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Asked to leave a public pool



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 8th 06, 04:12 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
[email protected]
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Posts: 1
Default Asked to leave a public pool

My name is Michelle and I have 3 kids. I breastfed each one and have
never encountered a situation like the one a few days ago.

Please read the story posted here.
(http://www.haysfreepress.com/article...news/news2.txt
). This is what happened to me when I was breastfeeding my one year
old daughter at a PUBLIC pool.

What the story fails to mention is the very modest swimsuit I was
wearing at the pool. (see link
http://www.landsend.com/cd/fp/prod/0...12492693158910
). There was nothing to see but a mother holding her baby in her arms.

To date I have yet to receive an apology from the pool manager, parks
manager or the city manager. They have not even acknowledged that they
were wrong. In fact they keep changing the reason I was asked to stop
feeding my daughter. First they asked me if I would stop feeding her
when I refused and cited the law they said I needed to go to the
BATHROOM and feed her there. I refused again since my 3 year old
daughter was in a swimming lesson and my 5 year was playing in the pool
(he was wearing a life vest). I told them I was not going to leave
since I needed to watch my son. The pool manager then informed me
"that is why they have lifeguards". Later they changed the story and
said they did not allow food near the pool. After that, changing the
story again, they told me it was a safety issue since I was a
distraction to the lifeguards and they would be unable to do their job.
The current reason still a "saftey issue", but now they say I needed
to be within arms reach of my son. (Keep in mind earlier they told me
to feed her in the bathroom since lifeguards were watching the pool
(Pool Manager)).

There is a link off the main page for a survey about breastfeeding in
public. Please respond to the survey (it's only one question).
http://www.haysfreepress.com/ There is also a link to the letter to
the editor if you feel so inclined.

-Michelle

  #2  
Old July 8th 06, 09:23 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
[email protected]
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Posts: 32
Default Asked to leave a public pool


wrote:
My name is Michelle and I have 3 kids. I breastfed each one and have
never encountered a situation like the one a few days ago.


Loved this bit...
"Hickey might have been distracting lifeguards and swimmers.

"Nobody asked anybody to leave," Urbanowicz said. "All it was was a
safety issue. When you see something like that, it draws people's
attention from the pool. You kind of take a double take, triple take,
then you sink to the bottom of the pool."

Um, right. People just keel over and drown from seeing a woman
breastfeed. Right. I guess that's a good thing, thins the gene pool and
all that.

I'd heard something about this... and it made me more self conscious
about nursing my baby at our public pool while her sister had swim
lessons... even though I've never had a problem here. Then I wrote this
for a thread at
www.thebabywearer.com in which a mama described being
asked to nurse her baby in the restroom at a restaurant.

I think it's time to start a "just say no" campaign... if someone asks
you to move, just say, "No."

If they say, "We need you to go to X location to nurse your baby"

Just say "No."

If they threaten you in any way, raise your eyebrows, stay calm, pick
up your cell phone, and call a lawyer, LLLI, and/or the news media. If
you are in a state with pro-breastfeeding legislation, consider calling
the police and very calmly say, "I'm being asked to stop breastfeeding
in a location I'm legally allowed to be in, and was wondering what
steps I can take to make them stop harassing me so that I can feed my
baby in peace? I'm feeling threatened by them." If you are in any sort
of franchise business, you can ask them quietly for the phone number
for their corporate offices, then call the number and say, "Your
franchise here says that I have to feed my baby in the restroom. My
next call is to CNN." Then see what happens.

Don't engage. Don't argue. There's nothing to argue about. You have a
right to do what you're doing, where you're doing it, and it's *their*
problem, not yours. Do not apologize for showing skin (some of us can't
help it). Do not defend yourself by saying, "I'm being modest" or "No
one else minds." You have nothing to defend yourself about. They...
they are being crude. They are being indecent. They are being
inappropriate and more importantly, in a majority of locations, THEY
ARE BREAKING THE LAW. THEY... do NOT have the right to ask you to move.

