Situation update

Which would be a lie ...

wrote:

We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to ultimately tell
him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@.

coming from the real mother.

If it's proven that I'm not
the father, and we get him to let me adopt him, then that's one solution.

I've already dealt with the moral ramifications of her affair.

How about dealing with it from the perspective of the child's rights
instead of your own wounded ego?

When it
happened, unfortunately, I did not insist on a test of the child while she was
pregnant. She was sure there was no chance it wasn't, which was her 4th or 5th
mistake. If I have already tried to get past this, knowing about what she did,
am I a hypocrite if I wind up leaving her if the child isn't mine?

Not at all.

All I want is to know why this is happening at all, and maybe I'll get answers
in court next week. If the threat of him paying CS for the next 21 years isn't
enough for him to give this up, then I'll just have to find some other way to
make his life a living hell.

Reeeeaaal nice attitude towards the parent of the child you claim to
want to adopt. Makes it VERY difficult to believe you won't find a
thousand little ways to take out your anger on the child too.

Maybe when he ultimately gets married, I'll screw
his wife and get her pregnant! That would be pretty funny!

Yeah, real funny - one more damaged child. You're a real laugh.

I'll have my day. Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Too bad you can't limit the suffering to the one who cuckolded you.

Mel Gamble

Melvin Gamble wrote:
And what happens if he succeeds in getting "the kid" out of the child's
life and then "the kid" comes back in 15 years? How does he explain
lieing to the child for 15 years? How does he explain 15 years of
denying the child a relationship with the real father? How does the
mother answer those same questions?

If you must lie to your kids...lie about Santa Claus and the Easter
Bunny, not about who their parents are.

wrote in message ...
We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to
ultimately tell
him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that I'm
not
the father, and we get him to let me adopt him, then that's one solution.
==
Ya know, the more I hear from you the more I question *your* motives for
wanting
to adopt this child and eliminate the father. It seems you are simply
wanting to get back at *him.*
I'm not sure this child means any more to you than any other child on the
street, and perhaps less.
(More Below to double == )
==

I've already dealt with the moral ramifications of her affair.
==
You surely have not--if you had, you would also be dealing with the child
and his father better.
This immorality play does not consist solely of your wife.
==
When it
happened, unfortunately, I did not insist on a test of the child while she
was
pregnant. She was sure there was no chance it wasn't, which was her 4th
or 5th
mistake. If I have already tried to get past this, knowing about what she
did,
am I a hypocrite if I wind up leaving her if the child isn't mine?
==
She had an affair. To forgive her is one thing, the plays on this child's
future and his
(possible father) is another.
==

All I want is to know why this is happening at all,
==
This is very simple--a no-brainer. Listen up:
This is happening BECAUSE YOUR WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR!
==
and maybe I'll get answers
in court next week. If the threat of him paying CS for the next 21 years
isn't
enough for him to give this up, then I'll just have to find some other way
to
make his life a living hell.
==
For what? Sleeping with your willing wife?
==
Maybe when he ultimately gets married, I'll screw
his wife and get her pregnant! That would be pretty funny!
==
Yeah, I can see this child's future already.
==

I'll have my day. Revenge is a dish best served cold...
==
Your revenge is *clearly* (to nearly everyone but you) misplaced.
Your wife has screwed over at least three males--you, the baby's father, and
the baby. I'll leave you
to add up all the near relatives of yours, hers, the baby's, and the baby's
father, she has screwed. It
looks like there is a good chance that this baby would be better off if his
bio dad had sole custody.
==
==

Melvin Gamble wrote:
And what happens if he succeeds in getting "the kid" out of the child's
life and then "the kid" comes back in 15 years? How does he explain
lieing to the child for 15 years? How does he explain 15 years of
denying the child a relationship with the real father? How does the
mother answer those same questions?

