Potty Help Please (x-posted)

Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Here's where we stand:

He can "hold it" for hours. He can ask for a diaper when he wants to go. He
has never ever made anything in the potty. Only on a few occasions has he
sat his bare bottom on the potty and although he sat that way and watched a
whole video he didn't make. (45 min on the potty then held out for a
diaper.)

He will not pull down his pants or let me so he can sit on the potty - right
now he is sitting there fully dressed but i figured it's something!! I can't
bribe him -he's not that kind of kid. If he happens to be undressed and i
offer him a tape and say "why don't you sit on the potty and watch this" he
will - that's it.

I have put him in cloth training pants a few times, he is reluctant to put
then on and just waits and waits i guess. last time i eventually put him in
a diaper because we had to go out. Should i just keep him in training pants
or underpants till he has an accident so he can see what happens? i thin khe
mnight be upset by that. Because i would have to refuse to give him a diaper
for that to happen - and he is refusing to use the potty.

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

Any input and advice will help - i am not looking for an overnight success
i just don't know what i am doing and if i should stop!!
Thanks - JoAnna

If he doesn't seem interested yet, I'd wait til he's 3 to get the ball
rolling... so I'd wait a few months... Maybe even not mention it at all for
a few weeks.

My son just wasn't interested until a month or two after he turned 3... we
encouraged him as much as we could, but being even the slightest bit pushy
about it had the opposite intended effect. g One day he just started
going in the potty and never looked back- and this was when I stopped
mentioning it at all, LOL. ( we had some help from grandma LOL, she had
him overnight and gave him some extra encouragement, and when he came home
he was all about the potty)

I think what helped him was thinking it was his own choice, you know? so it
may be an "overnight success" if you let him choose when. In my mind it
seemed silly to struggle for several months with it, with the net result of
him being completely potty trained, rather than just waiting out the few
months until he felt ready, with the net result of him being completely
potty trained (in the same amt. of time). and less clean-up too! But- my
son can be really obstinate, this is all from my point of view- you know
your son best and what will work best!

Age 2 is (in my mind, anyway) "almost a baby" still. and, of course, boys
potty train later than girls.

I like Kat's suggestions to get him pumped up for it!
Good luck!
Bethany

"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Here's where we stand:

He can "hold it" for hours. He can ask for a diaper when he wants to go.
He
has never ever made anything in the potty. Only on a few occasions has he
sat his bare bottom on the potty and although he sat that way and watched
a
whole video he didn't make. (45 min on the potty then held out for a
diaper.)

He will not pull down his pants or let me so he can sit on the potty -
right
now he is sitting there fully dressed but i figured it's something!! I
can't
bribe him -he's not that kind of kid. If he happens to be undressed and i
offer him a tape and say "why don't you sit on the potty and watch this"
he
will - that's it.

I have put him in cloth training pants a few times, he is reluctant to put
then on and just waits and waits i guess. last time i eventually put him
in
a diaper because we had to go out. Should i just keep him in training
pants
or underpants till he has an accident so he can see what happens? i thin
khe
mnight be upset by that. Because i would have to refuse to give him a
diaper
for that to happen - and he is refusing to use the potty.

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

Any input and advice will help - i am not looking for an overnight
success
i just don't know what i am doing and if i should stop!!
Thanks - JoAnna

"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Here's where we stand:

He can "hold it" for hours. He can ask for a diaper when he wants to go.
He
has never ever made anything in the potty. Only on a few occasions has he
sat his bare bottom on the potty and although he sat that way and watched
a
whole video he didn't make. (45 min on the potty then held out for a
diaper.)

He will not pull down his pants or let me so he can sit on the potty -
right
now he is sitting there fully dressed but i figured it's something!! I
can't
bribe him -he's not that kind of kid. If he happens to be undressed and i
offer him a tape and say "why don't you sit on the potty and watch this"
he
will - that's it.

I have put him in cloth training pants a few times, he is reluctant to put
then on and just waits and waits i guess. last time i eventually put him
in
a diaper because we had to go out. Should i just keep him in training
pants
or underpants till he has an accident so he can see what happens? i thin
khe
mnight be upset by that. Because i would have to refuse to give him a
diaper
for that to happen - and he is refusing to use the potty.

