Is a 16 month ready for weaning?

I'd appreciate tips and advice on weaning a 16 month old.
She's down to 1 feed a day - the reunion feed after I pick her
up from the childminder's (I work full-time). When we get home
she's like a boob-junkie! Cross, irritable, clingy, whingy until
she gets her feed and then she's a different child - pink faced,
cheerful, independently pottering off to do her own thing. It's
the only feed she asks for but she absolutly demands it.

She's a very self-possessed, confident toddler. Both her child-minders
love having her and say she's always busy with her own explorations.
It seems to me that she's saying "Look Mum, I've been big and strong
and grown-up all day and now I need to be babied". It's got nothing
to do with food. Exactly the same even if she's just eaten a huge dinner.
6:30 is boob time.

I suppose I'm a bit conflicted. I'd love to have my body to myself for
a while before another pregnancy but I don't think she's emotionally
ready to wean yet. When she feeds it's eyes closed, total concentration,
serious feeding. No playing or nipple twiddling. Then she's down, off
and happy.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks,
Jenny

"Jenny Ryan" wrote in message
om...
I suppose I'm a bit conflicted. I'd love to have my body to myself for
a while before another pregnancy but I don't think she's emotionally
ready to wean yet. When she feeds it's eyes closed, total concentration,
serious feeding. No playing or nipple twiddling. Then she's down, off
and happy.

Any thoughts or advice?

One feed a day? Honestly, I'd just keep doing it. You can decide how to
handle it if she wants to increase again, but if it's just one feed a day
I'd keep going with it. Especially if she gets upset without it.

Ds weaned at 16 months, but he really didn't care about nursing anymore. His
last feeding was in the morning and one morning dh got him out of bed and
brought him downstairs. He didn't miss that feed and never asked again. To
me, that was a kid who was ready.

You comment about wanting your body to yourself before another pregnancy.
How long each day is your body hers? Ten minutes? Fifteen maybe? Really,
it's not that much time in a day. Good luck.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

Some sixteen month olds may be ready for weaning, but yours isn't one of them.
:-) If I were you, I would try to be happy that she has this wonderful way of
making herself feel reconnected with you after a long day apart, and I would
let her continue as long as she wishes to. Lots of babies wean during
pregnancy, when the milk mostly dries up.

(I'm certainly sympathetic, with my 33 month old who had to be nursed through
almost an entire morning Mass at my kids' school today, or else disturb
everyone with cries of, "Ba! I want ba! Please, please! Not Later! Now!")

Leslie

Jenny Ryan wrote:

She's a very self-possessed, confident toddler. Both her
child-minders love having her and say she's always busy with her own
explorations. It seems to me that she's saying "Look Mum, I've been
big and strong and grown-up all day and now I need to be babied".
It's got nothing to do with food. Exactly the same even if she's
just eaten a huge dinner. 6:30 is boob time.

She's clearly not ready for weaning. Her nursing time seems very important
to her.

Especially since it's just the one nursing session a day, I'd stick with it
until she's ready to let it go.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

Jenny Ryan wrote:
I'd appreciate tips and advice on weaning a 16 month old.
She's down to 1 feed a day - the reunion feed after I pick her
up from the childminder's (I work full-time). When we get home
she's like a boob-junkie! Cross, irritable, clingy, whingy until
she gets her feed and then she's a different child - pink faced,
cheerful, independently pottering off to do her own thing. It's
the only feed she asks for but she absolutly demands it.

She's a very self-possessed, confident toddler. Both her child-minders
love having her and say she's always busy with her own explorations.
It seems to me that she's saying "Look Mum, I've been big and strong
and grown-up all day and now I need to be babied". It's got nothing
to do with food. Exactly the same even if she's just eaten a huge dinner.
6:30 is boob time.

I suppose I'm a bit conflicted. I'd love to have my body to myself for
a while before another pregnancy but I don't think she's emotionally
ready to wean yet. When she feeds it's eyes closed, total concentration,
serious feeding. No playing or nipple twiddling. Then she's down, off
and happy.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks,
Jenny


If it were me, I wouldn't try to wean her. My 22-month-old generally
nurses 3 times a day: morning, before nap, before bedtime. I figure
those are times when I'd be sitting down with him and cuddling anyway,
so why not nurse him? For me, weaning would come when the
inconvenience of nursing outweighed the inconvenience of weaning - and
that hasn't happened yet.