If you must lie to your kids...lie about Santa Claus and the Easter
Bunny, not about who their parents are.

wrote in message ...
We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to
ultimately tell
him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that I'm
not
the father, and we get him to let me adopt him, then that's one solution.
==
Ya know, the more I hear from you the more I question *your* motives for
wanting
to adopt this child and eliminate the father. It seems you are simply
wanting to get back at *him.*
I'm not sure this child means any more to you than any other child on the
street, and perhaps less.
(More Below to double == )
==

I've already dealt with the moral ramifications of her affair.
==
You surely have not--if you had, you would also be dealing with the child
and his father better.
This immorality play does not consist solely of your wife.
==
When it
happened, unfortunately, I did not insist on a test of the child while she
was
pregnant. She was sure there was no chance it wasn't, which was her 4th
or 5th
mistake. If I have already tried to get past this, knowing about what she
did,
am I a hypocrite if I wind up leaving her if the child isn't mine?
==
She had an affair. To forgive her is one thing, the plays on this child's
future and his
(possible father) is another.
==

All I want is to know why this is happening at all,
==
This is very simple--a no-brainer. Listen up:
This is happening BECAUSE YOUR WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR!
==
and maybe I'll get answers
in court next week. If the threat of him paying CS for the next 21 years
isn't
enough for him to give this up, then I'll just have to find some other way
to
make his life a living hell.
==
For what? Sleeping with your willing wife?
==
Maybe when he ultimately gets married, I'll screw
his wife and get her pregnant! That would be pretty funny!
==
Yeah, I can see this child's future already.
==

I'll have my day. Revenge is a dish best served cold...
==
Your revenge is *clearly* (to nearly everyone but you) misplaced.
Your wife has screwed over at least three males--you, the baby's father, and
the baby. I'll leave you
to add up all the near relatives of yours, hers, the baby's, and the baby's
father, she has screwed. It
looks like there is a good chance that this baby would be better off if his
bio dad had sole custody.
==
==

Melvin Gamble wrote:
And what happens if he succeeds in getting "the kid" out of the child's
life and then "the kid" comes back in 15 years? How does he explain
lieing to the child for 15 years? How does he explain 15 years of
denying the child a relationship with the real father? How does the
mother answer those same questions?

If you must lie to your kids...lie about Santa Claus and the Easter
Bunny, not about who their parents are.

Naturally, I have to deal with my 'wounded ego' here. My feelings for the child
are geniune. Yes, unfortunately my wife was a willing participant in all of
this, but she doesn't want any more to do with this guy than I do. Is the child
really better off knowing how and why he was conceived in situations like these?
If she was raped, would that make this situation any different when it
concerns the biological father? My anger isn't misplaced here, I want what's
best for the child, and for him to have a wonderful life. I want very much to
provide that life for him. Would it be any different if he were just a sperm
donor? What if he had raped or drugged my wife? From what I hear, even rapists
can claim paternity. It's still an intrusion into my life that I have to deal
with, so why shouldn't I be selfish and want him out of everyone's life, when
nobody wants anything to do with him?

Obviously, I disagree with some people here that biological fathers should have
rights in every case. Morals don't count in court, and whether I'm innocent or
not doesn't make a difference at all. I don't need that lecture, because I'm
all too aware of the facts here.

Again, it's still not impossible that I am the father. Blood tests coming will
confirm, or at least exclude me. The easiest thing would be for me to leave if
I'm not the father, then my wounded ego could go it's own way and not be
bothered by anyone. Is that the answer someone else wants to tell me? The
child is better off without me because of my disgust and contempt for the
biological father that wronged me? Step off the soap box, if you've been in my
situation then maybe you can talk about how I should act and react.

gini52 wrote:
wrote in message ...

We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to

ultimately tell

him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that I'm

not

Naturally, I have to deal with my 'wounded ego' here. My feelings for the child
are geniune. Yes, unfortunately my wife was a willing participant in all of
this, but she doesn't want any more to do with this guy than I do. Is the child
really better off knowing how and why he was conceived in situations like these?
If she was raped, would that make this situation any different when it
concerns the biological father? My anger isn't misplaced here, I want what's
best for the child, and for him to have a wonderful life. I want very much to
provide that life for him. Would it be any different if he were just a sperm
donor? What if he had raped or drugged my wife? From what I hear, even rapists
can claim paternity. It's still an intrusion into my life that I have to deal
with, so why shouldn't I be selfish and want him out of everyone's life, when
nobody wants anything to do with him?

Obviously, I disagree with some people here that biological fathers should have
rights in every case. Morals don't count in court, and whether I'm innocent or
not doesn't make a difference at all. I don't need that lecture, because I'm
all too aware of the facts here.

