Summertime blues - Here's a guide to getting kids off the couch

Summertime blues
Did your plans -- or lack of them -- go awry? Here's a guide to
getting kids off the couch
By Alison apRoberts -- Bee Staff Writer

Published 12:01 am PDT Saturday, July 8, 2006
Story appeared in Scene section, Page K1

Is "I'm bored" your kid's new mantra? Are the only things getting a
workout in your home the remote control, the refrigerator door and the
sofa?

After months of being the homework police, maybe you figured you could
back off and give yourself and your child a break from deadlines and
tight schedules. Let the kid sleep in, let summer unfold like a lazy
daydream.

Now you find that you were the one dreaming, and you're living with a
nightma a child worn out by too much of nothing to do.

And the season of discontent is far from over.

Luckily, there's still time to get kids out of bed, away from the TV
and even out of the house.

Here's a poor-planner's guide to summer parenting, with some
suggestions to bring the sunshine of a little routine into the season.

Safety first
There are compelling reasons to tackle the summer doldrums before
downtime turns into down-and-out time.

Younger kids need to have adults around to care for them and pull the
reins on couch time.

Kids generally should be 12 or so before they spend significant time
unsupervised, according to Jean O'Neil, the director of research for
the National Crime Prevention Council, a nonprofit based in
Washington, D.C. But a child's readiness for home-alone time is
variable.

"There are some 14-year-olds who can run an empire and some
14-year-olds who can't run the garbage disposal without causing major
havoc," O'Neil says.

When adults aren't around, kids, uh, do stuff they aren't supposed to.

"We certainly know that kids tend to participate in risky behaviors in
unsupervised times," says Michelle Boykins, an NCPC spokeswoman.

"We always say to parents, 'Know where your kids are,' " says Sgt.
R.L. Davis, a spokesman for the Sacramento County Sheriff's
Department. "And make sure your kids have a way to get ahold of you."

Enrolling kids in activities that are overseen by adults is an obvious
solution. It's finding balance in the schedule that's tricky.

"One of the most difficult challenges a parent faces in the summer is,
'How do I keep my kid engaged without making them feel like they're on
a treadmill?' " O'Neil says.

How busy is busy enough?
How much structure and supervision kids need varies, and there's no
one-size-fits-all answer.

"You can have the overscheduled, or the hurried or the pushed child,"
says Kimberly Gordon, a professor of child development at California
State University, Sacramento.

From infancy to about 6, all kids need lots of structure and routine
in their lives, Gordon says. After that, they can take more
flexibility in stride, but they still need monitoring.

When they hit the double-digit ages, they may start to chafe against
anything that sounds like baby-sitting.

"They probably don't want to have someone watching them at 10, 11 or
12, but they really need it," Gordon says. Beyond that, more
self-reliance -- with oversight -- is in order.

"By the time they reach 13, they're probably OK by themselves," Gordon
says. "If you work, you should check in by phone, and if they're busy
four to six of the eight hours you're gone, that's probably good."

Don't forget to ask Y
At the Central Family YMCA in midtown Sacramento, executive director
Liz Long is used to the desperate calls from parents who need to find
something for their kids to do immediately.

"You would be amazed," Long says. "Parents are surprised by the end of
school."

Luckily, Long often can help out, as many of the Y's camps for this
summer were not yet filled by the end of June. In addition to day
camps for younger kids, those 14 and older can have teen memberships
for $22 a month at the Central YMCA and use the facility on their own.

At the Sacramento YMCA's northeast facility on Eastern Avenue, there
are spaces available in day camps for kids ages 5 to 14 for almost
every week of the summer, according to Scott Graham, executive
director.

Kids 14 and up can be youth members at this facility for $10 a month
during the summer, and teens also may come in to work as volunteers
pretty much as they want.

"Generally, we're not so big that we can't squeeze a kid into a
program," Graham says.

Filling in the gaps
Sometimes kids need just a few hours or days of the week to keep them
off the couch most of the week.

"We're that middle ground for a lot of people; kids don't usually come
every day," says Kim Williams, vice president of program services for
the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Sacramento. "Things that get kids
out of the house; you can't go wrong with that. The less time they
have to spend at home in front of the television, the better."

Both Boys & Girls clubs in Sacramento have libraries, computer labs,
gyms and game rooms. (Bring on the foosball tournaments.)