I have *so* had it up to here with women being asked to stop nursing
their babies. You know what? My baby *has* to eat. I *have* to be with
a senile mother in law, a 13 year old, a husband and the rest of my
family out in public at various times for various purposes. My baby
*needs* breastmilk and will continue to need it for quite some time.
Just because she "can" eat solids doesn't mean that they're the best
thing for her at all times. Just because I wear nursing clothes doesn't
mean that they cover up the breast effectively with a grabby nursing
toddler playing "It's light, it's dark, it's light, it's dark" while
randomly pulling off the boob. But she's 18 pounds at 15 months old
with a strange metabolism that gains 2 ounces on food that would put a
pound on a more typically developing kid, and if she's hungry, by
golly, I'm feeding her whenever, wherever, and however I can. If I'm
juggling a dog, a baby, her grandmother and a teenager, I'm *not* going
off somewhere private to nurse, period. Yep, I've got big boobs. Yep,
you can see 'em when I nurse. Either enjoy it or get over it, but
they're not going away and neither am I.

Interestingly enough, I have been approached and asked to nurse
elsewhere exactly *once* in over 7 years of breastfeeding, including a
good 3-4 years of NIP. Which is almost, almost a darn shame...lol!

The thing that gets me... is that it hurts *all* nursing mothers when
someone is asked to move. Because of a recent incident I heard about, I
was actually self-consious when nursing my daughter at the side of a
pool. No one said boo to me about it. I got a look or two, maybe, but
they could have been just random looks. But because another mother was
recently told she could not feed her baby by a pool, I didn't feel as
safe as I should have... I am in one of the most supportive communities
for breastfeeding in the US. I am legally protected to nurse anywhere
I'm allowed to be. We have the highest rate of initiating
breastfeeding, breastfeeding at 6 months and extended breastfeeding in
the nation last I looked... and still, because one mama was asked to
leave, I felt less comfortable. What hurts one of us hurts us all, and
I'm *tired* of it.

Jenrose

  #3  
Old July 9th 06, 12:15 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
CY
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 72
Default Asked to leave a public pool


wrote in message "

and still, because one mama was asked to
leave, I felt less comfortable. What hurts one of us hurts us all, and
I'm *tired* of it."

Jenrose


Here, here. What SHE said!


  #4  
Old July 9th 06, 12:16 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
CY
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 72
Default Asked to leave a public pool

Grrr, this KEEPS happening. I just posted recently about it (The thread was
Opinions Please, re NIP (long)) and I have yet to do anything about it...but
I will
wrote in message
ups.com...
My name is Michelle and I have 3 kids. I breastfed each one and have
never encountered a situation like the one a few days ago.

Please read the story posted here.
(http://www.haysfreepress.com/article...news/news2.txt
). This is what happened to me when I was breastfeeding my one year
old daughter at a PUBLIC pool.

What the story fails to mention is the very modest swimsuit I was
wearing at the pool. (see link
http://www.landsend.com/cd/fp/prod/0...12492693158910
). There was nothing to see but a mother holding her baby in her arms.

To date I have yet to receive an apology from the pool manager, parks
manager or the city manager. They have not even acknowledged that they
were wrong. In fact they keep changing the reason I was asked to stop
feeding my daughter. First they asked me if I would stop feeding her
when I refused and cited the law they said I needed to go to the
BATHROOM and feed her there. I refused again since my 3 year old
daughter was in a swimming lesson and my 5 year was playing in the pool
(he was wearing a life vest). I told them I was not going to leave
since I needed to watch my son. The pool manager then informed me
"that is why they have lifeguards". Later they changed the story and
said they did not allow food near the pool. After that, changing the
story again, they told me it was a safety issue since I was a
distraction to the lifeguards and they would be unable to do their job.
The current reason still a "saftey issue", but now they say I needed
to be within arms reach of my son. (Keep in mind earlier they told me
to feed her in the bathroom since lifeguards were watching the pool
(Pool Manager)).

