Making love after 1st

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
By all means, go right ahead and be open and try
to make your kids comfortable with the notion, but I rather
suspect that nothing you can do will make it so that your
kids never go through a stage where they find the notion
of parental sex icky ;-) I suspect it has more to do with
the relationship between the parents and the children
(i.e., kids not seeing their parents in a sexual light
despite knowing intellectually that they are sexual beings)
than it has to do with any amount of open, honest discussion
about sex.

God, I'm almost 35 and I'd like to think I got here via IVF. :-) My mom
tried to tell me about her sex life with my dad (like she wanted me to tell
her about me and DH or something), ewww. Not in a zillion years would I
tell her about my sex life. Anyway, she was way secretive about sex, never
told me a thing even when I asked her point blank in sixth grade. She
didn't even tell me about my period. That was also a secret. When that
came, I was supposed to hide all my supplies and everything but she gave me
absolutely no instructions. So now that I'm married, she thinks we can talk
openly about our sex lives. No dice.

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Circe wrote:


Personally, I'd prefer that my kids are comfortable with the idea of
their
parents having an active and healthy sex life (with each other, of
course
g). I know that growing up, I was aware that my parents had a sex
life,
but found the idea vaguely icky. I believe that part of the reason it
seemed
icky to me was that there was a certain level of secrecy about it.


By all means, go right ahead and be open and try
to make your kids comfortable with the notion, but I rather
suspect that nothing you can do will make it so that your
kids never go through a stage where they find the notion
of parental sex icky ;-) I suspect it has more to do with
the relationship between the parents and the children
(i.e., kids not seeing their parents in a sexual light
despite knowing intellectually that they are sexual beings)
than it has to do with any amount of open, honest discussion
about sex.

imo you are exactly right (& to this day the thought of my parents having
sex [with their respective partners, not with each other - that would be a
turnup for the books ;-) ] is something i'd rather not think about - just
as, i strongly suspect, they know that i have sex & i bet they prefer not to
think about that either!

everyone gets to a point in older childhood where they add up the amount of
children in the family, look at their parents & spend a moment of quiet
contemplation "errrr! they must have done it at least TWICE!" & rapidly move
onto something they would rather think about. shrug

imo it's just fine if everyone knows or assumes each other is doing it, but
doesn't want details or (shudder) to actually hear it. but equally, i don't
think it really has anything much to do with a "sex after baby" discussion,
because it's just really not relevent on a daily basis to go about actively
hiding your sex life from your kids. anyone who can't wait till the kids are
asleep or out or otherwise occupied might "need" a lock on their door...
everyone else just restrains themselves suitably, & frankly i can't see
where "hiding your sex life" is even an issue(?). most parents don't want to
be sprung having sex, so they make sure they don't get sprung, & that's
about it, really. simple!!
kylie

Nan wrote in :

On Wed, 7 Jan 2004 11:56:03 -0600, "JonDoe"
wrote:
[snip]
What about after the baby is born?

That would depend on your wife's labor and delivery experience, which
can't be pre-determined. Most women are advised to wait until the 6
week post-partum check up, but many don't wait if they're feeling well
and up to it.

This is a subject that does come up on a periodic basis on mk, so
I did an extremely quick google search, and have come up with the
summaries of two previous times similar questions were asked.

http://groups.google.co.uk/groups?hl...40bcvms.bc.edu
http://groups.google.co.uk/groups?se...reenet.ufl.edu

It's worth emphasizing that your wife might be feeling eager to resume
an active sex life by 6 weeks: or, if she had a difficult birth, it might
be painful for 6 months. Both are normal, although I expect the speed with
which you resume probably also depends on how important sex was to you
both pre-baby.

[snip]
At 2 years, at 3 years, at 5 years. What should I expect.

That will depend on the routines and schedules you have, as a family.
As well as the personalities and temperaments of your children.

Definately agree with that: the answers will be as variable as asking
people about their sex life at any other time.

[snip]

BTW, to the original poster: your post came out as one long line of text
without any break, and I had to scroll widthways to see it. If you use
the return key to put in manual line breaks, it would be readable across
a wider variety of newsreaders.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

JonDoe wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Can you have an active sex life after having kids?

Giving birth can seriously affect a woman's emotional stability.
A sympton know as the "baby-blues".

Your partner may not wish to have sex for a while and prefer to co sleep
with your baby... Patience is a virtue ;-)

If her depression lasts more than two weeks you should try to persuade her
to see a doctor, also try to get the baby out of your bed and into a nearby
cot with the year!

As for keeping your sex life a secret, well it seems to me pretty strange
and unnatural that children can watch people getting blown to bits on TV but
a bit of tender love should be taboo. IMHO just avoid drawing attention to
it, but don't let your children get the impression that there is anything
wrong about the sexual act.

Just my 2 cents worth !