Through the words of my daughter

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own" Robert A. Heinlein
Family, as defined by the heart, is much more than genes or family
trees, or the family name. It's much greater. It takes a lot more
than blood to be family. It takes unconditional love, time, and
patience. It takes strength to be there through the bad times as well
as the good. It takes loyalty, honesty, committment, compromise,
self-lessness, acceptance, and sacrfice to be family. What makes a
family is a strong bond. not blood. I will never be Gayle's blood
daughter, or Joey, Darlene, and David's blood sister. But they, my
mother Beverly, and my sister Sara will ALWAYS be family.
As unconventional and unaccepted our family may be, it
transcends the social binds that try to tie us down. But it's a shame
that a group of people how have come together and have been the light in
each other's lives have had to fight to be accepted as a family, which
is what we'll always be, regardless of what anyone on earth thinks or
says. Just because society says it's wrong for my mom to love my
brothers and sister's mom doesn't change the fact that the love is
there. And just because society says that it's not real when I call
Gayle my mother doesn't change the fact that she is my mom.
I have two moms. And I'm proud of my two moms. I have
shared the mother-daughter experiences with both of them. The laughs,
the little talks, the fights. It was hard having two moms. Not
because it made me different than most other high school kids, but
because what my mom, Bev, didn't catch, Gayle ALWAYS did. And as many
times as I may have cursed under my breath or even out loud for the team
that they were, snagging me in some sort of "it's my life and I'll do
what I want" escapade, I love them ten times as much. Gayle has been
in my life and there for me for as long as I can remember. She's
always been someone I could run to, talk to, cry to, laugh with, and
fight with. She brought three other great people into our lives; the
older brothers and sister I would have never had if it wasn't for her.
With what we've all been through together, there's no other
group that deserves to be called family than us. We've fought for
each other and with each other and we fulfill more of what the heart
says the family should be than many other nuclear families existing
today. I just needed to let my mother, Gayle, know that I love her
and the rest of our family. By now I'm sure she knows that our love
even spans the distance between heaven and earth. And now as she
watches down on us with all the love in the world in those beautiful
eyes of hers, I can assure her that we will continue to be a family and
that I will never be ashamed of our family.
After all, what is there to be ashamed of? Unconditional
love, acceptance and having more than one great woman in my life that I
love as "mom"? We are a family before our time, but the time that we
share is magical. And I love you mom, and I love you Gayle. I love
you Joey, I love you Darlene, I love you David, and I love you Sara...
no matter where any of you are.
Jessica

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own" Robert A. Heinlein
That, my friend, is the definition of co-dependency. Trust me, it took me 41
years to figure out that I am co-dependent.

Subject: Through the words of my daughter
From:
Date: 4/26/2004 12:04 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: .net


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own" Robert A. Heinlein


That, my friend,

have we met ? Talked in the past maybe ?

is the definition of co-dependency.

Really?

Trust me,

mmmmm geeze I don't know

it took me 41
years to figure out that I am co-dependent.


Sorry to hear that, get some help for that it is not easy in any aspect of
life.


This may be what you comprehend and understand when you read this quote, I
myself get a simple feeling of is that loving someone truelly is to be equally
happy. If I am sure to consider anothers happiness , as well as my own then I
have found true love, it is an unconditional, unselfish act to truelly love.
Isn't it amazing how we each get something totally different from the same
words? If someones every thought was towards anothers happiness alone than yeah
I could see the codependant twist on that relationship. Hmmm.......
interestingly a good point to ponder when it is only typed words we read here
and try to understand what someone is truelly saying. Thanks for the insight !
Bev

"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Through the words of my daughter
From:
Date: 4/26/2004 12:04 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: .net


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own" Robert A. Heinlein


That, my friend,

have we met ? Talked in the past maybe ?

is the definition of co-dependency.

Really?

Trust me,

mmmmm geeze I don't know

it took me 41
years to figure out that I am co-dependent.


Sorry to hear that, get some help for that it is not easy in any aspect
of
life.


This may be what you comprehend and understand when you read this quote, I
myself get a simple feeling of is that loving someone truelly is to be
equally
happy. If I am sure to consider anothers happiness , as well as my own
then I
have found true love, it is an unconditional, unselfish act to truelly
love.
Isn't it amazing how we each get something totally different from the same
words? If someones every thought was towards anothers happiness alone than
yeah
I could see the codependant twist on that relationship. Hmmm.......
interestingly a good point to ponder when it is only typed words we read
here
and try to understand what someone is truelly saying. Thanks for the
insight !
Bev

Totally unrelated to anything this post is about.... I just wanted to let
you know that your posts are hard to read at times because one doesn't know
who is saying what.

Hope Jimmy is ok.

T

Subject: Through the words of my daughter
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 4/26/2004 9:56 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Through the words of my daughter
From:
Date: 4/26/2004 12:04 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: .net


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own" Robert A. Heinlein


That, my friend,

have we met ? Talked in the past maybe ?

is the definition of co-dependency.

Really?

Trust me,

mmmmm geeze I don't know

it took me 41
years to figure out that I am co-dependent.


Sorry to hear that, get some help for that it is not easy in any aspect
of life.



This may be what you comprehend and understand when you read this quote, I
myself get a simple feeling of is that loving someone truelly is to be
equally
happy. If I am sure to consider anothers happiness , as well as my own
then I
have found true love, it is an unconditional, unselfish act to truelly
love.
Isn't it amazing how we each get something totally different from the same
words? If someones every thought was towards anothers happiness alone than
yeah
I could see the codependant twist on that relationship. Hmmm.......
interestingly a good point to ponder when it is only typed words we read
here
and try to understand what someone is truelly saying. Thanks for the
insight !
Bev

Totally unrelated to anything this post is about....

Yeah now that I read it you are right, I was replying to the posters comment on
the quote that made it into my cut and paste of my daughters eulogy, it really
was not supposed to be a part of that, It was a quote I liked just after Gayles
death that gave me some peaceful thoughts about her. I took it off a memorial
I had in another group for her. Sorry!

I just wanted to let
you know that your posts are hard to read at times because one doesn't know
who is saying what.

Right again , geeze I have a hard time yet getting the hang of this stuff, My
bad and I'll try to fix my style to be more understandable


Hope Jimmy is ok.

Thanks Tiff , we are so worried, if the air that has seeped out of his lung
does not , I don't know dissapate? They have to go in and remove it through a
needle. a very long needle and he is not a needle person he is so scared My
daughter is a mess , and I really appreciate your concern .
You have a nice day......
Bev
T