Did you hate bf at first?

Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy

skrev:
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy


Get checked for a post partum depression.

It's awful to feel like you do. I feel with you. You have to handle the
bad feelings as well as the guilt. I hope you find a solution soon.

Tine, Denmark

I agree with the above reply about post-p depression. I have heard that
bfing robs you of serotonin. I just got on an anti-depressant myself
and it is already helping. The question my dr. asked me was Does your
anxiety seem to only be about bfing or does it seem like other stuff
also makes you anxious? At my six week check, I said it was just the
bfing, but two weeks later, I realized I was panicked about a lot of
other issues with the baby. This led me to beginning Zoloft.

I had sore cracked nipples, mastitis, and a yeast infection when DD was
2 weeks, so I can empathize with the dread you feel.

wrote:
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy

wrote in message
oups.com...
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy

Yeah, I have to admit I did. I had a bad time managing all her feeds, and
expressed a lot as I thought at the time it would be easier. I then made
the decision to cut out all EBM and formula, and although I found it
difficult, and it wasn't something I enjoyed at first, once DD was a few
weeks older, and I started noticing the cute things she did, I enjoyed it a
lot more. She's now 10 weeks and was cracking me up by trying to grin at me
while still latched on. I notice now that she *has* to have both hands on my
boob when she's feeding, and clings on to my arm with her feet... little
things like that make it seem so much better! I breastfeed on demand, which
I also found hard at first, but I'm doing a lot better at it now, and
because she's such a huge baby (in 6-9 month clothes already) I get a lot of
pleasure knowing that it's me that's making her so tall!

But like the other replies say, I think you should get checked for PND. It
could be a depression/resentment feeling that you've not yet realised, and
knowing that DD's going to start crying again for you soon is probably
making you feel worse. Try not worrying about all the other things you need
to do in the day, and when you're feeling low, just give her a cuddle and
notice all the little things about her so you can appreciate her better.

*hugs* I really hope you're feeling better about things soon

Lucy x

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

this is you 2nd, isn't it Mandy? I also felt like this at this stage with my
2nd, no idea why, she was a much easier baby to feed than my first, feeds
were short and spaced out, so it was hardly difficult, I just plain did not
like it. I didn't have postnatal depression, though I had had it with my
first, I'm not sure at what point I stopped feeling this way, but she's 15
months now and still feeding so it worked out fine! I wonder if some of it
was the shock of a child being totally dependent upon me, after 18 months
when I didn't have that (counting from when DS started solids) and wondering
how I was going to get through that whilst also caring for DS, but it never
really came out as concrete thoughts just generalised dislike of the act of
breastfeeding.

Anne

Thanks to everyone for the replies. I hadn't consider PND because my
negative feelings center around breastfeeding only. But it's
definately something to keep in mind. I've been hanging on by
supplementing with formula at night time. Getting a break from bf'ing
every night gives me the strength to bf again in the morning.

To answer Anne, yes, this is my second. I only bf DD1 for a week. I
had the same issues with the first but I also had a terrible pregnancy
and delivery. I was in terrible physical and mental shape and I gave
up bf'ing quickly. I'm hoping to hang on for longer with DD2 now that
I'm physically and mentally stronger.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Mandy (hanging on one day at a time ...)

wrote:
Thanks to everyone for the replies. I hadn't consider PND because my
negative feelings center around breastfeeding only. But it's
definately something to keep in mind. I've been hanging on by
supplementing with formula at night time. Getting a break from bf'ing
every night gives me the strength to bf again in the morning.

To answer Anne, yes, this is my second. I only bf DD1 for a week. I
had the same issues with the first but I also had a terrible pregnancy
and delivery. I was in terrible physical and mental shape and I gave
up bf'ing quickly. I'm hoping to hang on for longer with DD2 now that
I'm physically and mentally stronger.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Mandy (hanging on one day at a time ...)

That's the way to do it, Mandy . . . don't think about feeding her for
months and months, just promise yourself that you will do it for the
next day. Before long she won''t nurse quite as much and she will
develop more personality and you may well find you enjoy sharing that
time with her.

Leslie

wrote:
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy

Gosh, everything you have written has just sent me huge flashbacks and
even now I can feel my chest tighen with the recalled anxiety. I had
huge problems bf'ing for many weeks and as others have said, the way to
get through it is to set little goals. I don't think I had pnd but the
lack of sleep, problems bf'ing and moving house all took it's toll and
there were certainly some dark days. I can imagine with another to look
after another at the same time it must be difficult.

But hang in there. For me it was worth all the mental and physical
pain. Things eased after a few weeks and even nursing away from home
didn't seem so bad. Once ds stopped the nightfeeds and I was getting
more sleep I really turned a corner and enjoyed the emotional
experience of bf'ing. At nearly 14 mths we are are still on one morning
feed.

Having used this group for advice I know there are many women on here
who have struggled but are still feeding well after one or two years
and more!

Good luck with it all. One thought that kept me going was that
everylittle bit of bm is good for your baby, so however long you keep
going you have succeeded. And don't let others put pressure on you
either way - to bf or to ff - you have to do what you can cope with the
best. I felt awful the few times I gave ff in the early days, but it
was that or give up bf'ing completely, so I know I made the right
decision.

Big hugs

Jeni

wrote:
wrote:
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy

Gosh, everything you have written has just sent me huge flashbacks and
even now I can feel my chest tighen with the recalled anxiety. I had
huge problems bf'ing for many weeks and as others have said, the way to
get through it is to set little goals. I don't think I had pnd but the
lack of sleep, problems bf'ing and moving house all took it's toll and
there were certainly some dark days. I can imagine with another to look
after another at the same time it must be difficult.

Wow - now *I'm* reliving those horrible anxiety attacks around bfing in
the early days. There was one time when my mom was visiting and I went
to have a sleep while she watched the baby. She came in and woke me up,
saying, "you have to nurse the baby now, sweetie," and I remember
bursting out crying and saying, half-asleep, "no! YOU do it!!" And we
did resort to the odd bottle of formula, when I just couldn't stand the
idea of nursing anymore.

I think I got past it completely at around 10 weeks (it was waayy
better by about 5-6), and he nursed till 22 months. DS2 is still
nursing at 16 months (completely reverse-cycled, little monkey), and I
don't see the end in sight anytime soon. And that's a good thing!

Good luck - you've had lots of good advice here.

Melania

Hi... i hated bf for the first 3-4 weeks. it was the worst possible
feeling abt being a mom. but it comes with practice. i was scared that
i did not have enough milk and that she was not getting enough and that
she was not abel to latch on. but try and try and u will be a pro. now
sania is 6 months old..exclusively bf and she's a great sucker ! i got
the my breast friend nursing pillow and it worked wonders. earlier i
could not hold her correctly and so she had a hard time latching on but
with the pillow it was so much easier.
please do not give up. bf is the best thing about being a mom. its
someting ONLY u can do.. and now since i have resumed working, i
continue to pump at work and nurse in the evenings and mornings. its
the best thing that you could give ur baby !
all the best !


wrote:
Hello,

Is there anyone out there that hated breastfeeding at first? DD is 2
weeks old and I really hate breastfeeding. My anxiety starts to rise
about 1 hour before each feed because I know she's going to be hungry
soon. Every time she fusses the tears well up in my eyes because I
know what's coming. We're past the sore nipples phase so it's not the
physical pain that's bothering me. It's some type of emotional
reaction. Has anyone else experienced this and then went on to have a
healthy breastfeeding relationship?

Mandy