedroom house. Money is a
bit tighter but overall I think we are doing very well. Now people are
telling me that I should wait to have kids until we buy all the stuff
we want for the house.

I have a great career at the moment where I make decent money. It was
shear luck that I got this job and I am so thankful that I have this
opportunity. I am afraid that if I have a baby that I may not want to
keep the job. I feel like I am letting myself down somehow. Women are
'supposed' to have 'careers' and look after the kids are they not???

Why does it feel like everyone is saying not to have a baby right now?
The only person who actually said to go ahead and genuinely looked
happy was my doctor.

I feel like society went from expecting women to get married, stay home
and have children, to expecting them to become 30 something business
women who drop their kids off at an expensive day care for 12 hours a
day.

My husband and I sat down and determined that we have what we need to
have a child. Good jobs, a good home, some experience under our belt
with 3 years of marriage. My biggest fear is surrounding my job. Will
I want to stay home with the kids, resulting in losing my career? Will
I be forced back due to finances? Will I want to go back and
everything will be just fine? How do you know ahead of time in order
to make any sort of plans??

I know I"m kind of babbling, but does anyone out there know where I am
coming from?? Do you think that people might just be looking out for
me and I should listen to them? Or should I do what I really want to do?

Its strange. When I got married I just felt like everything was going
to work out and that I was doing the right thing. With having a baby,
I feel like there is so much more to consider. It is kind of scary
bringing another person into the world. I am in a constant state of
confusion...

Shannon


--
Shannon

Please remove -NO SPAM from email address to email me personally.