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

Any input and advice will help - i am not looking for an overnight
success
i just don't know what i am doing and if i should stop!!
Thanks - JoAnna

I'm with Kat on this. My dd is 3 years 4 months and now she is past the
refusal stage and will go sometimes. If I pressure her she and she is
diaperless she will go anywhere but the potty or her chair. Sometimes she
chooses to wear her underwear (Nemo!) and she will make a perfect score both
going poop and pee in the potty. Little stinker wants the control and I
can't say I blame her. At her age this is her way of ruling the roost!

Anni

"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

DS is afraid of the toilet. He's okay around it, but he refuses to get on
it. I let him use a potty chair and he's fine with that. Why don't you try
that? I take a portable toilet with us in the car when we go out. It folds
up and is more sanitary than a public restroom. DS is not completely potty
trained. He won't be 3 until June. He does go when we put him on the potty
chair and he occasionally tells us he needs to go. I wouldn't worry just
yet. You might just try the potty chair, though.

"toypup" wrote in message
news:PoQUb.240281$na.397050@attbi_s04...

"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my
shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with
him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for
the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

DS is afraid of the toilet. He's okay around it, but he refuses to get on
it. I let him use a potty chair and he's fine with that. Why don't you
try
that? I take a portable toilet with us in the car when we go out. It
folds
up and is more sanitary than a public restroom. DS is not completely
potty
trained. He won't be 3 until June. He does go when we put him on the
potty
chair and he occasionally tells us he needs to go. I wouldn't worry just
yet. You might just try the potty chair, though.



I guess i wasn't clear on that...we have a seat for the toilet AND a potty
chair for him. he won't even entertain the idea of getting near the toilet.
the rest i said had to do with the potty chair.

Drop50 wrote:
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my
shoes can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with
him but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat
for the toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Luke will be three in April. He is the same way. He is physically ready.
He can do his own clothes, he stopped himself from peeing on the bed when we
were getting dressed the other day. He declares he loves his diapers and
doesn't want to use the potty. At this point I'm not doing anything at all
about it. I'm not up for the stress, lol. If he hasn't declared himself
ready by next fall I'll try to encourage him a bit. I want him to be able
to do some out of home activities and around here they all require them to
be trained.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Here's where we stand:

He can "hold it" for hours. He can ask for a diaper when he wants to go.
He
has never ever made anything in the potty. Only on a few occasions has he
sat his bare bottom on the potty and although he sat that way and watched
a
whole video he didn't make. (45 min on the potty then held out for a
diaper.)

He will not pull down his pants or let me so he can sit on the potty -
right
now he is sitting there fully dressed but i figured it's something!! I
can't
bribe him -he's not that kind of kid. If he happens to be undressed and i
offer him a tape and say "why don't you sit on the potty and watch this"
he
will - that's it.

I have put him in cloth training pants a few times, he is reluctant to put
then on and just waits and waits i guess. last time i eventually put him
in
a diaper because we had to go out. Should i just keep him in training
pants
or underpants till he has an accident so he can see what happens? i thin
khe
mnight be upset by that. Because i would have to refuse to give him a
diaper
for that to happen - and he is refusing to use the potty.

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

Any input and advice will help - i am not looking for an overnight
success
i just don't know what i am doing and if i should stop!!
Thanks - JoAnna


Your son sounds physically ready, but it also sounds as though you've
created a control issue. My advice is to go back to diapers all day.
Matter-of-factly, with no emotion, tell him that boys who tinkle on the
potty can wear underpants. Then, wait! Yes, just wait, until he tells you
he wants to go on the potty. He clearly understands what it's for and what
not to do in his underpants, but you've become too emotionally invested in
it for him not to enjoy the power of his rebelliousness. You might ask,
maybe only 2 or 3 times a week, if he would like to go on the potty, but
seem completely unconcerned whether his answer is yes or no. If he says no,
say 'okay, maybe some other time.' If he says yes, be pleased, but not
overly joyous. If he actually goes on the potty, don't overly praise him
either. This has to be about him doing it for himself. You might even buy
him some very cool character underwear and let him know they're in his
drawer for when he's ready. Just as a matter of fact!