Again, it's still not impossible that I am the father. Blood tests coming will
confirm, or at least exclude me. The easiest thing would be for me to leave if
I'm not the father, then my wounded ego could go it's own way and not be
bothered by anyone. Is that the answer someone else wants to tell me? The
child is better off without me because of my disgust and contempt for the
biological father that wronged me? Step off the soap box, if you've been in my
situation then maybe you can talk about how I should act and react.

gini52 wrote:
wrote in message ...

We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to

ultimately tell

him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that I'm

not

wrote in message ...
Naturally, I have to deal with my 'wounded ego' here. My feelings for the
child
are geniune. Yes, unfortunately my wife was a willing participant in all
of
this, but she doesn't want any more to do with this guy than I do. Is the
child
really better off knowing how and why he was conceived in situations like
these?
If she was raped, would that make this situation any different when it
concerns the biological father? My anger isn't misplaced here, I want
what's
best for the child, and for him to have a wonderful life. I want very
much to
provide that life for him. Would it be any different if he were just a
sperm
donor? What if he had raped or drugged my wife? From what I hear, even
rapists
can claim paternity. It's still an intrusion into my life that I have to
deal
with, so why shouldn't I be selfish and want him out of everyone's life,
when
nobody wants anything to do with him?

Obviously, I disagree with some people here that biological fathers should
have
rights in every case. Morals don't count in court, and whether I'm
innocent or
not doesn't make a difference at all. I don't need that lecture, because
I'm
all too aware of the facts here.

Again, it's still not impossible that I am the father. Blood tests coming
will
confirm, or at least exclude me. The easiest thing would be for me to
leave if
I'm not the father, then my wounded ego could go it's own way and not be
bothered by anyone. Is that the answer someone else wants to tell me?
The
child is better off without me because of my disgust and contempt for the
biological father that wronged me? Step off the soap box, if you've been
in my
situation then maybe you can talk about how I should act and react.
==
You came here asking for opinions--I gave you mine. And there would be a
difference if she were
raped. Then she would have been the victim instead of the victimizer. Too,
in this case,
the potential bio father wishes to be a part of the child's life. That makes
a difference as well.
As I said before, this area of family law is in transition and courts aren't
as quick to just eliminate
the bio father--at the request of men's groups, by the way. You can do all
the forgiving you want--I'm just
a non-entity on an internet newsgroup and my opinion does not factor into
your life at all but, the
great part about usenet it is that I get to give it anyway. Expecting
someone to step off the soapbox of usenet is silly.
That's why we're here ;-). Anyway, I think you are putting too much blame at
the feet of the father and perhaps somewhat naive in thinking that your wife
is suddenly re-committed to you. Have you considered that she may be
committed to your wallet? How does your "ability to pay" stack up against
his? At first, I saw you as a victim who is trying to do the right thing for
your family but your hostilities toward the possible dad are your weakness,
and will inevitably affect your relationship with the boy. The possible
father did no more to you than your wife yet you harbor such hostility.
Maybe it's a man thing and the guys here will straighten me out. How about
it Mel, Bob, others, how would you handle this if it were your wife? It
seems that, to be honest to yourself, the child and your marriage, you must
forgive him as well, as long as he wants to be a father to the child. It
seems like a package deal to me. If he didn't want to be a part of his
child's life, I would feel differently. As it is, I see a father trying to
be involved with his child and another man vowing to persecute him for life.
As a father's rights proponent, I certainly could not cheer you on in your
hostilities without considering the position of a bio dad who wants his
child. This man had no vow to be faithful to you; your wife did. Another
thing that strikes me is your position that you can only stay married and
raise this child if the father is totally out of the picture. That makes
your motives extremely suspect. As Mel said, you are looking at what *you*
need, not what the child needs. Parents know beyond a doubt that their
children's needs trump their own (well, except Clark and a Brian or two
around here and that other what's-his-name). This includes the needs of an
adopted child. I can see no benefit to you, your marriage or this child in
your position on this matter and I can almost guarantee that you will end up
in a divorce possibly paying a lot of child support for a child who is not
yours. But, when you get back here in that situation, I promise not to say
"I told you so."
==
==

gini52 wrote:
wrote in message ...

