dumb things from DH's mouth

Melania wrote:

Still, if he's going to leave his socks in the middle of the living
room floor, I'm going to tease him over it. I suspect that he does
it
now because it's become a running joke.

So many things become like that, don't they? There's something about
having almost grown up with someone (IIRC, you're 28 or thereabouts,
right?) that means you have all kinds of inside jokes and unspoken
understandings.

Yep - we met at age 11, in 6th grade. We had a bunch of the same
teachers, his dad flunked me in high school physics, we graduated in
the same class. Our reunion was hilarious - we'd never dated in high
school, so it was a complete surprise to everyone that we're married.
We actually got pregnant that weekend. I wonder if being around all of
those high school vibes somehow helped! We had gone out to a bar to
play pool, and Ryan (who we also went to high school with) kept buying
me drinks and joking that he was trying to help my husband get lucky.
I think it worked more than either of them expected!!

Were you similarly young when you met your husband, or are you a bit
older than I am?

I like you. I think we'd be friends in real life if you lived
here.

I have been thinking the same thing about you, Amy!!

You know, that is the one thing I hate about the 'net. You meet all
these cool people, and none of them live close enough to hang out with.
My best e-friend, Julie, currently lives in Colorado - we've known
each other like 6 years online, she came to my wedding, we've been out
to see her. Finally she's moving to a city about 5 hours from here
(instead of 20 or however far I am from Colorado - it's not drivable).
I feel like I've won the lottery!

Amy

wrote:
Melania wrote:

Still, if he's going to leave his socks in the middle of the
living
room floor, I'm going to tease him over it. I suspect that he
does
it
now because it's become a running joke.

So many things become like that, don't they? There's something
about
having almost grown up with someone (IIRC, you're 28 or
thereabouts,
right?) that means you have all kinds of inside jokes and unspoken
understandings.

Yep - we met at age 11, in 6th grade. We had a bunch of the same
teachers, his dad flunked me in high school physics, we graduated in
the same class. Our reunion was hilarious - we'd never dated in high
school, so it was a complete surprise to everyone that we're married.
We actually got pregnant that weekend. I wonder if being around all
of
those high school vibes somehow helped! We had gone out to a bar to
play pool, and Ryan (who we also went to high school with) kept
buying
me drinks and joking that he was trying to help my husband get lucky.
I think it worked more than either of them expected!!

Were you similarly young when you met your husband, or are you a bit
older than I am?

I'm a year older than you, I guess - I'll be 30 in November. We were
pretty young - we met at summer camp when I was 14 and he was 13. We
started dating two years later (I got the math wrong earlier!) -
probably would have been a lot sooner if we were from the same town. We
had the same circle of camp friends, many of whom we continue to be
friends with today. We took a break for a couple of years when we were
17-19, when I went to Brazil and he went off to university, but within
about 5 minutes of seeing each other face to face again, we were right
back where we'd left off (we wrote letters, too, in those pre-email
days . . . )

I like you. I think we'd be friends in real life if you lived
here.

I have been thinking the same thing about you, Amy!!

You know, that is the one thing I hate about the 'net. You meet all
these cool people, and none of them live close enough to hang out
with.
My best e-friend, Julie, currently lives in Colorado - we've known
each other like 6 years online, she came to my wedding, we've been
out
to see her. Finally she's moving to a city about 5 hours from here
(instead of 20 or however far I am from Colorado - it's not
drivable).
I feel like I've won the lottery!

Amy

I feel the same way - - the online thing makes the world *seem*
smaller, but it's still the same distance, really. OTOH, it means I've
maintained friendships with people I used to live near, long after they
would have died out otherwise. Where do you live? We're in Vancouver.
We travel a lot; if we're ever out your way I'll let you know!!

