Help! Toddler left in car question

On 3 Mar 2005 18:31:59 -0800, "shinypenny"
scribbled:


Nan wrote:
Perhaps you can approach your dh with, "honey, I know you don't like
wearing a seatbelt, but if we were in an accident and you didn't
survive, it would devastate me to be left without you".

I can confirm that this particular guilt trip can work - I used it on
my DF years ago when we first started dating, and it bothered me that
he would go without a seatbelt. It did take months of gentle reminders
and boo-boo faces, but now he buckles up as a matter of habit.

Same here.

Nan

"nimue" wrote in message
...
toto wrote:
On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 14:38:26 GMT, "nimue"
wrote:

In the baby situation, what, pray tell, was I supposed to do?

Read back in some of the posts to the thread.

Several people have said that you might have actually said
"It makes me uncomfortable to leave the baby alone in the
car. I can stay out here and read while you take care of
business inside." That would have kept baby safe and been
less of a criticism of what she did as it would have put the
discomfort on *your* shoulders and not implied a criticism
of her not feeling the same way.

Oh, lord. Yes -- that would have been a good thing to do. Indeed, I wish
I
had done it. However, I was -- gasp! -- human and a bit thrown by the
situation.

You asked directly above what you were supposed to do.
Then you were told exactly what you asked for. So why on
earth would you respond like this? Like, indeed, you think that
your "critics" are responding to you.

friendly advice on how to handle
it next time would have been great, although unsought. I did not feel
that
some of the advice I got was friendly. I felt chastised

That's absurd. Go back and read the earliest posts on this thread.
Say, the ones from the first day. Tally those up and see what percentage
of those were "chastising" you.

It only got negative when you wouldn't *let* people give their
own open and honest reply. When it didn't fit what you wanted to
hear.



P. Tierney

"toto" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 18:52:55 GMT, "P. Tierney"
wrote:

What's odd to me is that you only want opinions of people
who think that you were right. That is *very* odd.

Not that odd. We've seen it plenty of times here.

That's true, it is common. Logically odd, though.


P. Tierney

"nimue" wrote in message
...

Had advice on
how to handle such a situation been given in a friendly, helpful ,
non-judgmental manner,

Quick advice: Respond to people nonjudgmentally if you want
them to do the same to you.


P.
Tierney

"nimue" wrote in message
...

Do you see how condescending and ultimately worthless the
advice you just gave is?

Do you consider that a that friendly, helpful, and
nonjudgemental response? Just curious.


P. Tierney

In article .com,
wrote:

dragonlady wrote:

Only one of my kids could get out of their carseat at this age. Most

car seats have the child buckled in pretty safely, and parents know
which kids have Houdini like skills at getting out.
--

Two year olds...

There was this occasion when we were at a gas station with our 2 and 4
year-olds. We drove to through the car wash, then pulled up on the side
to to wipe off the car, and vaccuum it, and stuff like that. So both
adults got out, leaving the two kids in the car. (We were *right
there*.)

Then the older kid decided to get out to help, leaving the 2 yr-old in
the car.

That was fine, too. We all three were working on the outside of the
car. The 2 y-o released the car-seat catch, and started wandering
around inside, watching us working on the outside. We were surprised,
but we weren't worried; the engine was off, the hand-brake was on, the
gear was in Park.The car-keys were out of the ignition, clearly in view
on the front seat.

So then the toddler hit the automatic lock button.

We couldn't get into the car.

We tried explaining to the baby how to open the car so we could get in.
No luck.

Eventually, one of the gas-station guys got the car opened with a
J-strip. We were extremely grateful.

Rupa


Since everything worked out OK -- that's funny. It's going to be a
GREAT story to tell his/her dates... or, later, kids.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

In article ,
"nimue" wrote:

After that
happened, I went to my neighbor and told her anytime she needed a babysitter
to help her out if she was tired, I would gladly babysit for free.

I'd have given my eye teeth for a neighbor like you when I was pregnant
with the twins -- I kept falling asleep, and worried about the 3 yo --
or after they were born!

She
never took me up on that offer. She moved shortly after. I wonder what
happened to her.

Kids do get into amazing trouble. I once got a call at around 4:30 am.
My toddler was standing on her friend's doorstep (same comples, one
building over from us) in her jammies. She woke up, and decided she
wanted to play . . . I didn't even know she could get the door unlocked!
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

P. Tierney wrote:
"nimue" wrote in message
...

Do you see how condescending and ultimately worthless the
advice you just gave is?

Do you consider that a that friendly, helpful, and
nonjudgemental response? Just curious.

Hell, no. I was ****ed and will freely admit it -- I have no problem with
that.


P. Tierney

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches." Dawn French

wrote:
On Fri, 04 Mar 2005 05:29:37 GMT, "P. Tierney"
wrote:


"nimue" wrote in message
...
toto wrote:
On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 14:38:26 GMT, "nimue"
wrote:

In the baby situation, what, pray tell, was I supposed to do?

Read back in some of the posts to the thread.

Several people have said that you might have actually said
"It makes me uncomfortable to leave the baby alone in the
car. I can stay out here and read while you take care of
business inside." That would have kept baby safe and been
less of a criticism of what she did as it would have put the
discomfort on *your* shoulders and not implied a criticism
of her not feeling the same way.

Oh, lord. Yes -- that would have been a good thing to do. Indeed,
I wish I
had done it. However, I was -- gasp! -- human and a bit thrown by
the situation.

But she says she was there to look at the house because she and her
husband were "toying with" the idea of purchasing it. So I wonder
why she wishes she had stayed in the car.

You do? Really? Oy, vey.

Ora


You asked directly above what you were supposed to do.
Then you were told exactly what you asked for. So why on
earth would you respond like this? Like, indeed, you think that
your "critics" are responding to you.

friendly advice on how to handle
it next time would have been great, although unsought. I did not
feel that
some of the advice I got was friendly. I felt chastised

That's absurd. Go back and read the earliest posts on this
thread. Say, the ones from the first day. Tally those up and see
what percentage of those were "chastising" you.

It only got negative when you wouldn't *let* people give their
own open and honest reply. When it didn't fit what you wanted to
hear.



P.
Tierney

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches." Dawn French

dragonlady wrote:
In article ,
"nimue" wrote:

After that
happened, I went to my neighbor and told her anytime she needed a
babysitter to help her out if she was tired, I would gladly babysit
for free.

I'd have given my eye teeth for a neighbor like you when I was
pregnant with the twins -- I kept falling asleep, and worried about
the 3 yo -- or after they were born!

She
never took me up on that offer. She moved shortly after. I wonder
what happened to her.

Kids do get into amazing trouble. I once got a call at around 4:30
am. My toddler was standing on her friend's doorstep (same comples,
one building over from us) in her jammies. She woke up, and decided
she wanted to play . . . I didn't even know she could get the door
unlocked!

Oh, my god! That happened to me. Once, I heard a faint scratch at my
door -- I can't believe I even heard it. I opened it to find my neighbor's
(other neighbor, other apartment complex) 5 year old there. I made a big
deal out of this kid -- gave her toys, told her stories -- so at about 6 one
morning she decided to come over! I took her and knocked on her parents'
door, but they didn't get up. I sat on their step for about an hour with
her until they did. They were shocked and thankful. She was an adorable kid
and I really liked her mom. This situation has happened to me more than
once -- the worst was when my husband and I were at a hotel with little
terraces on the ground floor -- THAT was bad and we called the cops. A
baby -- about 18 months, just sort of knocked on our terrace door in a
storm! Oh, lord. I have to go to work today -- no time for details.

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches." Dawn French