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#11
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Sat, 10 Dec 2005 23:10:41 GMT, "Kim" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: HAHAHA try further north... Dang snow... a whooping 7 inches in less than 4 hours!!! took us 2 hours to shovel -- yes shovel out the driveway... I'm tired LOL the dog watched us like she was the queen of Sheba LOL whatching he loyal subjects shovel her way out since her little tummy was plowing through the snow... all she needed was that whip of christines LOL hook a plow behind that dog! Poor puppy with the frozen belly. LOL you aren't the first to say put a plow on her LOL she was so funny! lol |
#12
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
'Kate wrote: On 11 Dec 2005 13:29:01 -0800, "Bev" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: I haven't been sledding since I was a teen. I thought about that the other day when I loaded that google earth program. Wow. I could find all my old haunting grounds. I kept wondering if I would see my mom in the yard. Weird but nice to visit - like stopping time. What is google earth program? Youn need to get out sledding more! The house in Newark where I was born has been removed and there is a parking lot there now, I can remember the first time I drove down that street and found this out , I cried. We have those old silent black and white 8 mm movies that Dad took of us every Easter dressed in our fancy clthes walking up and down the side walk in the front yard there. LOL! I hated that Easter hat, looked like a five layer cake on top of my head ! As long as she stops doing whatever it was that she was doing. If time-out stops working (and it probably will), consider making some magnets for the refrigerator that she can earn for good behavior. Ease her into a reward system. Oh man, I think it is time to try something new. Just last night I am sitting in the kitchen w/ our family therapist who is also a behavioral specialist, we are drinking coffee talking about how great S has been doing and my grandaughter is sitting there with a coloring book and crayons I gave her. She has this habit of throwing something if it wont work for her , so of course the yellow crayon isn't working too well, so she throws it on the floor. So E (therapist) says to J please pick that up ..........J covers her face, I say you need to pick up your crayon or you have to go sit in time out......well she picks time out of course! after about 30 seconds she comes and picks up the crayon and hands it to me. I say thank you and she starts to play with the alphabet magnets on the fridge. E and I continue our conversation and a few minutes pass and all of a sudden J comes up to the table and takes the crayon off the table, places back on the floor where it had been thrown before and proceed to walk over to time out and sit down looks up at us and smiles..... I think I'm going to start a poker chip system and give the kids a poker chip for especially cooperative or considerate behavior. Then we can have a poker night and I'll pay out if they manage to win. LOL. As if. 'Kate I see so your gonna hustle them are ya? Why do I think M is 18 ? and would you still include him in something like this? Ya know I never thought to even continue something with S for cooperative and considerate behavior, but this is one of the problems that do still continue, she can be so uncooperative and inconsiderate and I do need to find a way to get a little more of that from her these days. I mean I did stipulate No job , no H.S diploma /no License or car privleges and it looks like after almost two months of working and going to school I may just have to pay up! Which I am about ready myself because the taxi driver is tired............o.k. yea and she is doing so well Bev |
#13
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
'Kate wrote: On Tue, 13 Dec 2005 03:05:30 GMT, "Kim" the I like torturing the dog by giving him a big ol' wad of peanut butter. Pets are cool. I like torturing the cats by putting scotch tape on the bottoms of thier paws! Hysterical! yea, pets are cool ....... |
#14
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
'Kate wrote: On 14 Dec 2005 01:59:51 -0800, "Bev" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: On 11 Dec 2005 13:29:01 -0800, "Bev" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: What is google earth program? It's available through the google.com site: http://www.google.com/downloads/ click "download now" for "Google Earth Beta" Thanks I think when I get a spare moment I'll check it out. Youn need to get out sledding more! I would but I'd have to build a hill and make my own snow. :-) LOL! well maybe a winter recess mini vacation to somewhere with snow will do your heart good!?!?!?! The house in Newark where I was born has been removed and there is a parking lot there now, I can remember the first time I drove down that street and found this out , I cried. That's an owie. It's hard enough going back to NYc and not seeing the inside of the family home the way that I remember. The area's gotten very trendy and it's much safer than it was in the 70's and 80's when we had a major drug problem during a time of immigrant movement into the area. Ya can't integrate a predominantly Irish neighborhood without a fight or two. The new kids had guns and knives. Sounds familiar Newark had its riots when I was younger , I was