(also, you can email me directly at )

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

wrote in message
oups.com...
|
| Melania wrote:
|
| Still, if he's going to leave his socks in the middle of the living
| room floor, I'm going to tease him over it. I suspect that he does
| it
| now because it's become a running joke.
|
| So many things become like that, don't they? There's something about
| having almost grown up with someone (IIRC, you're 28 or thereabouts,
| right?) that means you have all kinds of inside jokes and unspoken
| understandings.
|
| Yep - we met at age 11, in 6th grade. We had a bunch of the same
| teachers, his dad flunked me in high school physics, we graduated in
| the same class. Our reunion was hilarious - we'd never dated in high
| school, so it was a complete surprise to everyone that we're married.
| We actually got pregnant that weekend. I wonder if being around all of
| those high school vibes somehow helped! We had gone out to a bar to
| play pool, and Ryan (who we also went to high school with) kept buying
| me drinks and joking that he was trying to help my husband get lucky.
| I think it worked more than either of them expected!!


I think its kind of neat and funny that you ended up married to someone you
knew all along! I always wondered about people who married their high
school sweethearts, but your system makes sense to me.

Its funny, I find that people with a similar background to my own, or people
from near where I grew up and I have all those inside jokes - theres common
roots, you know? For example, I have one friend who grew up in a nice
secular jewish family like mine - and he is just like family to me somehow.
He feels familiar in a way that other people don't. I suspect marrying
someone with all that common ground is kind of like that.

.....and you are tearing up, too. (admit it. wink)

Warmly,
Kelly

wrote in message
oups.com...

Jamie Clark wrote:
No, I love Amy!

"Rivka W" wrote in message
...

Amy, I think I love you.

Awwww... I love you guys, too! Those hormones make me a little
bit naughty. Hee hee!

Amy

Well, just so you all know, he does change diapers, just not as many (duh,
I'm home during the day now, he's not). However, it isn't his favorite
thing (another duh-lol) but he is a great baby burper and does things I
wouldn't necessarily think of.

Kelly

"Child" wrote in message
...

"Kelly" wrote in message
...
| Sometimes I have to wonder why my DH says the things he does. For
example,
| this past week he said the dumbest things.....
|
| One morning he asked how I was (he calls during the morning rush-of
course)
| and I said I was tired to which he asked *why.* Are you kidding me?

Perhaps he should stay home for a week by himself while you do his job.

| "Beckham likes it when you change his diaper." Like a newborn cares who
| changes his diaper

hehe, the fine art of completely transparent manipulation. Nice try,
husband, but BZZZT, you are snagged.

| To my comment about Beck having his day/night confused (because DH
sleeps
| through the night, he does not realize this little issue ) "well,
just
| wake him up during the day." OH- I hadn't thought of that! :/ hehehe.

Now this sounds like something I would say vbg - The Never Had A Baby
Expert. Hehe.

Ugh-I can't stand seeing people being constantly put down by their spouse.
It is sad IMO and no way to live. One of my favorite guy friends has a DW
who seems to always be teasing him in a not so nice way.

My DH can say pretty pretty dumb things, although over half the time he is
really kidding and just getting my goat. Other times he says things (like
my examples) but goes ahead and takes care of issues. I say equally dumb
things, too and I'm sure he rolls his eyes like I do.

Kelly

wrote in message
oups.com...

Robert Powell wrote:

We're simple not stupid. We love you, we want to help, but to do it
we need
your help.

Tell us what you want, we'll do it!

Tell us why you're doing something and we'll understand!

You get frustrated, we get frustrated. End the frustration cycle I
say,
parents of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your
frustrations!

Bob, do you think sometimes that men give up because they are told so
many times that they're doing something wrong? I've seen this with my
friends and relatives. "Well, I could unload the dishwasher for her,
but I'll just put something back in the wrong place and get yelled at,
and it's easier to avoid getting yelled at by not unloading the
dishwasher at all than it is to risk making a mistake and getting
yelled at..." Especially with men, because they hate to be yelled at
so much, I think it cuts men more deeply than we women realize.

I've made a serious effort since we first moved in together to make
sure that my husband doesn't get criticized for doing things around the
house. Whenever he does the slightest little thing, I practically
throw a ticker tape parade. If he puts something back in the wrong
place, so what? I'd rather have to hunt for the whisk a little than
empty the dishwasher myself! Consequently, I have a husband who does
the lion's share of the laundry, who cleans up the dinner dishes every
night, who picks up after himself (mostly), and who makes my life at
home easier instead of more difficult - even when I'm not pregnant!

