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#221
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upset at nanny -- vent
Dawn Lawson wrote:
Emily wrote: Sorry gotta jump in here. The inference wasn't "reads Chinese therefore doesn't speak English fluently" but rather "reads only Chinese therefore probably doesn't speak English fluently". I suspect it's very rare for someone who is literate in one language (esp. one that requires learning 3000+ individual characters for literacy) to speak another language very fluently without being able to read it (esp. one that has a [roughly] sound-based writing system). I don't suspect it's rare at all, but YMMV. However, I don't think there's been anything to say that the nanny DOES speak English fluently, since Anita speaks Chinese fluently. (which seems to be escaping some in this thread) Because Anita posts here in English and her nanny reads only Chinese needn't mean there must be a language barrier between them. [...] Yeah, what Dawn said. I hired this nanny not just because she spoke (Mandarin) Chinese, but also because she had the same accent (pseudo-Beijing) I have, and also for the very reason that her English is so poor that Pillbug (once he starts speaking) won't be able to get away with using English. I really want him to know how to speak Chinese, but because DH (who is white -- Irish-American) doesn't speak Chinese and he and I communicate only in English, it would be very difficult for Pillbug to pick up Chinese (since my parents are far away). (Whew, how about those two run-on sentences in a row!) Dawn (who'd be screwed if Anita posted here in Chinese ;-) My Cantonese is at least as bad as my Mandarin, which is to say...non-existant.) I tried, but my news reader doesn't have the proper font. -- Anita -- -- SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS. |
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upset at nanny -- vent
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upset at nanny -- vent
Emily wrote in message news:MtNXb.39969
are the happy, together households as happy and together if the mom has a hard pregnancy? Does the community help out in that case? What about with a newborn in the house? ... although actually I'm thinking that newborns have got to be easier than toddlers in many ways!) This is an interesting discussion. The differences between the two are very complex IMO. As far as the above, some personality types react to a change in routine differently. My dh and I are good examples. If some unforseen thing happens I immediately try to figure out how to deal with it, how to make it better, fix it, whatever. I try to plan my life so that if something unexpecyted happens...I'll have some sort of net or cushion. Dh never thinks of the future ever, and if something happens he basically just starts moving in circles completely mired down and unable to do anything constructive. If both parents are like that, there is trouble :-) I know some couples where both people are like that. It isn't always pretty ;-) -- Nikki |
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Marie" wrote in message
| | My best friend started graduate school last semester, taking one | class, and this semester she has 3 or 4. Her son is 14 months old. She says it's hard to get the time to study and do homework because of the baby. Her mother also watches him for her, though I will start watching him occasionally in a couple of months. Wow, I can't imagine doing grad school with a little one. Thankfully the time I get up there, he'll be older, in school, probably able to not have to sit in my lap all day :-) | That is tough! I got pregnant my senior year and my due date was the day of graduation (I lasted two more weeks ;o) When that daughter was 6 weeks old, I went back to work at McD's (making $5.50 which back then was pretty good for fast food) and also started college. I didn't make it to the end of that first semester, I quit when my daughter was about 5.5 months old, I had failed every class but medical terminology. Everyone was telling me it was the best thing for me to do but it was horrible! I think the reason it was so much better the second time I went, even with an extra kid, was because I matured, I wanted to go, and I had a husband. I think if I were to do it over I'd have either only done college, or only worked, but not both. It was too much *for me*. I apparently got pregnant right before graduation. Thankfully I was graduating a year early or I'd have been going to highschool with a baby... and that would have been the worst for me. We don't have the privledge of having schools that allow for moms to do what they need to for their children (IE Pump if they're nursing). Went to college through my pregnancy though. I was able to do school adn work when I wasn't 'mommy' but not afterwards. Course, the only way I get away with not working is because I have a baby and I'm going to school LOL. I know if I had waited any longer to go back to school, I probably would never have done it... wouldnt' have been able to get back in the groove of things. | | Well good luck keeping it there ;o) It's hard work going to school! You only have about 3 years to go for your RN, right? I think the RN program at our tech college here is 2 years, and depending on how many prerequisites you have it can be an extra year. | Marie Amazing how little you can get done in 2 days. LOL. Still behind, but not as much so. The RN program is 2 years, I've been doing pre-reqs for 4 semesters now (spread out) So I'll get a 2 year degree after 4 years. LOL Thanks for the luck! Cadie and Aries |