about 9 and can still remember the fear we had in our own home , Dad going to work with a gun , He was a fireman! The shotgun he left at the front door for my mother to protect us, We moved not long after that. We have those old silent black and white 8 mm movies that Dad took of us every Easter dressed in our fancy clthes walking up and down the side walk in the front yard there. LOL! I hated that Easter hat, looked like a five layer cake on top of my head ! Gotta have the easter parade video.. it's a family classic. LOL! but the hat was absolutely atrocious! So E (therapist) says to J please pick that up ..........J covers her face, I say you need to pick up your crayon or you have to go sit in time out......well she picks time out of course! after about 30 seconds she comes and picks up the crayon and hands it to me. I say thank you and she starts to play with the alphabet magnets on the fridge. E and I continue our conversation and a few minutes pass and all of a sudden J comes up to the table and takes the crayon off the table, places back on the floor where it had been thrown before and proceed to walk over to time out and sit down looks up at us and smiles..... LOL! Oh write that down and keep it in her baby book! I would love her spirit. However, she's definitely using the time out as permission to do what she wants instead of to stop behavior... so yeah, it ain't workin'. To her credit, she manipulated the system at a very young age. I'd probably be tempted to have her tested for giftedness at the local school district to get her into early ed. classes. She is very much developing ahead of her age. Very smart , very manipulative, and we do need to get her into something to give her a focus for it. After the holidays I think I will discuss this with her mother and she can discuss it with her father and see what happens. I use to have a "dinner out with mom - your choice of restaurants". At times I've done "mom will clean your room" as a reward and "mom will do your chores for a week." I will miss the creativity of everyday parenting when they are all grown and gone. To be honest with you I am thinking you will be filling in that creative parenting with some creative counsiling in your new job! Ah, well..you're handling a difficult situation that will sometimes defy common sense. It sounds like she is. Most kids run into problems when they're teens. It's harder and harder to find ways to motivate them. And we expect trouble. Too many psychological studies on teens and behavioral problems that have really only been meant for the 10% with serious issues. And parents have read the stupid "tough love" studies that make them think that if they'd only been firm, they wouldn't have problems. HA. I don't believe that it is bad parenting that is at the root of how some kids turn out. I know there are people that want you to believe that but I have seen enough, have gone through enough and know enough that sometimes no matter how supportive you are , how attentive you try be, how involved you are, there are other reasons a child has problems. I know as a parent I myself have made mistakes, I'm not perfect, who can be? I still see in my now 18 year old social and emotional problems, but we continue to work on them. Rather than 99.9 percent of the time having problems , we are at a say 70-30 with the problems being the lower percentage. I see progress and I commend her , She is on no medication for two months now and her doc says as long as she is progressing that is a good thing. I myself just feel numb, what a ride this is! Bev 'Kate |
#15
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
'Kate wrote: On 15 Dec 2005 04:22:52 -0800, "Bev" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: Youn need to get out sledding more! I would but I'd have to build a hill and make my own snow. :-) LOL! well maybe a winter recess mini vacation to somewhere with snow will do your heart good!?!?!?! I thought about it but we have a wedding to plan and help pay for in September. My oldest is tying the knot. :-) Boy do I feel old... but I think he's a great guy who fits very nicely into our wacky family. Oh Wow! How exciting for you all....lets see if I'm 44 you must be......ewwww old! :-) J/K ! To be honest with you I am thinking you will be filling in that creative parenting with some creative counsiling in your new job! I dunno... we're so limited and some of my ideas are off the wall. I'm concerned about participating here in the way that I do. The field hasn't quite caught up to how to handle online activities. My position is that I'm not acting as anything other than a peer single parent and I'm obviously not asking for or accepting anything in return other than support of a similar nature. However, once I'm licensed, different rules apply to *everything* that I do because it will reflect on my license and could possibly take business away from someone else with a license... so I may not be able to be as useful. I absolutely understand what you are saying...just to make it clear I was meaning that after the kiddos are growd up, you will hopefully not feel the empty nest so much cause you will be working in the trenches....grin Ah, well..you're handling a difficult situation that will sometimes defy common sense. It sounds like she is. Most kids run into problems when they're teens. It's harder and harder to find ways to motivate them. And we expect trouble. Too many psychological