Daughter w/ Mom and school grades

I have been divorced for 5 years, and have 2 beautiful kids.
Relationship with ex wife is civil, but not overly friendly. Wife has
physical custoday, and we share legal. My daughters are very active in
dance school, which I encourage. Ex wife has them in dance 4 days a
week, and recently my oldest daughters grades have fallen. Not
draconianly, but, she got a 'D' in a public school, where she used to
be a total A/B student.

Working with the ex isn't an option, because she'll ignore me if she
doesn't want to listen, or agree. I think if the kid is falling behind
on grades, you take a nice thing away from her, and make her study
harder.

What should I do? Why isn't there any help for a father in these
issues, but there is a 4 story building with a 100 employees making
sure my wages are garnished for CS?

wrote in message
oups.com...
I have been divorced for 5 years, and have 2 beautiful kids.
Relationship with ex wife is civil, but not overly friendly. Wife has
physical custoday, and we share legal. My daughters are very active in
dance school, which I encourage. Ex wife has them in dance 4 days a
week, and recently my oldest daughters grades have fallen. Not
draconianly, but, she got a 'D' in a public school, where she used to
be a total A/B student.

Working with the ex isn't an option, because she'll ignore me if she
doesn't want to listen, or agree. I think if the kid is falling behind
on grades, you take a nice thing away from her, and make her study
harder.

What should I do? Why isn't there any help for a father in these
issues, but there is a 4 story building with a 100 employees making
sure my wages are garnished for CS?

Schedule a parent/teacher conference and get the facts from the teacher.
Once you have that information you will have a better idea what the next
step should be. This situation sounds like a perfect opportunity for you to
demonstrate to your daughter how important she is to you and for you to
reinforce the importance of doing well in school for her future.

wrote in

What should I do? Why isn't there any help for a father in these
issues, but there is a 4 story building with a 100 employees making
sure my wages are garnished for CS?

When any opportunity comes along for a government to get their hands on your
money, they are too glad to setup a system to collect it.

Bob Whiteside wrote:
wrote in message
oups.com...
I have been divorced for 5 years, and have 2 beautiful kids.
Relationship with ex wife is civil, but not overly friendly. Wife has
physical custoday, and we share legal. My daughters are very active in
dance school, which I encourage. Ex wife has them in dance 4 days a
week, and recently my oldest daughters grades have fallen. Not
draconianly, but, she got a 'D' in a public school, where she used to
be a total A/B student.

Working with the ex isn't an option, because she'll ignore me if she
doesn't want to listen, or agree. I think if the kid is falling behind
on grades, you take a nice thing away from her, and make her study
harder.

What should I do? Why isn't there any help for a father in these
issues, but there is a 4 story building with a 100 employees making
sure my wages are garnished for CS?

I think Bob's suggestion of a parent/teacher meeting is an excellent
one. In an ideal world it would be with your ex-wife present but it
doesn't sound like that's an option here. The other thing, which I'm
guessing you've done all ready, is to ask your daughter what's going on
for her, and why she thinks her grades are falling.
Cathryn.

I to have to agree with Bob's suggestion. But I would first inform
the Ex of your plans before following through. Give her a chance to
maybe arrange her schedule to be there at the same time, so it can be
discussed once instead of 2-3 times..

I don't know though if taking away something like Dance will improve
her grades though. I understand philosphy. You deprive the child of a
want, until they do what is required. Could simply be they have
reached a point in their studies where they just truely don't
understand the material, and maybe need some extra tutoring of some
sort.

I wish you luck in dsicovering a solution to this problem. And I'm
also glad to hear that you have taken a pro-active approach to this,
rather then simply blame someone, or something for the senario.

SpiderHam77

I agree! Try to ge extra tutoring. You can try out the new online
tutoring sites like Tutorvista.com so that the tutoring can be done
from home and since it is affordable

wrote:
: I have been divorced for 5 years, and have 2 beautiful kids.
: Relationship with ex wife is civil, but not overly friendly. Wife has
: physical custoday, and we share legal. My daughters are very active in
: dance school, which I encourage. Ex wife has them in dance 4 days a
: week, and recently my oldest daughters grades have fallen. Not
: draconianly, but, she got a 'D' in a public school, where she used to
: be a total A/B student.

: Working with the ex isn't an option, because she'll ignore me if she
: doesn't want to listen, or agree. I think if the kid is falling behind
: on grades, you take a nice thing away from her, and make her study
: harder.

: What should I do? Why isn't there any help for a father in these
: issues, but there is a 4 story building with a 100 employees making
: sure my wages are garnished for CS?


Try positive reinforcement (by you) vs. negative reinforcement ("take a nice
thing away") to motivate her to get better grades. The mother doesn't have
to be involved in the situation. Volunteer for an hour a week at her
school to see how things are going and to establish a good
repoire with the teacher.

Make learning fun. Get involved with the situation vs. attempting
to dictate what the other parent should do. Spend time with her on
the subject she's getting a D in. Use practical examples to reinforce
learning of the subject.

b.