explaining special needs people to children

Just tell her the truth...w/o all the scientific facts behind it.....I doubt
she'll understand nor would you want to start explaining what a chromosome
is! LOL......and if in doubt, ASK....ask the child's mother how she would
like things explained

--
Gwen, Designer Wraps
SAHM to James (9-98) Austin and Amber (5-02)


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"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

pam wrote:
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

I would probably ask the mother of the child how best to explain things.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
edd #3 February 15, 2004
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

This might be a little late, but I wanted to comment since my daughter with
Down syndrome is also a twin like your daughter's classmate.

Chances are that your daughter will not notice anything about the way she
*looks* unless she has some other complicating factor that makes mobility an
issue. For my daughter, it's not. I know some kids with DS who have things
in their shoes to stabilize their ankles because of low muscle tone but even
that's not noticeable sometimes. Others have hearing aids or wear glasses.
My daughter has a gastrostomy tube that we use to supplement her eating (we
don't use it much anymore) and her older brother jokes that it's her 2nd
belly button (and he tells his friends she's an alien, too).

I would say that all children with Down syndrome have low muscle tone to
some degree. My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words (she still doesn't say Mommy, she's over 4yo).
But she does use sign language and this might be a valuable tool to teach
your daughter so that she can communicate with her new classmate. (There
are some great books that are written for kids that you can probably get at
the library) Claudia doesn't sign complete sentences or anything but she
can say what she wants or doesn't want in most cases, knows her shapes,
colors, and lots of animals. (Last week she told me that the grape Advil
was "yucky" and that she wanted chocolate flavored medicine.)

From a very broad perspective, you could explain that everyone has abilities
and disabilities (I'm organizationally disabled, for instance) and that her
new classmate may do things differently or more slowly but that she's more
like her than not when it comes to what matters to kids and playing around.
I'd say that the only offensive thing you might say that this other mom
would overhear would be something patronizingly stereotypical about
kids/people with Down syndrome such as "they really like music" or they're
"sweet and happy all the time." Yes, Claudia likes music but her brothers
do, too. And I can give MANY instances when she's not been too happy,
especially lately since she seems to have gotten an attitude implant.

Leigh in raLeigh
mom to Aaron (8yo, ADHD) and
twins Edward (4yo) and Claudia (4yo, T21)


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

With your daughter being preschool age, she will not be ready for an
in-depth explanation of DS. You would be surprised that giving her a simple
answer could very well answer her curiosity while giving her a technical one
would only confuse her. Something such as "She was made special, just like
you." could be enough to answer her question. I have also learned the few
years I was teaching in preschool, that some children constantly ask "Why"
just to get an adult to respond. They don't care about the answer. I don't
know your daughter, she may very well be interested in the answers to her
question, but most children around her age don't have the brain development
at that point to process most "real" answers.

Gayle


"pam " wrote in message
...
the girls will be starting preschool in the fall with a girl who has
Down syndrome. the preschool kids/moms meet every Wednesday at a
different park around town during the summer. one mom has twins, one
with Down syndrome. how do i explain when the girls, probably Alix,
asks "what is wrong with her?" i would like to start out saying,
"nothing is wrong with her..." and then explain from there. i don't
want to say anything that will offend the mom, although i can't be
sure what she will find offensive.

Alix asks questions ALL day. if we are watching a movie, she'll start
in when the first character hits the screen, "what's wrong with him?
what happened? why is he doing that?...." the other night before bed
she asked Kelly where her and Callie came from! i gotta get some more
parenting books. quick!

hope this makes sense. i've got one eye on the computer and the other
eye and both ears on the girls who are reminding me of seagulls right
now! gotta go.

pam sahm to alix and callie 3/24/00

Leigh ) wrote:

My daughter is extremely active and strong but she has
extremely low muscle tone in her mouth which makes it very difficult for her
to form the sounds in words

I think it is REALLY REALLY important to educate kids that this is the reason
that many people with Down syndrome don't speak clearly. No one ever told me
that when I was a kid -- I had a friend who had a brother with Down syndrome --
and until I was old enough to think a little bit about it, I assumed in the
back of my mind that it had something to do with his mental ability, that he
couldn't pay attention to how words were really pronounced or something. It
didn't occur to me at that age to think of Down syndrome as being a complex of
physical disabilities. Again, this wasn't my conscious thought, or a reflection
of what I was taught, but my unspoken assumptions in the absence of any direct
explanation.

--Helen