Working with a behavior child

Studies, doctors, theorpist, and many people say that a behavior is a
disability and children of all ages have this disability. Well My child
has a behavior , but I strongly disagree with these diagnosis. Children
have a tendency to do what they want when their left alone. Most lash
out because of self-esteem issues they deal with. Others have problems
listening to other superiors or people telling them what to do other
than immediately family or mom dad. I believe that continueous talking
to your child or children and giving them praise will encourage them to
become better in social life and in school.

I agree, some doctors are looking for a label.. kids who can't behave
must have oppositional defiance disorder.. kids who are tired must have
chronic fatigue syndome.. and those that run about alot must have
attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder!

On 19 Nov 2005 16:14:51 -0800, "lilma"
wrote:

Studies, doctors, theorpist, and many people say that a behavior is a
disability and children of all ages have this disability.

What behavior? I don't think anyone labels behavior as a disabilty.
However, an *inability* to do certain things or learn certain things
that typical children learn quickly and naturally is a disability.

Well My child has a behavior ,

What behavior does your child have? And how are you dealing
with the consequences of that behavior to your family, to your
child, to the classroom community and the larger community?

but I strongly disagree with these diagnosis.

What diagnosis? Some diagnoses can be wrong, but that
doesn't mean that some children don't have whatever the
condition that is diagnosed is.

Children have a tendency to do what they want when their
left alone.

?????? I don't understand that sentence. Adults tend to do
what they want when they are left alone too.

Most lash out because of self-esteem issues they deal with.

Not everything has to do with self-esteem, though children
can have a problem with this depending on how they perceive
themselves and that often depends on how their parents and
peers treat them. Children with disabilities are sometimes
treated badly *because* of their disability and this can lead
to self-esteem problems too.

Others have problems listening to other superiors or people
telling them what to do other than immediately family or mom
dad.

You believe that children who have problems with listening
or with authority figures don't need to be dealt with in some
way, especially by teachers and schools?

I believe that continueous talking to your child or children
and giving them praise will encourage them to become
better in social life and in school.

Continuous talking without any action on the parent's part is
often a cause of *parent-deafness.* Depending on the
age of the child, reasoning is good, but it should not be
long-winded and it should be followed up by actions that
help the child learn to be self-disciplined. You won't do your
child any favors by lecturing about behavior without acting
to stem the consequences. Praise is also good, but it needs
to be specific to the good actions performed to be encouraging.
Saying *good boy* or *good girl* is often unhelpful.

I suggest that anyone who is working and talking with children
read *How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids
Will Talk* by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Remember
that listening to your children often helps a lot more than
talking at them.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

What kind of "behaviour" are we talking about here??

M

"lilma" wrote in message
oups.com...
Studies, doctors, theorpist, and many people say that a behavior is a
disability and children of all ages have this disability. Well My child
has a behavior , but I strongly disagree with these diagnosis. Children
have a tendency to do what they want when their left alone. Most lash
out because of self-esteem issues they deal with. Others have problems
listening to other superiors or people telling them what to do other
than immediately family or mom dad. I believe that continueous talking
to your child or children and giving them praise will encourage them to
become better in social life and in school.


So what's the behavior?

"lilma" wrote in message
oups.com...
Studies, doctors, theorpist, and many people say that a behavior is a
disability and children of all ages have this disability. Well My child
has a behavior , but I strongly disagree with these diagnosis. Children
have a tendency to do what they want when their left alone. Most lash
out because of self-esteem issues they deal with. Others have problems
listening to other superiors or people telling them what to do other
than immediately family or mom dad. I believe that continueous talking
to your child or children and giving them praise will encourage them to
become better in social life and in school.


Go get a copy of "Getting it Right With Children" by Madilyn Swift.
www.childright.com

I don't know what behavior we are talking about, you post is pretty vague.
But praise by itself has the capacity to be a damaging thing. Esteem comes
from knowing you are a valuable person, buttressed by achievement and
feeling competent. Praise is external. Self esteem is internal.