We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to

ultimately tell

him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that
I'm

not

wrote in message ...
Naturally, I have to deal with my 'wounded ego' here. My feelings for the
child
are geniune. Yes, unfortunately my wife was a willing participant in all
of
this, but she doesn't want any more to do with this guy than I do. Is the
child
really better off knowing how and why he was conceived in situations like
these?
If she was raped, would that make this situation any different when it
concerns the biological father? My anger isn't misplaced here, I want
what's
best for the child, and for him to have a wonderful life. I want very
much to
provide that life for him. Would it be any different if he were just a
sperm
donor? What if he had raped or drugged my wife? From what I hear, even
rapists
can claim paternity. It's still an intrusion into my life that I have to
deal
with, so why shouldn't I be selfish and want him out of everyone's life,
when
nobody wants anything to do with him?

Obviously, I disagree with some people here that biological fathers should
have
rights in every case. Morals don't count in court, and whether I'm
innocent or
not doesn't make a difference at all. I don't need that lecture, because
I'm
all too aware of the facts here.

Again, it's still not impossible that I am the father. Blood tests coming
will
confirm, or at least exclude me. The easiest thing would be for me to
leave if
I'm not the father, then my wounded ego could go it's own way and not be
bothered by anyone. Is that the answer someone else wants to tell me?
The
child is better off without me because of my disgust and contempt for the
biological father that wronged me? Step off the soap box, if you've been
in my
situation then maybe you can talk about how I should act and react.
==
You came here asking for opinions--I gave you mine. And there would be a
difference if she were
raped. Then she would have been the victim instead of the victimizer. Too,
in this case,
the potential bio father wishes to be a part of the child's life. That makes
a difference as well.
As I said before, this area of family law is in transition and courts aren't
as quick to just eliminate
the bio father--at the request of men's groups, by the way. You can do all
the forgiving you want--I'm just
a non-entity on an internet newsgroup and my opinion does not factor into
your life at all but, the
great part about usenet it is that I get to give it anyway. Expecting
someone to step off the soapbox of usenet is silly.
That's why we're here ;-). Anyway, I think you are putting too much blame at
the feet of the father and perhaps somewhat naive in thinking that your wife
is suddenly re-committed to you. Have you considered that she may be
committed to your wallet? How does your "ability to pay" stack up against
his? At first, I saw you as a victim who is trying to do the right thing for
your family but your hostilities toward the possible dad are your weakness,
and will inevitably affect your relationship with the boy. The possible
father did no more to you than your wife yet you harbor such hostility.
Maybe it's a man thing and the guys here will straighten me out. How about
it Mel, Bob, others, how would you handle this if it were your wife? It
seems that, to be honest to yourself, the child and your marriage, you must
forgive him as well, as long as he wants to be a father to the child. It
seems like a package deal to me. If he didn't want to be a part of his
child's life, I would feel differently. As it is, I see a father trying to
be involved with his child and another man vowing to persecute him for life.
As a father's rights proponent, I certainly could not cheer you on in your
hostilities without considering the position of a bio dad who wants his
child. This man had no vow to be faithful to you; your wife did. Another
thing that strikes me is your position that you can only stay married and
raise this child if the father is totally out of the picture. That makes
your motives extremely suspect. As Mel said, you are looking at what *you*
need, not what the child needs. Parents know beyond a doubt that their
children's needs trump their own (well, except Clark and a Brian or two
around here and that other what's-his-name). This includes the needs of an
adopted child. I can see no benefit to you, your marriage or this child in
your position on this matter and I can almost guarantee that you will end up
in a divorce possibly paying a lot of child support for a child who is not
yours. But, when you get back here in that situation, I promise not to say
"I told you so."
==
==

gini52 wrote:
wrote in message ...

We would be saying the child was adopted, which we would have to

ultimately tell

him if we succeeded in getting rid of this %^$@. If it's proven that
I'm

not

wrote:
I'll have my day. Revenge is a dish best served cold...

No, you won't. It'll never be good enough.

wrote:
I'll have my day. Revenge is a dish best served cold...

No, you won't. It'll never be good enough.

,

Try not to pay any attention to anything "Melvin Gamble" posts. He
lives for trying to incite a riot.

You're better off skipping his posts altogether. He's a troll.

And an idiot.