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Nina" wrote in message ... | i got a degree in computer science | i was a single mother of a toddler and an autistic | grade school child | it was hard,nearky killed me | my sister became an rn with 3 kids,one born while she was in | her last year and then she became single again | its hard, but possible eve in some realllllly hard situations | good luck and best wishes! Thank you :-) Always nice to hear success stories. |
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upset at nanny -- vent
-- Cadie and Aries "XOR" wrote in message om... | "Mom2Aries" wrote in message news:HeSWb.17094$uV3.36334@attbi_s51... | | At my college, most of the people are just out of highschool, but then | again, so am I. Only difference is, tehre biggest problem is if Johnny will | call them again... mine is whether or not I'm spending enough time with my | son and enough time on school work, and will I have money for diapers this | week? I'm 18, and get told I could just put it off until he's older, and | even got chastized for choosing to better myself (like you I did bad in | highschool, only I barely passed with a 2.0... but I have a 3.4 in college) | told I was a bad mother for leaving him to go to school. I didn't leave him | until he was a little over 6 months old, and was nver gone for him for | longer than 4 hours at a time, and got to play with him for an hour or 4 | between classes. | | | Cadie, | | I've not been in your situation and I don't envy you, school is hard | enough without having a child in the mix. But just want to say hats | off to you! Stick with it. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong for | doing it. You ARE bettering yourself and as a result doing something | for your child and he will be the better for it. I'm so impressed by | people such as yourself, it takes a lot of courage and energy to do | what you're doing. In the long run, it'll pay off - not just in income | but in personal satisfaction, and your child will be happier if you're | happy with your life too. | | FWIW a very dear friend of mine had 2 kids by 22, was divorced, no | help from the father but family was nearby and decided to go to | university (in Australia where older students were very much not the | norm). She eventually finished her first degree and worked for 10 | years, then decided to do a PhD in her late 30s. She is absolutely | amazing. It *was* very hard for her, and people often told her not to | bother, but she stuck it out and is doing very well. Her sons are | incredibly proud of her and she is one of the most devoted mothers I | know...and she just became a grandmother . | | btw - if medical school is your goal, you don't *need* to become an RN | first. Not that it's not a good idea if you *want* to be an RN and | that will provide you with some income for awhile. But you can also | consider working your degree towards pre-medical requirements and | applying to medical school sooner. Being an RN isn't really a step | towards becoming an MD, it IS an end in itself and very worthwhile | one, but you needn't do one to do the other, esp if you know NOW. | | Good luck. I love to hear of people like you. :-) Thank you. Energy... I have none of that. Personal satisfaction is a definite goal. This is something I wanted since I was like... 4 :-) Oh I know I don't need to become an RN first. But I know I can't afford school on my own, and bigger schools cost more than what the community college does. So since I will have to transfer and get my Bachelors, I figure I'll get my RN, work for a while, then get my bachelors... paying for it with money I've saved from working... then probably continuing to work some more, then pay for med school with that money. LOL. Did that make sense? That and becoming and RN may possibly help me a lot in medical school, I can get through what I'm doing now... but hands on work is a lot easier for me to get to understanding things. Cadie and Aries |
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upset at nanny -- vent
| I personally was done with school long before I had kids. Dh was in | school though. He feels like it was harder to be in school then to | work. As a family it was harder to have him in school then work. | Financially of course it was much much harder because all the money | goes out and none comes in ;-). | | -- | | Nikki Oh I love that, don't you? My fiancee just makes enough to cover the bills and every now and then have a few bucks left over for a treat. Thankfully nurses are in high demand here, so when I get my degree, I can make a bit of money... more than what we're getting now. Although we are planning a family vacation... gonna spend those tax dollars. Cadie and Aries |
#228
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upset at nanny -- vent
Sorry it took me a while to get back to this, I'm always worse
