Where the CS goes....

So I just started to pay CS (over $1000 per month). I am now beginning to see
where that money goes:

- about $500 to feed and provide necistites to the children (2)
- ex's lawyer fees to take me to court
- new mini-van
- new house
- trips
- other non-kid things

And surprisingly there is no money for the children's education plan, day
care, clothes, etc.

Great system (in Canada anyway)... sheesh.

I think, at a minimum, if the custodial parent is getting money from CS,
then she/he should have to file some sort of form, with receipts, showing
how that money was spent. Obviously most parents use most of the money for
the kids most of the time, but in the end, CS is just another revenue stream
from one person, to the other. I'm in a situation where we 'agreed' to 500
a month, but the California state guidelines were about 500 more. I put 100
away for college, 50 for a car, etc. Many things. Now, my ex got wise,
and went to the county and got an 'adjustment'. Now she is a good parent,
but, do I think the entire 1100 bucks I send to her is going to them? No.
Why? Because right after she got the extra money, what did she buy? A 2
door Honda Accord Coupe. And a new home.

There is NO accountability of what the custodial party spends the money on,
while there is a juggernaut system of checks (no pun intended) for the
non-custodial parent, to ensure compliance.


"Test" wrote in message
news
So I just started to pay CS (over $1000 per month). I am now beginning to
see
where that money goes:

- about $500 to feed and provide necistites to the children (2)
- ex's lawyer fees to take me to court
- new mini-van
- new house
- trips
- other non-kid things

And surprisingly there is no money for the children's education plan, day
care, clothes, etc.

Great system (in Canada anyway)... sheesh.

"Jon" wrote in message
...

I received my first $75.00 child support payment last month. After having
both my bio son and his mother's natural son from a previous marriage for
over two years. I spent mine on a dinner out with my wife. Think I
should
send the receipt?
==
My opinion and the opinion of some here is that accountibility for child
support expenditures
should be mandated for lifestyle support awards only as that is the only
place there is room for
misuse. I don't believe the 75.00 you receive constitutes a lifestyle award.
You and your wife deserved the dinner out.
Hope you had a great time :-). It sounds like those boys are in good hands.
==
==

"Jon" wrote in message
...

I received my first $75.00 child support payment last month. After having
both my bio son and his mother's natural son from a previous marriage for
over two years. I spent mine on a dinner out with my wife. Think I
should
send the receipt?


No - a postcard of you and your wife having dinner at the wonderful
restaurant. ;-)


Tracy
~~~~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/
"You can't solve problems with the same
type of thinking that created them."
Albert Einstein

*** spamguard in place! to email me: tracy at hornschuch dot net ***

Yeah, because you obviously didn't spend it on the child.


"Jon" wrote in message
...

I received my first $75.00 child support payment last month. After having
both my bio son and his mother's natural son from a previous marriage for
over two years. I spent mine on a dinner out with my wife. Think I
should
send the receipt?

I asked my ex if she had started a RESP (education savings plan in Canada).
She replied there was not enough money. Where is my CHILD support of $1000
going???

I like the accountability thing.

In article , "Simpledog"
wrote:
I think, at a minimum, if the custodial parent is getting money from CS,
then she/he should have to file some sort of form, with receipts, showing
how that money was spent. Obviously most parents use most of the money for
the kids most of the time, but in the end, CS is just another revenue stream
from one person, to the other. I'm in a situation where we 'agreed' to 500
a month, but the California state guidelines were about 500 more. I put 100
away for college, 50 for a car, etc. Many things. Now, my ex got wise,
and went to the county and got an 'adjustment'. Now she is a good parent,
but, do I think the entire 1100 bucks I send to her is going to them? No.
Why? Because right after she got the extra money, what did she buy? A 2
door Honda Accord Coupe. And a new home.

There is NO accountability of what the custodial party spends the money on,
while there is a juggernaut system of checks (no pun intended) for the
non-custodial parent, to ensure compliance.


"Test" wrote in message
news
So I just started to pay CS (over $1000 per month). I am now beginning to
see
where that money goes:

- about $500 to feed and provide necistites to the children (2)
- ex's lawyer fees to take me to court
- new mini-van
- new house
- trips
- other non-kid things

And surprisingly there is no money for the children's education plan, day
care, clothes, etc.

Great system (in Canada anyway)... sheesh.

"Zimm" wrote in message
...
That sounds real good but it would be so complicated. What about things
like electricity? Surely the kid would use some (teenagers use ALOT).
How would you figure out how much that is? Would you itemize every
grocery bill, gas mileage for going to/from little league?

I know it's hard but try to look at it this way, if she spent some of
the money to buy a new home, your child is in a nice, cozy house. If
she spent it on a new car, the kid is riding in a safe vehicle.

Yes, I know. I've made looking a the bright side a rare form of art!


I feel the real issue isn't knowing exactly where the money went, but the
idea of having a say on how much is spent. I'm sure many wouldn't feel they
need to see receipts if they were paying what they believe is reasonable
child support. In other words, if he was paying the original agreed amount
of $500/month he may feel there is no need for accountability because he had
a say in the amount. To him $500/month is fair, and it will be used to
support his kids. But when the state jumped in and said $1,000/month - then
things took a turn for the worse. He couldn't see justification in
$1,000/month. You can expect the custodial parent to jump through hoops
"proving" where the money went, but will that really solve the real issue?
What is the real issue? Would he really feel better handing over
$1,000/month in child support if she could show where that money is going?
Or would he really feel better handing over $$$ in child support if he had a
*say* in how much and possibly where it was going? I would much rather see
direct involvement on the part of the NCP. In other words, an agreement
that they'll pay for certain items directly.


Tracy
~~~~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/
"You can't solve problems with the same
type of thinking that created them."
Albert Einstein

*** spamguard in place! to email me: tracy at hornschuch dot net ***

Simpledog wrote:
: I think, at a minimum, if the custodial parent is getting money from CS,
: then she/he should have to file some sort of form, with receipts, showing
: how that money was spent. Obviously most parents use most of the money for

I'd favor a checking account with both parties having visibility of where
the money is going. However, with today's "standard of living" child support,
it's a given that the mother's standard of living will increase as a result
of receiving CS in order for the child to realize the same standard of living
that would have been had should both parents live under the same roof.