Clisby

In article ,
(Jenny Ryan) wrote:

I'd appreciate tips and advice on weaning a 16 month old.
She's down to 1 feed a day - the reunion feed after I pick her
up from the childminder's (I work full-time). When we get home
she's like a boob-junkie! Cross, irritable, clingy, whingy until
she gets her feed and then she's a different child - pink faced,
cheerful, independently pottering off to do her own thing. It's
the only feed she asks for but she absolutly demands it.

She's a very self-possessed, confident toddler. Both her child-minders
love having her and say she's always busy with her own explorations.
It seems to me that she's saying "Look Mum, I've been big and strong
and grown-up all day and now I need to be babied". It's got nothing
to do with food. Exactly the same even if she's just eaten a huge dinner.
6:30 is boob time.

I suppose I'm a bit conflicted. I'd love to have my body to myself for
a while before another pregnancy but I don't think she's emotionally
ready to wean yet. When she feeds it's eyes closed, total concentration,
serious feeding. No playing or nipple twiddling. Then she's down, off
and happy.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks,
Jenny

Wow! I never had that. If you want to wean, I think she'd be able to
handle it, though. All kids are different, but I know that mine has
adjusted really quickly to things that I anticipate being problems.

At about 15 months, I had eliminated all but the morning feeding, mainly
because I enjoyed the cuddle time. And when I decided to wean at 18
months, first I happened to be away a few days and Daddy took care of
him, which went fine. Then when I came back, when I got him in the
morning and he asked to nurse, I told him I didn't have any more milk,
let's go in the kitchen to get some and took him to the kitchen for a
sippy cup of milk instead. This went surprisingly smoothly for us.

Sounds like your child wants some mama time, and is recharging and
reconnecting with you after a day apart, which is great, but I don't
think it has to be nursing if you don't want to. You could tell her that
you don't have any milk, and give her a cup of milk instead and cuddle
with her for a story. Call it "mama's special time" or something. She
may not like it for a few days, but she'll adjust, and you might well be
surprised how quickly she adjusts. I was surprised with my DS.

Are you ever not home at 6:30? What does she do after she gets home from
daycare if someone else is with her? Maybe try doing what they do to
help her adjust to being home.

- Lynn

lynn wrote in message ...

Sounds like your child wants some mama time, and is recharging and
reconnecting with you after a day apart, which is great, but I don't
think it has to be nursing if you don't want to. You could tell her that
you don't have any milk, and give her a cup of milk instead and cuddle
with her for a story. Call it "mama's special time" or something. She
may not like it for a few days, but she'll adjust, and you might well be
surprised how quickly she adjusts. I was surprised with my DS.

Just as a datapoint, although not quite BF relevant; my son
stopped nursing at about 11 months due to work-related bottle
preference. He's about 15 months old now, and we still have what
I think of as nursing-substitute sessions first thing in the
morning and right after day care, during which he gets his only
two bottles of the day. It's definitely cuddle/relax/reconnect
time; I wish it could be nursing, but it's pretty nice all the
same. So I agree with Lynn that rather than trying to skip this
session altogether, you might have more luck substituting cow's
milk for nursing but keeping the routine otherwise. Mine
definitely needs those few minutes of peace and contact, yours
probably does too.

Beth

"Jenny Ryan" wrote in message
om...
I suppose I'm a bit conflicted. I'd love to have my body to myself for
a while before another pregnancy but I don't think she's emotionally
ready to wean yet. When she feeds it's eyes closed, total concentration,
serious feeding. No playing or nipple twiddling. Then she's down, off
and happy.

If you want to see if she's ready, try testing her by distracting her at her
regular nursing time and seeing how easy that is. If she cannot be
distracted, you may have some time to go, but if she can be distracted, then
it wouldn't take much to wean her and she probably wouldn't miss it. That's
just about how I did it with DS. When he was down to one session before
going to sleep, DH would put him to sleep. He said it was no problem DS
missed his session but didn't complain. Then, I knew he was ready. So, I
had DH put him to sleep for 2 weeks straight and it went well. He only
asked for it once or twice afterwards and was not upset when I refused.
Very smooth, he barely noticed.

Thanks a lot for all your replies. You've helped to clarify the
situation.
Both of us need that reconnecting space at the end of a long day
apart. I'd
be horrifed to lose those cuddles but am feeling like I'm getting to
the end
of a very enjoyable breast-feeding journey. I'm going to keep feeding
as long
as she needs it but will try offering her a cup of milk & cream
beforehand to start off a slow transition.

BTW she adores cows milk with added cream but turns her nose up at
plain full
fat milk. I guess this is because expressed breast milk seems to be
about
40% cream, not 3%. Has anyone else had this experience?

Thanks again,
Jenny