I'm thinking of one woman in particular who I know, she criticizes
every little thing that her husband does - even washing his hands in
the kitchen sink! And consequently he doesn't help in the house - he
mows the lawn and does all the outdoor, garage type things, but I can't
see him ever vacuuming or doing laundry. She acts like he's a big kid
that she has to take care of, and she rarely acknowledges the things
that he *does* do for the two of them. It's very sad. Sometimes he
reminds me of a puppy that has been beaten... He walks on eggshells,
in constant fear that he's going to inadvertantly step in it again.

Anyway, this is pretty tangential to your post (which was lovely, by
the way, and very true), but I started musing...

Amy

wrote:
Oh, absolutely! I've noticed that as a group, MKPers are very
respectful of their husbands. We may complain occasionally when they
say or do silly things, but doesn't everyone? Most of my complaining
is when my husband says *hilarious* things - I appreciate his sense of
humor, but I have got to get it through his head that I don't want to
laugh during a transvaginal ultrasound!! Luckily we're done with
those... I thought I was going to die, it hurt so bad...

You had a transvaginal ultrasound that hurt? Really? I mean,
it's not lovely to have the "probe" (I think that's the real
name for it) poking around in there, but I've never found it painful...

Emily

I've made a serious effort since we first moved in together to make
sure that my husband doesn't get criticized for doing things around the
house. Whenever he does the slightest little thing, I practically
throw a ticker tape parade. If he puts something back in the wrong
place, so what? I'd rather have to hunt for the whisk a little than
empty the dishwasher myself! Consequently, I have a husband who does
the lion's share of the laundry, who cleans up the dinner dishes every
night, who picks up after himself (mostly), and who makes my life at
home easier instead of more difficult - even when I'm not pregnant!


Hi Amy...

I've seen other women do this too...praise the man for not being a
lazy oaf and doing even little things around the house. I thought
about that, but I can't bring myself to do it. After all, we both
live in the house and we both have an interest in keeping things
running smoothly. My DH is not slow or less an adult than I am
because he has a penis. So, occasionally, if he does something extra,
I'll say thanks to him. But otherwise, he has his jobs the same as I
have mine. He doesn't fall over himself thanking me for cooking his
meal every night and I don't fall over myself to praise him for
washing up the dishes. We understand we're a team and these jobs keep
the family system running smoothly. I believe we each appreciate the
work the other does, but don't feel the need to make a big deal about
it. Of course, if he says the meal is particularly good, that's nice
to hear...but I don't expect big praise for cooking it. That's just
us.

But I think in reponse to Bob's post...you need to divide the labour
so you're both happy, then stick to your assigned jobs. Everything
gets done and no one needs to get frustrated because they're doing
more. That includes parenthood. Divide the labour so you're both
happy, then follow through on that decision.

L.A.

Child wrote:

I think its kind of neat and funny that you ended up married to
someone you
knew all along! I always wondered about people who married their
high
school sweethearts, but your system makes sense to me.

You know, I wish I could go back and tell my 11 year old self, "Hey,
kid, that's the boy you're going to marry." I sure wouldn't have
believed myself!! I always thought that he was nice, and we were
acquaintances. He'd even been to my house a couple of times with other
friends (I dated one of his friends)... We have all the common
experience advantages while still having the advantage of having dated
other people, if that makes sense. It really works for me. Plus, I
had fun telling my cousins, when they were in sixth grade, "Be nice to
the boys, you never know which one you'll marry!"

It runs in the family. My mom and dad have known each other since they
were three, and my mom's parents met in kindergarten. My grandfather
came home from school on the first day of kindergarten and told my
great-grandmother that he was going to marry my grandmother. 13 years
later, he did (they were just babies.... 18 years old! He always said
that 13 was his lucky number.

Another thing that runs in my family is spouses working together. I
work with my husband in his business (I'm not an owner, though), my mom
and my step-dad own a business, and my mom's parents owned a business
together.

"Feels like history repeating..."

Its funny, I find that people with a similar background to my own, or
people
from near where I grew up and I have all those inside jokes - theres
common
roots, you know? For example, I have one friend who grew up in a
nice
secular jewish family like mine - and he is just like family to me
somehow.
He feels familiar in a way that other people don't. I suspect
marrying
someone with all that common ground is kind of like that.