As others have mentioned, the father's "new" standard of living decreases
but the court doesn't care.

I suspect we'd never see this because the courts don't want to be inundated
with allegations of improper usage of CS money. For the same reasons,
they opted for no fault divorce. They just don't want to become involved
at the detail leve in the CS money management.

b.

No, you shouldn't. As I said, most of the money goes, most of the time, to
the children, in most of the cases. Your situation, if true, isn't exactly
what my point is based on. If a man makes 4000 a month take home, and sends
1500 of that a month to his ex wife who makes roughly 3000 a month take
home, do you really think that 1500 bucks is going to raise those kids?
There is a HUGE infrastructure to ensure men and/or women NCPs are compliant
in paying, but there is absolutely NO mechanism in place (unless the
children are wildly neglected) to make sure that money is in effect, being
used to raise the kids. That's my point. Why are receipts so out of the
question? What other system could be better? In my situation, my kids had
nice clothes, went to Sea World, had fun, got good grades, spent time with
each parent, etc. Then, about 3 years after the divorce, WHAM-O, court
summons for 'Modification of CS'. So, I get my CS doubled. Is my ex
putting money away for college? No. Is my ex putting money away for my
girls first car? No. She went out, upgraded her house, and bought a new
car. Does she mistreat them? No. Does she love them? Yes. My kids
needed nothing extra, that money, pure and simple, is paying off her new
home and her new car. I mean, she bought a 2 door sports coupe. Sheesh.




"Tracy" wrote in message
news:JtMRa.86923$H17.28167@sccrnsc02...
yeah... just like it is highly unlike he spent anything over $75 on two
children during the 2+ years he had custody...

do you honestly believe he should hand over a receipt after being the only
support of those children for more than two years? If so, he doesn't
*have
to* hand over *that* receipt. The grocery bill should satisfy the $75
easily. *snicker*


Tracy
~~~~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/
"You can't solve problems with the same
type of thinking that created them."
Albert Einstein

*** spamguard in place! to email me: tracy at hornschuch dot net ***


"Simpledog" wrote in message
...
Yeah, because you obviously didn't spend it on the child.


"Jon" wrote in message
...

I received my first $75.00 child support payment last month. After
having
both my bio son and his mother's natural son from a previous marriage
for
over two years. I spent mine on a dinner out with my wife. Think I
should
send the receipt?

I totally agree. In my situation, I know all of that money isn't being used
for the kids. And you have hit it on the head, I showed the judge the
college money I was putting away, I showed the judge receipts for all the
things I bought for them (computers, clothes) etc. I was paying way past
the guidelines, because I am involved, and I care. I asked the judge to ask
her where are the equivalents on her side. Of course, the point was moot,
as Family Law judges just want to clear their case load that day. So, it
mattered not. Dissomaster was run, and I was ordered to pay the 'guideline'
amount. Did my ex 'counsel' my daughters that Mom is paying for all the
extra's now? Nooo.......but dad, who didn't really have the extra 600 bucks
laying around like old socks to spend, has to break it to the girls that
he's not able to do those things anymore.


"Tracy" wrote in message
news:FGURa.92094$H17.28568@sccrnsc02...
"Zimm" wrote in message
...
That sounds real good but it would be so complicated. What about things
like electricity? Surely the kid would use some (teenagers use ALOT).
How would you figure out how much that is? Would you itemize every
grocery bill, gas mileage for going to/from little league?

I know it's hard but try to look at it this way, if she spent some of
the money to buy a new home, your child is in a nice, cozy house. If
she spent it on a new car, the kid is riding in a safe vehicle.

Yes, I know. I've made looking a the bright side a rare form of art!


I feel the real issue isn't knowing exactly where the money went, but the
idea of having a say on how much is spent. I'm sure many wouldn't feel
they
need to see receipts if they were paying what they believe is reasonable
child support. In other words, if he was paying the original agreed
amount
of $500/month he may feel there is no need for accountability because he
had
a say in the amount. To him $500/month is fair, and it will be used to
support his kids. But when the state jumped in and said $1,000/month -
then
things took a turn for the worse. He couldn't see justification in
$1,000/month. You can expect the custodial parent to jump through hoops
"proving" where the money went, but will that really solve the real issue?
What is the real issue? Would he really feel better handing over
$1,000/month in child support if she could show where that money is going?
Or would he really feel better handing over $$$ in child support if he had
a
*say* in how much and possibly where it was going? I would much rather
see
direct involvement on the part of the NCP. In other words, an agreement
that they'll pay for certain items directly.


Tracy
~~~~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/
"You can't solve problems with the same
type of thinking that created them."
Albert Einstein

*** spamguard in place! to email me: tracy at hornschuch dot net ***