Screaming toddler

"Bev Brandt" wrote in message
om...
"Circe" wrote in message
news:Ypejb.19662$hp5.2483@fed1read04...
...the fact that we're
not moving (he'll scream "Go, go!" when we're idling at stoplights),
etc.

Which only escalates to "Mom! Make it green! Make it green!" (This
after I told Jarrod I couldn't "go" until it was green...so now he
figures I have some sort of control over stoplights. Mom the
Omnipotent.)

In his little world you *are* omnipotent! ) When my daughter became
aware of red and green stoplights, it was confusing to her why I sometimes
would make a legal right turn on red. The inconsistency is right up there
with trying to explain to her that "cat" starts with "c," but "kitten"
starts with "k."

-- Madolyn

On Wed, 15 Oct 2003 17:01:44 GMT, dragonlady wrote:

I've spent most of my life being told to lower my voice. I've always
just had a VERY BIG VOICE. My father's constant embarrassment about it,
and his public reactions, were kind of humiliating. To this day, if I'm
in a restauraunt and someone tells me to lower my voice, I can feel
myself getting red-faced, and returning to that humiliated little girl.

I can sympathize -- I have partial hearing loss in my left ear and when I get
really involved with a conversation, I just get louder and louder and louder.
Every so often, DH will tell me that I'm getting too loud and it embarrasses me
to no end because it makes me feel like a little kid.

I'm not sure what the solution is; I think trying to find a way to
embrace the gift may be better than trying to teach him to control it
before he's a bit older.

I make sure I never, ever correct him loudly in public -- if he's getting loud,
I'll just say, "Hey DS, can you tone it down a bit?" He knows exactly what that
means and he takes it down a notch...for a few minutes.

Usually, the problem is at home. He and his older sister will be talking and
things escalate from there because she also tends to talk loud -- next thing you
know, it sounds like they're yelling at each other when they're just having a
nice conversation (it happens!). The door slamming and stomping, though, are
things that I can barely tolerate sometimes and he knows that these are my
issues, just like some people can't stand gum chewing. I know that he has no
idea that he's being so loud, but it seems like a good thing to keep working on
being sensitive to other people too -- I'm sure I'm not the only one that winces
when a door's slammed!



Tracy
======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================

In article O9Zib.19379$hp5.16851@fed1read04, Circe wrote:
"toto" wrote in message
.. .
When you are driving, stop the car and pull over to the side of the
road as soon as it begins. Calmly say: *If you scream, the car
stops because I cannot drive safely with that noise.* Go on only
when he stops and stop every time.

I knew someone was going to suggest this, but it truly isn't practical. When
you're flying down the freeway at 65mph, you can't just pull over
mid-scream. And usually, when we're in the car, we're on the way to
someplace with a time limitation--taking one of the other kids to school or
picking him/her up, driving to a soccer game/practice, etc. Aside from
which, I don't believe for one instant it would phase him or stop him. *He*
has no particular desire to go anywhere and if he likes screaming, he'll
scream whether the car is motionless or not. I simply can't sit parked by
the side of the road for 10 minutes while waiting for him to stop; I don't
have the time to do that. And if he *did* stop after 10 minutes and we
started moving again, I don't believe he'd view that as any sort of reward
for stopping the screaming--again, he has no particular interest in going to
soccer games or driving Aurora to school, so why would it matter to him
whether we stopped or started?

"In the car" parenting is my toughest time as well, for the very same
reason. We're not usually in the care solely or primarily for something
the toddler wants to be doing, although he usually get to do something
fun once we reach our destination too. But he wouldn't care who was late
for school or their activities (even his own activities) and thus wouldn't
be impacted in any undesirable way by my stopping the car.

Music used to help a lot -- putting on his favorite tape would shut
him up instantly. No more.... But you might try that.

Otherwise, sorry, no great suggestions, only commiseration. I try to
ignore it as much as possible, or, as others have suggested, turn up
the radio. Also sometimes the older kids can distract him.

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

And if he *did* stop after 10 minutes and we
started moving again, I don't believe he'd view that as any sort of reward
for stopping the screaming--again, he has no particular interest in going to
soccer games or driving Aurora to school, so why would it matter to him
whether we stopped or started?

I can totally see this, but it does usually work for us, under our
circumstances. We're seldom on the freeway, and my kids get upset at just
sitting there by the side of the road. They like riding in the car, period,
whether they want to get someplace or not, and if it's not moving, it isn't
fun. So that's why this trick *does* work for some of us.

--Helen