studies on teens and behavioral problems that have really only been meant for the 10% with serious issues. And parents have read the stupid "tough love" studies that make them think that if they'd only been firm, they wouldn't have problems. HA. I don't believe that it is bad parenting that is at the root of how some kids turn out. I know there are people that want you to believe that but I have seen enough, have gone through enough and know enough that sometimes no matter how supportive you are , how attentive you try be, how involved you are, there are other reasons a child has problems. Nature/nurture... and we're not the only influence on the kids. There's a community that influences them... peers, extended family, the media, and schools included. How we're treated makes a difference in how we think about ourselves and our expectations for ourselves... our goals. I know as a parent I myself have made mistakes, I'm not perfect, who can be? No one can be a whole kids' environmental influence. But environment can mediate problems that a child has by nature. And repeated or continuous harmful situations like trauma can create a chemical imbalance in an otherwise healthy child. I still see in my now 18 year old social and emotional problems, but we continue to work on them. Rather than 99.9 percent of the time having problems , we are at a say 70-30 with the problems being the lower percentage. I see progress and I commend her , She is on no medication for two months now and her doc says as long as she is progressing that is a good thing. I myself just feel numb, what a ride this is! It is... because things happen that make absolutely no sense at all. I don't know why you're having to handle all of this. I know that you work hard to make things better and it must feel like you're sometimes slamming into a brick wall. I've been there, done that. I know that it had an effect on me and how I operate in the world and I have to work hard at not letting the past influence my present and it's hard to stop the pattern of behavior and thoughts that affect everyday life. I think I've got it... and then something happens that reveals another layer. I still sometimes have to stop and think about what really happened and whether or not my reactions were appropriate. I have to learn to "start" quicker, I think. Anyway... Things are better... good. :-) Well........ yea better, but that shoe just may be getting ready to drop.....got a call from one of her teachers today, he is concerned at how sad and self loathing she is. Now I know she does talk crap about herself, when she does it around me I refresh her memory on all the wonderful things she has been doing lately, and she stops with the pity party, it is like this, she says she is ugly...then I find over 100 pictures of herself she has taken with my digital camera and she posts many pics of herself in her "myspace" someone that does not like thier appearance does not do this. How do I treat these behaviors when I feel it is attention seeking and how the heck do I figure out why she does this behavior for attention when she is already the main recipient in this household that is being paid attention to? Especially now that her daughter is here a lot less now. She is so stuck on wanting her daughters father to take her back that when a decent guy comes along she only gets so close and scares em away. She wont accept that her daughters father moved on and has had a girlfriend for just about a year now. The judge ordered the two of them to get co-parenting counsiling, they are past the 30 days they had to get thier first appt. they dont talk , she says his girlfriend told him he can't talk to her ! LOL! what is this ......I guess thier daughter will teach them how, she is already telling on them ! Well I let enough off the top now I can get back to the cleaning ,re-aranging and holiday decorating........... its getting close now , and we are having a Birthday party on Sunday for the little one, she is not here with us on her big day :-( Bev 'Kate |
#16
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
"Bev" wrote in message oups.com... 'Kate wrote: On Tue, 13 Dec 2005 03:05:30 GMT, "Kim" the I like torturing the dog by giving him a big ol' wad of peanut butter. Pets are cool. I like torturing the cats by putting scotch tape on the bottoms of thier paws! Hysterical! yea, pets are cool ....... LMAO I can't wait to try that with the kids... I'm even going to videotape it. Christine |
#17
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gas prices & catch up. was night classes
CME wrote: "Bev" wrote in message oups.com... 'Kate wrote: On Tue, 13 Dec 2005 03:05:30 GMT, "Kim" the I like torturing the dog by giving him a big ol' wad of peanut butter. Pets are cool. I like torturing the cats by putting scotch tape on the bottoms of thier paws! Hysterical! yea, pets are cool ....... LMAO I can't wait to try that with the kids... I'm even going to videotape it. Christine Christine, LOL! It was my daughter and her friends when they were about 14 yrs. old that showed me the scotch tape kitty thing, I laughed so much , 'Kate's vision is right on, and if you have a spunky Cat , a Kangaroo comes to mind. The boys will love it. I'm not sure what the animal activists would have to say though looking around Don't see any , grin "here kitty kitty".......... It doesn't hurt tham at all! Bev |
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