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Open letter to Dawn Winkler



 
 
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Old September 25th 06, 03:03 AM posted to misc.health.alternative,misc.kids.health
Peter Bowditch
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Posts: 1,038
Default Open letter to Dawn Winkler

From this week's update to The Millenium Project

http://www.ratbags.com/rsoles/

Vote early and vote often (23/9/2006)

In late 2004 I had a conversation with Dawn Winkler, one of the most
egregious anti-vaccination liars I have ever had the pleasure of doing
business with. Actually, it wasn't really a conversation as the
interchange mainly consisted of me pointing out flaws in her story and
her then moving the goalposts and adding more lies to the pile. I
finally gave up as I was worried that observers might accuse me of
mocking the afflicted. You can read the saga at
http://www.ratbags.com/rsoles/comment/hapi.htm.

Ms Winkler has now announced that she is running for political office,
specifically for the position of Governor of Colorado. I have
magnanimously decided to apply my "kind and gentle" policy and offer
her the following suggestions for a platform of policies to use during
the campaign.

Dear Dawn,

I have heard that you are running for Governor of Colorado, so I
thought that I would offer some policy suggestions.

Aged care
Old people are a burden on society, so you should ban anyone over
retirement age from receiving flu vaccine. As winter is approaching in
your part of the world, this should mean that fewer of these ancient
parasites would be around next year with their incessant demands for
subsidised medications, cheap bus tickets and discounts at Pizza Hut.

Workplace productivity
I remember that you told me that the only people who ever lose work
because of the flu are those who have been vaccinated against the
disease. By banning all flu vaccination for people of working age you
will increase overall productivity and also free up workers' sick
leave allowances so that the days can be used for such minor
irritations as pneumonia and major medical catastrophes such as skin
rashes.

Teenage pregnancy
This is always a problem, and there is little politicians can do about
it except to make the penalties more severe. By banning access to
vaccines against hepatitis B and human papilloma virus you will
increase the likelihood that the little sluts will get an appropriate
punishment for their behaviour. This is a long-term solution, of
course, but it won't be many years before every high school girl has
had a friend or acquaintance die because they couldn't get a liver
transplant, a cone biopsy or a hysterectomy in time. You might also
consider banning liver biopsies and Pap smears for even greater
effect.

Road deaths
Statistics indicate that adolescents are over-represented in the road
toll, both as victims and as those responsible for accidents. By
banning all childhood vaccines altogether you will be able to reduce
the number of children who survive until the age when they can start
driving. This will have the added advantage of reducing the need for
public services such as police, ambulances and hospital emergency
facilities. And high schools.

Internet pornography
Measles is one of the leading causes of blindness in the world. By
banning measles vaccination you should be able to increase the number
of blind people who, obviously, can't look at pornography. For those
who don't go blind, banning of the mumps vaccine should increase the
proportion of men who can't use dirty pictures even if they can see
them. A good dose of diphtheria will reduce the ability of female porn
stars to moan in simulated ecstasy and has the added advantage of, how
shall I put this tastefully, making certain sexual practices less
attractive.

Free hair cuts
You could offer to rebate the cost of children's hair cuts if the
parents sent the clippings to a laboratory (not one obviously
associated with Professor Boyd Haley) and pay to have the hair
analysed for heavy metal contamination.

Free dental care
If, as expected, the results of the hair tests show massive mercury
loads, you could offer free replacement of amalgam fillings with
chemical-free composites (but only after compatibility testing at a
laboratory not obviously run for the benefit of Professor Boyd Haley).

University scholarships
You could offer scholarships to allow youngsters to study postmodern
chemistry at the University of Kentucky. Postmodern chemistry is the
sort where the chemical and biological properties of a compound can be
established by looking for other compounds with rhyming names.
Examples would be that ethanol has exactly the same effect on the body
as methanol and how the element boron makes you think of a moron.

Snot elimination
I am sure that it would be attractive to parents of vaccinated
children to be offered subsidised (or even free) supplies of Kleenex
tissues so that they can wipe off the green snot which continuously
runs from the noses of all vaccinated children. This policy might also
attract other voters who are sick of seeing rivers of snot every time
they go near a group of children.

Diapers for autistics
It is almost certain that parents of autistic children will rush to
vote for you if you offer to supply them with free diapers to control
the way that their mute kids **** their pants.

(Note: These last two can be offered as temporary policies, because if
you ban vaccines altogether both autism and nose running will be
eliminated in a generation.)

Other benefits to society
As well as the specific items mentioned above, there could be many
benefits to society arising from the banning of all vaccines, most
related to the reduced number of children who live beyond a few years.
Examples would be reductions in custody disputes in divorce
proceedings, less shoplifting, lower incidence of underage drinking,
reduced class sizes in public schools, decreased demand for child care
places, lower demand for music which parents hate, fewer kids hanging
around shopping centres wearing weird clothes, etc.

I hope you find this list of suggestions useful. Please use them all
in your campaigning as they will show what sort of a person you are
and allow the voters of Colorado the opportunity to see what they
would be getting if you succeed in the gubernatorial race.

Your friend,
Peter
--
Peter Bowditch aa #2243
The Millenium Project http://www.ratbags.com/rsoles
Australian Council Against Health Fraud http://www.acahf.org.au
Australian Skeptics http://www.skeptics.com.au
To email me use my first name only at ratbags.com
 




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