We save a ton of conversational time because if I say that I went
somewhere one time, he knows exactly where I'm talking about - I don't
have to describe the place. We even went to the same day care for a
while as little kids, although it's unclear whether we were there at
the same moment or not. Talking with him is sort of like living my
life all over again, but with a different camera angle, if that makes
any sense. We had so many parallel experiences that we lived from
different perspectives, especially some of the main events of high
school. It has really helped me appreciate how other people see
things, and to learn to see past the end of my own nose.

Plus, knowing that someone who knew me when I had The Perm From Hell in
sixth grade loves me anyway? THAT is love... That's the real thing.
It was like little orphan Annie on the top, and it was long in the
back, but the curl didn't take in the back so it was just zig zaggy.
It was like a permed mullet, if you can believe it. Hideous. It only
lasted about a week before I managed to scrub it out... Ugh. But he
saw The Perm, and he loves me. Wow. He knew me when I went a little
insane in high school, and lost all perspective on life, morals,
values... and he loves me. It just astonishes me.

Heee... don't get me started!

Amy

Melania wrote:

I'm a year older than you, I guess - I'll be 30 in November. We were
pretty young - we met at summer camp when I was 14 and he was 13. We
started dating two years later (I got the math wrong earlier!) -
probably would have been a lot sooner if we were from the same town.
We
had the same circle of camp friends, many of whom we continue to be
friends with today. We took a break for a couple of years when we
were
17-19, when I went to Brazil and he went off to university, but
within
about 5 minutes of seeing each other face to face again, we were
right
back where we'd left off (we wrote letters, too, in those pre-email
days . . . )

Awwwww....

Ok, now I have to tell my story. So we grew up in the same town, and
never dated. Then when I was 21 I was living in The Big City, and he
was taking a semester off from college and living at home. His mom was
getting remarried, and my mom the wedding consultant was coordinating
his mom's wedding. He came to mom's office to be measured for his tux.
He walked in and said, "I'm thinking about getting married..." Mom
said, "Great, when's the date?" and he says, "Well, first I was
wondering if you could help me find the girl!" (Smart ass...) My mom
is quick, though, and so she immediately starts talking about me. He
thinks to himself, "Wow, she doesn't know I'm kidding!" and backs off.
Mom's last name isn't the same as mine, so it took him a while to put
together that he already knew me.

Meanwhile, my brother is graduating from high school. My husband's and
my mutual friend, the one I dated, comes to his open house. We got to
talking and I said, "So what are you doing later?" He told me that he
had plans with DH, and I said, "Well, I have plans with Barb, why don't
we all go together and make it look like we have dates?" He agreed,
and we planned to meet up later (not knowing any of the above).

So I go back inside and mentioned our plans to my mom, and she starts
cracking up. She's laughing so hard that she can't breathe. Finally,
I get the tux story out of her. I was so embarassed that she was
trying to yenta me!! But I laughed it off, and said, "Him? No way,
I've known him since we were kids and he's a big nerd." She said, "You
haven't seen him lately, have you?"

Fast forward to that night, we meet up at a coffee shop. I walked in
and saw him and I *knew*. I know it sounds hokey, but I knew that he
was The One. Growing up had been very kind to him! Plus, I already
knew that he was a sweetheart, and that he was awfully smart. So, I
walked up to him and said, "So, I hear we're engaged!" We had a good
laugh, and lived happily ever after. Awwww.....

I feel the same way - - the online thing makes the world *seem*
smaller, but it's still the same distance, really. OTOH, it means
I've
maintained friendships with people I used to live near, long after
they
would have died out otherwise. Where do you live? We're in Vancouver.
We travel a lot; if we're ever out your way I'll let you know!!

(also, you can email me directly at )

That would be totally cool... I emailed you. I'm weird about giving
my location online... One time a guy from another newsgroup called me
at work! That's when I used a fake name... He had pieced together all
the things I had said, and figured out where I worked. He only lived
about 45 minutes from here, too. Creeped me out royally.

Not that YOU would do that, of course, but you never know who's
listening.

Amy