Should I be a Godparent

I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in organized
religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of churches.
I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.

JonathanD wrote:
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in organized
religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of churches.
I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.

I think you need to talk to your friend and find out
what she expects out of the godparent role. Different people
have different expectations. Also ask her what her church
expects out of the role. Some churches don't really even have
particular requirements of godparents/sponsors, but in others
you will promise to fulfill specific obligations. If you can
make good on whatever promises you'll have to make to the
church, and if you can meet your friend's expectations, then
there's no problem accepting the rule. If you have heartburn
with either, you can politely decline.

Best wishes,
Ericka

JonathanD wrote:
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in organized
religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of churches.
I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.

Either way, it's not a big deal. Obviously, the parents know you're not
a church goer. And neither are they. I would do it.

On the other hand, if you say, "I am sorry, although I am deeply
honored, I don't feel comfortable doing this because of my beliefs
about churches." They should understand.

Personally, I would go for it. But either way, if it ruins your
friendship, well, you don't have that much to ruin.

Jeff

"JonathanD" u34438@uwe wrote in message news:7294ac2f762fd@uwe...
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs
Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

If you have any reservations at all, you should decline.

On May 22, 8:23?pm, "JonathanD" u34438@uwe wrote:
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in organized
religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of churches.
I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.

Different religions have differing expectations of Godparents, as do
the parents. I know some people who thought that the Godparents of my
children automatically equated to us choosing those people to be the
guardians of our children upon our death. I had to laugh because we
had chosen different people for different children, and we aren't
about to split them up should we pass away. lol. Some religions only
expect one of the Godparents to hold the same beliefs as the church,
while the other differs. By BIL is married and his wife is the same
religion as us. He, however, does not believe in going to church. We
asked both of them to be godparents to our second child. Some believe
it is quite acceptable for one to believe in God despite not agreeing
with organized religion. Your friend may just completely trust you to
do your best when called upon, and it could just be as simple as that.

"JonathanD" u34438@uwe wrote in message news:7294ac2f762fd@uwe...
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs
Godfather,
but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in
organized
religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of
churches.
I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.

This is totally up to you and the parent(s) of the child.
If the mom (your friend) is fully aware that you are not active in the/a
church, and you are willing and wanting, then I don't see why you would not
accept.
I belong to a church, N does not. I know DS's godfather is not at all
active in any church, and IIRC, he is baptized himself, but baptized as
slightly different than DS is.
The church that I was once somewhat active at mainly as a child is where DS
was baptized. The church recommended that at least one godparent be of the
exact faith and active in the church, although if neither were, they (the
church) wasn't going to scream and shout over it, nor would they deny DS
being baptized. DS's godfather is not at all interested (definitely used
for lack of a better word) in the church, but his godmother is. I don't
mind it like this, nor does any part of my family or his godparents. The
chuch didn't mind either.
Just talk to your friend, and if she's alright with it, I see no problem.

"xkatx" wrote:

"JonathanD" u34438@uwe wrote in message news:7294ac2f762fd@uwe...
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years. We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs
Godfather, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in
organized religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the teachings of
churches.

As people have said, there is a great difference between the roles of
the godparents. When I was christened (Missouri Synod Lutheran), my
mom was really ticked that she couldn't go up to the alter with me
because she was not a MSL (and a Lutheran of another Synod wouldn't
have been acceptable either). I was carried by my aunt who WAS a
member of the church and was my godmother. And also my dad. I think
the Catholic churches also want godparents to be of the same religion
and much more is made of the godparent's role to be in-loco-parentis
--- BUT only if something happens to the parents, and ONLY for
bringing the child up in the chosen religion.

When my children and my non-Catholic grandchildren were baptized, the
godparents didn't go up to the alter with the child and weren't even
mentioned in the service. In that case, the godparent role is almost
purely a matter of friendship with the child with no real religious
obligation. Some people chose rich or influential godparents so that
the godparent can give the godchild presents or help as they become
adults. Some people pick family members, but I personally picked
people that I liked and that I wanted to keep in contact with and did
not pick family members because I would keep in contact with them
regardless.