Take your kid's lead
Kimberley Kipp had trouble believing her ears when Nolan, her
13-year-old son, said he wanted to go to summer school.

"I was flabbergasted," she says. "I just about fell on the floor."

He meant it, and he's going to summer school at Christian Brothers
High School (which he'll be entering as a freshman in the fall). He's
taking two morning classes: algebra and study skills. Then he comes
home for lunch and some ESPN time (he's "all about baseball" his mom
says). Late afternoon, he usually starts calling friends to go to a
movie, hang out or bike over to a gym near his home in Folsom.

Kipp, who is a single mother who works from home, says this summer has
been a breeze, in part because Nolan made his own plans and didn't
feel they were imposed.

"I don't have to haggle with him to get up," she says, trying not to
sound astonished.

Her advice for other parents: "Talk to your kids; see what interests
them and make a plan."

Do some good
Some kids may be motivated by the chance to do something for someone
else.

"We get 10 to 15 calls a week from parents looking for things for
their kids to do," says Frank Kennedy, executive director of the
Volunteer Center of Sacramento.

Kennedy says that if parents participate with their kids, children as
young as 8 or 10 can find volunteer jobs. Independent volunteer work
is usually restricted to kids of at least 13 or 14.

The commitments required range from modest, one-time events to more
extended projects. The payoff can be considerable.

"It enriches kids' view of what the community is," Kennedy says. The
experience can also help teens get letters of recommendation and work
experience that can lead to that golden dream of teen years: a paid
job.

Camp options
You might figure that all the day and overnight camp options are long
gone, but the chance of finding a last-minute spot is better than
ever, according to Ann Woods, a spokeswoman for the American Camp
Association, which accredits camps.

"I think there is some hope," Woods says. "There are a lot of new
camps that are springing up."

To find a camp your kid will enjoy, the best place to start is close
to home.

"Ask your neighbors; that's probably the best reference," Woods says.

At Sacramento State, there are many day camps available. In the Peak
Adventures camps, there were spots still available by the end of June
for dates throughout the summer.

"If someone calls the week before and we have space, we'll definitely
enroll them," says Pamela Mendoza, a program specialist with Peak
Adventures.

A little boredom won't hurt
Marcy Axness, an early-development expert and parenting counselor in
the Los Angeles area, says a little boredom can go a long way toward
helping kids develop inner resources to amuse themselves.

"I think that for the young and the school-age child, constructive
boredom is a kind of learning," she says. "It gives them an
opportunity to flex their own creative initiative."

She used to keep a list of 40 possible things to do in her daughter's
room for anytime she felt bored. The list included writing a story,
composing a song, doing an art project and even reorganizing the
Tupperware cabinet.

Her daughter, now 15, sometimes responds to the list in the usual
teenage manner: "There's very often the rolling of the eyes, but then
it's followed up by, half an hour later, she's involved in making some
collage."

Colleen Slavin, 16, of El Dorado Hills says she learned how to ban
boredom during a long, dull summer a couple of years ago.

"I remember sitting around bored out of my mind and watching reruns; I
pledged never to do that again," she says. "Now I sign myself up for
summer school, plays, singing, dancing classes, most of the stuff I
can't do during school."

This summer, she has no time for ennui, with frequent rehearsals for a
production of "42nd Street" with El Dorado Musical Theatre. She's also
taking an SAT prep class.

She says parents might as well let their kids learn the hard, boring
way that she did.

"I think parents should let kids get bored, because then they'll make
their own plans," she says.

Keep summer safe
Guidelines from the National Crime Prevention Council include the
following tips for kids who are home alone. You can find the tips on
the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department Web site at
www.sacsheriff.com; click on the "crime prevention" tab, where you'll
find "At Home Alone: A Parent's Guide" and other advice on keeping
kids safe.

• When kids get home from an activity, have them check in with you or
some other adult.

• Make sure kids know their address, how to call 911 and how to give
directions home.

A few rules:

• Never let anyone into the house without a parent's permission.

• Don't let strangers know an adult is not home. Simply say something
like, "Dad can't come to the door (or phone) right now."

• Carry a house key safely (and don't leave it under the mat).

• Don't go into the house if you see something odd such as an open
door or a broken window.

http://www.sacbee.com/content/lifest...15085368c.html

==
"You have enemies? Good! That means you've stood up for something in your life."
-- Winston Churchill
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