There is a link off the main page for a survey about breastfeeding in
public. Please respond to the survey (it's only one question).
http://www.haysfreepress.com/ There is also a link to the letter to
the editor if you feel so inclined.

-Michelle



  #5  
Old July 9th 06, 12:40 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
A & L Lane
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11
Default Asked to leave a public pool


wrote in message
oups.com...

snipped..
I think it's time to start a "just say no" campaign... if someone asks
you to move, just say, "No."

If they say, "We need you to go to X location to nurse your baby"

Just say "No."

snipped..

Jenrose


I havent posted in a long while but still lurk every now and again but I
think this is the best piece of advice ever. Our natural reaction is to
explain and convince but maybe just refusing without entering into any
argument at all is the way to go. I really like this approach - I'll never
need it as my bf days are over (and luckily was never ever hassled about
NIP) but will definitely be recommending it to others in this situation.

cheers
Leah


  #8  
Old July 9th 06, 02:27 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Sarah Vaughan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 443
Default Asked to leave a public pool

A & L Lane wrote:
wrote in message
oups.com...
snipped..
I think it's time to start a "just say no" campaign... if someone asks
you to move, just say, "No."

If they say, "We need you to go to X location to nurse your baby"

Just say "No."

snipped..

Jenrose


I havent posted in a long while but still lurk every now and again but I
think this is the best piece of advice ever. Our natural reaction is to
explain and convince but maybe just refusing without entering into any
argument at all is the way to go. I really like this approach - I'll never
need it as my bf days are over (and luckily was never ever hassled about
NIP) but will definitely be recommending it to others in this situation.


I agree that trying to explain can be a bad thing. In a subtle way, it
gives people the message that you think you're doing something that
needs explaining, and that gives the opposite message of the one you
intend. I like Jenrose's approach for this reason (although I think
that, as with everything else, it's important to do it politely and not
belligerently).

Another approach that I think is well worth considering is to turn it
around, and, instead of acting as though you thought you needed to
explain, act as though _they_ need to explain. IOW, just try asking
them "Why?" in tones of genuine puzzlement. Probably more useful for
the "When are you going to stop nursing that child?" question, but worth
considering for this sort of situation.


All the best,

Sarah

--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell
  #9  
Old July 9th 06, 07:32 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Anne Rogers
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,497
Default Asked to leave a public pool


"Nobody asked anybody to leave," Urbanowicz said. "All it was was a
safety issue. When you see something like that, it draws people's
attention from the pool. You kind of take a double take, triple take,
then you sink to the bottom of the pool."


you know what I do a double take if I see someone bottlefeeding, I check to
see if it's formula in the bottle (it's never not been so far in my Uk
observations), then I look at the age of the baby, if they are very young I
get upset for them, if the person feeding them isn't inteacting with them I
feel sad, perhaps bottle feeding in public should be banned for MY
protection!

Anne


  #10  
Old July 9th 06, 07:38 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Anne Rogers
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,497
Default Asked to leave a public pool

Hear hear! I was hassled once on an airplane but was too much of a
newbie to respond well, although I did just go about my business once
the flight attendent walked away. USAir's corporate offices could have
cared less when I complained formally.


what did she expect you to do? definitely worth asking in that situation,
she could not have asked you to go to the bathroom in this circumstance,
with the limited number an air hostess is not going to want to make things
more difficult for her (queues in the aisles), it's also plain impossible
given the size of airplane loos. So resumably she expects you to feed the
baby something else, which of course you wouldn't have, so you could ask, do
you carry bottles? Often in circumstances like this it can be that the
airhostess (or waitress or whatever employee) as been asked by another
customer and they themselves have no experience and just do what they are
told. This is rather different from the story above though, where it has
been reinforced by various people.

How can I find out the law in my state (TX) so I'm ready to quote it.
Ready any day now in fact....DS should be born anytime.....


ask in a separate thread here with a clear title and try google, if typing
TX or texas doesn't find it miss it out, there is bound to be a US
breastfeeding law summary page somewhere.

Anne


 




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