I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.



This is totally up to you and the parent(s) of the child.
If the mom (your friend) is fully aware that you are not active in the/a
church, and you are willing and wanting, then I don't see why you would not
accept.
I belong to a church, N does not. I know DS's godfather is not at all
active in any church, and IIRC, he is baptized himself, but baptized as
slightly different than DS is.
The church that I was once somewhat active at mainly as a child is where DS
was baptized. The church recommended that at least one godparent be of the
exact faith and active in the church, although if neither were, they (the
church) wasn't going to scream and shout over it, nor would they deny DS
being baptized. DS's godfather is not at all interested (definitely used
for lack of a better word) in the church, but his godmother is. I don't
mind it like this, nor does any part of my family or his godparents. The
chuch didn't mind either.
Just talk to your friend, and if she's alright with it, I see no problem.

I agree.

I think that you should accept with the idea that this is an honor
that the parents want you to have, after you have asked them what role
they want you to play (what will your duties be?) and making sure that
it doesn't conflict with your beliefs.

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
"xkatx" wrote:

"JonathanD" u34438@uwe wrote in message news:7294ac2f762fd@uwe...
I have a very close friend that I have known for close to twenty years.
We
talk on the phone alot, however we don't see each other due to our
conflicting work scheduals. Now she asked me to be her new childs
Godfather, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. She belongs to a
church, even though
she doesn't really go that often. Me however, I do not believe in
organized religion. I believe in God but I don't agree with the
teachings of
churches.

As people have said, there is a great difference between the roles of
the godparents. When I was christened (Missouri Synod Lutheran), my
mom was really ticked that she couldn't go up to the alter with me
because she was not a MSL (and a Lutheran of another Synod wouldn't
have been acceptable either). I was carried by my aunt who WAS a
member of the church and was my godmother. And also my dad. I think
the Catholic churches also want godparents to be of the same religion
and much more is made of the godparent's role to be in-loco-parentis
--- BUT only if something happens to the parents, and ONLY for
bringing the child up in the chosen religion.

When my children and my non-Catholic grandchildren were baptized, the
godparents didn't go up to the alter with the child and weren't even
mentioned in the service. In that case, the godparent role is almost
purely a matter of friendship with the child with no real religious
obligation. Some people chose rich or influential godparents so that
the godparent can give the godchild presents or help as they become
adults. Some people pick family members, but I personally picked
people that I liked and that I wanted to keep in contact with and did
not pick family members because I would keep in contact with them
regardless.

We're Ukrainian Catholic. When DS was a baby, I had actually called around
to just Random Church (seeing as I wasn't really active in any church at the
time, and I wasn't sure how the church I had attended when I was school age
would react) and I was told that this said church would not baptize DS
because I was not married and not a member of this church (nor was any of
the godparents) I was quite put off about this, and it actually got me
really down.
So then I was talking to my best friend (since gr. 4, anyways) and she told
me to just call the church we both were part of, call and talk to the priest
I was familiar with but had lost contact with over the years. She told me
to just call and talk to him. He was far less judgemental, and he was fine
with doing it, and when *I* had asked about godparents, he said I wouldn't
be turned down over it, but they do like to have at least one godparent be
active in church and the faith. I had asked my oldest and closest cousin to
be DS's godfather. He will not have children of his own but loves them. He
is very close with DS and he definitely does treat and see DS (and the
girls, as well) like his own. He was more than honored to be the godfather.
I also asked my girl friend (the same one mentioned above) to be the
godmother, and she gladly accepted.
I know my cousin is the godparent that is more the one that just gets little
extras for DS. N and I have talked about it quite a bit, and we both are
fine with my cousin/DS's godfather taking DS out for the afternoon on
Father's Day every year. This is after we do our own little Father's Day
thing with us, as well as at my parents' house. My cuz then normally picks
DS up and takes him for the rest of the afternoon. DS and I send him happy
Father's Day cards for godfathers as well. My girl friend/DS's godmother,
OTOH, is the one that is more for faith (and spoiling, of course) Every gift
she gives is always fairly faith related. For his baptismal gift, he was
given a gold chain with a cross on it. She's given him a little statue
about godsons, cards are often fairly religious, and for me, this mixture
works very, very well. DS is in a (Ukrainian) catholic school, and with the
help of my friend, it seems, for us, to be a very nice balance, seeing as we
really aren't active in any church.
Every person and family are definitely very different. Both godparents were
mentioned during the baptismal ceremony thing, both are on DS's certificate.

