Name question

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby a name
that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3 months after
you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think
she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.

I tend to feel that the names I use are *my* names and I might be a bit
miffed if someone used one of *mine*. But I know I'm weird about names -
lol.

I like my child's name to be unique among the people I know, so I wouldn't
give my children names that have already been "taken." If someone wanted to
take my child's name, I wouldn't mind too much, because we were the
original. Although, I do admit it's nicer to think of my child's name as
the one and only. That won't happen, though, because DS's got a very
popular name.

Sophie,
I would have no problem with it, even if the friend who used the same name
lived closer. The fact that you won't likely see them again just makes it
easier on you, if you do chose to use that name.

We had a few boy names and a few girls names on our list, one of which was
Nicolas Allyn. A friend of ours had a baby boy and named him Niklaus
Alain -- and it was a complete fluke. We went to visit them in the
hospital, and when they told me what the baby's name was, I just laughed out
loud and told them what a coincidence it was, that it was very similar to
our #2 boys name.

Yes, you are a wee bit weird and possesive about names...but we love you
anyway. At the same time, every name out there, unless you make it up from
scratch, has been used by someone, and will be used again. I don't see it
being a big issue, especially since they live so far away. At the same
time, I do think it's polite or considerate, to give her a heads up and let
her know that it's on your list. Or not. Either way. If you don't want to
give anyone the heads up on the names, you can always tell her later, when
the baby is born and shares her child's name, that you both had the same
idea, and great minds think alike.
--

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Sophie

How would you feel if, 3 months after you
have your baby, a friend used the same name?

Hmm. How popular/common the name is makes a difference in my mind. If we
had chosen John or Joseph, I probably wouldn't have cared at all. But if a
friend had decided to name their son Eamon or Quinn 3 months after one of
them had been born, I admit I would think it was a little bit like poaching
or something. Maybe I'm weird about names too then. :-)

-- Alpha
mom to Eamon and Quinn

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever.

How do you know? Is she not that close of a friend, plus the distance factor
etc? Just curious. Because I think it makes a difference. I am weird about
names too. read on down!

How would you feel if, 3 months after you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think
she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.


I'd feel "madder" if I told a friend a name I planned to use and she had her
baby first, and used my name first. I'd be miffed. Now, if a friend of mine
had her baby and named it a name I was thinking of using...and we weren't in
a circle of seeing each other often...AND, she didn't care..I'd ask her if
she cared, and if she didn't I'd have NO problem using the name myself.

If we were in the same circle, and I asked her if she minded if I used the
name too since by coincidence it happened to be the name I wanted...and she
didn't mind...I am not sure I could use the name, it might be ruined for me!
It wouldn't matter as much if we weren't to see each other much. So- it
depends on how often you will see her or be involved with her, how close you
are. Also depends on how much you love the name..if it's really a name you
love, go for it.

Say you ask her, and she DOES mind...if she's that far away and you won't
ever see her much, use the name anyway! IMO.

Me personally, like I said, I would be maddest if I told someone a name I
was going to use and they had their baby first and used it, knowing I had it
picked out. Especially if it was a friend or acquanitance I'd see often, or
a relative. It doesn't matter much at all if you will never be around or
involved with them except by long distance- a few calls here, an email
there...If I had the baby first and named it my name and then someone close
to me named their baby that later....oh well. If they feel ok about that,
doesn't bother me. If I really had my heart set on a name, really and
truly...and loved the name THAT much and wanted to use it..the only thing
that would stop me is if a relative such as close cousin or sister
especially, used the name. I mean I feel you can't have first cousins named
the same thing. Like obviously you wouldn't have 2 girls of your own and
name them both the same. I won't even name a son after my husband and call
him by the name my husband uses (which is David). I will name the son
David -something, but will call him by the middle name to eliminate
comfusion.

Was that enough scenarios for you? lol. In your case my opinion is it's fine
whether or not your friends cares, for you to use the name, and if I were
your friend, I wouldn't care.

I tend to feel that the names I use are *my* names and I might be a bit
miffed if someone used one of *mine*. But I know I'm weird about names -
lol.

Sophie

Honestly, I might be a teeny bit bummed too, but I'd get over it. If it were
someone I'd see a lot or a relative, I'd be really annoyed, but in your
situation I think it's ok.

Why not ask her?

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 3 years
Christopher, 11 months

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Sophie wrote:

No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby a
name
that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3 months after
you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think
she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.

I tend to feel that the names I use are *my* names and I might be a bit
miffed if someone used one of *mine*. But I know I'm weird about
names -
lol.

I think this falls into the category of things people
have to get over. I'd think twice about reusing a name among
close friends or family, just because I think it's a pain to
have to distinguish among two people with the same name that
you often talk about at the same time or see at the same
time, but even that isn't universal. I have a friend whose
sister and daughter are both named Paige and they manage
just fine with Big Paige and Little Paige when they have to
distinguish. Wouldn't be my cup of tea, though. But a
friend I wouldn't see much using the name wouldn't stop me
at all if I really liked the name, and I don't have a lot
of patience for people getting upset at someone else using
a name. It's not like they're copyrighted or anything ;-)
Names are hard enough without adding to the difficulty ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka


I agree with Ericka .... I wouldn't like to use names of other kids we see
all the time as I'd hate to have to distinguish. But in this case where you
won't see much of this friend, I wouldn't worry one bit - if you do get to
meet up when the kids are older, they might get a kick out of meeting
someone with the same name as them (assuming you are staying true to form
and are not choosing a very popular name
my 2c
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 14:27:59 -0400, "Sophie"
wrote:

No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby a name
that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3 months after you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.

I tend to feel that the names I use are *my* names and I might be a bit
miffed if someone used one of *mine*. But I know I'm weird about names -
lol.

I couldn't use it. I would feel like I was using her child's name and
my child needed one of his/her own.


--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

Sophie wrote:

No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby a name
that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3 months after you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.

I tend to feel that the names I use are *my* names and I might be a bit
miffed if someone used one of *mine*. But I know I'm weird about names -
lol.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04



Any name you are bound to use has already been used many times
unless you make one up, then it will probably be as strange as
many we've heard recently. Use the name you like and don't
worry about it. Odds are your child will have someone of the
same name in a preschool class anyway.

gloria p

Sophie wrote:
No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday.
We will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby
a name that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3
months after you have your baby, a friend used the same name? She
has no idea what names we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I
personally don't think she'd care but I just wondered how you all
would feel.

It wouldn't bother me at all.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

Sophie says...
No, I'm not giving any clues

A good friend, who lives in another country, had her baby yesterday. We
will likely never see this friend again, ever. She named her baby a name
that we're seriously considering. How would you feel if, 3 months after you
have your baby, a friend used the same name? She has no idea what names
we're thinking of but a mutual friend does. I personally don't think she'd
care but I just wondered how you all would feel.

OoOh - that's a hard one.
We were in a similar situation, with our names actually picked and set,
but we had a relative ( close in blood only ) in another country due to
give birth a few months before us. We held our breath waiting for the
name, but had decided we would go ahead with our choices regardless.

However, maybe we would have weakened if they did steal our names ..
that, I can't say ...

Good Luck !



--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004