HTH,
-Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)

On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 16:25:21 GMT, "Drop50" wrote:

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

He's not even three yet. Boys tend to train later. My son
didn't potty train until he was almost 4, my daughter
trained at about 2.5

My advice is to put him back in diapers and leave it until the
summer. Then let him run around totally pantless so he can
see what is happening.

Also make sure he sees dad using the bathroom. He may
want to stand up to pee and you can put something he can
aim at in the potty for peeing (Someone suggested a
cheerio, I think).


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"toto" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 16:25:21 GMT, "Drop50" wrote:

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in
most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

He's not even three yet. Boys tend to train later. My son
didn't potty train until he was almost 4, my daughter
trained at about 2.5

he is going to school next sept. and they want them potty trained.


My advice is to put him back in diapers and leave it until the
summer. Then let him run around totally pantless so he can
see what is happening.


i will be trying that

Also make sure he sees dad using the bathroom. He may
want to stand up to pee and you can put something he can
aim at in the potty for peeing (Someone suggested a
cheerio, I think).

he has seen dad go baziillion times, he kows how it all works - i tried
having a step in the bathroom for him to try using the toilet standing but
he won't even let me undo his pants!!!!! (no - he won't do that himself...)

just a little fustrated .

i have put the potty awayt for now and will wait for a while.
grrrumble. (but thanks for the tips)




--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"PattyMomVA" wrote in message
...
"Drop50" wrote in message
. net...
Okay...I don't know what to do so i hope someone who has been in my
shoes
can help.

My DS is going to be 3 in May. I want to work on using the potty with
him
but he flat-out refuses to use the Big Potty (i have akiddy seat for
the
toilet) and is very reluctant to sit on his potty.

Here's where we stand:

He can "hold it" for hours. He can ask for a diaper when he wants to go.
He
has never ever made anything in the potty. Only on a few occasions has
he
sat his bare bottom on the potty and although he sat that way and
watched
a
whole video he didn't make. (45 min on the potty then held out for a
diaper.)

He will not pull down his pants or let me so he can sit on the potty -
right
now he is sitting there fully dressed but i figured it's something!! I
can't
bribe him -he's not that kind of kid. If he happens to be undressed and
i
offer him a tape and say "why don't you sit on the potty and watch this"
he
will - that's it.

I have put him in cloth training pants a few times, he is reluctant to
put
then on and just waits and waits i guess. last time i eventually put him
in
a diaper because we had to go out. Should i just keep him in training
pants
or underpants till he has an accident so he can see what happens? i thin
khe
mnight be upset by that. Because i would have to refuse to give him a
diaper
for that to happen - and he is refusing to use the potty.

Is he just not ready? I do not want to push him but he seems ready in
most
respects. he just seems to *love* his diapers! (maybe i'll switch him to
leaky cheap uncomfortable ones!!)

Any input and advice will help - i am not looking for an overnight
success
i just don't know what i am doing and if i should stop!!
Thanks - JoAnna


Your son sounds physically ready, but it also sounds as though you've
created a control issue. My advice is to go back to diapers all day.
Matter-of-factly, with no emotion, tell him that boys who tinkle on the
potty can wear underpants. Then, wait! Yes, just wait, until he tells
you
he wants to go on the potty. He clearly understands what it's for and
what
not to do in his underpants, but you've become too emotionally invested in
it for him not to enjoy the power of his rebelliousness. You might ask,
maybe only 2 or 3 times a week, if he would like to go on the potty, but
seem completely unconcerned whether his answer is yes or no. If he says
no,
say 'okay, maybe some other time.' If he says yes, be pleased, but not
overly joyous. If he actually goes on the potty, don't overly praise him
either. This has to be about him doing it for himself. You might even
buy
him some very cool character underwear and let him know they're in his
drawer for when he's ready. Just as a matter of fact!

HTH,
-Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)



thanks . he's got some snazzy thomas undies but he is totally against them.
i don't think he is into a power struggle - i think he is just scared to be
out of diapers for some reason - i dunno maybe not scared but he has made it
clear to me so far that the potty is not for him!!!!

oh well - i put the potty away for now. we'll see what happens next month.