I want to be the Godfather but I don't think I can help the child down
the
spiritual path that the parents take. Now my friend knows of my
religious
beliefs. I'm just confused on what I should do.



This is totally up to you and the parent(s) of the child.
If the mom (your friend) is fully aware that you are not active in the/a
church, and you are willing and wanting, then I don't see why you would
not
accept.
I belong to a church, N does not. I know DS's godfather is not at all
active in any church, and IIRC, he is baptized himself, but baptized as
slightly different than DS is.
The church that I was once somewhat active at mainly as a child is where
DS
was baptized. The church recommended that at least one godparent be of
the
exact faith and active in the church, although if neither were, they (the
church) wasn't going to scream and shout over it, nor would they deny DS
being baptized. DS's godfather is not at all interested (definitely used
for lack of a better word) in the church, but his godmother is. I don't
mind it like this, nor does any part of my family or his godparents. The
chuch didn't mind either.
Just talk to your friend, and if she's alright with it, I see no problem.

I agree.

I think that you should accept with the idea that this is an honor
that the parents want you to have, after you have asked them what role
they want you to play (what will your duties be?) and making sure that
it doesn't conflict with your beliefs.

Definitely. Again, a little bit of conversation about that as far as it
goes. It might be that she's already thought it over. If she is very aware
that you (the OP) is not very active or active at all, then you just might
find yourself being the godparent based on the honor and how highly your
friend thinks of you and that your friend would like you to be in her, and
her family's life.

?I think
the Catholic churches also want godparents to be of the same religion
and much more is made of the godparent's role to be in-loco-parentis
--- BUT only if something happens to the parents, and ONLY for
bringing the child up in the chosen religion.

I think that depends on the Catholic church one is a member of then,
because I am a Godparent to a Catholic child and I wasn't Catholic at
the time, but the other Godparent was. It was only required that one
Godparent be Catholic. As for my role, I am to help the child in
reference to her religion to the best of my ability but not
automatically responsible for raising the child should something
happen to the parents. I likened it to being chosen due to my
relationship with the mother and that if something should happen to
her, who better than I to also share fond memories and funny stories,
etc.

Chris wrote:
?I think
the Catholic churches also want godparents to be of the same religion
and much more is made of the godparent's role to be in-loco-parentis
--- BUT only if something happens to the parents, and ONLY for
bringing the child up in the chosen religion.

I think that depends on the Catholic church one is a member of then,
because I am a Godparent to a Catholic child and I wasn't Catholic at
the time, but the other Godparent was. It was only required that one
Godparent be Catholic. As for my role, I am to help the child in
reference to her religion to the best of my ability but not
automatically responsible for raising the child should something
happen to the parents. I likened it to being chosen due to my
relationship with the mother and that if something should happen to
her, who better than I to also share fond memories and funny stories,
etc.

You can do that without being a godparent.


Here is some info on godparents in the Roman Catholic church. I don't
know about other Christian church:

http://www.catholicdoors.com/courses/godpar.htm

http://www.americancatholic.org/News.../CU/ac0497.asp

The Presbyterian Church only requires that godparents be believers in
Christ. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/47/story_4738_1.html

Jeff