at replying to posts when they take thought. :-) Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:FFhXb.493078$X%5.387805@pd7tw2no... Why do you think he gets so upset? Does anything work to calm him? Can you gradually build up the time you can have him calm (or even just slightly pouty ;-) )? He actually was handling being thwarted much better this weekend, so it seems to sort of go in phases that have a lot to do with how well he's sleeping/eating etc. As to why he gets so upset, I think that's a big part of it - just his general level of well-being at any time. If he's feeling okay and I don't pick him up the second he wants, he'll complain for a minute but then get diverted onto something else. When he's not feeling okay (and by that I don't necessarily mean sick, when I of course cut him a lot of slack) he has much less buffer space between satisfaction and screaming fits. What I don't know is what exactly is going into these 'not okay' periods. But I recognize that this completely has the potential to get ugly down the road. I feel exactly the way I did when I was trying to use the No Cry Sleep Solution to help him to sleep. I don't know if he's the one for whom gentle transitions don't work well or if I am. how did you feel then? what worked instead? Well, honestly, what worked was cold turkey CIO. I know that's very unpopular here and that there are reasons for that, but in my son's case it seemed to me (and I really do mean 'seemed') that the more gradual transition wasn't gently extinguishing his need to have me there while he slept, but actually exaggerating it because it was drawing out the process of putting him down to sleep. When I started just putting him down, saying "Night-night, sleepy time now" and leaving, he gave every indication that he got it almost immediately, whereas during my attempt at NCSS it seemed like it was mostly making him confused and anxious about when exactly I was going to try to detach from him. Again, though, this is sort of how *my* personality tends to work, so I don't know if I'm seeing inherited tendencies here or if I'm just projecting. I have to admire that you are looking at it this way, actually. I do find it is kind of a weird time around here, where one hour is infant and the next young child. I *do* know one Type 1 family that had two difficult children (the middle one was and is extremely placid)...perhaps I will ask the mum what worked for her. They are the best behaved kids I know, and I hugely admire their parenting style, which is the quietest, calmest I have ever seen. (*and* their house is spotless ;-) ) If you could arrange to have the parents give some sort of seminar, I'd go. :-) No, really, I'd love to know what works for her. I think at least in my case as a Type 2 (I agree that these designations are kinda silly but there they are) part of the problem is my general level of distractibility. I have no idea if there's anything clinically wrong with me, but I do know that I'm on the high end of the scale when it comes to distractibility and disorganization. This has all kinds of ramifications (such as a generally, er, non-spotless house) but it may be harder for people like me to do two things at once, such as attend to a child and do another task at the same time. I think I also tend to a lot of wasted effort at some tasks, which also increases the difficulty level of everything. So I think part of it may actually be parental personality types. However, given your comments about some *communities* having certain tendencies it seems as though there's more going on. I guess for me, that sort of thing was never an option, since if I didn't cook I went hungry and as soon as DS was eating solids more than nursing, so would he if I didn't cook. Well, I went hungry if I didn't cook too, but I tended (and still tend) to 'cook' convenience food way more than I'd like. It's not all that hard to toast bread and put cheese on it, and I can eat that kind of thing almost indefinitely, but it's not the kind of cooking I wish I were doing. Like we were saying at some point, there's also the idea of tasks as part of the pattern of life, and tasks as separate and distinct things. (I'm really not writing well tonight, bear with me) Obviously for you, supper is a task that doesn't mesh well with your pattern, at least not right now. I'm not completely sure I follow the idea that the Type 1 families are committed to things other than child care, maybe because the idea of a pattern of life fits so well with how I see things in the families that I can't quite tease out what they do that isn't just all part of child and/or family care, iykwim. Hmm. Maybe it's not so much that they're committed to things other than child care, but that for them doing these other things is a much more important feature of child care? Things are not always sunshine and light in the Type 1 families, but I've known several of them long enough to go through some troubles and tragedies with them, and the general tone stays very constant. There is an extremely strong sense of community too, which probably helps and which I think a lot of Type 2 families are lacking (myself included in *that* part of it, I'm afraid, and I miss it very much from when I was more like a part of the Type 1 family community) I'm sure that makes a huge difference. It's kind of a cause and effect thing though, because it may be that Type 1 families put a much higher premium on community building. Beth |
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upset at nanny -- vent
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#230
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upset at nanny -- vent
In article MtNXb.39969$jk2.88777@attbi_s53, Emily
wrote: (One of the messiest things about my house these days are those tupperwares... They're never truly clean because they're always being played with, but we just use them anyway. *sigh*) They can't be THAT dirty from just being played with on the floor! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) "Jeez; if only those Ancient Greek storytellers had known about the astonishing creature that is the *Usenet hydra*: you cut off one head, and *a stupider one* grows back..." -- MJ, cam.misc |
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